The Memoirs

Ms. Bird, Dick, and Whitney were working. The floor was almost cleaned, the blood in the bathroom gone. The stench of bleach was outrageous, and Dominic stood in the door way only for a moment to see that everything was going alright.

His foot took him, much to his surprise, downstairs. Bruce and Chloe had nearly cleaned all the blood up, heat raging from the fans as the ice melted.

Dominic was good to his word, and he passed them silently as he walked into the small room beside the lab with trepidation and fear. Just for a moment, just to check on the infant, though his mind told him the child was dead. He'd promised Lex. The baby was tiny, in its little bundle of blankets, a small sheet brought over his face.

He couldn’t walk all the way in. Just peaked in from the door, looked at that child that could have fit in his palms, and walked back out. He left the lab without another word, back up the steps, but instead of taking a left he took a right, following the hall down until he reached twin doors under the stair cases. One was a coat closet, the other a secret passage to the library across the house, and Dominic took that door into the darkened hall.

He sank, his fist in his mouth to keep his sounds as quiet as possible, to the ground.

And cried for the pity of what had happened this day.

~ * ~ * ~

The first thing that Lionel became aware of was something poking him in the ass. And it was not a pleasurable feeling. Hard, cold, smooth and unyielding, Lionel pried open eyelids that felt gummed shut, and rooted around under him. He came back with an empty Auvignon bottle, and sighed. He would have finished the dregs, only there were no dregs left in the bottle to be finished. He hurled it, and it crashed against the wall with a beautiful spray of broken glass.

And Lionel winced, clapping his hands over his ears at the loud noise. So this is what a hangover feels like. I must have these things abolished by natural law.

Hours had passed. Dominic had had his cry, had cleaned himself up. Showered with water so hot it hissed when it touched him, and he had scrubbed himself raw. When again the pasty, drying feeling of blood was gone, Dominic dressed in black slacks and a black shirt.

And he was standing at the door of Lionel’s study, watching him.

He'd come upon his lover unconscious, but rather then run in in concern, he'd stayed at the door, watching him. The room stunk of liquor and sweat, and his lover half lay and half sat on the buttery leather sofa, bottles about him.

The crash of glass didn’t startle him, and he simply stood, hand sin his pockets, feet crossed at the ankle, leaning against the door frame.

Lionel turned and glared at the open door. "Either come in or get out," Lionel snarled. "Whichever you do, turn off the light and shut the door."

The snapped words flew over his head, but Dominic stepped in, and closed the door behind him. Their bedroom door was open past Lionel, the lamps glowing softly that Ms. Bird must have put on, as well as a softly crackling fire. Dominic’s shoes were quiet on the thick rug, and he gently lifted an empty cognac bottle and sat down beside his lover.

"I am going to murder whomever put lights on in this blasted room."

"Shhh." Dominic rose and walked across the study, shutting the bedroom door so the room was once again cast in shadow but for a small light lit on Lionel’s desk. He walked back to the couch, sitting again beside him and not daring to touch.

"Thank you," Lionel grunted. "For that alone, I'll give you a raise next month."

"I don’t want a raise." Dominic said quietly. Silence again, for several long moments, until he spoke. "Feel any better?"

"Then I'll give it to someone else in your name." Lionel peeked out from under his elbow. "No."

"Y'cleaned out the liquor cabinet, love. You mean to tell me all that booze now swimming into your poor, abused urethra didn’t help at all?"

He actually stopped and considered. "Not a whit."

"Then why did you drink it?"

"Because, little cricket, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Hmm." Dominic murmured, considered, and rose. He went to the mostly emptied, destroyed bar, and poured himself a glass of cognac. 1990 was a very good year, and he murmured that appreciatively as he went to sit beside his lover once more. He took a drink of it, stared at the ice in his glass, and gave a soft hiss. "Ah, yes. I can see now why that might be helpful. The burn is lovely."

Lionel reached out, took the glass from his lover's hand, and drained it.

Dominic tipped his head softly and reached forward, pressing his mouth to Lionel’s before he could swallow. The cold liquid slid into his mouth as he kissed his lover, taking with him the taste of whiskey, cognac, brandy, and god knew what else as he did. He pressed a palm to Lionel’s cheek softly, stroking his tongue with his own until he let go, and swallowed the last few drops that hadn’t run down his throat during the kiss.

Lionel didn't fight the gentle kiss, didn't fight the tricky removal of the alcohol before he could drink any more of it. His hand came up to cup Dominic's face, his tongue moving gently against his lover's, and then glared feebly. "That... was a smooth trick, my little cricket. I'll give you that."

"And I'll keep doing it until either I get drunk and pass out, or you stop." Said Jiminy murmured softly, toeing his shoes off to cross his ankles again and set his feet on the table before them. God, and putting his feet up for just a moment was lovely.

"It's called, in crass terms, the hair of the dog that bit you. The best cure for a hangover is enough alcohol to dull the pain."

"The best cure for a hangover is tea and rest." Dominic said right back, leaning against a pillow between them as he looked at his socked feet for lack of anything else to. "You need to bathe, Husband."

Lionel's head rolled to look at his lover. "Speaking of, did Lex ever get showered?"

"I dunna'know, but I believe he did. I checked in on Clark… found him sleeping, and Lex no where to be found. However, he left his trademark mess in the bathroom, so I believe so."

"Clark is still sleeping?"

"Aye."

"Then he needed it." He blinked. "You don't know where Lex is?"

"Ms. Bird said he was down in the lab, with Bruce."

"What in God's name is he doing down there?" Lionel struggled to sit up, but left his head sitting down on the arm of the sofa.

Dominic rolled his head and gazed at his lover right back. "I intercommed down there. Bruce said he was looking at something. Lex wouldn’t answer him though, so young Mr. Wayne is keeping an eye on him. And.." He added, quietly. "He's keeping him away from the baby."

"Thank God for that." Lionel finally managed to leverage himself up so that he was sitting mostly upright. "But he doesn't need to be down there."

"You don’t need to be here drinking yourself into oblivion." Dominic met his eyes, and shrugged a slender shoulder slightly. "We all have ways of coping."

"As you can clearly see, I am not in oblivion. I am merely in Hell, and am working my way up."

"Or down, if you think about it." Dominic looked at his feet again. "Why don’t you go shower, beloved?"

"I’m sure you’re not hungry, but I’ve got some gold fish crackers we could munch on. Watch a little TV, and sleep."

"No, I'm not hungry. But... yes. A shower sounds nice." Lionel tried to leverage himself up to his feet, and finally succeeded on the third try.

Dominic got up as well… didn’t help him, because Dominic might smack him for it, and simply stood next to him, hands in his pockets. "I'll pull the sheets and blankets down, get everything right and cozy."

"Do me one favor, Jiminy."

"What’s that?" He glanced up from his little silver glasses he'd found in the pocket of the slacks he was wearing.

Lionel glared. "Stop being cheerful."

"I’m 'fraid I can’t do that."

"Try." Lionel glared, and then staggered into the bathroom, eyes closed to help preserve his balance. Once he was inside the bathroom, he heaved the door shut, and leaned against it.

The drinking hadn't helped at all. He'd hoped it would; he'd hoped that he'd be able to drown newly reopened memories along with the new experiences and instead, the alcohol had blurred it all into one huge, gaping hole in his psyche.

His fist pounded on the door once as he tried to reign in the reeling emotions that ran freely in his drunken haze, and succeeded only in hurting his hand.

Because if I stop being cheerful, I'll lose my mind. But he didn’t say that, simply shrugging his shoulders again as they stepped into their bedroom. The fire was blazing, the lamps making the room cozy and deep, and Dominic watched as his lover stepped into the bathroom.

He let his facade fall, misery in his motions and face as he dragged the blankets back and pulled his pants off, drawing the pajama pants up onto his hips. A white t-shirt with Daytona Beach on it went over his chest, and Dominic pushed the glasses further up his nose as he crawled into bed. There was noting he could do for Lionel, because he knew his words would not be appreciated, and he just sat back against his pillows, turning the television on in the corner and swiping away the tears with a hard hand, the ones that had managed to slip past.

Lionel struggled through the shower, the hot water shocking the fog from his brain, washing out the pain in his muscles and his body as he scrubbed away the smell of sweat, blood and alcohol. He didn't look as the water ran red--Clark's blood was a damned inhuman color and he knew that he'd never be able to forget seeing it--and he strangled down the noise that wanted to come out of his chest.

He would not cry; he did not cry. He'd promised Lillian once that he wouldn't, and that promise had held him for the decades since her death.

But this wasn't just his own pain. It was the pain of his son, the boy borne of his own blood, going through the same loss that he had.

A harsh sob escaped his tight chest before he could stop it.

Dominic heard it. He would be a fool not to, and he closed his eyes, struggling to keep himself strong as he pressed his face into Lionel’s pillow. Christ, his poor lover, his beloved. He hurt for his lover, his step son, Clark.

And the agony in his heart bled for that baby lying cold and dead on the table downstairs.

By the time Lionel emerged from the bathroom, twenty minutes later, his face was as dry as the rest of him, dressed in silk pajamas as he toweled his long mane dry.

Dominic’s face was pressed into his lovers pillow, his eyes on the television. Indy 500 this month. Friends rerun. Jay Leno. All the normal parts of life seemed so strange and detached, trivial, and he pushed the mute button on the evening news when he heard is lover enter. He turned, gazing at him for a long moment, in his lovely sleeping clothes and wet hair... and he offered his arms to his lover.

Lionel went to Dominic's arms in the bed without a word, leaving the towel slung around his shoulders. He hadn't even bothered putting his glasses back on; they'd been thrown on the dresser carelessly, and he left them there without a thought as he climbed in beside Dominic and moved close so that his head would rest on his lover's shoulder. Just before he put it down, however, he took the towel from around his shoulders, folded it into a protective square, and set it on Dominic's shoulder so that he didn't soak his lover's shirt with his damp hair.

And because it was such a normal thing, Dominic wanted to crack a smile. Tried, and it felt more like a wince then anything. Instead of letting his lover down on his shoulder, however, he sat up a little and pulled Lionel between his legs. Back to his chest, and he tugged his lover close, hugging him as he pulled the blankets and lay back against the headboard and hundred fluffy pillows.

Lionel didn't complain as he was shifted, and he nestled tightly against his lover. He pulled Dominic's arms around his waist, leaning his head back on a comfortable shoulder.

Dominic snuggled him close, arms snuggled right around him, and lay his head against Lionel’s as he turned the sound back on the television and they watched. Sixty minutes, something about the war in Iraq and what business, and Bush's... less then tactile efforts in the entire mess. Dominic was barely listening, though; he just felt Lionel’s heart beat softly where they were pressed together, legs and chest and back, and the soft inhale and exhale as he breathed. It was so soothing, and here, with his lover close, he could let the wall down just a little.

Hot tears ran down his face in his misery, here with his lover where it was safe, as they watched Larry King argue about Bush's level of idiocy, and rubbed the tears into Lionel’s moist hair, so he wouldn’t see. Not here. His lover could never see, now when he needed him so much.

But he could feel. He felt the hitching in Dominic's chest, but didn't say a word, felt the hot tears in contrast to the cooling of the shower water against his hair, and he didn't say a word. He just let Dominic cry softly, and his grip tightened around his lover's wrists. "It's all right, Dominic."

Dominic didn’t say anything, gulping silently to keep it in. Not here. And not now. He controlled himself, with a violent strength that tightened the fist around his heart, and calmed himself down. Not now. Not. Now. He simply moved his wrists out of Lionel’s hands, replacing them with his fingers, and wound their fingers together around his waist as they watched the TV.

But he kissed Lionel’s ear softly, in thank you.

Lionel's fingers wound gratefully through his beloved's, and he brought them to his mouth, kissing them softly. "You're strong, Dominic."

"You’re the strongest of all of us." Dominic said softly, bringing their cheeks together so he could nuzzle him softly. "I know how you hurt. But I’m here, to take some of the pain away. Clark and Lex are young… they'll recover from this, and someday they'll have children. Because Lex has your strength, and Clark leans on that like I lean on you."

"I know they'll recover," Lionel said softly. "But this... this is a pain that I wish my son had never had to feel." His grip tightened gently on Dominic's hands. "The loss of a child, from your own blood, your own body. There... there have been times when I have engineered situations to temper the steel that I see in Lex, but this, this is something that I would have given my very life to have prevented him from ever having gone through."

"Lionel, I know how you feel about religion. But I believe, in my very non believing heart, that God had a part to do with this. He is teaching Clark and Lex something they need to know… maybe something that will save them later. Something to bring them together, to cross that rift that’s been between them for weeks. This is their test and trial, Lionel. And we can do nothing, but not interfere and let them work it out. Be there for them, love them because they’re beautiful children and deserve to be loved."

"This... this is more than a test and a trial, Dominic. This... this is pain. This is unbearable pain, the denial of which cost me my wife. We both know, Dominic. We both know that Lillian died of a broken heart, and I will not let my son nor his lover fall prey to the same thing. I will not lose either of them."

"I know." He said softly, staring at the television without seeing it. "But we cant dictate how they have to deal with this pain, Lionel. Their child was taken from them for a reason. Just like yours was taken for a reason." He looked down at Lionel’s hair, and the bit of his profile he could see. "There’s a reason these things happen, Lionel."

"I simply refuse to believe that, Dominic." Lionel closed his eyes. "I refuse to believe that Julian died for a reason. I refuse to believe that he was given to me to love, and then be taken away to cause the aftermath his death caused. I do not believe it, and I will not believe it."

"I’m sorry." Dominic said it softly. "I say the wrong things sometimes. I just meant... your son was given to you to love. And you loved him. He never knew a day when someone wasn’t caring for him, when someone wasn’t loving him. But God takes his children whenever he wants to, you know. I’m not very good at this." He said it softy. "You should talk to Lindy about it."

"I have someone looking after your sister as we speak; I don't think I'm going to disturb her with my problems." He looked up at his lover. "I know what you meant, Dominic. But I refuse to believe I loved in vain."

"You didn’t. Your child was beautiful, and when he looked at... at you, when he looked into your face and smiled. You didn’t love in vain." Dominic said it softly, meeting Lionel’s eyes quietly.

"I did. Because he was taken from me, despite the fact I loved him."

And Dominic didn’t have the answer to that. There was nothing he could do, but press his face close and close his eyes, hold Lionel to him and be safe. "We... we need... a meeting. To debrief those who know."

"Too many people know," Lionel countered softly. "You. Me. Dick. Bruce. Those two teenagers."

"Whitney and Chloe are Clarks best friends." Dominic nodded, softly. "They’re good kids." Sudden image, of Clark screaming in pain on that table, gore everywhere, and Dominic shuddered from his head to his toes, and pressed his face into Lionel’s neck.

Lionel wrapped his arms around Dominic's waist, hands sliding up his lover's back to press the back of Dominic's head gently. "I don't care how good they are, they'll need to be eliminated."

He stopped. His blood ran cold in his veins, and Dominic looked up at his lover silently.

Lionel looked down as he felt the stillness in his lover's form. "Yes?"

"I almost gave my life for that girl, but a few hours ago."

"Then she will trust you." Lionel stroked Dominic's hair gently.

"No." He shook his head and pulled away, just enough. "No."

"No what?" He let Dominic go, and looked at his lover calmly.

"No, you can’t kill them."

"They know. And unlike Bruce, they can't be trusted."

"They’ve been here since this morning. They sacrificed their innocence, they've been scrubbing blood from the walls, the floor, the bathroom. Whitney and Dick cleaned the bathroom. Chloe helped me in the lab. They can’t die..." Defiance, in his eyes, as he looked up. "I won’t let you."

Lionel's eyes grew cold for just a moment. "You can't stop me, Dominic. They know. They have seen. I won't have Clark's life or my son's life turned upside down by this, and if eliminating two other lives will protect them, then that is what I will do."

"Then you will have to eliminate me too." Dominic said softly but without a twinge of regret, still looking up at him. "Will you kill me as well, Lionel?"

At that, Lionel looked down. "No."

"There’s been enough death. Don’t let more innocent children lose their lives over this tragedy."

"I have to protect my son and Clark."

"I do too. But there’s ways to go about it that don’t have to involve death, Lionel." Dominic reached up, and stroked a hand down his cheek. Even if he was deathly afraid of the person he saw in those brown eyes looking back down at him. "You have to know I wont let anything happen to them. I love them too."

"Don't ask me to choose, Dominic. Don't ask me to choose between you and my son."

He already knew the answer. "I know. I'd never ask that of you." He wanted desperately to go somewhere and hide, but stood his ground, gazing up at him. "But I ask this of you, like I have before. Don’t kill two children who've barely gotten a chance to live."

Lionel looked hard at his lover. "I will make you a deal, Dominic. If you can ensure their silence, then I'll leave them be. But the first time either of them speaks, then the deal is off."

"Okay." A soft nod. "They will never again speak of it. I promise."

"I trust you, Dominic. I leave this situation in your capable hands." He kissed his lover's cheek softly, but didn't do more. "I know it troubles you, when I am this way. I am sorry, but I have to think of these things to protect my family. You are included in that; I would not harm you."

A little nod, but he didn’t say anything. The hard weight of his lover against him, touching him, and for the first time in a long time he remembered the type of man Lionel had been. It used to scare him, all the time. But as time had gone on, he'd gotten closer to him, and that other aspect, as he said, had gone away. Except times like these, that man came out, and alienated him.

But he loved Lionel, for better or worse. He loved him, had made a promise to him only weeks ago. And he would stick to that promise, until he died. Even during times like this. "I know. You're a good father, Lionel."

"Not as good as I could have been," Lionel said quietly. "And it haunts me."

"Yes, you were. You were as good a father as circumstances allowed. I’m proud of you for that." Dominic nodded softly, looking at his lovers cheek bones, his ear, but not his eyes. Not yet. He reached out to stroke over Lionel’s ear, still speaking quietly. "You don’t give yourself enough credit."

"All the credit belongs to you." Lionel sat up in his lover's arms, and then put his feet on the floor. "You've made me into the man I am now." He started to get up from the bed, but paused as a sharp pain lanced through his head.

"Lionel?" He saw his lover start and sat up quickly, grabbing him as he jerked. "Lionel??" Oh. Oh, God. His lover. Oh, God. Oh. God. Stroke, heart attack, and Dominic's heart jerked as he grabbed him.

Lionel shook his head. "Hangover. My head does not like moving when I do." He could feel the worry from his lover, and it warmed him that Dominic worried for him, even when he was angry with him.

And Dominic was furious with him. Terrified of him, and what he could do. Sad. But this man was his man, and he wished no ill being on him. But when he said it was just a hangover he nodded, and bit his lip tightly. "Lionel, I don’t want you to leave."

"Dominic... I'm either going to get up and go to the bathroom, or I'm going to disgrace myself in the middle of the bed. And since I refuse to disgrace myself..."

"Oh." He nodded. Okay. He could deal with that. "Hurry back." Don’t leave me alone.

"I will, Dominic." Lionel rose to his feet without further incident, and closed himself in the cool tile bathroom. He leaned against the door for a brief moment before taking care of his business, and then he washed his hands, dried them carefully, and leaned back against the door for just a moment, thinking.

He didn't want Dominic angry at him. He couldn't apologize for wanting to protect his son and Clark. He was at a loss as to what to do. Dominic had always known his business before, and had helped, arranged, and advised. Now, though... it was different, because he was a different man, except for this, and Dominic was upset by his ruthlessness. He didn't know what to do.

Dominic had laid back into bed, half on his belly and half on his side. His limbs were stretched out, watching the TV with little interest as he waited for his lover. He'd rubbed his cheeks on the pillows for a few moments and now lay quiet, silent, hugging his pillow as he shifted.

Shaking his great mane, Lionel washed his face quickly with cold water, patted it dry, and came back out, standing at the foot of the bed. "I am back."

"Okay." Dominic moved over from where he had hogged Lionel’s side of the bed, snuggling under the blanket softly.

Lionel snagged the last bottle of cognac, and carried it to bed with him, setting it on the bedside table. He slowly climbed in, and settled himself against the pillows. "I'm sorry."

"Don’t be. I’m judgmental." Dominic said softly, looking up at him as his lover moved against the blankets. "You're a good father. Lex should be proud to have someone who loves him so unconditionally, so completely."

Lionel shook his head. "You're not being judgmental, Dominic. You're being kind and tenderhearted, just as you always are. Nothing more or less."

"You are as you are, my love." He said softly. "I will crack to your every whim… but this." Dominic didn’t look at him, simply stroking his fingers softly. "You have been strong, lovely. But… what are you going to tell Lex?"

"About?" Lionel asked, voice soft as he picked up the cognac bottle he'd brought to the bedside table.

Dominic reached out and took it from him, setting the bottle on the floor behind himself before rolling back. "About what happened today. He's going to come to you eventually, my love." He rolled and pulled himself to sitting, slipping up and snuggling his lover softly. He set himself a little higher, so Lionel could lay his head on his shoulder, and the news turned into a rerun of Seinfeld in the next moment.

"I honestly don't know, Dominic. When the times comes... I suppose I shall do what every parent does... and wing it." The smirk that should have come with that didn't.

"And do it well. You’re good at winging things." Dominic said softly, reaching for his hand. "I love you, even when you put Joey Fattone to shame."

"Who?" Lionel asked softly, moving to rest his head not on Dominic's shoulder but his stomach, lying almost lengthwise across the bed. His hair fanned out over Dominic's stomach and thighs, and Lionel laced his fingers together over his belly.

Oh. Dominic liked that. He set his fingers on Lionel’s chest softly, shaking his head as he leaned back comfortably into the pillows. "You don’t catch a lot of HBO, I’m guessing, hmm?"

"Almost none, to be frank." Lionel closed his eyes as he listened to the softened rumble of the television show and his lover's voice.

"You should watch sometime. The Sopranos are quite an addictable family, you know." Dominic said it softly, stroking Lionel’s hair from his eyes. "Almost as good as American Idol and Everwood. Addicted to that show I am, and damned if that father on the show doesn’t look like me brother."

"Mmm. The Sopranos. I am sure that Lex would have recognized the reference, even though I haven't." He smiled softly at the comment about Graham. "You are quite the bad influence on me, Dominic. When I called to tell him about Toni, I got quite the kick out of needling him, almost as much as you do."

"See? And he's got the best reactions when you tease. I think its where my teasing gene came from, actually." He stroked Lionel’s hair, softly, tenderly, playing with it on his belly. It was startlingly dark on his white t-shirt, and he separated the different hairs by color. Some dark, some blond, some red streaks in there too.

"He did. I thought he was going to reach through the phone and strangle me. Not to mention that Shane was screaming into the background and all I did was tell him to remember that big boys didn't cry." He waited a beat. "The police were there as well, when I called. Something about Roddy, but he was in such a tizzy I didn't catch it all."

Dominic froze. The blood drained out of his head and he swallowed a strangled squeak, looking down at his lover. "What?"

"I don't know. I gather that he was trying to contact Lindy, or had, because she was there with Graham, talking to them. He was more worried about Toni and only mentioned it as an afterthought."

He glanced at the clock. It was nearing eleven o’clock, and much too late to call. Graham and his sister were early to sleep early to risers, and the children were already asleep. Damn. "Remind me to call them tomorrow. I don’t know if I can handle any more tragedy, love."

"If you will allow a trade?" Lionel didn't open his eyes. "If you will take care of those two teenagers, then I will deal with Roddy."

Dominic’s eyes darkened, viciously. He was a good man, liked to think of himself as one. He counted his sins and begged forgiveness like everyone else. But this man....this man, Dominic would sacrifice his after peace for the destruction of that man. "He's evil, Lionel. The man is evil, down to the core of it."

"I know that he is, Dominic. From the things you have told me, I know what kind of man he is."

"He hurt my Lindy, he hurt her for having miscarriages." Dominic’s voice was darkly furious, his emotions so out of whack, his heart thumping fiercely in his chest.

"I know," Lionel said softly again, opening his eyes and letting his eyes meet his lover's.

"Graham should have killed him. Should have. But he stayed his hand in pity, and I swear on your head that he wont hurt her again."

"Dominic, you can't. You're more like your brother than you realize; you would not be able to do the things necessary to ensure that." He tilted his head back, just a little. "However, I do."

"Yes, I can." A matter of family pride, and he directed those fierce eyes down at his belly and his lover. "I'll protect her. She's my sister, I wont let anything happen to her ever again."

"That is exactly what your brother said when I said I would take care of things."

If Dominic had had it in him to tease, he would have. Instead he offered a little smile and lay back again, stroking Lionel’s hair once more. He was silent for a long while, watching Jerry and George trying to buy some soup in vain, and changed the topic entirely when he again spoke. "These types of things don’t go away for a long time, Lionel. Whenever you feel like you cant take it anymore, and it'll get to that point with the both of them... come to me. Don’t keep it bottled up."

"I won't." Lionel's fingers were clasped tightly over his belly. "I won't keep it bottled up. I learned from that the last time, and I nearly destroyed myself."

Yes, you did." Dominic’s strokes great softer, over the still slightly damp hair. "The answer never lies at the bottom of the bottle. You know it like I do."

"No, it doesn't. But sometimes, just sometimes, it makes the answer easier to take when you don't have to feel the pain of hearing it."

Lionel sighed. "For me? The fact that I am utterly helpless here to protect my son from anything was much easier to stomach when I couldn't feel."

"Nothing can make this easier, Lionel." Dominic murmured quietly. "I’ve been around for a long time, and seen some truly horrible things. But this... seeing them… it was the worst moment of my life."

"I completely agree with you, little cricket." He closed his eyes. "The worst part... was seeing Lex hold the baby so close, so tight, like the sheer force of his love could bring him back to life. You... can you imagine, watching Lex and knowing that I'd done it myself, those many years ago, and yet be unable to tell him how futile it was simply because he wouldn't believe?"

"I know." Dominic said softly as he gently skimmed is fingertips over Lionel’s forehead, stroking the hair back as he spoke. "I know, lovely. I... I'll never forget down in that lab, and Clark was… he… he was screaming, and Lex wouldn’t let the baby go." Dominic shuddered, hard. "It was out of a nightmare."

"Clark is going to need me," Lionel said quietly. "I believe... I believe he relates to me in some way, because he knows that I understand. He wants to suffer alone--no, more than that, he wants Lex's suffering to stop so they both can be at peace, but he needs someone who will not abandon him."

"I know it." Quietly. "Lex and Clark will need you. The both of them. They relate to you because this has happened to you, you've felt this mind numbing sadness before. Its still so fresh and new for them, love. And I... I have to show them the suffering never stops. It just goes away, becomes bearable. But you never forget. And to be frank, I’m not sure that’s a bad thing."

"I don't know that Lex will listen to me. I think he will listen to you," Lionel said thoughtfully. "Our... relationship is still too newly built, Lex's and mine, for him to believe me or listen to me. I think perhaps he will listen better, coming from you."

"Right." Dominic snorted. Loudly. "Dominic, your son holds me in nothing but contempt, and as an adversary. There’s no way he'd listen to me about anything. He's said it himself, more then once." a slight shake of his head. "He won't, lovely one."

Lionel nodded. "He will. You'll be surprised, Dominic. I think that Lex wouldn't be hurt so easily if he didn't care more than he lets on."

Dominic was quiet for a long moment, fingers in his lovers hair. it was soothing for him, to stroke him just like this, in their bed where it was safe. Nothing bad could ever come here, and he let his eyes close. "He's my son. Not by blood, but it might as well be."

"I know he is, even if he's never acknowledged it." Lionel left his head on Dominic's stomach.

He let his eyes open to stare quietly across the room. His face changed, just a little bit, but he lifted his head from the pillows and gazed at the young man standing in their doorway. He wore long sweats and a t-shirt, and a thick blanket from the bed was wrapped around his body. "Clark?" Dominic asked softly.

Clark shifted, just a little. He'd woken up, thirst clawing at his throat, and had slipped without being seen down the steps. He'd drunk an entire gallon of orange juice in the kitchen, and had come back up to thank the older Luthor. But now that he was standing in the doorway of his bedroom, watching the two men speak, his heart was caught in his throat and his fingers trembled around his blanket.

His back ached with pain but it was manageable now, that he'd slept. And he shifted, carefully, eyes on the floor.

Lionel sat up in bed, and turned around to look at Clark. "Come on in, Clark. Please. Are you... all right?" he said, frowning gently. "I know you're not all right, but... what's troubling you?"

"I... I w.." He took a step in, carefully as to not disrupt the healing, and kept the blanket tightly around him. "I wanted… w-wanted to tell, tell you, thank you." He managed, quietly, eyes still on the floor.

Dominic climbed from the sheets and walked across the bedroom quickly, offering his assistance to the much taller boy as he led him over to sit down on their bed. "Here, sit down, lad. You're in no way able to walk about, yet, what are you doing up?"

Clark shrugged his shoulder, sitting down with a low hiss as he arranged himself, tightening his arms around himself.

Lionel pulled their own blankets up and around the young man, and pushed him back as he kept the blankets tucked in. "Clark, you didn't have to come all the way here to tell me that. You're welcome, for anything that I've done to help." He squeezed Clark's shoulder gently, trying to muster a smile for him.

Clark’s moan of pain was soft and he grit his teeth, closing his eyes as he got closer to the older man. He felt compelled to be near him with this, and he shut his eyes, looking down at his lap. "I… I d-d-...d...." He swallowed, hard. "Didn’t w-want to be...be alone." He finally managed, eyes filling with tears. He'd tried, desperately, to be strong, but the room had been so dark and the bed so cold. Lex had left some time ago, no note, no explanation, nothing. And Clark would have been upset over it, if he wasn’t so afraid of what Lex thought of him. And he knew it, knew what Lex must have thought. And the thought of it made him cry harder, bringing the blanket up to his face so he wouldn’t show it.

What was left of Dominic’s heart broke, and he gazed over the young lads head to Lionel. Christ. He reached over and pushed mute on the television, and did the only thing he was really, really good at. He comforted the young man, gently petting his back, pushing his hair from his eyes, and offering kindness.

Lionel flicked his eyes up to Dominic, and then he settled beside Clark. "Sssh... it's okay. You can stay here, Clark. You don't have to be alone." He slid a gaunt arm around Clark's shoulders, hugging him tightly. "It's going to be all right, I promise. I know that it doesn't seem that way right now, but it will be."

"It can never be okay. its not okay. I ruined the honor, its gone, and he won’t ever touch me or look at me again, its gone, he couldn’t even stay in bed with me." Clark sobbed, pressing his body close though he didn’t let go of the blanket wrapped around him like a shield. "The baby is gone and he is gone and now I have no one. I can't tell my parents, I can't tell anyone but you and Mr. Dominic and I can’t, I c-can’t, I..."

"Shh… shh, lad." Dominic’s own heart was broken in chunks, and he stroked Clark’s hair away from his eyes, deeply hurt by the child’s hurt words. "Shh, shhh, it'll be alright. Lex loves you, Clark."

Lionel's eyes closed as he hugged Clark. "Lex... is hurting too, Clark. Just like you. He's just dealing with it in a different way. But he loves you, of that I'm sure. He's defied me time and again to be with you; he loves you." He kept his arms tightly around the boy's shoulders. "He loves you, Clark."

"The honor is gone. He was with me, he gave me the baby, he expected me to keep him okay until h-he was born, and now its gone, its gone and he'll hate me." Clark couldn’t cry any more. He couldn’t. "He is so sad, I feel it in our link, he is so sad, so very sad and angry and I don’t.... I can’t, I don’t want him to feel that way and it won't STOP, no matter what I tell him, no matter what I give him." He looked up, shaking as he met Lionel’s eyes. "I broke him, and he won’t be okay."

"He doesn't hate you." He looked at Dominic again, and then back down to Clark. "Do you want me to go and get him for you? Let him know that you need him right now?" Lionel stroked Clark's hair gently. "You didn't break my son; I don't think that Lex can break."

"No." Clark shook his head. So tired, and he rubbed the tears on his blanket. "I drank all your juice. Don’t be mad."

"You can have all the juice you want, Clark. You need to drink. Your body needs to replace it's nutrients." Lionel's eyes hardened slightly. "Lex needs to be told that what he is doing is hurting you, Clark."

"He is not hurting. He is my aushna', Lionel, he does not hurt me. I am so worried for him, so worried. I'll be okay, but Oakenep-El is so gentle. He is gentle, a gentle spirit. He is broken." Clark whispered it quietly, and struggled to get out of the bed. "I must sleep."

"Stay where you are," Lionel commanded softly. "You can sleep here. We don't mind. You don't need to be alone."

Dominic was silent, all through Clark’s speech. His decision was made… he had to talk to Lex. Sit him down and let the lad break down the way he needed to. And Dominic was very close and personal with breaking down. At Lionel’s words, and Clark struggling to sit up, he blinked and zoned back in, nodding fiercely. "Clark, its perfectly alright. Our bed is more than big enough, you’re welcome. Lay back down, lad, go to sleep. You need it."

"But it is yours." Clark said firmly. "Where you are yourselves. I cannot impose."

"Lie down, Clark," Lionel said, just as firmly. "You are not leaving. You don't need to be alone, Lex is working down in his lab with Bruce, you can stay here, with us."

He was exhausted. So tired. The walk had tired him, and living without his powers...it exhausted him. The constant need to keep them at bay was gone, but replaced with a bone deep weariness that prompted him to lay back, and tremble softly as he finally closed his eyes. "Thank you." He whispered softly.

Dominic nodded, softly, and finally slipped his glasses from his face, folding them and setting them on his night table for the next time he forgot to wear them. He simply lay back beside Clark, on is side, and gazed at his lover over Clarks body.

"You're welcome," Lionel answered back softly, watching Clark lay back, and then turning onto his side. He met Dominic's gaze with his own as he stroked the boy's hair calmingly. "One of the two of us is going to have to talk to Lex, in the next twenty minutes, and at the moment, I think it would be better if it were you."

"I know it." Dominic answered quietly, as the young man between them’s breath went quiet and his body relaxed with sleep. "I’m almost afraid of what I'll find."

"To be honest with you, Dominic... I am too." He looked down, at Clark, and then back up. "Seeing as how this is what I did to his mother, I simply cannot imagine anything taking Lex away from his lover like this. Especially in this situation."

"He's scared. He inherited that from you." A soft stroke over his lovers hand. "You pull away and close off when you're scared. Your son does the same." He sat up, slowly, as to not jostle the young man, and stepped on the cold floor again. Instead of leaving with just his socks, however, he pulled on a sweat shirt and slippers that sat on his favorite corner chair. There was something about the floor right now that he was comfortable stepping on, anywhere. "I'll be back, my beloved."

"We'll be here." Lionel took the remote control and turned the television back on, keeping it a low, soothing drone, white noise to help ease Clark into a deeper sleep. "If you run into trouble... do call me."

"I will. If you hear a blood curdling scream…" Dominic would have joked, if the joke wasn’t at all truthful. "Come make sure everything is alright, okay?" He turned, and left the room, glancing back once at the sleeping boy and his strong lover.

He left the room, waking quietly down the hall. Lex and Clarks old room had been closed and sealed off, the door locked and the key hidden. It had been bared of everything, furniture burned and everything moved to the bedroom right beside Lillian’s. A cozy room, with a large balcony and a nook with thick, large couches to cuddle in. Dominic planned on going in there to start making it Clark and Lex's again. Put their clothes away, get the large, blue and green bathroom cozy, put in a TV and a radio and all those things that made it theirs. Tomorrow. Right now, he walked down the steps, quietly, rubbing a palm through his blond hair before going down the long hall that led to the lab.

He opened the door, then the hidden door behind the closet, and walked down the steps to the lab.

At the bottom of the steps, the crumpled door had been picked up, but instead of having it moved out of the way, it was back in the doorframe. It was much the worse for wear, having dents and dings in it from where Lex had crumpled it trying to get Clark into the lab, but it was still obviously serviceable.

And when Dominic got to it, he glanced over it and slipped his fingers into the large handle. Pulled. And nothing.

As he looked to the side, there were distinct scorch marks on the side of the door, and places were molten metal had run down the sides.

"Holy shit." Dominic whispered very softly, and instead rapped quietly on the door. "Lex?"

Inside the lab, Lex clearly heard the rapped knuckles and the call of his name, and ignored it.

"Lex, its Dominic. Please, open the door."

"Go away, Dom."

Bruce had shut down. After all day, he'd had to, and was currently asleep in a chair in the office, head on his shoulder and his body uncomfortably splayed. He hadn’t been able to stay awake anymore, after all the horror he'd seen. And he'd seen a lot, in his short life, but nothing could compare to today.

"I’m afraid I can't." Dominic said softly, closing his eyes for a minute. Strength. "Clark is very worried about you. He isn’t sleeping well... he's worried. And I’m worried. Please, Lex."

"Go tell Clark I'm fine." Lex had waited until Bruce had gone to sleep before he'd sealed the lab shut because he'd known Bruce would have tried to stop him. As soon as Wayne woke up, Lex would let him out and reseal the lab.

"I can’t do that, Lex. He knows, because of your link, lad. Just let me in, alright? We..." A soft, deep frown. "We're very worried for you, Lex."

"I'm fine, Dom. I'm working right now. I'll be up when I'm done."

"You’ve been down here for hours, Lex." Dominic sat down on the cleaned step and rubbed both hands through his hair with a heavy sigh. "I know you’re not fine. You know you're not fine. Everyone knows you’re not fine, and lying about it is not going to do you any good. So let me the bloody hell in and talk to me. Stop being this way."

Lex clicked off the light source of the electron microscope, walked over the door, and very calmly wrenched the entire thing out of the doorjamb again.

Dominic jerked his upright and quickly got to his feet. Oh, thank God. But oh, Lex had scared him. He gazed at the young man for several long moments, holding a steel door that, if he remembered correctly, had taken eight men to install. And he swallowed. "Hi."

"Either come in or leave."

Dominic slipped past Lex then, at that moment, and turned to look at him. Scared? Maybe just a little.

Lex calmly wrestled the door back into place, soldering it with quick shots from his eyes. Then he turned back to Dominic, pushed silently past him, and sat back down in front of the microscope.

"Can you tell me why, exactly, it is that you’ve molded the door in place, Lex?" the lab had been melted and bleached clean... he could still smell it. He could hear Bruce snoring softly in the office, and simply took the stool in front of Lex.

"Because I have work to do, and I don't need the constant interruptions." He put his eyes back on the eyepiece and flicked the lights on. "I've got a week's worth of embryonic calculations to take care of in a few day's time."

"Embryonic what?" Dominic looked at the stethoscope, and saw a spec of something, very smell, and passed his eyes back up to Lex. Get him talking. Keep him thinking.

"Embryonic calculations. Mapping out the extant DNA and genome sequences, checking the chromosomal sequences for disruption, and preparing a rough gene map for the fertilization. Once I finish the calculations, I'll know half of the zygotic makeup and which genes and chromosomes to match with my father's for compatibility."

Dominic’s heart stopped, and pattered heavily. Lex was doing this… now? After... after today? Dominic leaned forward, just a little, to catch his step sons gaze. He knew exactly what the lad was doing, because Lionel had done it to him more times then he could remember. "Lex? Its okay."

Lex deliberately didn't meet his gaze.

"Its okay." Dominic said it again, softly. "Its okay to fall apart, now. You’ve been so strong all day, my love. Its alright to cry. Its okay to let the walls down. You don’t have to be strong all the time, no one expects it of you."

"I'm not going to fall apart, Dom. I have a lot of work to do, and I have Clark to take care of. I'm the only one who knows anything about his physiology, maybe even more than he does. I'm going to have to get him back down here in a couple of days to make sure that everything is healing all right inside."

"Work can wait." Dominic said firmly. "I know what you’re doing. Your father used to do it to me all the time, even when he thought I didn’t realize. Lex, you don’t have to keep everything bottled inside. There are people who are here, who love you. Clark will be alright for a few days, and your work can wait."

"No, it can't wait." Lex didn't take his eyes from the microscope. "I won't let what happened to Clark and I happen to anyone else. My work won't wait"

"Yes, it will. Lex, our child can wait. He, or she, has waited this long, and they'll wait until you're well. Lad, you need... to rest. You’ve been up since the crack of dawn. You need to sleep, now. Get a drink of water, and go to sleep. For your own sanity."

"I did sleep for a few hours."

"Aye, but it was that, a few hours."

"I don't need any more."

"I checked on him." Dominic suddenly said, softly. "For you. When you wanted me to. It was the first time I’d seen him... he would have looked just like you."

Lex nodded wordlessly, and then turned around to look at Dominic. He just met the other man's eyes for a long moment, then turned back around to his microscope.

"I’ve never seen a child as beautiful as him. You know, how some babies are born all wrinkly and ugly? Shay was born like that." He nodded it. "She had one hair atop her head and was screaming before the doctor slapped her heiney. Just screaming right on top of her lungs, and ugly as hell. But Mar'L, he was a lovely child. You should be proud, something so beautiful can come from your ugly mug."

"Mar-El," Lex corrected, not looking back at Dominic. "His name is--was--Mar-El."

"I know it. I can’t pronounce it, not the way you and Clark do." Dominic tipped his head, and set his head on his hand. "What does it mean?"

"Beautiful summer day," Lex answered tonelessly, the pencil in his grip splintering as he spoke. "Because for Clark and I, he was a bright light and warmth in the cold darkness of winter."

"He was. Very much that. And I know it like you do that you'll never forget him, Lex. Those are the things you don’t forget. But the pain, it dulls after a while. You'll be able to remember him without your soul screaming, and you'll never forget the impact he had on your life. Because he was your bright light and warmth in the winter."

Lex looked down at the wood and graphite splinters in his hand, and changed for another pencil. "I will never remember him without my soul screaming, Dom. Every time I remember him, it will be with that hot, searing pain that I felt the instant I felt his body stilling in my arms and I knew that I'd lost him."

"You can't remember him like that, Lex." Dominic murmured. "If everyone remembered the people they lost like that, the world wouldn’t rotate. Death is a part of life, life is a part of death. You were given such a gift when you met your son. Don’t lose sight on that gift. Meeting him has changed your life, because that’s what he was sent to you and Clark to do. Change your life, and give you the gift of what happens when two people who love each other, even two gay men, join in their love."

"You say that like I have a choice." Lex dusted his hands and his desk clean of the pencil shards, and then chose another to finish his notations with.

"No, you do. You do have a choice." Another nod, and Dominic rearranged himself on the stool. The destroyed pencil hadn’t broken out of his radar, and he'd watched Lex retrieve a new one without a word. "You have a very strong choice right now. You could do what your father did. You could drink yourself into oblivion, watch your lover die of a broken heart, and forsake everything and everyone in your life. You could put up a wall of ice around yourself and wallow in your own pain, when help is a hand away."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to Clark."

"That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it."

"Actually, that is what you're talking about." Lex's voice was still toneless as his hand moved rapidly, filling page after page with notes, equations, diagrams and procedures.

"No, its not. I’m talking about you shutting up and shutting off. How many times over the years did you tell me he was a cold blooded bastard? He was cold blooded because he'd shut off, and as much as you hate knowing it, you're my son now. And I’m not letting that fate befall you."

"Dominic, if you want your baby, then let me work now." He studiously ignored everything else that Dominic had said.

"No, Lex. I’m going to be selfish and tell you I don’t want my child in your hands right now." Dominic reached up, and snapped the microscope off, silently. "I don’t want you to work on this when you’re feeling like you do. Its not right. You’re a good boy, and you don’t deserve more pain. I know… I know you’re trying to throw yourself into your work, Lex, but look at yourself lad."

Lex flipped the microscope back on. "Don't touch my equipment." He put his pencil down and looked back at Dominic. "I... am fine."

"Of course you are. That’s why you've broken two pencils in ten minutes, and you’re shaking, and you’re pale, right?"

Lex held his hand out and looked at the small tremors that went through it. "I'm not shaking. And I am always pale."

"You’re shaking. And you're more pale then you usually are." Dominic looked at him, straight in the eye. "Don’t make your fathers mistake. Don’t turn into what he was for so long. I know what’s going on inside of you, and I know what you feel in this instant, my love, because I saw it in your father. Listen to me. I was by his side for almost sixteen years, and nearly two thirds of that was him self destructing. I don’t want that for you."

"I'm not going to turn into my father. But I have work to do."

Dominic had tried. But he'd known whatever he said would be completely ignored, and he sighed softly as he finally stood and tucked his hands into his pockets. "Alright, Lex."

"Dom... thank you though."

"It is a thankless job. I don’t like you as a general rule, but I don’t like you even more when you’ve shut off, my love." Dominic turned and walked into the small office, to check on Bruce. The door to the baby’s room was closed tightly, and Dominic glanced at it before lowering his eyes, crossing himself, and heading once more to the door. "Will you do something for me?"

"It depends on what it is." Lex didn't show the raw flinch of Dominic's words.

But Dominic saw the change in his eyes, and he wasn’t a stupid man. "For better or worse, you are my step son and I love you. I’ve always loved you as my son, and nothing has changed now but for title. But I want you to promise me that you will come upstairs, when you’re ready. Come to your fathers room. Clarks there with us, he was scared to be alone." And that’s all he said, as he turned and walked back up the steps.

Lex reopened the door for him, watched him leave, and then sealed the door back behind Dominic.

Bruce had slept through the whole thing.

~ * ~ * ~

The long hallway was a little too dark for Dominic’s tastes after the blinding white of the lab. He left his young step son alone for the time being, picking his way through the house and back up the steps lit with the softest glow from hanging lamps. The carpet was soft under him and it only made him think of bed.

And when he stopped in the doorway to the bedroom, and saw his lover and Clark, his heart, already a heap in his belly, give a painful kick.

Lionel had fallen asleep against Clark's side, head propped on his hand as he looked down at the boy. His hand rested on Clark's shoulder, offering comfort and tucking the blanket up around Clark's shoulders.

Dominic turned and closed the door again. There was no way he could even BEGIN to disturb that, and he gently walked back down the steps. And as he did this time, he heard a very soft voice weeping down in the small study that adjoined Lex's office. Dominic creaked it open just a little, and peered inside.

And was met with Dick, Whitney, and Chloe, who was crying on her boyfriends shoulder.

Whitney had his arms around Chloe, holding her tightly and rocking her gently. His own face was quiet and subdued, as through everything that had happened hadn't quite penetrated. Which it hadn't, but that was par for the course. All Whitney felt was a horrible, overwhelming sadness and a sense that he'd lost something incredibly important without ever knowing quite what it was.

Dick was sitting on the couch, whiskey bottle in hand, shot glass discarded to the side beside an empty beer bottle. He'd been working on boilermakers for the last half hour, and wasn't even close to drunk.

And Chloe was crying. She hadn’t stopped all day, and here she was, her feet tucked up, her face in her lovers neck. She'd been curled next to him all day, drawing and giving strength. He hadn’t said anything but neither had she.

She felt so old. Like she'd seen something she shouldn’t have, imposed where she should have. Not even Lex, her ashimel, was to be found, and she felt insanely... lost.

"Hullo." Dominic said softly, as he entered and shut the door behind him. These were the three people he needed to talk to. Bruce would never say a word...and neither would Ms. Bird. Those were two certainties Dominic felt very strongly over. But the three children sitting before him were just children, and Dominic walked over to them, taking a seat in the lounger before them.

Whitney looked up as the door opened, and he nudged her gently with his shoulder and nodded towards Dominic. "Hey," is all he said, before putting his cheek back against Chloe's head.

Dick rolled his head to the side. "You, mister... have one hellion of a little sister."

"I know it." Dominic said quietly, toeing off his slippers and pulling his legs up Indian style on the cushions. "Where is she at?"

Chloe sniffled, hard, as her heart kicked. God, he had saved her LIFE. She'd told Whitney everything that had happened, down to the ice, and she rubbed her cheeks to clean the tears away.

"At Pete's new place. They should be comin' back in... bout an hour or so." Dick stared at his watch. "Yeah. Hour or so."

"Good. I need to talk to the three of you." Dominic said softly.

Dick gestured with his bottle. "All ears, man."

Whitney tightened his grip on his girlfriend. "Mr. Senatori... thank you. For... for Chloe. For makin' sure she was okay."

"Of course. Now, I should tell you, I hold your life, and your girlfriends life, in my hands." Dominic said softly, and the weight of it terrified him. Because he knew Lionel. He knew what Lionel was capable of. And he knew Lionel wouldn’t think twice about protecting his family.

"Wha.... what?" Whitney blinked and gripped Chloe harder, making her squeak a little. "what are you talking about?"

Dick shot a glance to Dominic. "You're shittin' me, Dom. He wouldn't?"

"Yes, he would." Dominic turned his gaze on Dick for just a moment, before looking back to the two on the couch.

"What?" Chloe was trembling, just a little bit. What was he talking about? Something was happening and she didn’t understand, and she gripped her lover tightly.

"Bruce'd have an almighty fit!" Dick yelled. "His whole thing with B--with the Gotham Home and everything is protecting people!"

"Yes." Dominic said softly, ignoring the young man for just a moment as he turned his eyes on Whitney and Chloe. "Young Mr. Kent is not of this planet. Today, he woke up feeling strange... until the strangity grew into pain, and the pain into labor pains. And he gave birth, and exactly ten thirty eight this morning. The child wasn’t developed, and he died." His heart lurched as he spoke. "In an effort to protect his son and young Clark, Mr. Luthor was going to have you killed. I pled for your lives, and now they are mine, to protect. But if either of you ever speak of this, ever, ever again, with anyone, you will both be killed. Are we clear?"

Whitney.... was just stunned. Beyond belief. "He... us? Us? But... but... we're Clark's friends. We're Lex's friends!" It was the most he'd spoken.

Dick shook his head. "No, no, don't even worry. Bruce won't let it happen. No way."

"Yes." Don’t cry, Dominic. "I know. But this secret...if it were ever to get out, the lives of everyone in this household will be destroyed. Clark and Lex will suffer immeasurable pain by the people of science and military, and you know it like I do. Everyone you know, every life Clark or Lex have touched, will be ruined. Its a burden we all must keep, a secret we must never divulge. And you three... you are so young. You don’t deserve this, but horrid things happen to the young, and there’s nothing we can do but hold it close and move on."

Dominic turned his gaze at Dick. "Bruce knows the implications of this secret more then all of us, Dick."

Dick shook his head. "Bruce has got a way with secrets, yeah, but no way he'd let Lionel get away with that." He glared at Dominic, and then over at Chloe and Whitney.

Whitney nodded. "Yeah. I don't... I wouldn't do anything to hurt Clark or Lex. He's--they're both--my friends. I'm not saying anything."

"Never, never ever." Chloe agreed shakily, her fingers clamped around Whitney’s waist as she gazed at the older man. He looked so sad, and it just made HER sad, and she buried her face back into Whitney’s shoulder.

"I know you both never would. I don’t know you well, but I know you're good kids." Dominic said softly, accepting Dick's glare because he knew what he'd just said. "He's scared, Dick. You can’t know what we saw when we went into that bathroom, you could never know how we feel right now. You can’t understand how protective we are of them, how deeply this has hurt him. Hurt me. So please... don’t judge. You can do it any other day, but don’t do it now."

Whitney looked at Chloe and then at Dominic. "I don't... you mean he'd kill us?"

Dick looked at Dominic. "Look, Dom. I cleaned the fuckin' shit up. I got Chloe's phone call when she called Bruce to hook up with Lex. I caught your sister's shit and kept her away from the house so she and Pete didn't see shit." He slammed the whiskey bottle down. "I seen a lot of my own shit, Dom, I seen my parents shot down and seen my brother layin' broken and lifeless at the bottom of a fuckin' circus big top. So… Yeah. I've seen more people die'n I ever want to, and I ain't, and Bruce ain't, gonna let Lionel do a goddamn thing to these kids."

So much anger in this young man, and Dominic tipped his head. "And neither will I. I won't allow any one else to be killed over this tragedy. As for what you’ve seen, Dick, you haven’t had to watch your stepson hold his own new born and talk to him, and watch him start to shake with death. You haven’t had to watch someone hold their son in death. You think I haven’t seen pain? I’ve seen enough pain to last me for the rest of my life. And that’s why Lionel won’t take these two children’s lives, and THAT is why they are under my protection and THAT is why I’m telling you all now that none of what has happened today will leave this house. So don’t talk to me like I don’t understand, and like I don’t know, Mr. Grayson, because I know more then you'd ever think." He said it without a hint of malice but with enough strength to hush the sobbing girl, and turned his eyes back onto Whitney and Chloe. "He'll have to get through me to get to you, Whitney."

Whitney nodded. "Okay. I trust you, Mr. Senatori. We're not ever going to do anything to hurt Clark. I promise." He held Chloe tightly to his chest. "Chloe, it's okay. Mr. Senatori's gonna take care of us."

"Yes, I am." Dominic’s voice was flat, and quiet. He needed a drink so badly, and stood, walking to the small bar and pouring himself a glass of whisky, as he was past shots, and walked back, sitting back on the couch. "I won’t let anyone hurt you." He took a long drink, and it burned all the way down.

Dick studied his own bottle. "Can't believe that bastard wants to kill more people, shit. Not been enough blood?"

"Don’t call him a bastard again, Dick." Dominic said without moving, his head back against the couch cushions and his drink in hand.

"He is a bastard, Dom. If he--"

Whitney's head shot up. "Kill?" That was the first time it'd been more than just implied, and his grip tightened on Chloe again. "you mean... like, dead?"

"He won’t kill you, Whitney. Chloe. I would never allow that to happen." Dominic said quietly. His tone was almost dead, and the full weight of what had happened today was falling on him. He looked up at Dick, staring at him for a long moment. "My husband is not a bastard. Don’t say it again, Dick. Because I’m not at all opposed to bashing my fist through your face, as young as you are. He's scared shitless, because we have a dead baby downstairs, Clark is in agony, Lex is mute, and unspeakable tragedy on our hearts. Another dead child, and he can’t take it. So don’t you ever judge someone like that ever again, when you don’t know."

Whitney looked up at that. "Can... can we... can we see Clark?" He rested his cheek against Chloe's hair. "We... we haven't seen him. Today. We... just want to make sure he's... well, close to okay. He's... please. We need to see him."

"Not now. He's asleep in our bed. Tomorrow, if he'll see you. if not, you'll have to wait until he's ready." He answered, taking another long drink of the hard whiskey.

Whitney swallowed hard. "You don't get it. I--we can feel how horribly sad he is, and we just... literally want to see him and make sure he's not dead."

"He's not dead. He's laying with Lionel… he's not dead. But you..." Dominic swallowed, hard, because he was a sucker for soft eyes and begging words. Dammit. He sighed, softly, rubbing a palm over his face, and nodded. "Just for a minute. You can't go in, but you can see him. Come on."

Whitney grabbed Chloe's hand tightly in his, and helped her up. "We won't wake him up. Promise."

Dominic climbed to his feet, but turned to gaze down at Dick for a moment. "I’m sorry for losing my temper, lad. You don’t deserve it." He nodded a little at him, and sighed as he walked to the door.

Chloe swallowed, deeply, shaking as she gripped her boyfriend tightly. She couldn’t feel Clark as well as Lex. but what she did terrified her. What Dominic had just SAID terrified her. Clark was... was an alien? He'd had a baby? A baby? She shook as she gripped him, heart in a war as she followed Dominic wordlessly up the steps.

"S'okay, I'd prob'ly do the same thing if somebody insulted Bruce." He lifted his bottle in salute.

Whitney gripped Chloe's hand again. He didn't know why it wasn't freaking him out, but it wasn't. It really wasn't. He was... he was okay with it all, as long as Clark was okay.

He'd known from the beginning that Clark was special and this was just an easy adjustment to make in his thinking. "Thanks, Mr. Senatori."

"Yup." And without another word, Dominic carefully opened the bedroom, where his lover and Clark were on the bed. He lowered his voice, to a low whisper. "He's been asleep for a while."

And he had been. That is, until he felt his life friends close. Clark opened his eyes and turned his head, just a little, wearily gazing at the two of them. He was so exhausted, but he had to see them, feel them close. It always helped.

Whitney and Chloe stood outside the door, and then, when he saw Clark turn over towards them, he smiled. "Go back to sleep, Clark," he said softly, wearily. "We just wanted to see you."

Clark didn’t say anything. He wasn’t ready for this, and seeing Whitney and Chloe, standing here in fear, fear of HIM, knowing that they knew his secret, he felt the need for modesty again. No matter how much he was covered he covered himself more, with the blankets he could barely move on his own, pulling them over his chest and nodding.

Whitney looked up at Dominic. "You.. he's awake, can I?" He nodded towards his friend.

Dominic nodded quietly, at the both of them, and stepped into his bedroom, leaving the way open for them.

Clark pressed his cheek into the pillow, covering himself more. His life-friends were such good people, they were his friends, but he felt… he... he wanted to hide, to hide somewhere, and swallowed the whimper. They were his friends, his FRIENDS.

Whitney swallowed hard as he walked into the bedroom. He didn't say anything until he got to the side of the bed beside Clark, and then he crouched down to his eye level. "Hey, Clark... worried about you, man."

Clark couldn’t let himself look, just pulling himself closer to Lionel. He gazed at the sheets instead, nodding just a little bit, trembling just a little. He couldn’t bear to meet Whitney’s steady gaze, let him see what a coward he was.

Whitney didn't move. "Hey... it's okay. You don't have to be afraid of me, Clark." He kept his voice quiet; this was the first time he'd felt like talking since... this morning.

He shook his head, pulling the blankets closer. More, cover himself up. he felt bared, as if he were lounging naked right now, and he shuddered as goosebumps flew over him. "I... n-no... not afraid."

Lionel woke at the trembles that shot through Clark, and he felt Clark crowding closer to him. "Mr. Fordman, might I ask what you're doing here, in my bedroom, harassing Clark?"

Whitney jumped, shocked. He hadn't seen Lionel waking up. "Mr. Luthor! I didn't--I mean, I was just... we were..." He was stammering, visions of a very gory death flickering through his mind. "Sorry, we just... wanted to see Clark."

"I let them up." Dominic said quietly, from the door. Chloe still hadn’t come in, and she was cowered behind Dominic’s back.

Clark felt his Ashimel’s fear and reached a hand out. A single touch, from long fingers to a soft face, was enough to give his friend peace and understanding. He took his palm back in the next moment and pressed his face into the pillows.

Whitney calmed as Clark touched him gently, and his eyes sought out Clark as his face turned away. Instead, Whitney put a gentle, soothing hand on Clark's hair, trying to give him reassurance.

"I think it's time for them to leave," Lionel said firmly.

"Do not make them leave." Clark said softly, and he very softly rose, groaning in pain as he reached out. His friend, the touch had told him how he worried, and Clark needed his friend. He needed him, desperately, and he hugged him softly.

But right now, he couldn’t handle either of them. Tomorrow, after he buried his child, but not now. Now he needed the rest, for his son to be buried the proper way, with ritual and faith. "Come see m... m... m-me, tomorrow?"

Whitney hugged Clark back tightly as he could. "You know we will." He rubbed his cheek against Clark's. "You tell me when, and we'll be here. Me'n Chloe both, okay?" He didn't let go. "We're gonna let you rest, and we need showers. But we'll come back tomorrow, okay?"

"Do… don’t forget me." Clark whispered, until the pain of him being in this position hurt too much and he had to lay down again. His face was a horrible shade of pale, his eyes glassy, and he covered himself again with tears in his eyes. "Thank you."

"We're not gonna forget you, Clark." Whitney was very aware of Lionel's eyes on him, and he dropped a quick kiss on Clark's shoulder. "Not gonna, I promise." Then he rubbed his friend's pale skin lightly. "You're welcome."

"L-l-l… lo-love you." Clark whispered, so quietly, chin trembling as he looked up at him.

Whitney gave a small smile at that. "I love you too, Clark." He stroked Clark's hair lightly again, and then straightened to his full height. "I'm sorry we disturbed you."

Clark shook his head, pressing closer to Lionel as he let his eyes fall and his breath go even again. It was almost as if he was physically calmed by his friend, and he fell into a deep, quiet sleep, breathing in and out a little better then before.

Lionel's hand pulled the blanket up over Clark's shoulder, and tucked it in gently. "Mr. Fordman, I appreciate your concern for Clark, and seeing as how he's sleeping more soundly, I thank you for that, but I do think it's time for you to go."

Whitney nodded. "Yes, sir. Mr. Luthor." He backed slowly out of the room, not sure that he should turn his back on Lex's father.

Dominic saw it, and his eyes grew dead as he gently hooked a hand under Whitney’s elbow, in reassurance, and led him and Chloe out of the room. "Come on. I'll have Enrique take you both home."

"I've got my truck," Whitney protested. "I can drive us."

"Are you certain?" Dominic asked quietly.

"Yeah, I think so. I think I can make it to Chloe's house and then mine without... You know, losing my mind." His voice wasn't at all as sure as his words, though.

"Indeed. Enrique will drive you home... and I'll have him take you the truck tomorrow morning, okay?" Dominic asked softly. "I need to do some things before it gets much later… can you find the door alright, lad?"

Chloe, as silent as she'd ever been, snuggled under her boyfriend’s arm and hid.

Whitney nodded. "Yeah. I think so." He looked down at Chloe, and snuggled her close. "We'll be okay, Mr. Senatori."

"I want you to call the mansion as soon as you get here. I'll pick up, so don’t be worried about getting anyone else. Have you got the number?"

"Yeah. It's written down at my house and I know it's in Chloe's cell phone." He stroked her hair as he talked.

"Good. Call as soon as you get there."

Chloe reached up, hugged the older man, and kissed him on the cheek. Just. Cause. "Thank you." She whispered, before hiding back under her boyfriend’s arm, keeping her fingers firmly tight.

Dominic softened, just a little, and hugged back gently before letting go. "Its alright. Go on, the pair of you."

"I will. Promise." Whitney held her tightly against him as they started walking out. "Come on, baby. Let's go." Oddly he felt calmer now that Clark did, and he was able to function. "Come on."

Lionel watched it all while keeping a protective hand on Clark's shoulder. "You have my word that I wouldn't touch them, Dominic," Lionel said softly. "You don't have to test it."

"Good night, Whitney." Dominic waited until they were walking down the steps before sending a flashed, heated gaze at his lover, and turning away in that same moment. "I wasn’t testing it. They wanted to see him, and I wasn’t going to deny them that. They went through a lot today, and helped without a word."

"I meant having them call once they got home to check in."

"No..." Dominic shook his head. "How little you think of yourself, and of me. I want them to call because its snowing, its midnight, and the young man has the shakes."

Lionel dropped his gaze then. "I'm sorry, Dominic. I just assumed, because I knew it upset you."

"Don’t assume. You gave me your word, and I didn’t question it." Dominic slid into bed beside Clark, sleeping now, and gazed at the ceiling.

Lionel reached over the sleeping boy to touch his lover's cheek. "I am sorry."

"I know." Dominic didn’t move, but accepted the soft touch... finally looking over at him for a long moment.

"I don't mean to disappoint you, Dominic." His fingertips stroked lightly. "I just want to protect them."

"I know you do." Dominic turned his face into the gently stroking fingers. "I know who I married. It just scares me, sometimes. I don’t want you to turn into that type of man... I don’t want you to be that type of man, but what I want is of little significance." A moment. "I’m going to call the therapist and tell her I need more then two hours this week." A soft wince. "I forgot to tell you... I tore the carpet up in Clark and Lex's old bedroom. I ripped it up, foam and everything."

That won a small smile from Lionel. "Do you think we could persuade her to clear the entire week?" He met his lover's eyes. "I do... what I think is necessary. That's why I have you." Lionel nodded. "It's quite all right; I'm sure it was necessary, considering the size of the blood puddles."

"There was so much." He said it softly, and his own eyes went vague and blank with sadness and horror as he looked off at nothing. "As for the therapy, I have an appointment Thursday and Saturday. I'll add an hour to Thursday." A soft shrug, and he pulled the blankets up. Clark was still wrapped in the one from his bed, and curled under the blankets as well, and yet his skin was pasty and cool. So much blood loss, and Dominic covered him up gently, rubbing his hair from his eyes in a distinctly fatherly movement. "Should we contact Martha and Jonathan?"

Lionel shook his head. "No. He made me promise not to contact them, and against my better judgment, I agreed for his peace of mind."

Dominic nodded, and let himself finally rest against the pillows. "I’m so tired."

"You have had the worst of it; you were in charge of everything." He stroked Dominic's cheek gently. "I'm sorry I abandoned you to do the work."

He shrugged. He'd done it for so long it had become clockwork, and simply said, "There was no one else."

"I should have been there to help you. Instead I drank myself into a stupor for hours."

"It was your right to. He's your son, and Clark is... Clark." He didn’t want to label the boy and scare his lover, so simply glossed over it and kept going. "You had every right to. How's your head, by the way?"

Lionel shook it gently. "Manageable." His fingertips didn't stop their stroking. "And it was still no excuse."

"Yes, it was. It was easy to clean up... Dick, Chloe, Whitney and Ms. Bird helped. We burned whatever Clarks blood touched, and bleached what we couldn’t burn."

Lionel was quiet for a long moment. "Dominic... does Lex... have Clark's... special abilities?"

"Yes." Quietly. "Clark gave them to him. He... he froze over the lab, when a fire down there went out of control. I don’t think Clark could handle them, Lionel."

"Froze over?" Lionel's hand lingered on Dominic's cheek. "You mean with ice?"

"With ice. He saved my life, as well as Chloe's." Dominic said it softly, his voice a quiet monotone. He was so tired, and so sad. All he wanted was his warm bed and rest. And knew it would elude him tonight.

"Do you want to sleep in another room, Dominic? I understand if you don't want to sleep in the same bed with Clark, but I simply won't abandon him." He touched his lover's throat softly. "Or you can sleep on my side."

"I won't be sleeping tonight, Lionel." Dominic said quietly. "I don’t mind Clark. I slept in a bed with Megan and Riley until I was eighteen." A soft shrug, as he tried to calm himself down after the day. "I don’t want to disturb you. Ms. Bird lay out the whiskey before she went to sleep."

"You're not disturbing me, Dominic. And I don't think you'll disturb Clark. Why don't you take a hot bath, soak your aches away, and then come back to bed with me."

"Nothing can soak these aches away, Lionel." He said it quietly, but he knew when he was being asked something. He rolled out of bed and padded silently around the enormous bed, crawling in beside his lover.

Lionel turned onto his back, so that Clark lay calm and sleeping on one side of him, and Dominic lay on the other. He pulled his lover in close to him, tucking Dominic against his side and fitting his lover to his own body. "Thank you."

"Its alright." He lay close, letting Lionel get him close, and took his hand. But didn’t make any move to get closer. He wasn’t feeling very cuddly right now... all he wanted to do was be left alone by the world so he could cope with this. But his lover needed him, and Dominic knew it. So he turned on his side, laying his cheek on Lionel’s shoulder and his arm around his waist, and let himself a little closer.

Lionel wanted to reassure his lover, but the words wouldn't come. He knew, that Dominic needed time to himself, but he was just selfish enough to need his lover more. The only concession he could make was yet another apology. "I'm sorry, for being a selfish old man."

"I’m sorry for being a standoffish young man." Dominic said back, closing his eyes as he pulled Lionel a little closer.

"You're not. I know... you need time to yourself. We all do. And you haven't had it yet, that I've seen. I'm sorry."

"Don’t be." Dominic said it, firmly. "I'll be fine. I’ve had lots of experience in coping, Lionel. Go to sleep now, rest. I'll be here in the morning."

"I know you will be." Lionel turned his head to look down at his lover. "I have faith."

"I’m glad." because I don’t. "Shh. Sleep now, beloved. You need it… I know your head still hurts. I'll keep an eye on Clark for you."

"You need to sleep too," Lionel said firmly. "I'll feel if Clark wakes up again."

"I can't sleep, Lionel." He couldn’t. He was so tired, but there was just...there was no way he could rest. Not now. Someone might need him, and he couldn’t be asleep when he was called on, and even saying it in his head he knew it was a lie. He couldn’t sleep, because every time he closed his eyes he saw Clark and Lex in the shower with their infant son.

Or the horrible mental image of his lover having two teenagers killed because they knew.

So he just shook his head and looked off into the distance again, eyes at half mast.

"If you don't sleep, I'll sedate you myself," Lionel threatened.

A slight shake of his head. "I'll try." it was better then saying no again, and he simply glanced at Clarks back, making sure the lad was alright.

Lionel couldn't apologize one more time; it just wasn't in him. "Goodnight, little cricket. Promise me you'll sleep."

"Good night, Lionel."

 

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