Chapter 144: The Ivy On the Walls
The shower had stunk.
He didn't know what it had been-some new flowery stuff that Lex had bought, but the whole bathroom smelled like roses and lilies and Irish spring. And it was wrong.
The whole bathroom was wrong. All of it. It wasn't maroon, it wasn't crusted in soft gold. It was green, with ivy on the walls, stenciled into the stucco. The carpets were wrong...everything was silver.
It wasn't the bathroom where Lex had first washed him. It wasn't the place they'd made love... it wasn't the place where many cuddly bubble baths had taken place. There hadn't been any love here, in the most private of places where they were at their most tender and close and away from the prying eyes of the world.
He stood there, before the long, wall to wall mirror that sat before the double, luxurious sinks crusted in that same soft green icy design and shiny silver. Long, slender pajama bottoms and a sleeveless white t-shirt, which hugged sharp angles and a hard belly.
Something inside of him had snapped while they were eating dinner with Lionel and Dominic. Or maybe it was when the screaming had started upstairs, that had made Lex roll his eyes around and Clark's heart tighten. Couldn't really name when it happened, but he'd felt it each step up the stairs to their bedroom, which was so, so slowly becoming home. The need to rid himself, of anything, even his own life, was violent and singing in his head.
He wasn't scared. Not at all. Calm, composed, and quiet, which was opposed directly to the war of his mind.
A blue pair of scissors lay in the cup of his palm. The drops of water from his shower still peppered his caramel skin.
Quit trying to understand or cope with the hand he'd been dealt.
Learned helplessness.
Not anymore.
He had long, curly hair. It had grown, curling over his forehead and down his collar over his neck. Lovely chestnut shade of hair, golden in the sun, with just a hint of red in the moonlight.
It kinked sometimes, but Chloe just ran her fingers through it and giggled, because he had character.
Lex would grip it and arch up, hard, under his body. Said it made him desirable.
His mother was always after him to cut it, even though she said he was cute as a button with it.
He brought the scissors up, grasped one of the drying brown locks, and sawed through it.
The long lock fluttered down to come to a rest on the sink, and he gazed up at his reflection in the mirror. Different. The angles of his face seemed different without the constant shadow of hair. Epiphany. The opposite of Sampson; didn't need his hair to be strong.
Long locks of dark hair fell over his shoulders as he cut them. Couldn't even open the scissors, just sawing through each strand with them closed, the sharp edge up. If he'd been human his hands would have been ribbons, but as it was all he chopped through was his hair. Fell in clumps, everywhere, everywhere around him. And with each lock that was cut, he felt the weight he'd been carrying, the hard, agonizing weight of loss so deep and so private, of a loss ripped open for the world to see, close. Fall off of his heart, and into the pit of his belly where it would always remain. Flushing out of his head and out of his soul, flowing out of the tips of his choppy, sheered locks.
Short. So, so, short. Tears fell down his cheeks with each shorn strand, with each yank and cut.
The shower hadn't been theirs. The bathroom was new. The bathtub was foreign.
But he'd be damned if he'd start out, in this new place, carrying the baggage from before.
Tears stroked down his cheeks as he let go
Lex had sent Clark upstairs to shower first, with the promise of joining him as soon as he'd cleared the dishes from the table.
He just hadn't wanted to be upstairs with the screaming. Really. Parent having sex, okay. Parent and step-parent being vocal about it? Not okay. He and Ms. Bird had cleared off the table, the sweet lady haranguing him the entire time about not having eaten a bite. Just as he thought he'd escape unscathed... his father had appeared with semen samples.
That thought was enough to make him crave that shower with Clark. But, by the time he'd gotten the samples safely stored in the lab, frozen in the miniature cryogenic tank made especially for this, nearly forty five minutes had passed, and he knew that Clark would be out of the shower, and he sighed. Maybe he could lure his lover back into his.
The closer he got to the top of the stairs, the more he started to feel... a sense of urgency, almost franticness, at the same time he felt quiet despair. Lex picked up his pace, jogging and then flat-out running up the last few steps and down the hallway, towards the bedroom he shared with his lover. "Clark?" he called out, pushing the door open and running through it to the bathroom.
As he got to the bathroom door, and pushed it open, he caught a glimpse of the full-wall mirror.
Then, before he could help himself, his eyes dropped to the floor, to all the soft, dark curls that had been shorn from his lover's head. "Oh, Clark." Lex closed the bathroom door quietly as he could, leaning against it. The long hair that he'd loved to run his fingers through was gone, and in it's place, a short, almost paramilitary buzz cut. He crouched on the floor, picking up a handful of the curls in his hand, and then straightened up, dusting his hands of the hair and putting his hands on his lover's shoulders.
Didn't say a word. Barely heard his lover as he gazed into the mirror. It had been so dark underneath all of it, couldn't get enough light underneath it.
The curls were so short, all different lengths and it looked horrible. But he could see. And that was the important part. he could see now, he had let the pain out of him, and it was almost a symbolic ritual. One he knew he'd have eventually had to do, whether it was a loss of limbs, a loss of vanity, something. Memories, very vague memories of his father, with short hair and a bared face that had slowly grown back into his full mane and beard. He remembered it and this was right. It felt right. It felt... good.
It had to go. He couldn't start his life over, dragging the baggage from Before. The Before wouldn't follow him into the Now. And since there was nothing he could do about the Now, other than cope, love, remember and live on, he had to let the Before go somehow.
And this was the somehow.
His eyes finally met Lex's as the scissors clattered to the floor, and he didn't speak a word.
Lex didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around Clark and hugged him tightly. He knew better than to ask or to question, he just had to accept. His arms were tight around Clark's neck, face buried against a shoulder that was scratchy with cut and shorn hair.
He couldn't hug back yet, so he just dropped his face to Lex's head, pressing his cheek against his lovers naked skull. "I had to. I know how you loved it. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. If you had to do it, then it's okay with me." He straightened his head, just a little bit. "It's..." He swallowed hard. "It's a little uneven in the back. You... you want me to help you even it up?"
"I-Its a little uneven everywhere." He choked it and nodded, getting the stool out from under the long counter and sitting in it. His fingers viced around themselves, hands linked tightly as he kept his back straight, still watching the mirror. Every lock of his hair had been sheered close to his skull, so each lock was short and overlapping all of the other ones. He'd never had it this short but that was okay, because it would grow out again. New, and different. Different was what he needed. Couldn't hide under his tears and his hair anymore, and he felt exposed... strong.
And because God had to be working on his side, he glanced to the side and smiled, very softly, at Samsons blinking brown eyes. "Hi, baby. C'mere."
Samson padded into the room, snuffling at the stuff on the floor. It smelled like the Clark, but it used to be attached. Maybe he was shedding, like Samson shed, when it got too hot to have all the fur.
"C'mere, baby. You're getting so big." Clark reached down and pulled his little puppy, who wasn't so little anymore, into his lap, snuggling him close. "My baby. I missed you the last few days."
Samson snuffled Clark's chest, wiggled close, and licked his chin. Didn't know where the Cleo and the Artie were, but he'd been 'sploring. "Whuff!" he barked softly, and tugged at Clark's shirt with his teeth.
"Shhh. Shhh, lay down, kay?" He couldn't really look at his lover, as he bent down and retrieved the blue scissors, his throat working silently as he offered them without looking. Didn't say anything else, and didn't have it in him to explain, because his lover was in his heart and he'd eventually see. Just closed his eyes and hugged Samson softly.
Lex took the scissors and shifted them until they were comfortable in his left hand. "I really should call Rico and Aden. Aden is the one who really knows hair." But as he spoke, he opened the blades of the scissors, and went to work. Each snip caused another curl or another handful of hair to fall, and it nearly broke his heart.
Samson whined softly and kept chewing on Clark's shirt, snuggling into the warm hug and laid his head on Clark's arm.
Clark felt it in his soul and he looked down at Samson as he spoke very, very quietly. "I had to, Lex. I have to start new. I have to. I can't go back to the way it was before. It has to be new, a fresh start. Can you understand that? I can't be like I was before. I can't. I won't make it. Have to start new, Lex. Have to take the past off, away, and start new."
"I understand, Clark. It just breaks me to know that there's nothing I can do to help you." Lex didn't stop cutting; Clark had butchered his hair, cutting it off, and it was taking more than a few little snips to fix it. He swept his hands through Clark's hair, pulling out the hair already cut and dusting it off into the floor as he kept cutting.
"This helped." He couldn't look at his lover directly so he looked into the mirror, where his lover stood above him. "This helped."
It had. But he couldn't talk anymore about it, as his lover swept through his hair to fix it, And he just rested his cheek against Samsons head, snuggling him close to his body as he heard the whines and yips from his other babies.
He brought his fingers to his head, tentatively, and stroked silently through the shorn hair... the shaky, new feeling of letting go. it threaded through his heart and made it beat shakily, and he hoped his lover would be done. Wanted to sleep, wanted to rest.
HELLOOOO The Cleo was HERE! She nosed the bathroom door and her ears bopped against her legs as she stuck her nose in the air, trotting demurely in like the little lady she was. Tossed her ears a little bit and barked cheerfully, as she thudded into Lex's legs.
"I'll be done in a few minutes," Lex choked out softly. "There's just a little more work to do at the back here." He pulled Clark's hand back to where the curls were still longer and a little thick. "I have to get rid of this so it matches everywhere. Tomorrow morning, I'll call Rico. Aden will come in the afternoon, after school, and get this finished out."
Samson didn't even move as the other hims came in, just left his head laying on Clark's arm, and every now and then giving a soft, plaintive howl. "OOooooOooooooo."
Artie followed behind Cleo, and his butt thumped down on the floor, head laying on Clark's knee. He just couldn't drag that big ol' puppy butt any further today.
Lex looked down at Cleo as she banged into his leg. "Hello, little princess. I'm glad to see you too."
She beamed up at him. yeah. She had pooped Artie and Sammy out, but she was still ready for more!!! ...Okay, maybe just some water and her Sleepy with her bruders, so she plopped down and gave a big cracking yawn, sighing in happiness. Finding the Lex was definitely a plus, here.
Clark… he just nodded, staring at the full length mirror silently. Didn't say much, but he wanted his lover. He wanted his lover right now. He wanted a bath and sex and claiming this place as their own. And tomorrow, tomorrow they could go to Metropolis after he got off of work and buy things that made these three rooms, their bedroom, the library and sitting room adjoining it, and the bathroom... their own. Tomorrow. But right now all he wanted was to take a long, warm bubble bath with his lover and to have him be so deep inside.
He just didn't know how to ask.
Desperation had brought them here, and love would take them back out.
Lex finished with the scissors and raked his hands through what was left of Clark's hair, sending the last cloud of hair wafting to the floor. "There we go. That's done." He put the scissors on the bathroom counter, and blew softly over Clark's head, blowing off the last stray hairs. "There. How's that?" He dropped his hands to Clark's shoulders as he got on his knees behind him. His head rested against Clark's shorn one, and he watched Clark in the mirror.
Samson sneezed once as he got a noseful of hair, but he didn't move. No way. His Clark, he was comfortable, he was getting cuddles, and just not moving. Nope.
The man in the mirror wasn't the boy he had been this morning. His face looked older, his body stronger, his jaw line more square and different. His ears were there for everyone to see, the perfect shape of them, and the long length of his strong neck and shoulders.
He liked it. A lot.
And he heaved a long, soft sigh of relief. "Yeah. Lex, yes."
Lex inspected his lover's face in the mirror, hands touching the newly-short hair. He wasn't sure he liked it yet, because it made Clark look far, far older than his few years. But his lover wanted it and needed it, and Lex saw to it that Clark got it. And that was what was important. He kissed his lover's temple softly. "Now what?" he asked softly, reaching around to scratch Samson's ears as he howled softly.
"I want you." Clark said softly, gazing across at him. "I want to make this our place. I want to go to Metropolis and buy stuff we like to decorate it. The green ivy?" He looked around the bathroom, and made a face. "It has to go. Those ugly blue curtains in the bedroom? Have to go. I want you inside me, in that bathtub, right there in front of the green house windows behind it. I want to go on a date with you tomorrow night. I want you to promise me we'll have kids someday, and I want you to promise me you won't barf when you're dealing with your dad and Dominic's sperm. I want you to give them their baby. And you know what else? I really want some of Ms. Birds strawberry cheese cake."
Lex buried the soft snicker in his lover's neck. "The green ivy is gone. Tomorrow night? Our date will be a shopping date. You can buy anything you want to decorate this place, bathroom, bedroom, closet. Whatever." He stroked his hands over Clark's shoulders. "I promise you that we'll have a family, we'll have children of our own. I can't promise I won't lose my lunch over Dad's sperm, but I can promise I'll try not to." He looked Clark's face then, and kissed a broad cheek. "Get the tub running, use the vanilla and lavender oil, and I'll bring up the cheesecake while you're doing that, okay?"
"I want to throw a party for spring break. A big one." He hummed softly as his fingers came to the back of Lex's head. "I hate the ivy. We need something like… like ducks, or something. Happy." But he listened quietly, and when his lover asked his question, Clarks eyes flickered to his. "I love you. You are the light of my life. I love you, Lex. Thank you, for understanding, even if you don't, and even if you really liked my hair. You know what else? We should move our bedroom around. the bed... you can't see the windows. We should see the windows, cause they're so big. The sun should go over our bed in the mornings." A serious nod. "And we should go out for clothes. Something fun and exotic, for the next time we go to the clubs. Normal clubs. I want to dance with you and have you be all glittery. And we should go with Aden and Rico, and even Chloe and Whitney. Go dance and eat in Metropolis."
"The ivy goes, then." He stroked Clark's arm as he leaned against it. "I love you, Clark. I don't always have to understand to accept. Sometimes, I can accept it, just because you need it." The hand on the back of his head felt warm, and soothing. "I love you so, and that's really all there is to it." He stroked Clark's arm again as he listened to him rattle off the rest. "A party for spring break would be a good idea. You can throw it here, or we can throw it in Metropolis, up to you." He laughed softly at the mention of being glittery. "I have body glitter, if you want to see it. I haven't worn it in years, but it's in the back of the closet. You just roll it on, and it makes your body glitter." He turned around and straddled Clark's lap, cradling puppies between them as he settled. "You can move the bedroom around any way you want. I've got no problem with that. If you want, you can move it while I fetch cheesecake and milk, and then we can get in the tub together."
"Nah. That'll be for this weekend." A nod. "I'll... I'll get this all cleaned up." His fingers came up to stroke his lovers cheeks, and the gratefulness in his eyes was alive as he stroked over strong cheekbones. "You are so compassionate. You are so kind, you don't fade when it rains. You shine, like theirs a light on inside of you. Even in the darkest of nights I could find you, because it never goes out, it never fades when it gets cold. I love you, Lex. You are the best friend I have in this world, and even if we weren't together in the way we are, I feel like I accomplished something, simply by touching your life." A nod and it was just about the prettiest words he was capable of right now, as he stroked his lovers cheekbones. "I love you. And if you don't put extra strawberries on my cheesecake I'll kill you." A soft, warm kiss to his lovers chin, then lips. ]
"You're my light, Clark." Lex's hand rested on his lover's hip. "You're my light and my life." He took the warm kiss to his lips, and then took another one, harder and a little deeper than the one before it, pressing close and then jerking away as Samson squealed.
HEY! THERE IS STILL A PUPPY HERE!!! Samson squealed as Lex squished him, and he kicked out with his back feet at the big person body that was trying to squish a little puppy. "AWWWWAAAH!!!"
Clark jumped, clunked his forehead against Lex's nose, clacked their teeth, and winced down at his puppy as he brought the squealing, kicking baby up to hold over his head. "Oh, hush, you know it wasn't that bad. Drama queen." He brought Samson down for a warm snuggle, and brought Lex's body close to him as they kissed once more. "Go. Cheesecake. I'll get the bath started."
HEY!!!! NOT OF THE GOOD!!! Samson kicked again, whining because HE WAS GETTING SMUSHED!!! What is this with smushing babies around here???? He kicked his little paws again.
Lex snuggled and laughed, kissing his lover again and squirming away from kicking puppy paws. "Cheesecake. Extra strawberries. Pitcher of milk. Got it. I'll be right back. Half the cheesecake enough, or do you want the whole thing?"
"Half." Adoration in his eyes, as he set Samson on the floor and got up from the stool, carefully helping Lex to his own feet as he looked down at the floor. "I'll get it cleaned up." Another glance into the mirror as he rubbed his hands over what was left, feeling cool and comfy and he liked it. He pushed the stool under the counter and got down on his hands and knees, beginning to sweep it up with a small towel.
Lex got up and put his hands on Clark's hips to steady himself for a minute. "If you'll wait, I'll bring a broom. There's one in the cleaning closet down the hall."
"I'm almost done." He said it without looking up, just sweeping carefully as the puppies peered at him, and didn't say anything else.
Lex paused, watched for a second, and then got on his knees again, beside Clark, and used his hands to help sweep the hair into the pile.
God, dammit, he didn't want Lex to see his hands shaking, but now...he looked up at him, and swallowed, hard. "Do you think I'm nuts?"
"No. I don't think you're nuts. I just think... you deal with things differently than I do. I throw myself into my work; this is your way." He picked up one curl that had remained intact, from where it usually fell over Clark's forehead. "Do you mind if I keep this?"
"No." A shake of his head, as he sat back on his heels. "No. You can keep it, Lex. I don't mind." And that… was just about all he would say. No more, he was finished, and he carefully kissed his lovers cheek as he swept the hair up and carefully dropped it in the toilet, flushing twice so it wouldn't get plugged up, and he moistened the little towel. Wiped up the hairs still left until the floor was clean, and he carefully got to his feet and shooed the puppies out of the room. "Come on, babies. Lex and I need time alone. Shoo."
"Thank you." Lex pushed himself to his feet, carefully cradling the lock of hair in his palm. "I'll be back." He went into his dresser, and pulled out a small metal box. He opened the box, and there was already a lock of fiery red hair, along with one of a more burnished auburn. Lex pressed Clark's hair to his lips and dropped the curl into the box, then tucked it back into his drawer before disappearing down into the kitchen.
Artie just flomped. No way he was moving. No how. Cleo? Bundle of energy. Him? Lazybones.
Samson bit Artie's ear and tugged. Come ON lazybutt!
Clark bent down and bat at Samsons snout gently to get him to let go of his brother, and carefully lifted him in his arms, giving a short whistle for Cleo to follow. It was pushing ten and way beyond their bed time, as he walked into the opposite room where the big cozy bed was set up for them. "You three are the most spoiled puppies I've ever met." He said gently, kissing and nuzzling Artie gently as he set him amongst cozy pillows and fluffiness, gently rubbing his head. "Come on, Cleo. Samson, lay down, sir."
BED? BED?!?!? Uh! NO! WAY! She glared at her The Clark and snuffled, though she paid mind anyway, climbing up into the Sleepy. ....Ohhhh. And it was soft. And very, very warm. And… and Artie was waiting to be cuddled against. And...oh boy.
She flopped down beside him and oh. Wow. Mmmmmmm.
Artie put his head on top of Cleo's. Yeah. This is what was supposed to happen. He snuffled once, hard, and snored. Snore. Snore.
Samson whined. No, no bed! Clark! Clark time! Samson jumped out of the bed and followed Clark.
"Saaammmyy." Soft, heaved sigh down at his little baby, and he rolled his eyes and motioned him with him as he closed the study room door just a little and crossed their bedroom back to the bathroom, with Samson on his heels. He got out thick, fluffy towels and put the silver encrusted bathtub on, the plants growing from the little greenhouse garden on the window sill smelling lovely as he filled the tub. Lavender, like his lover said, and vanilla, and he sat on the little step leading up to the platform with the tub, gauging temperature as best as he could.
Samson jumped up on Clark's lap before he realized it, and there was... "AARRRRRRRRRRR!!!" water! Bad!! He scrabbled at Clark's skin trying to jump down and he couldn't get traction on his skin.
Clark caught him, gently, and hugged him close as he turned away from the tub, holding the puppy close as he climbed to his feet quickly and went into their bedroom. "Shh. Shh, baby. Shh. I told you it sucked. Come on, shh." He rubbed Samson's head gently, plopping on the edge of the bed with him to calm his little puppy heart, kissing him softly as he rubbed his stubbly cheek against a soft head. "Shhh, baby, shh.:"
Samson quivered, shaking and trembling against Clark as they went away from the water. He gave soft, quiet whimpers as Clark cuddled him, and he licked all over Clark's face and his cheek. Quiet, and calming as he trembled less and less, Clark comforting him.
Clark very gently lay him down on the covers of their big bed, tugging a corner up softly to cuddle it around his little puppy, and he kissed him gently as he did. "Shhh, baby. Shhh. See? I'm right here. I'm not going to let anything in the world hurt you. You and Cleo and Artie, you're my babies, Sammy. I take care of my babies, when I can. You know? Shhhh. Its alright, baby. Shhhh."
Samson snuggled up against Clark, tangling himself in the big warm thing more and more as he pressed up against Clark. He licked Clark's face again, and he stopped trembling. He was way far away from the water and the wet and the Clark had rescued him way back when and he snuggled in, whuffing happily.
He waited until his little baby had stopped shaking to press a tender kiss to his head and ear, carefully getting up with another soft kiss. "Lex is coming up soon, Sammy. Sleeps, baby. He and I have a lot to talk about, you know? Just stay where you are, and go to sleep. I love you, Samson." Another soft kiss and a rub on his back before he slipped back into the bathroom, carefully taking off the bubbly water before it overflowed. The tub was big, and very deep, but he was a big guy, and so was Lex. So he took it off and carefully shut the bathroom door, as he slipped his pajama shirt up and looked in the mirror.
It suited him, in his mind frame. And he liked that.
He shucked the pants and rubbed his shoulder a little, to get the itchy hairs off, and sat down on the step, waiting for his lover.
Samson whined, grabbed the big thing by the corner with his teeth, and he trotted down to the bottom of the bed, so he could see in the bathroom, watching Clark sitting there by the water.
Lex was whistling softly as he came back up the stairs. Ms. Bird had anticipated them, and had left half the cheesecake out, with an extra bowl of strawberry glaze and fresh fruit on the side. A large glass pitcher of milk sat on the tray with two tall glasses, and Lex nudged the door open with his hip. "Honey? I'm home!"
"AJ, you're a dork." Though it was said with amusement as he climbed to his feet and padded over very... very nakedly towards his lover, and mmed softly at the treat he'd brought. "Hey, I meant to ask you...want to go to Houston next week and get henna?"
Lex just beamed. AJ. He was AJ again. "But I am your dork." He moved the tray slightly so the strawberries and cheesecake whiffed up to his lover. "Hmm? Henna? Oh!" He blinked. "Yeah. Actually, I do. I miss yours."
"I want you to get one. Here." He swept his palm over his lovers lower back, and down his thigh. "A dragon, like mine was. Around my hip and down my thigh." He smiled at him though, and sniffled the cheesecake, dipping a finger into the strawberries and "Mmmmmmmmm."
Lex nodded. "I'll get one anywhere you want, any kind you want. You pick." He stroked his hand over Clark's stomach.
"Okay." Quietly said, though he smiled again, and stroked a finger down Lex's cheek before he closed the bathroom door from Samson getting in, and he took a plate of the cheesecake off his lovers tray and took the tray too, setting it on the counter. Put the plate down and carefully stripped his lover of his clothes, shirt and slack and socks and shoes, until he could wind an arm around a naked waist and lift him up.
Didn't say a word, and carefully set him in the bathtub, in all the soapy, lovely goodness, before joining him, cheesecake, fork, and glass set. He sat on the opposite side as his lover so their legs twined, and took a forkful of cake, offering it.
Lex didn't argue as Clark undressed him; he just stood there quietly and let Clark do what he wanted. The water was hot and silky against his skin and he sighed in absolute wanton pleasure as the calming scent of lavender and vanilla hit his nose and he breathed deeply. He leaned back against the side of the tub, and only raised his head enough to take the cheesecake that Clark was offering him.
"This? Is the life."
"Me feeding you? Or the bath? Or the fact that I'm about to use cheesecake as lube?" Though an expressive eyebrow came up and he licked what Lex hadn't gotten off the fork, before getting a forkful for himself.
"All three. Although I have to point out the bath oil will make a much better lube than cheesecake, for all of it's inedibility." His eyes were still closed as he luxuriated.
"Probably." Another bite of the cheesecake, which was melting on his tongue, and he murmured in soft pleasure as he ate, and offered Lex another bite. "The ivy really needs to go. Who decorated the rooms? They should be shot. Did you know Whitney has a rubber duck collection?"
Lex didn't bat an eye. "My mother picked the ivy, because it was as close to outside as she could get. But yes, it was overdone." He rubbed his toe against Clark's inner thigh. "No, I didn't know. Why does Whitney collect rubber ducks?"
His eyes widened, before his head fell. "Lex. I'm sorry."
"Don't be, Clark. I agree with you. The ivy needs to go. My mother was shut in, and she overdid the natural theme. As much as I love my mother, she wasn't a saint." Lex eyes were still closed. "Don't be sorry; you haven't hurt my feelings or disrespected anything."
He didn't look up, just swallowing and getting another forkful and eating quietly for a few long moments. "I don't know, why he dos. He just does. I saw it, earlier."
"So that's what you were peeking at," Lex said thoughtfully. "I wondered."
"I...switched them. Around. They liked it."
Lex cracked an eye open at that. "Switched them around?"
"Yeah. I gave...Chloe Whitney's… and Whitney, he felt her instead. They liked it. Or so the screams said." He swallowed down the piece and handed Lex the plate carefully as he lay back cozily into the water.
Lex put the plate down on the floor and shifted in the tub, so that his back laid against Clark's chest.
Clark shifted and spread his thighs to let his lover in, looking down at the pale skin quizzically as he brought an arm around his belly and chest, holding him close. "What's this for?"
"Because I like it." Lex scooted up just enough to have his head lying on Clark's shoulder. "I like being close to you."
"I do too. I like being close to you." Clark said softly, as he brought his jaw gently against Lex's temple, holding them together. "I haven't for a while, didn't like anyone near, but I love you. You're the best thing. Ever."
"I love you." He snuggled closely to his lover. "I know you haven't wanted people near you; I missed it. I missed being close to you. I... got used to it, very quickly."
"I'm a usedable guy." Clark said softly, as he nuzzled his lovers cheek gently and murmured, "I want you to be inside of me. Whenever you're ready, I want to make love with you."
He nodded. "I'm ready, Clark. Are you?" He stroked a hand over Clark's arm. "It's... been a while."
"Yeah, it has." Clark murmured, tenderly, as his palm stroked over his lovers chest once, carefully cupping the opposite shoulder, so they were snuggled in. "Not since the baby. But I'm ready. Slow, and soft. I'm ready for that. I'm ready to have you be a part of me again."
Lex purred quietly--not a deep purr like Clark's, but a human rumble of pleasure deep in his chest. "I'm ready too, Clark. Any way, any where you want. Anything you want, Clark. I promise that."
"Inside me. In our bed. Okay?"
Lex turned over. "Okay." His chin rested on Clark's chest. "Inside of you. In our bed. Tonight?"
"Tonight." He nodded it, though a soft blush had stolen over his cheeks, as his thumb came to Lex's face. "Today really, truly sucked. My parents... Quebec. Though it was oddly kind of nice. We should visit sometime."
"Tonight." He kissed Clark's thumb as it stroked over his face. "I'm sorry that you had that scene with your parents... what caused it, baby?"
"Some of it I don't remember." Liar. He remembered everything. "My dad telling me he didn't care where I went. Hitting me, because I laughed. But... but what made me leave, was him crying and looking at me, with the worst disappointment on his face, like he couldn't believe I'd done what I'd done."
Lex pressed his face to Clark's shoulder. "Is that what started it? You laughing at your mother? Or was it something else?"
"No. He wanted to keep me at the farm. He said I couldn't leave, I couldn't see you, I couldn't go anywhere but stay in my room." His voice was very, very quiet, as he spoke, stroking over his lovers backside in the hot water, with the moon shining over them, as well as the soft candles Clark had lit before Lex had returned.
Lex's grip tightened on Clark's arms, even though the danger was past. "I wouldn't have let him hide you like that. He wouldn't have been able to keep me away from you. I'd have torn down the sky to get to you."
"That's part of the reason why I laughed. I didn't... there was no way I could stay, Lex. I told him I wouldn't, and he was so mad. I've never seen him that angry with me. I just think they didn't realize I'm not a little boy anymore, Lex."
He kissed Clark gently. "I think they didn't realize how much we need each other," he corrected gently. "I think they know you're not their little boy." He pressed a kiss to Clark's throat again. "They didn't know how important we are to each other." He squeezed his aushna's waist. "Why did they want to separate us?"
"Because I haven't gone to school for 18 days this month." At that he swallowed, hard, and looked away, out the window. "I couldn't. I've never been absent from school until now... they thought it was your fault. My dad wouldn't hear me when I told him I'd had a baby and he died. I don't think he even believed me."
Lex frowned. "I'm sorry, Clark; I didn't realize it had been that many days. I'll talk to Reynolds in the morning and see what can be done to get it taken care of." He stroked his hands over Clark's shoulders. "Your father is predisposed to dislike me."
"And I really don't give a fuck if he does or doesn't. He doesn't have to see you. I do. And I'll have what's special to me, and I'll love who's special to me, and he can't do anything about it. I respect him, and I follow every rule he's ever given me but I'll be damned if he's going to chose who my lover is and who isn't because of his personal vendetta."
"Sssh," Lex calmed softly, kissing his lover's wet skin. "He didn't. You have me. I'm yours, baby. I'm always yours." He wrapped around Clark as tight as he could. "I'm here. He didn't win; you won. You defended me, Clark, and you won. I'm here; I'm yours."
The anger in his heart thudded out with his lovers soft, scarred lips kissing him, and his thumb came up to stroke over Lex's cheek bone softly. "I had to fight for your honor. For my honor, for aush. I had to fight, because if not, than what is there to fight in this world? What is there to have, if I cannot keep our vow, Lex?"
Lex kept the soft kisses up, pressing them against Clark's throat, cheek and mouth. "You kept the vow, aushna'." His hands stroked over Clark's chest. "You make me proud."
"I love you. I would sacrifice everything for you. You make me me. I adore you." Clark said softly as he kissed his lover softly, tracing the scar bisecting his lovers top lip with soft, nipping little kisses, and murmured, "You told me you got this in an alley, right? I don't remember." Another soft kiss, as his tongue swept in and traced the scar from the inside as well, where it had cut through his lovers lip.
Lex shook his head softly. "No, this came from a fencing match." Then a soft grin. "Everything else comes from a back alley."
"So, so sexy." He whispered, tracing his tongue over it...then over his lovers teeth, and in to find a warm tongue waiting for him to touch and lick, to kiss. He caught the tip between his teeth and gave a soft bite, nibbling and sucking softly in apology as he left it and went on to his lovers chin and jaw. He was aching hollowly, want in his heart he couldn't quite identify as sexual, and he bit at his lovers jaw softly, murmuring into it.
Lex shook his head softly at the murmur. "Ssssh. No, listen." Lex sat back and caught Clark's hands in his, feeling the water splash against him. "Clark, listen to me. As much... as much as I want you right now... and believe me, I do... it's not the right time." One hand reached up to stroke through what was left of Clark's hair. "If I did anything tonight, I'd be taking advantage of you."
"What?" Tip of his head as his lover moved away from him, and he looked at Lex not in hurt… but confusion. "What? Why?"
"Because what you need from me--what we need from each other is not sex. We can't get it from sex. What we need, is just to be together. That's all. You and I just need to share the same space. Lie in each other's arms, hold hands, and know we're loved. You can't get that from sex, not entirely." He looked up as he moved back closer to Clark, hands clasped in his. "You taught me that."
God, and he understood. He squeezed Lex's hands, tightly, and tugged him close, wrapping his arms around his lover and hugging him as tightly as he could. "I love you. I love you, so much. Lex, I love you. Christ, I love you. You just said no to my extremely talented ass be… because... God, I love you."
"Because I know what you need. Because I do love you, and I don't want to use you or hurt you." Lex stroked over his lover's back.
"I don't want to use you either. I don't want to use you to feel better. I want us to come together c… cause we want to, because it feels good to make love. I don't... oh, God. I love you." Clark kissed his lover all over his face, peppering it with warm kisses, and grasped his hand tightly. "I want to watch TV. With you. and order a pizza."
"We've got the X-Men to finish," Lex said quietly, turning his face up to the kisses Clark dropped on him. "And I've got the world of DVDs. You order the pizza and then pick anything you want to watch. I'll make popcorn, and we can sit in bed together and watch."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Lex returned his own kisses to Clark's face. "Yeah. I mean it. Then tomorrow after school... we'll come home, and shower. And go shopping with my Mastercard."
"Yeaah." Lightbulb? Had nothing on Clark Kent as he squeezed his boyfriends hand tightly and kissed the back of it. "We'll finish the sexy scar discussion sometime. I want to lick all of them."
Lex couldn't help the grin that spread over his face at Clark's expression. "You're so beautiful," Lex said quietly, and he had to fight the happy tears that wanted to slide down his cheeks at the achingly familiar and so long missed grin.
"Well yeah. I mean, we're going to go see Hugh Jackman. And yeah, yeah, I know its Wolverine, but hello. Its Hugh Jackman. No one can go wrong with him. Plus that Halle what's her face. She's hot, for a girl. And her powers kick ass, I don't care what you say. Controlling the weather is cool."
"I'd just rather have Wolverine's abilities myself, that's all I said." Lex moved so that he was sitting in Clark's lap, facing him with his legs around his lover's waist. "Come on. Mr. Bottomless Pit. If you call for the pizza now, then it'll be ready by the time we get out."
"We need at least two, you know, AJ. I'm not getting that veggie crap again."
"No veggie crap. Meat and cheese it is." Lex held dripping hands up in surrender. "You can order three if you want; order as much as you think you can eat."
"Two should be good." He smiled again and grasped Lex by the legs, lifting up and standing with his lover around his waist. Climbed out and walked leisurely down the steps, to set his lovers rump on the Formica counter top so he could get towels for them both.
Lex laughed as Clark carried him and set him on the countertop, and then jumped as his skin hit the cold tile. "YOW!" He put his hand down and lifted one ass cheek off the counter, then switched sides. "This fucking thing is cold, Clark!"
Innocent blink upwards as he crouched down to get them towels off the bottom shelf of the built in shelf for amenities, handing his lover one as he rubbed what was left of his hair with his, then down his chest and across his arms.
Lex spread his towel out on the counter and put his ass back down on it, and then took the towel out of Clark's hands. "No, Clark... let me."
Raised brow but he handed it over and stood before his lover, his fingertips coming up to trace the soft scar on his lovers neck, one he had put there, and felt a surge of both pride and humility, that this beautiful creature could want him.
Lex took the towel and started at Clark's neck, following the water trails down over his throat, over his chest, down the flat stomach to where a little pool waited in his navel. He dried that, then slid the towel over Clark's hips, and then slid from the countertop to his knees, placing a soft, chaste kiss on his lover's cock before drying each thigh, each calf, and then each foot. "Turn around," he directed softly.
He watched, riveted. Who wouldn't be? Lex...oh, God, and he turned around as he was instructed to, his eyes falling shut as he swallowed, hard. The soft touches were new and foreign, and he rubbed at his belly... his nipples, softly, and kept his eyes closed as his lover dried him off.
Lex started at Clark's feet again, since he was already kneeling, and moved the towel up Clark's legs, over the back of his thighs, and over the curve of his ass. Beautiful, firm cheeks that seemed sculpted of granite and Lex placed a worshipful kiss on each one as he dried it, then slowly rose to his feet as the towel glided up Clark's back, starting at the small and scraping lightly over the sensitive bump before moving up his spine, and out over his shoulders.
A soft, soft exhalation of breath. "Lex. How can you make drying so 'rotic, baby?" Asked softly from his dropped head, chin sitting on his chest to roll his shoulders into his lovers touch. "Mmmmm."
"Because I worship you," Lex whispered softly as he draped the towel around Clark's shoulders. "And you're beautiful to me, and everything that I do is an appreciation of that."
Clark turned softly, and wrapped his arms around Lex's shoulders, bringing him in tightly to hug him... press their naked bodies together even when it wasn't for sex, and kissed him so, so softly, over and over, all over his face. "I love you."
"I love you." Lex returned the hug, soaked up the warmth that Clark offered and offered his own solace in return. "You mean so much to me, Clark. I can't tell you."
"Sure, you can." And at that he beamed, as he took the other white towel Lex had been sitting on and drying his lover haphazardly, because he just... he felt... he was too guilty to feel good, but he was alright. He linked arms with him and whistled, as they strolled into their bedroom. "Lessee. You could tell me... I'm the king of the universe? I... am a pervy hobbit fancier?"
"I could sing you a very bad rendition of a Queen song, and tell you that we are both Princes of the Universe. But I won't torture you." Instead, he followed Clark into the bedroom, and sighed. "A pervy hobbit fancier? Does that mean you'd be interested in the Two Towers pre-release DVD I got last week?"
"EEEEEEEEE!"
It was a manly squeak, dammit. "Liar, because you did not. You've got it? No way. Liar."
"Yes, I've got it. It's downstairs in the library, unopened. It's got extra footage that the theatrical pressing of it I got a few months ago didn't have."
"Best. Boyfriend. Ever." Clarks eyes twinkled at him as he rose his fingers and stroked across his sweet lovers bare head, and pinched his ear before pushing him towards the door. "I'll order food, you go get Legolas."
Lex stopped to pick up his robe, and belted it tightly around his waist. He paused by the doorway, looking around at his lover, and he leaned against the door for just a minute, watching him move around the room.
He didn't notice Lex staring at him as he bent down to get his socks, tugging them on before he realized Lex was still staring at him, and he blinked...before smiling shyly at him and getting up on his other foot to get the opposite sock on. "What're you looking at?"
"The most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Lex said quietly. "I'm just so glad to be yours." He straightened from his lean. "I'll be back, bearing Elvish treasure in just a minute."
He beamed at that, blushed again, and rolled his eyes as he reached over to give his lover a teasing shove out the door. "You're just trying to schmoop your way into veggie pizza. Its working, dammit. I can't resist your charms."
Lex just smiled. "No veggie pizza. Get two with meat and cheese, and get a third one with just cheese. That'll be what I take for lunch tomorrow, because I won't have to reheat it down in the lab."
"Eww cold pizza." But Clark dropped a kiss on the back of his lovers neck and closed the door behind him, smiling at the wood for a moment before looking at the closet.
And he hadn't felt this good in a long, long time.
- = - = -
He hated being sick.
There were very few times in his long life when he'd actually been sick. It was always mild things, nothing serious--he wasn't prone to viruses like most of the people he knew were. Never really suffered from runny noses or coughs, but... as he rolled from his warm sheets, the night owls hooting outside of their open window, he was bothered. He hadn't slept well. The sneezing and coughing had gotten worse, until Dominic had had to climb from his bed and go sit somewhere until it calmed. His lover slept blissfully on, thank Jesus, and Dominic had carefully tiptoed from the room, slippers and sweater in place, and gone for a cool glass of orange juice and some Nyquil.
He was there now, sitting calmly, comfortably, cozily, in Lex's study. Sock feet drawn up, an open book in his lap, and a yawn in his heart.
Movement, behind him.
He jerked and looked over his shoulder, eyes wide as he surveyed the room.
Empty.
Hrmph. He sipped from his juice and heard a soft, plaintive little giggle, and his heart kicked up a notch as Christmas music began to play cheerfully.
And he never expected, in his life, for the cold, agonizing steel to penetrate his flesh.
It slid into his back like butter, much like the bullet had when it had sliced through his skin, and he let out a gasp of sharp, horrid agony as the knife slid all the way in before coming out. In, again, right below his lower left shoulder, sharp, even stabs into his body. Blood poured over the book, the juice, his mouth, his hands, red all over the carpet and floor. Over and over and over, stabbing him in his back, his sides, his head, all over, screaming.
Hair grasped and yanked back, by white, bony hands, and a voice like grating sandpaper whispered, Soon.
And Dominic was gasping for breath when he woke up.
He flew up, gasping hard in the dark as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, the image of the bony face in his minds eye horrifying, and he scrubbed his face as he opened his eyes and took in where he was. Bed. Lionel. Bed. Home. Oh, Jesus, mother of God and Mary. the pain had been so real, and he rubbed his hands over his chest to make sure he was still in tact as he rubbed a palm through his sweaty hair and off his damp forehead
Lionel's hand was in a grip of steel around his lover's shoulder, and he knew that Dominic hadn't even realized he'd screamed. "Dominic. Dominic!" He shook his lover hard even as he heard the panting and gasping for breath, and he tightened his grip. "Dominic, answer me. Are you all right?"
Harsh breaths, intaken and expelled, and Dominic nodded several times as he swallowed, hard, looking into Lionel's eyes in the dark as he shuddered, closing his eyes again as he fought to breathe. It was...Christ, almighty, two in the morning, and he wound his arms tightly around Lionel's chest a moment before leaning over and turning the small nightlight on. Couldn't...go back to sleep right now, and he swallowed hard as he squinted at his lover in the light. "I'm okay. H… had a nightmare. Its alright. Jesus."
Lionel sat up in bed beside Dominic, rubbing his hands over his lover's shoulder before reaching out to flip on the lamp beside the bed. "Can you breathe? You were gasping." His hands stroked over, feeling the sheen of sweat and cuddling him close so he didn't chill. "You're safe now." Even in his arms, he could feel Dominic trembling.
"I dreamt... a bony figure stabbed m-me to death in Lex's study. I had… had gotten up, for juice, and she killed me. Stabbed me in the back, over and over." He swallowed, his heart racing as he pressed in close to the safety of his lovers chest, and swallowed again, harder, as he fought to calm. "Jesus. I haven't had one of those in a long time. Christ."
"You're all right. You're safe now," Lionel echoed again. "Nobody will hurt you. Not so long as I'm alive." He squeezed tighter, his hands stroking over Dominic's back as though seeking out the phantom wounds from the dream.
"I know. It was just... just a horrid nightmare. I'm okay now. I'm so glad you're in bed with me." He reached up to kiss his lover, rubbing his fingers gently over his arms. "Here. Lay with me, okay? D..." A swallow. "Don't let go."
"I won't." Lionel slid back down to lie beside his lover, gathering Dominic close and re-situating him close to his body. His arms were tight and his legs were tighter where they gripped his lover, and Dominic was soon surrounded by Lionel's body.
"Oh, yes." He breathed it softly as they shared the same pillow, snuggling in close with him as he brought the blanket up over their shoulders to cuddle. "There. yes, that's... thank you. Christ." He leaned in close and cuddled, forgetting the light as he closed his eyes, and fought to think of good things. "Daisies. Kittens. The ocean." A moment. "Two in the morning isn't time to think of such things, but do you think Lex would mind if I got a kitten?'
"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings, these are a few of my favorite things." Lionel hummed the bridge of the song for a moment. "I don't think he'd mind, so long as your kitten doesn't mind three dogs, two toddlers, and a newborn."
"Mmm. Doubtful." He murmured, as he felt sleep tug at him again. He was terrified but he was even more tired, and he brought his arms around his lover closer as he heard Clark and Lex laugh the hallway across from theirs. He smiled, then, sleepily, looking up at his lover softly as they laughed again, even harder.
"They're getting there," Lionel said quietly, hands stroking soothingly across his lover's hair. "They'll be all right, little cricket. Go back to sleep; I'll be here to guard you."
A moment... he turned, letting Lionel go to squirm and turn so his back was pressed to Lionel's chest, and his arms tugged Lionel's close again, snuggling in deep as their blankets rustled with each movement. "can't be too careful. Its a spooky old castle." Tugged his pillow close and heaved a hard yawn into it, cuddling it close as he finally closed his eyes.
Lionel stroked his hand over Dominic's shoulder and arm, waiting for his lover to fall asleep. He propped his own head up on his other hand, watching. He doubted he'd fall asleep again.
"N… no' gonna sleep?" He asked softly as sleep tugged, his eyes falling shut and his body finally relaxing against his lovers.
"I'll fall asleep in a minute," Lionel reassured him softly.
"Mmkay." Quietly, as he heaved a hard yawn, his jaw popping as he did it, and he wrapped his free arm under the pillow, snuggling it close and sighing softly.
Lionel dropped a kiss on Dominic's temple, snuggling him close and watching him as he snuggled.
It only took another five minutes for him to fall back to sleep, but when he did he fell deeply. He was exhausted and he needed to rest, and his body knew it. He fell asleep quietly, not even snoring, cheek pressed to the pillow and his body relaxed and soft.
And Lionel stayed awake, head propped on his hand, watching the slow rise and fall of his lover's chest, leaning over to brush his lips once as he slept. "Goodnight, my husband."
-fin-