The Memoirs

Martha was a country girl. Not born and bred, unfortunately, but she loved the country side. The way of living, the animals, the fresh biscuits, and the land, all around them, that was theirs. But Martha loved music, above all else. Something she'd taught to her son. The one thing she hadn't been able to get him to accept... was country music.

She? Was addicted to it.

So it wasn't at all odd, for her to be humming her favorite song, half naked, her bulbous belly extended out from her, as she waited for her OB to return. She just hummed the song, happily, reading People magazine.

Jonathan was shivering in the corner of the office. He'd sworn up, down and sideways that they kept these offices, the tables, and the metal implements about twenty degrees colder than they needed to be, and the goosebumps currently pebbling his skin was his proof of that. "Honey, how are you not freezin' your... buns off?"

"Padding." Martha answered demurely. This was the first time Jonathan had accompanied her, at her request, because she wanted him to be here for the babies first ultrasound.

Amusingly enough, she knew he wasn't just shaking from cold.

"Come on over here, Jonathan. Dr. Billy will be in in a minute."

"Paddin' my cornfed ass," he snorted, but he moved to stand beside her on the table, kissing her forehead and brushing her hair back. "Your ass ain't no more padded than mine is."

"That's what you think." She flicked the magazine back to get the pages unstuck, and was just about to read on dear Brad Pitt and the furry animal growing on his face when Dr. Billy came in.

Jonathan wasn't what the good doctor expected.

He was cuter.

Dr. Billy Villaconstanthia offered a smile, broadly, and offered a hand to the nervous man with a smile. "Hello, Jonathan. Its wonderful to meet you, I'm Dr. Villaconstanthia, but most of my patients call me Dr. Billy."

Jonathan shook the man's hand firmly, giving him an appraising glance as he did so. "Dr. Billy, it's a pleasure." Wasn't sure what else to say, but definitely didn't like the young buck around his wife. "Don't mean to sound rude, but where's Doc Dixon?"

"She's actually on vacation, Mr. Kent." Billy's smile was bright, as he took a stool in front of the lovely woman. "Hello, Martha, its lovely seeing you again. How have you been feeling?"

"Good." He was so handsome, and she smiled down at him. "This babe's gonna be the death of my feet, but other than that, wonderful."

"Anything strange I should know about before we begin the ultrasound? Any discharges, cramps, bloating?" The gloves snapped into place before hands, now covered in latex, went to gently probe Martha's belly. He made mental notes as he went, carefully pushing here and there, cupping a hand under the swollen weight to make sure the baby wasnt pressing on anything from what he could feel.

"Nope." Martha shook her head, leaning back the smallest bit as he did his examination. "My breasts have begun to swell a little bit."

"Perfectly normal, for your sixth month. Your body is beginning to get ready for the production of milk. You might want to wear the special padded bras I'd say... in about six weeks, even less if this little guy's active."

"Uh huh," he muttered, under his breath as he rocked on his feet. Didn't like this at all, and he glared down at Martha, eyebrows up to his hairline. "She had a little bit of a problem real early on, couple months along, but the hospital let her go."

Yeah, Billy knew all about that, and he bit off the grin before it came up onto his face, as he climbed back to his feet. "Mr. Kent, if you're at all uncomfortable, please feel free to go sit in the lounge while I finish my examination. We can call you back in when we're finished, so you can witness the ultrasound."

Martha was just happy as a bee, and she lay back on the long examination table, lifting the paper gown up so he could continue.

"Me, uncomfortable, just because a strange man has his hands all over my wife in places nobody else should be touching?" Still, muttered under his breath for his wife's benefit. "I'm fine, Doc, just get on with it."

Some men were just so weird. Even the cute ones. Billy carefully rose the gown up higher, so he could expose her breasts, and he nodded, wincing slightly. "Martha, you're very swollen. Is there any pain?"

She shook her head. "No pain. A little discomfort, though."

"You may want to invest in a pregnancy girdle... it'll keep the pressure off of your breasts as they begin to fill." Though this was an odd amount of swelling at this early stage, and his med school training ticked something up in his head. "It'll be especially helpful when you need to go places and be out in public for a large amount of time. Otherwise, its going to hurt with a normal bra alone."

"Pregnancy girdle. Check." She smiled at him. "I can't believe how big I've gotten since the last time I saw you."

"Neither can I." Said with a smile. "I'm going to keep checking you over, mmkay? And then we'll get to the ultra sound. Did you already get the urine and blood samples to Vicky?"

Martha nodded, and shifted on the little pillow at the end of the table. "Yep. I think the UTI is all cleared up."

"Not an uncommon occurrence during pregnancy… don't be surprised if after the baby's born, you get another one." Billy answered, as he carefully probed and pressed against different parts of her belly.

Jonathan was going to have a stroke. He was sure of it. Between the poking, the prodding, the casual talk, and the mention of INFECTIONS... yeah. His head was pounding already, and he was pretty sure he could feel the vein in his temple starting to tic.

Billy noticed, out of the corner of his eye, and he smiled as he rose his head. "Would you like to feel your child's head, Mr. Kent?"

Jonathan looked down at Martha. "Won't hurt, will it? You, I mean?"

"He's doing it right now, and I'm fine." She smiled at her husband and reached for his hand, gently, sliding their palms together... then down, where the doctor was pressing.

"There we go... its alright. See?" He rubbed, gently, then covered his fingertips over Jonathans, so that he could feel. "Right...there. That's the back of your baby's head. He, or she, as we're about to find out, is quite the little stinker. He likes doing somersaults."

Jonathan's face broke into a wide grin. "Well, what do you know?" Little chuckle, and he looked back at Martha, still grinning. "Hey there, little fella... or little girl," he said softly, fingers and palm gently shaped around the tiny, tiny head that fit in the palm of his hand. "How you doin'?"

The doctor grinned, broadly, and let go so Jonathan could feel it. "I think the examination is just about complete...next week, full physical, Martha." Chastising finger waggle, as he pulled the large ultra sound machine, connected to the television, over to them. "Alright...Jonathan, take a seat there on that stool... you can drag it over. We're going to start this, and see how it goes. Doctor Dixon was the last one to do this, so its going to take me a minute to see where she left off." He quickly warmed the bottle of conductor jelly with his hands, and then spread it over her bared belly, starting from belly button and moving out. He coated her tummy where he was going to be looking and once he was satisfied, set the little bottle to the side, on the counter, and picked up the conductor himself. He began the VCR recording with one finger, and set the conductor on it. "Alrighty, lets see... oh, see?" He choked off a laugh, as he pointed. "There's your baby, right there. Upside down, and loving every minute." He grinned at the two smiling parents, before pointing back to the screen. "Hmm... fingers... what looks like the beginning of his toes, forming right there, and there. And..." A pause. A grin. "Would you like to know the sex, Martha, Jonathan?"

Jonathan pulled up the stool, and he reached for his wife's hand, holding it tightly as he looked over her shoulder. He could still feel the little head in his hands, couldn't wait to be holding the whole thing in his arms in a few more months, and he was still smiling as he sat down on the stool and hissed. "Martha? You wanna know?" Nervous chuckle. "I'm... I'm kinda curious if I should paint the crib I'm workin' on pink or blue, but..." Another little laugh. "It's up to you, honey."

"Of course I--"

"Oh boy." He blinked... stared at the screen, than stared at the parents. "Not boy. Girl. I meant... oh boy, as in... oh boy." He shifted and set the conductor down, carefully, on top of her belly, and gently, carefully, pressed down against the top of Martha's belly, for a full minute. When he was done he picked the conductor back up, spreading more jelly down along the bottom, and pointed upwards, instead. "You...oh boy."

"Okay, Doc? You gotta make up your mind here, are we havin' a girl or a boy?"

He grinned, under his goatee, and shook his head. "Its a girl. And a boy."

Jonathan blinked. "You... okay, what?" He'd stood up to look over her shoulder, then his ass thunked back down hard against the metal stool. "We're... what?"

"Boy. And girl. Your little girl's the one upside down... her equally sneaky little brother is hiding out, hiding out behind Martha's liver, having himself a great old time." He was smiling though, broadly. "We're going to have to get some prenatal x-rays, but from what I can see..." He pointed at the image again, shifting the conductor to a higher spot. "See, here? This is your daughter. Head, toes, legs, and her pretty little tummy. And here..." He pointed to a little piece of black and gray, which... "He's got big feet. That's how I saw him. He's hiding back there, though it looks like he's already begun to drop where he's supposed to. Martha, any day now you're going to feel an odd shift inside. That's him, moving down to join his sister, and start the bitching for their room before they're even born."

"Holy crap." Twins? TWINS?! She stared at the kind doctor, looked at her husband, and her mouth just dropped. "You're telling me I'm having two?"

"Right out of a British sitcom, but I can promise you I won't break out into Cabaret."

"We're... twins?" Jonathan was glad to be sitting, because otherwise he'd have been flat out on the floor. "We're going to be having twins!!" He looked down at Martha in shock, surprise, and more shock. "Twins?"

"You're going to have twins." The doctor repeated, with a smile, as he carefully set the conductor to the side and printed out the image captured on the screen. "A boy and a girl, each, so you'll have a complete set."

Martha's eyes were just... very big. "Twins? As in, two are going to come out?"

"Two are going to come out." Billy laughed it, softly, as he pulled the printed page out and set it on the counter to dry. "Come on, Martha, lets get you cleaned up." He carefully set the ultra sound to the side and snapped his gloves off, lifting her chart. "More vitamins, my dear. And the physical? I'm going to move you up to Monday, okay?" he was smiling, at the two of them. "Congratulations."

Jonathan was still shell-shocked, and he squeezed Martha's hand tightly. "We're... we're... we're going to have twins, Martha."

"I might have heard." But she laughed, and brought her husband down for a kiss even as the doctor smiled at them, and hugged him tightly. "We have to tell Clark, he's going to freak out."

The doctor smiled, broadly, and climbed to his feet. "Anything I can answer for you folks?"

"He's going to die." Clark was going to be a big brother twice over. Christ. He was thrilled, though, and he couldn't deny it, kissing Martha back firmly and laughing as he did it. "How did we manage to get so lucky, honey?" he asked her softly.

"I believe that would be... good genes, and great sex?" But Billy just grinned, and shook Martha's hand as she laughed. "See you guys next week. Take care, and if theirs anything you need, just email me over the weekend. I'll be in the office at 8 on Monday."

Martha just grinned, squeezing his hand even as she held her husband close and just...beamed.

Billy offered his hand to Jonathan, still smiling. "Congratulations again, Mr. Kent."

Jonathan shook the doctor's hand, grinning like an idiot. "Thanks, Doc. Thanks a lot." He looked down at his wife. "Honey... twins. There's gonna be two of 'em." He slowly helped her to sit up. "Wow. Didn't expect that, not at all."

Billy smiled at the both of them, and slipped out of the office, the nurse sliding in with her tray to clean Mrs. Kent up.

"God, we're going to be broke." Martha laughed, tears in her eyes as she touched her middle. "Babies. Plural! Can you believe it? Oh, my God."

"We're not gonna be broke," Jonathan said, huge grin on his face. "I can't believe it. Clark's gonna have two baby brothers and sisters... Christ, Martha! One of each, did you hear that?" He stepped out of the nurse's way as she started wiping the jelly off of his wife's stomach.

"I heard." She laughed again, and maybe a few tears spilled over. Possibly. "Go on, Jonathan, go call him. I'm going to get cleaned up and dressed, okay?"

"Okay. I'll be out in the waitin' room when you're done." He leaned over and gave her a kiss again, and then squeezed her hands. "You... Martha, I'm so happy." He hadn't stopped smiling the whole time.

Dr. Billy was in the hallway as Jonathan came out of the room, gently kissing his visiting lover. Chart under arm, he smiled and pressed his lips gently against that of the person he loved more than life itself, carefully, even as he stepped away from the room with him and walked back towards the nurses station.

Berluce leaned forward into the kisses from the doctor, and then when Jonathan came out of the room, he nodded at Jonathan with a little grin, and followed Billy further down the hallway.

Jonathan nodded to the doctor and Ber--. Wait. Dr. Billy Whatsis was kissing... oooohkay. More than Jonathan needed to know, and he was wondering if there was something in the water. He just nodded to Berluce in passing, and wandered out of the office, and to the pay phone in the outside corridor. Dropping change into the slot, he dialed the Luthor mansion, tapping his fingers on the wall.

"Luder mas'on, Clerg spikken."

Or so came from under the pillow, a blanket, and Lex's arm.

"Clark, how'd you like to be a big brother twice over?"

"Uuhgmph." Christ. His father was trying to make him understand fuckin' English at... ten thirty in the morning. On his day off! This was so wrong in so many ways. He grunted, groaned, glared, and rolled his lover off him with a gentle movement, as he straightened a little. His hair was sticking up in fifteen places, his ass, surprisingly, was sore, and their bed was deliciously sticky.

Not the environment one wanted to be talking to their dad in.

"Huh?"

"How would you like to be a big brother twice over," he repeated. "Little brother and a little sister?"

"Twice... huh? English. Early." He rolled over, and pressed against his lover, cuddling his snoring baby up in his arms warmly as he yawned.

"Your mother and I are having twins, Clark. A boy and a girl." Jonathan was beaming into the phone.

"Holy fuck."

"Yep, that was pretty much my reaction too, son." Bounce on his heels. "I got to feel the little girl's head in the office; come on over this afternoon, and I'll show you."

Clark just...he grinned, broadly, just... just... he didn't even know just WHAT, but he beamed, smiling in joy as he nudged his sleeping lover in the ribs. "Dad, that's amazing news. Oh man, that's just... that's so great. I'll totally be there this afternoon, so totally. I can't wait. How's mom?"

"Shocked, but the doctor's cleanin' her up. By the way, did you know Berluce's seeing your mom's OB? Anyway, she's goin' to be out soon, and we wanted you to be the first to know about your little brother and sister."

"Doc Dixon? She's like, ninety, dad." A roll of his eyes, but he pressed a kiss to the middle of Lex's back. "Thanks dad. Congrats, that's just... awesome news. I guess we're gonna have to make an extra long crib, huh?"

"No, the new one that's coverin' for her while she's on vacation." His voice was just thrilled. "Already makin' plans to stop by Fordman's on the way home and pick up what I need to double the size of it, and a few more gallons of paint."

Clark grinned. Like a dork. "Will you wait till tomorrow mornin'? I'll come out, fix the chicken coop, and we can do it together."

Jonathan rocked on his heels. "Reckon I can do that." He just grinned. "But we're goin' out early."

"Be there at six." Clark answered back, still smiling, as he pressed Lex closer. He supposed it was selfish, but his heart tightened, and his belly dropped from beneath him whenever he heard about babies. Couldn't help it. He rubbed his lips gently against a warm shoulder, as he spoke. "I love you, dad."

"I love you too, Clark." Jonathan hung up, just beaming as he went back into the office.

Lex, who had slept through all of it, woke when he felt his belly lurch with his lovers, and he didn't ask. He just wound his arms around Clark and pulled him down as soon as he'd hung up the phone. "Clark?" he asked softly, stroking and petting his lover's hair in calming, soothing motions.

He leaned down, gently, and kissed his lover softly in good morning, as he did something that he did only in very special moments. He lay his head down on his lovers chest, listening to his heart beat. He did it now to soothe himself, and closed his eyes carefully as he forced a smile. He was happy, he was. It just felt...miserable. "Moms having twins."

Lex's arms tightened around his aushna'. "You don't have to smile for me, aushna'," Lex said softly. "I feel your sorrow."

Clark's chin quivered, tightly, as his lover held him just like that, and he let himself be held. "I am happy for her."

"I know you are. But it's all right to be sad for yourself." He kissed Clark's temple softly. "It hurts."

"It...it hurts." His voice choked, horribly. What a way to begin their day off. He was so sad, unbelievably sad, even if he was happy at the same time. He didn't know how to explain it, past that. There was a scorching pain, as well as a joyful pleasure. On one end, his dead child, who should have been laying between them, and just the thought of him had his fingers tensing into fists on the blankets on either side of his lovers belly. He had promised himself he wouldn't cry for his son anymore, but yet, here he was, tears building in his throat and eyes, pain flooding his body. It had been almost three months since his child's passing, and yet it felt like it had been just yesterday.

"Aushna'," Lex said softly. "You can cry; you have the right. Out of the whole world, you have the right that no one else understands. Your child, your firstborn. Our son." His hands stroked his lover's shoulders gently. "You have the right to mourn when it's brought back so forcefully."

"I... will not cry anymore, for our baby, when I k-kn.." Their baby. "I know he is safe. I can't... won't... cry for our pain anymo-more." Even as he said it the sob broke through, even as he fought to clench down on it. For some reason, as odd as it sounded, he was more upset over this than he'd been when he'd walked into their old room. He didn't know why, didn't know why anything, it just… was, and he was fighting the hot flood of tears as hard as he could, fingers clenched on their blankets. His fingertips tore holes in their sheets with the force to keep from sobbing uncontrollably. No more tears. Their son had been worth more than that.

"If you won't cry for him, Clark, then I will," Lex said, two trails of silver moisture sliding down his cheeks. "Not because I didn't love him, but because I love him to remember how much it hurt. Because of him, I am strong enough to remember, and I won't not feel that." He ran his fingers gently through Clark's hair as he wept silently, the tracks on his face flowing with fresh tears.

That had been his breaking point. Seeing his lover crying without a sound, the tears sliding down his crumpled face, and Clark's own sob broke through, so heavy and deep he nearly curled in on himself. He felt the sorrow in his bones, deep in his soul, and he held Lex tightly, tightly. Rolled over to hold him closer, because the rage, the denial, the anger had passed. Now... just bone deep, heavy sorrow. All around him, babies were on the way, and he could do nothing but feel anger, resentment, bitterness, and a sadness so deep, so threaded into his heart, that he knew it would never go away. "Mar, Mar, our baby."

Lex's heart was flooded with the same bitterness, same anger, both from his lover and from himself. "I know, Kal," he said softly. "It isn't fair. But it isn't our time yet. We'll know when it is. And when it's our time, we will have our child, and he will be beautiful, just like his father." A quiet whisper. "Deep down, I hate them, too. I hate my father and Dominic, I hate Chloe and Whitney, I hate your mother and father. I hate them all for having what I couldn't. But I can't let that overwhelm me, because that... that would dishonor Mar." He rubbed his lover's back as they clung to each other, seeking solace. "I hate them all, but I love them more."

"I w-wish, I wish they understood, even a little, even a little of our loss. I wish they understood, but they don't, they don't understand, they can never understand." Clark gave another heavy sob, heavy and agonized, as his tears fell and he held onto Lex as tightly as he could. His lover was smaller than him but sometimes, like these times, he couldn't tell, at all. "We loved him and it wasn't enough, it wasn't enough to love him, it wasn't enough, its never enough. We buried him with everything he had Lex, everything he ever had we buried it with him, everything, because we couldn't even buy him anything, give him anything. He's buried with all he ever owned, a little blanket, our child, our child only had one little blanket, the one thing on all the earth and it rips my heart out, it rips my heart out with the pity of knowing my son, my son who came from my body, never had anything." He was sobbing now, with every word, and his heart was clenched so tightly he could barely breath, barely live, as he cried. "They're going to have their babies, and live their lives, and have their families, and at the end of the day, at the end of everything, our child will still be buried, ashes and bones, with all he ever owned. Our child, who was never honored for being born of aushna, our child, who was never worshipped and loved for the prince he was, our child, our baby who never had anything. It kills me, more, every day, it kills me to know we, US, we never even had a chance to give our child anything."

Lex's heart was breaking even as he rocked his lover. "Clark..." And then he stopped. Because nothing that he could say, nothing, would ever be salve enough for these open wounds. "Our child was honored Clark, honored in the best way possible, and that is through the love of his parents," he said harshly, squeezing Clark's shoulder. "He had the highest honor of all, your love, and mine." He couldn't say anything else for a very long while, as he cried out the lump of tears that was lodged so thickly in his throat. "They're never going to know, but we do. My father knows, Dominic knows, Chloe, Whitney, Bruce, Dick, they all know. Mar-El was worshipped, Clark. He was, because he was OUR son."

His body was shaking with his sobs, as he listened to his lover, quietly, just listening to him and holding him close. And after a while, a long while, of nothing but the sounds of their crying mingling, Clark spoke. His tears, heavy and hot, slow and fewer between, though the pain had long turned into a depression he carried with him wherever he went. "Our child was never honored for the being he was. He was never honored for being a child of aushna'. He was a rare and precious child, beautiful and wonderful and the missing part of me. And then he was taken from us, because he didn't form correctly, because of me. My body did something wrong, and our baby, a baby God had entrusted me to take care of, died. He died, and I felt his body die, I felt his heart and mind die, I felt him die and slip away from me and lay still. I felt him die, and I held him, and buried him, and released his soul. And our child is out there, in the earth, with all he ever owned, without the honor of what he was bestowed on him. He died with nothing, Lex, nothing, our child died with nothing."

Lex's grip tightened again, and if Clark had been human, he'd have broken a bone. "Our child didn't die with nothing, Clark. He took parts of us with him; he took pieces of our hearts and shards of our souls, and nothing you will say will make me believe otherwise. I can't believe otherwise, do you understand me?" His grip was growing tighter and tighter, and his voice was getting higher and higher. "I won't believe otherwise, Clark."

Oh, how Clark cried. He cried all the harder for it, his body heaving with his sobs, because their baby had taken parts of his parents with him. Clark's body shuddered with pain, holding Lex close as he felt the agony in his lover, and wept in bitter, horrible sadness. "We never... bought him toys, or books, or a pillow. He never had clothes, or a comb, or bath toys. Never... had, had a crib, a swing, presents from his aunts. Never… never had a grampa to dote on hi-him and buy him candy, never had anything. He never had.... not even... bottle, or a pacifier, or a soft jumper, or a pretty teddy bear. He never had anything. We buried him with everything he had, everything he owned, everything he had in this whole world, Lex, everything, and I can't stand it, I can't stand knowing I have this money, all this money, and none of it can be spent on anything that matters, because I can't have when my child never did."

Lex shook his lover violently. "I didn't know!" he yelled out. "I didn't know what was going on with you! I should have and I didn't!!" Another hard shake. "You can't blame me for this, Clark, because I didn't KNOW!!! You can't blame me for never giving him these things he de--deserved, because I didn't know until I felt you screaming in my head and I saw him and he died in my fucking arms!" A third hard shake, and he was screaming at the top of his lungs.

Clark sobbed, heavily, because he'd been waiting for it. Ever since his lover had developed his powers Clark had seen whispers in him that had just made him so sad, and now it was coming out, coming out and he cried, harder, as he rose up to sitting and pulled his lover into his arms, tightly. The shakes didn't even move him, just holding him tightly as he screamed it out, and held him close, sharing, as much as he could, the comfort, warmth, and understanding in his heart because he knew, Clark knew, it wasn't their faults, either of them, and he shared that, even as he cried.

Lex didn't even try to fight any more, just letting the hard sobs pour out of him. He'd never spoken those words, those accusations at himself out loud before, had buried them deep as he possibly could for as long as he could have, and they had finally bubbled up. "He was my son, Clark," muffled against his shoulder. "And I couldn't do anything to save him. What kind of a father does that make me?"

"Mortal." Clark whispered, into his lovers neck, as he held him close, their shaking bodies not seeming so bad, now, that they were close. "Mortal. No one could have saved him, no one. As much as we wish we could have, that's how he formed. He was beautiful, Lex, beautiful, so beautiful. I don't blame you, not for any of it. I don't blame you, you didn't know. I didn't know, either. I thought... I was dying. We didn't know, baby. We didn't know. I'm so sorry, because it was my body that put you through this. I'm so sorry."

"No," Lex said weakly, still muffled against his lover's chest as he thumped his fists against Clark. "It's not your fault. It's not. I'm the genius here; I gave my father a baby but I couldn't save my own." Harsh, choking sob followed it. "I'm sorry."

"There was nothing, Lex. Nothing you could have done. Nothing. He was dying as he was being born. You couldn't change time, Lex. Even if you could have, even if, you couldn't have saved his life. You couldn't have fixed lungs that weren't there. You couldn't have made him breathe, when he had nothing to breathe with."

"I could... I could have built something. Made something." He vaguely remembered saying that to someone before, and being told he couldn't.

"No." Clark whispered, softly, as he carefully, carefully brought Lex into his lap, arms around his neck tenderly, holding him close. He'd had a small freak out, and now... now he felt better. A little, but it was a little, and that was enough. He gently stroked over his lovers long back, tenderly comforting him in the morning sun, and kissing his lips, his temples, his chin and cheeks and eye lids. "You couldn't. Not in mere seconds. Mar was only alive for three minutes and fourteen seconds, two and a half minutes of that where he was being born, aushna'. There was nothing you could have done."

"There had to have been. I couldn't be helpless to save my own child."

"You were, Lex. Just like I, with all my powers, was. There was nothing we could have done." His fingertips came up, to gently cup his cheeks, and pulled away enough to look into red rimmed, puffy eyes. "Nothing you could have done, nothing I could have done. Nothing we can do, to this day, but mourn."

Lex suddenly shot up off the bed. "Get dressed," he said firmly, shoving everything down for the moment. "We're going to the toy store."

A heavy, dull horror leapt up to almost choke him. "What?"

"We're going to the toy store. We're going to buy Richard what he never had." Lex was already on his feet, halfway to the closet in a frenzy.

"Lex..." Oh, God, and the horror was making his voice rough and deep. "Lex, no. Baby, no. No, we c-can't. No, Lex, no." He reached out for his lovers hand, gently, catching it and tugging him close. "We can't buy for him, Lex. We can't. He's gone, baby, he's gone, and as much as we wanted to, we can't, not knowing we buy for our dead child, not knowing he'll never get any enjoyment out of them. It will only make it worse, make everything worse."

"I don't care," Lex said stubbornly as Clark pulled him in. "I can't... I won't let him think we didn't love him enough to give him everything and then some," he said gruffly. "I can't... he can't be alone out there."

"He's not alone. He's never... never alone. I said he died without things... not that he died without us. He has us, Lex. He'll always have us. He's not alone, not when we all remember him. Baby, please, please, we can't buy him things now, not now."

"Then we'll give him things," Lex said softly. "Buy them, bury them, burn them, what the fuck ever, but he will have them."

"How could he have them, if they were never his? They're meaningless, when we never experienced them with h-him." His chin trembled again, and he shook his head, swallowing hard. "Please, Lex."

"Then fucking tell me what you want, Clark, and I will do it!" Lex exploded. "Tell me what I have to do so that you don't feel this guilt pressing down on you day after day because it's driving me insane. It's driving me insane, right now, this second, knowing it's there, and that once again, I'm helpless to do anything to stop it!"

"Please, don't, please, Lex, please, don't lose it, please, you can't, please." he begged it with a sob, half leaning on his knees out of the blankets as his lover stood before him. "I can't help it, I can't… I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I can't help it. There's nothing either of us could do, none of us could have done, nothing we could have done, Lex, please."

Lex walked forward, meeting Clark's lean with his body, wrapping his arms around Clark's shoulders as he felt Clark's arms around his waist. "No, okay. I won't. I won't." He squeezed Clark's shoulders firmly. "I won't lose it. It's okay. I'm sorry... I didn't mean to yell." Lex forcibly yanked control of his emotions back in line, stuffed it back down inside. "I'm sorry, Clark. Please... it's all right."

"No, you can't, not like that, I won't let you, no, please," Babbling, babbling, as he begged, "You can't push it back down, you can't, please, jut don't hate me, don't hate me for hurting you, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

"I don't hate you, Clark," Lex said softly. "I don't hate you at all. You're my everything; I could never hate you." He kept his voice quiet, calm, soothing.

"You don't trust, don't trust to tell me, don't trust, there's nothing you can do, aushna', nothing you can do about my guilt and pain, like there is nothing I can do of yours. We just live, and breathe, and keep it, because there's nothing else we can do. I love you, you love me, and Mar will always be with us. We just grieve, as we are allowed to do."

"I do trust you, Clark. You know everything; I don't have to tell you." Kept his voice calm, and steady, trying to calm his lover. "We'll always love each other." Quiet repetition of the things Clark was saying. "We grieve together, Clark... we just do it differently."

"I love you, so dearly, so dearly aushna, I love you." Clark whispered, quietly, as he pushed his own self up. "Stay with me today… don't go. Please, don't go."

"Come with me," Lex said, even though his entire body shuddered in pain and revulsion at the thought. "Our ashikana needs me; I promised I would take her today, for clothes and the things she needs for her baby." And the word was almost painful to spit out.

Clark's heart dropped. "Lex, no. Please, no. Please, she'll understand. Lex, no, we can't, can't, please. Spend the day with me. Please, Lex, please, I can't, please." He was all but hyper ventilating, as he begged, because today… they could, in no way, shop for baby stuff.

"Clark... I can't. I made her a promise, that I would do this. I would take her and help take care of her and the child. It's what I do--it's what we do, and we've neglected our sha'nauch enough already; Chloe already thinks she's unworthy. We can't... Clark, listen to me, we can't take them down with us, understand?"

Chloe had heard the whole thing.

Jolted awake by the screaming, she had lay in bed, listening through what must have been paper thin walls as they cried in the room across the hall. Cried and screamed and she had had to rub the pain out of her chest more than once. The guilt was unbelievable, scorchingly deep, for having this baby when her ashimels had been denied the joy and pleasure of having a son.

A son she would have.

She bit her lip, tightly, wearing a big terry cloth robe that Clark had hung in the bathroom the night before, and she awkwardly, gently, pushed the door the rest of the way open. It had been open a crack, unfortunately, and she heard the last of what Lex said with a heavy heart. "Guys... I didn't mean to… overhear, I.... we don't have to, today."

Whitney was awake. Sort of. He had his face buried in one pillow, another pulled over his head to try and block out the screaming and the sobbing. Just couldn't take it. Not today. Not this morning, not when the hangover already had him feeling maudlin as hell and he was two steps from a weepy mess himself. Just... no. And he held the pillow tighter over his head.

Lex's head jerked around as Chloe came in. "It's okay," he said automatically. "It's okay that you overheard; I'm sorry. I forgot you guys were in the room across the hall." Huge sigh. "You shouldn't have had to hear that, Chloe, I'm sorry."

"Sorry." Clark echoed, as he looked away, and rubbed his cheeks. He was already a weeping mess, his tear tracks still fresh on his crumpled, red streaked face, and he didn't look at his ashikana, didn't let her see him, didn't let her see him dishonored.

"Its okay." She whispered, softly, and took another step close... then another, and swallowed. "I... I love you guys. I love you very much. I'm so... so sorry, for everything you've been through. I don't claim to understand the depth of your pain… but... you guys... are my sha'nauch. What you feel, I feel. And I love you both, so much. You can't give up... you can't let it get you down. You're both worth more than that...that little baby was worth more than that."

Lex understood, and he kept Clark's face pressed tightly to his shoulder, rocking him gently as they listened to Chloe. "It's not that simple," he said softly. "Things never are. Chloe... imagine, if you can, that you didn't know you were pregnant until you were giving birth alone. Imagine, if you can, that the child who fought his way out of your body died while Whitney was holding him, even as you looked for a way to save him? Imagine that Whitney was dying with the baby, and you couldn't even take the time to mourn him because you couldn't stand to lose your lover too. On top of that? Imagine that you gave two other people a child, that you see children all around you, knowing that despite everything you can do, you're helpless when it came to saving your own child. Imagine that despite everything you have, you couldn't give your son anything. Because he was never here long enough. Imagine that, if you can, and then tell me I can't let it get me down." Lex's voice never raised above a calm, modulated tone, barely above a whisper.

And Chloe was in tears. She bit her lip, chin trembling, and sat down on the edge of the bed... still far from them, but even from here she could see the silent sobs shaking Clark's shoulders, see the complete defeat in Lex's eyes. "I can imagine it. I have imagined it. What you both went through was the scariest, worst thing imaginable. It was horrible, and it was surreal. But I know something else. I know the both of you. Clark, you're the strongest, bravest person I know, for having this happen to you, and yet, you can still walk around with a smile on your face. And Lex... you are so deep, your heart goes on for miles and miles, just waiting to be loved, and when you are loved, you are the most beautiful creature on this earth. You put aside your own horrible pain and help the person you love, because you're completely selfless, completely loyal. The both of you have these qualities because of Mar. They've come out, and they've shone. The both of you... you'll have babies, one day, where you'll know and understand what's happening so that this won't happen again. You'll have children, and those children will be worshipped by us, because they are born from aushna', and that's the most wonderful thing of all. Don't you see? Mar gave you an indescribable gift. He gave you each other."

Lex just held onto his lover tightly, stroking the back of his head, rubbing his fingers through the still-short locks of hair. "He did give us each other. You're right about that." A kiss to the back of Clark's neck, and Lex squeezed him tighter. "But there's other things that go along with that. There's pain, Chloe, and there's bitterness, and there's guilt, and there's hate. A part of me hates you right now, hates you more than I think any human being is able to comprehend, because you do have a child. Because you know, you know what to do to make sure that he or she is born safely, and because problems can be detected early and even if, God forbid, your baby is born sick, then he will live because you will know and have things ready for him. I hate you because you have that and I don't. But even more than that, Chloe, I love you, because you will get to experience it."

Her chin trembled, as he told her he hated her, but she listened, and she understood. "Birthing babies had to start somewhere. You didn't know, Lex. None of us have hindsight. You didn't know what was going to happen, but now, now you do. Now you know Clark's pregnancy takes four days, and just what will happen with the contractions begin, and what to prepare for if the worst should happen. Now you know, and the price of knowing cost a dear price. Now you know it will never happen again, now you know your baby will be safe, because you're going to study it, and Clark's going to study it, and you're gonna have Clark's real dad help you, and you won't be in school. You'll be home, where you can have your babies safely, where the pain won't be so much." She reached out, softly, and touched Lex's hand softly. "Neither of you knew he was pregnant. How could you? He didn't get big, he didn't even have a period to lose. You both couldn't have known, you couldn't have. There's no possible way, Lex, and don't tell me you could have found out, because you wouldn't have known. X-rays don't pass through Clark's skin, Lex." She gently stroked over Clark's tensed, shuddering back, and under her gentle stroke, felt it loosen just a bit. "You wouldn't have known, and you can't stop your lives for the unknown... not with Clark. Because he is the unknown."

"I knew something wasn't right with him." Lex sighed. "I felt it. I knew. He wasn't eating, or he was eating like a horse--even more than usual. The grocery store, he almost got sick there, and you, I told you he was sick that morning and to call me if it got worse, I knew, Chloe, I knew something was wrong and I didn't push. I should have. I should have pushed, I should have made him come down to the lab with me, I should have made him let me look, because just maybe, if I had been on the fuckin' ball, we might have seen something. We might have seen that there was a baby growing inside of him and we could have talked to Jor-El. So don't tell me that I wouldn't have known because I fucking did know. I did know, and I didn't do a fucking thing about it. And my baby died, because I didn't." Huge sob following that, and his entire body nearly deflated under the guilt.

Her heart broke, in shards, as he cried, and she watched as Clark's arms came up, tighter, not just being held, but holding now, as well. "You didn't know Jor-El, Lex. You told me yourself, you met him afterwards." Her hand tenderly came up, to stroke over the bare skin of his head. So much pain, in such a short life. it was hard to remember he was just twenty two, but times like these, she saw the scared kid in his eyes. "You're not a miracle worker. You don't have the skies and the fates under your control, Lex. You knew, but I know you. You didn't want to mess with Clark unless it was necessary, because you knew how he gets over his body. Even if you had seen, even if you had been able to see Mar, how could you have formed his lungs, Lex? How could you have penetrated flesh of steel, the placenta so thick not even you could break it, not even Clark could have broken it. How, Lex? tell me, how you would have helped?" She shook her head, softly. Now you know, Lex. You know for next time. It isn't your fault, sweetheart. It isn't Clark's fault, either. It was just this horrible, horrible, sad thing, but no one could have prevented it from happening. I love you both, I love you both, so much, but you did all you could to save your baby. You did what you could, and theirs nothing else anyone can ask from you."

Lex sobbed again, a quiet noise this time as he folded in against his lover. "It is my fault. I should have made him tell me," he mumbled against Clark's shoulder. "I should have made him. If I'd known... I could have built something. To breathe for him, to help keep him alive long enough for me to find a way to fix it."

Clark gently, ever so gently, held his lover close, sitting up enough to pull his lover back into his lap. He held him close, his face a mess, his heart in his throat, and looked up at Chloe softly, allowing her now to see him that he'd stopped crying. "You're wise beyond your years, ashikana."

"I know." She whispered softly, and reached over to gently, gently, hug Lex and Clark both, tenderly. "Their was no way, Lex. No way, baby. Nothing in the world you could have done, nothing you could have changed. Mar loved you, youve both told me, he felt your love. That's the greatest gift in the world. Knowing your baby is loved by both yourself and the person you've chosen to hold their hand and walk through life with. He loved you, and you loved him. He died knowing no hate, no anger, no fear. That is the greatest gift in the world."

In that instant, Lex had never felt more empathy towards his father than he did then. Suddenly, in a flash, understood how and why Lionel had become the man he'd become, and how easy it would be to follow the same path. There was no pain, no fear, no doubt, but no love. "HE was the greatest gift in the world," Lex corrected softly. "And I couldn't take care of it."

"But you did. That's what you don't understand." Chloe whispered, as she stroked over his jawline, his face, what part was facing her out of Clark's embrace. "He was given to you for mere moments. He was given to you for the time that was his to be on earth. And you took care of him. You took the best care of him I could ever imagine. Lex, you saw this baby in Clark's arms, and you didn't hesitate, didn't even stop to think. You just loved, because he was yours. Don't you understand that? Don't you understand, you gave him everything in the world that matters?" She looked up at Clark, and gazed at the two of them. "Neither of you understand that. No, you didn't give him toys or blankets or anything else, but what is that stuff, but material possession? I would trade all my stuff in a heartbeat for Whitney. You did that--you gave him the one thing on this earth that even matters."

He knew she was right. He knew she was, even as he could still feel Mar in his arms, feel the little tremors as he fought to breathe and felt the utter, cold stillness in his body soon after. He knew she was right, and he just cried all the harder for it.

So instead, she gently pushed Clark a little, a little away, and instead wrapped her arms around Lex's much bigger body, holding him close. She begged, with her eyes, for Clark to understand, and saw in them that he did, even as he kissed her. She pressed back, gently stroking over his tongue with her own, and fisted in his hair a moment for a tight hug before he let go. "I'm going to spend some time with him, okay? Whitney… he's in our room. I think he's awake."

Clark nodded, tightly. He understood the asking of his ashikana, and he climbed carefully from the bed, after kissing his lovers temple. He understood, completely. He'd dealt with his sons death already... had to. Couldn't live without having done so. But Lex hadn't dealt, and this was his time, now. He slipped on a pair of boxers and carefully padded out the door, and across the hall, to gently knock on the door his sha'nauch had shared. "Whitney?"

Lex held tightly to Chloe, crying softly, rocking both of them gently on the bed as he heard Clark close the door behind them.

Whitney hadn't peeked his head out from under the pillows yet. "If you're going to cry, go away," he said softly. "I can't stand it right now. I can't."

"I'm not going to cry." He whispered, quietly, and closed the door behind him. The bed dipped under his weight, and one large hand came up to caress the back of Whitney's neck, tenderly. "I think I'm done, for now. Though I'm sure the nest Kleenex commercial I see will make me bawl." Clark stretched out where Chloe had been, and gently rubbed his ashimel's back. "How are you feeling today?"

Whitney pulled the pillow off his head at that. "I'm hung over," he said with a grunt into the other pillow, then turned his head towards Clark. "I can't stand it when you cry, not now. It just makes me want to die, and I can't go back there."

"I know." Clark carefully reached out, and slid the locks of hair off his ashimels forehead. "I'm not going to cry. I'm sorry, for this morning. my dad called...my moms having twins. And I kinda lost it."

"Really? That's great for them." He just couldn't work up a great deal of enthusiasm. "I heard you lose it. I wanted to come in... I just couldn't."

Clark knew the feeling. He carefully, softly, stroked Whitney's hair, and shook his head. "You didn't have to. What you've been through is huge, Whitney, and we shouldn't have lost it, not when you still need us. Just… couldn't help it." But because he felt the hot ache of tears grow again he just shook his head and rolled onto his back, to calm himself and watch the ceiling. "Lex said you guys want to go into the city to buy stuff?"

"Yeah, Lex said he was going to take Chloe and Shayla to Metropolis... Baby Gap and the big Babies R Us thing they've got over there. I was going to tag along, but I think now, I'm designated driver cause you guys ain't in no way ready to go."

No. He set aside his own selfish pain, and gently reached for his ashimels hand. "We'll go. We just kind of needed to get that out. I'm sorry you both had to hear us. Today is your day, today is your day for your son."

Whitney squeezed Clark's hand firmly. "You sure about that? Cause it didn't sound like getting it out, it sounded like World War Three in there."

"No...World War Three is what you missed last night when Lex fucked me blind and deaf."

Little snort. "Information I could have done without."

"Liar." He managed a little smile. "When you're well.."

"You didn't let me finish. Information I could have done without when I'm too tired to get my dick up." He rolled over onto his back then, and looked up at Clark.

"You can never be too tired for frisky sex." He answered back, though he was smiling, gently, fingertips stroking over a warm hand softly. "Have you and Chloe....?"

"No, we haven't," he said softly, raising his other hand to rest on Clark's hip. "We haven't yet."

"Why?" he asked, quietly, as he reached out and gently stroked over Whitney's golden hair. "Why not?"

"I don't know," he said softly. "Mainly... I just haven't thought about it. I mean, I just never thought we'd be good to. She's pregnant."

Clark...well. He snorted. "As reader of porn, let me tell you, its definitely okay."

"You think? She would, I mean?" Whitney bit his lip. "It won't hurt the baby?"

"No, ashimel." Quiet amusement in his heart, as he stroked over the bitten lip, and brought him close for a tender embrace. "No. It won't hurt the baby at all. You can't tie her up and torture her or anything, and you gotta be gentle, but you can have all the sex you want to. Its good for the baby, and its good for Chloe, to keep her muscles stretched for when the baby is born."

Light little blush. "She uh... she sometimes... she... you know. Me. With... yeah. Can we?"

Clark didn't understand a word, but he smiled anyway gently, anyway, and rubbed his ashimels hair. "Yes. Yes, you can. And you should. She was asking Lex the other day if it was okay."

Whitney blushed harder, cause he knew Clark hadn't understood a stammered out word. "She... uh... straps on. And... sometimes... makes love. To me. And. Just wondering... if she can? Cause... don't want her to hurt herself, and. If she asks, you know, I need to know."

The blush was beautiful, and Clark rubbed his lips over the flaming cheeks, tenderly, and brought him close. "It'll be okay. if she can get it on with her growing tummy, than yes, its definitely okay." He carefully, tenderly, ran his fingers down his ashimels back, and whispered, "If you wanted cock, you could have asked me."

"No, it's not that. It's just... I like it being her sometimes. Because it's HER. My girl, taking care of me." He curled up close to Clark. "That's not saying I don't like yours. But sometimes, we just both like it being her."

"I understand." Clark whispered, softly, and rubbed his fingers gently over the curve of spine. "I should be okay, shouldn't hurt her." But he kissed Whitney's forehead, and carefully let go, to sit up. "I'm going to see how Lex is. If he's okay… we'll go. If not… it might just be you and the girls, Whitney."

Whitney sat up with him. "Let me... get dressed, find something, and I'll go with you. I'll help you check on him."

"You don't have to, Whitney." Clark's eyes dropped, with pain. "He's still crying. I can feel it. I don't want you to feel any worse."

"No... it's okay. I mean... you guys need us. Both of us."

"No. Lex... Lex and I need to deal with this alone." He reached out, though, to sweep over his lovers face in thank you. "This is our burden. We can't have you both dealing with it anymore."

"Hey." Whitney looked slightly offended. "Isn't that what we're here for? To help you guys when you need it, not just the other way around? If you don't let us help, then what the hell's the point? I mean, yeah, great sex, but if you don't let us do our thing..."

"Please… don't feel angry." Clark swallowed hard and gazed at his ashimel. "We already feel like we don't show our love for you enough. We can't have you burdened, not anymore, not after everything you've been through, and the future you have ahead. We don't need it... we just had a little episode. We're okay, Whitney, I promise."

"You guys are both dorks." Whitney groaned as he pulled himself up to his feet, and he braced himself on the wall. "And I'll do something about that as soon as the room stops spinning long enough for me to think about it."

Clark always won. "Good. Go shower; I'll send Chloe in here in a second." Didn't give his ashimel a chance to respond as he stepped back out the door and across the hall, carefully, softly, opening the door.

"Shower, right." Whitney stumbled blindly towards the bathroom.

Lex was still coiled around Chloe, but his head was resting on her stomach, and he was crying softly. Not the harsh, ugly sobs of before but quiet little tears.

Clark came in, very quietly, and shut the door behind him. "I'm back. Whitney's getting in the shower… he's a little hung over." He stepped over clothes, the discarded, empty, lube bottle, and slid back onto the bed he shared with Lex, as he offered his embrace. "Come back to me, Lex. Come lay down, with me."

Lex flowed easily, from Chloe's lap to Clark's arms, and he buried himself against Clark's body, making himself as small as he possibly could.

"Whitney needs you." Was all Clark said, quietly, to the small blond girl, and he watched her nod, climb to her feet, and with a last glance to them, leave. Instead, Clark gently, ever so gently, wrapped his arms warmer around Lex's body, laying back on their blankets, and covering him up, softly. "I love you, aushna'."

"I love you, Clark," Whispered softly, as he curled up against his lover and wound his arms tight. "It just hurts, so much."

"I know it does. I know. I'm here now, though. I'm here... I'm here. I've dealt with this, Lex, and you haven't, I love you, I love you so very much. Just stay here, with me, in our bed, for a little longer."

"Okay," he said quietly. "I'll stay." He stayed curled tightly around Clark. "How do you stand it?"

"Stand what?"

"Stand... this." Weak little wave. "This... hurt. This pain. Knowing that... you hurt. That you have to deal with it, and can't get away from it?"

"Mm." he leaned back against the pillows, tucking Lex in close to his body. "I have hope. Hope that… I'll have healthy babies, someday. I hope for you. That you'll always be with me, and you'll always care for me. I hope, and I love, and I find the humor in life. Mar didn't want us to stop living... he told us himself. And I take what he said in my heart, everywhere I go."

"I will always be with you. I may not know anything else, but I know that." Lex hugged tightly, almost convulsively, and didn't let go. "I love you. And no, he didn't want us to stop. I know he didn't."

"He loved us." Clark whispered, softly, gently, as he held his lover just as tightly, his fingers gently stroking across warm skin. "he loved us, and I love you. You have to take that, Lex, take that in your heart and never let it go."

"I do." Hard, hard swallow. "And I know that he wouldn't want me hating everyone. But I can't stop it. I can't stop hating all of them for having what I lost. I hate each and every one of them."

"I do too. But you have to know something, Lex." Clark's lips brushed his temple. "We aren't the first to lose a child, and we won't be the last. Your dad, he deserves a baby. He deserves this happiness, because he went through what we went through. Chloe and Whitney, they deserve this baby because they are human, they love, they're going to have a huge family and share the love of sha'nauch with people everywhere they go. They will spread our love, Lex. You can't hate, for such a precious, beautiful gift."

"I don't. Not really. I don't... I don't want them hurt. I just... I hate them. But I love them more. I've never... I see myself looking down the road, and... I see my father. I don't know how to not turn into him, Clark."

"By loving me." Clark whispered, tenderly. "By loving our children as much as I know you will. By loving our friends, and our family, and giving a damn about them. That's how, Lex." Clark gently nuzzled his lovers ear... then his jaw, and finally his lips, kissing him quietly. "Your dad was alone. You're not."

"Promise me that, Clark. Promise me that. Promise I'll never be alone; that you'll be with me." He stroked his lover's shoulder and back gently.

"You'll never be alone. I'll only leave when I have to poop or go to school." Clark murmured, though he smiled a little and gently lifted his lovers chin with his fingertips. "I love you, Lex Luthor. I'll never leave you."

Lex lifted wet eyes to his lover, and pressed a soft, desperate kiss to Clark's lips. "I'll never leave you, Clark Kent."

"Good. Good, baby. Good. I love you, so much."

Lex petted and stroked restlessly over his lover's arms and back. "I love you, Clark. I love you more than anything else in this world. Please, please believe that."

"I do. I believe. I believe you, Lex." Clark whispered, softly, gently, as he cupped his lovers face. "I see in your heart, and I know. Come here...come on, get closer to me. We'll lay here, today."

Lex scooted close, pressed skin to skin to as much of Clark's body as he could touch, curled into and around him. "If I got any closer I'd be in your skin," Lex whispered. "Not a bad place to be." He wrapped himself around Clark, and let his head lay on Clark's shoulder.

"You were in my skin last night." Clark reminded softly, as he pressed gentle, warm kisses over his lovers face.

"Yeah... I was." Lex rubbed his leg over Clark's, slowly calming himself with his lover's skin. "I wouldn't mind crawling inside your skin again. I feel whole when I'm with you like this."

"I know. I like it when you are, when you feel whole, because when you do, I do." Clark whispered, quietly, lovingly. "I love you, Lex. I love you, so much. A year and a half ago I wouldn't have even considered it. The person I used to know, and the person I know now… they're different. I'm different."

"We're both different, but we're still the same, too." Lex stroked over his lover's face. "We're still the same people, but we've made each other new again, too." He sighed. "I can't imagine the person I was feeling like this about you."

"Me neither. Definitely." Clark pressed his lips against his lover's face, temple, cheek and chin. "Can I change the subject? For a little while?"

He nodded. "You can. In fact, I'd like if you did."

He nodded, against his lovers face, tenderly. "Whitney asked me if having sex with Chloe is okay. Is it okay?"

Teeny smile. "Yeah. It's okay. Chloe asked the same thing, and yes, it's okay. It's actually, in the later months, a recommended method of inducing labor."

"That's what I told her. I think Whitney was scared of giving the baby bruises. And you know, with his cock the size of my damn arm, it was a possibility."

Lex gave a little snicker. "It's not quite the length of your arm, but it's close." A kiss to his shoulder.

"So the baby won't get his eyes poked out?"

"No, he won't. The baby will be okay."

"Okay. I'll tell them." He ever so gently stroked over his lovers pale skin. "I love you, Lex. I love you."

"I love you." Lex was calmly quiet against his lover's shoulder. "I'm sorry I flipped out on you."

"Had a right to, baby." He whispered, quietly. "Had every right to. I did, too."

Lex curled up around Clark. "I think we're going to be okay, now," he said quietly. "We've both had our flipping out sessions, and we've both come out on the other side of it." Tight squeeze. "We're going to be okay."

"Uh… no. Rephrase. You flipped out. I had manly tears." Clark snorted, though he squeezed him right back with a grin.

-fin-

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