The Memoirs

Pete was still in quiet shock. So much so, that he hadn't even noticed it was Celine Dion on the radio on his way home. His eyes were in twin saucers, throat bobbing, and all he could think, as he parked the Ross's station wagon in the driveway was..

Yeah. Chloe, had been hurt.

But, more shocking than that?

Pete had caught Berluce and a white doctor, a male doctor, making out in the second floor bathroom.

Berluce. The brother who had supposedly impregnated two girls, who was a rave on campus... was gayer than Pete. And that was saying something!

He put it as far back in his mind as he could, shuddering softly as he pocketed the keys, and opened the front door to his house. It was running rampant, screaming, yelling from the kids, and Pete rose a hand to his mom, who looked at him with sympathy in his eyes, as he dashed upstairs. It was already nearing eleven, and he'd gone to check on Chloe and Whitney, leaving his girlfriend in the Ross household.

It was a bit calmer, now that CJ was back at school, but not by much. Dogwood was staying for a few extra weeks, to really gussy up Lionel and Dominic's nursery, and Berluce had decided to transfer to stay in Smallville as an intern for LuthorCorp.

Yeah. Now Pete knew WHY.

He shuddered, softly, and carefully opened his bedroom door. It was quiet, er anyway, and he slipped in and closed and locked the door behind him. "Shay?"

The little lump on Pete's bed waved weakly. She'd hidden up here, pretty much alone except for the few minutes that Jack had brought himself and his Cheerios box up here to cheer her up. Which had worked, a little bit, but then Sam had come and chased the baby out of the room, and she'd curled back up on Pete's pillow and had another cry.

What felt like the hundredth cry she'd had that day.

She'd almost seen her best friend die. Almost seen her best friends lose their baby.

There had been so much blood, and she could still smell it, still taste the copper in the back of her mouth, and no matter how many times she gagged, it was still there.

Pete carefully gazed at his girlfriend for a long moment, before slipping around the bed. He gently, very gently, sat on the edge, and took in the hundred tissues sitting littered on his night table, and the pillow and blankets tucked up under a pretty chin, and all he could do was lean over and gently kiss her softly. "Feeling better baby?"

"Nod reereey," she answered, through a nose stuffed up from crying so much. "How'b Chloe?"

"She's okay." He whispered, and gently stroked over her hair. "Whitney and Clark had an argument, though he wouldn't talk about it. They're doing fine, don't worry. Chloe... she's asleep, but the doctor said she's... well, she's just fine, and she can go home tomorrow."

Hard blow of her nose to clear it. "Dat's good." Sniffle. "I'll call Mister Sullibun later and see if I can helb."

"Okay." He carefully smiled and reached over for the glass of OJ his mom had brought up before he left, offering it. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, baby."

Shayla blew her nose again, finally clearing her head out. "It's okay. You didn't know anything was going to happen, and I don't blame you for not wanting to go baby shopping--or, hell, any kind of shopping--with us two girls."

"Had to get our registration finished for the competition...I bought your dance shoes, in dark red, too, just incase you change your mind last minute." He rubbed his thick fingers, almost hating how masculine and clumsy they were, through her hair gently. "We just have to keep extra care with Chloe, okay? Lots of relaxation and bed rest, so none of your adventures, at least not for a few weeks."

She suddenly flung her arms around Pete's shoulders and hugged. "I love you. You're too good. I mean, you let me hide in your room and cry all over your pillowcase and you go and check on my best friend for me and everything!"

"She's my best friend, too." Pete murmured, but he smiled a little and hugged her, cause, yeah, Shay hugs were not bad at all. "I don't mind the crying. Snot, possibly, but crying? Nah." He smiled and stroked through her hair again. "I just didn't want you to have to be in that empty, drafty castle all night, with Clark and Lex all pissed off."

She just hugged him tighter then. "Morgan's gone, and Lindy's out in her new place, Mom's staying at the hotel again because Morgan's gone, Graham's in his new place with Toni and nobody thought about me but you!!" She squeezed him harder. "And Chloe almost died and I called Lex first and what if it'd been my fault for not calling the paramedics first, huh? She might be home right now if I hadn't called Lex first and why the hell are they fighting anyway?"

"Dominic's in Ireland, yep, Lindy lives down the street, your mom is weird, and Mr. Senatori and Ms. Toni are really cute." Pete said in order, smiling again, gently, as he stroked her hair, though the smile faded away a moment later. "Its not your fault. You did the right thing… Lex saved her life, sweetie. That's what Whit and Clark argued about... did I tell you I dig being in on the loop now? Anyway, it was all about something like, an argument Clark and Lex were having, a mind sift or something, and it nearly caused Chloe to lose the baby. Didn't get the details."

Shayla just choked on her hiccup. "It's not Lex's fault! He's been trying!! That's why we were puppy sitting and he was taking care of Chloe when Whitney was out of it, and it just wasn't his fault!!"

"Don't know honey. Won't get into it. What's done is between them, and they'll do what they feel they should. Don't get in the middle of it baby, okay?" Pete carefully stroked over her neck, down her back, and away. "So. Want to hear some gossip?"

"No getting into it. Unless I'm asked my opinion. I promise." She snuggled up beside him, and snuffled again. "I love gossip."

"My brother is gay. Very… very gay. So said the kissing."

She blinked. "Which brother? You've got more than one."

"Berluce."

"Bear?"

"Bear." He affirmed, and shook his head. "In about ten minutes he's gonna come home and try to punch my skull in for finding him and his doctor boyfriend, but hellooo nurse. Something I didn't need to see."

"Bear. With the girlfriend and the marathon jack-off sessions and the pregnant girl, Bear?"

"All. Lies." Pete affirmed, eyebrow raised.

"Wow, yeah, that's news." She blinked. "Which doctor?"

"You bet your ass it is. I wish he'd told me, but Bear doesn't talk about that stuff. From what I gathered, they've known each other for a long time... a LONG time. This guy's been the one he's talking to every night, dude, not some chic." Pete shook his head, and lay back on the bed beside his girlfriend. "Some guy, didn't catch his name, but he was wearing a lab coat and stethoscope."

"Hence the Doctor part." Then she sat up so fast, she almost banged her head on the headboard. "IT'S THE OB/GYN!!!!!"

"What?!" His eyes widened, as he sat up. "Shay, you're gonna give yourself a fuckin' concussion baby, even with all the sniffles you got."

"The OB!!! Okay. Okay. Toni's seein' the same one that Mrs. Kent and Chloe is, but she's on vacation, and they've got the replacement in there. His name is Dr. Billy Villawhosawhatsis, and he's gay!!!!!!!!!" Bouncing on the bed. "Toni says he's a real flamer, but nice as pie."

"Black hair, goatee?" Pete asked, eyebrows up. Holy fuck.

"Yep, that's the one."

"Dude. Shay." Pete lay back down again, running it over in his head. "It feels...weird, you know?"

She laid back down beside him. "Weird how? Knowing that you're not the only one in the family?"

"Yeah." he rolled his head to one side. "You don't know this, and you promise not to say anything, but Dogwood's bi."

Shayla just rolled her eyes. "Tell me somethin' I hadn't already figured out."

He smiled, a little, softly. "Yeah. He told me about it, said he liked it... it was kinda... yeah. But anyway, hey." He smiled and picked up a bag off the floor with his bare foot, cause he'd kicked his sandals off, and set the bag on Shayla's belly. "I checked out seven romcom's, baby. Enough Sleepless in Seattle When Harry Met Sally trumph fest to really make my brain implode, but, anyway."

She made a little face, but her insides went all gooey because they were her weak spot. She smacked a loud kiss onto his cheek, and grinned. "Did you get Sense and Sensibility?"

"Of course I did. And tomorrow, being Saturday, means you and Chloe are gonna have a chick fest. Complete with cookies, candy, and pizza."

Big innocent eyes at him.

"Shay, I bend to a lot, and I do mean, a lot, but I will not break my solemn vow of five years. The last chick flick I saw was Titanic. Please don't make me kill myself!"

More big eyes at him, and a little bat of her eyelashes.

"Shaaay." WHINE.

"Peeeeeeeteeeeeeee!" More whine.

How could he say no to that? Holy crap. "Fine. Alright? Fine! But you owe me HUGE! I'm talking, huge!" He glared, as much as he could, even as his lips twitched and he kissed her cheek as they stared at the ceiling. "I took off your sister. How does the Calvin Klein model look? I think I put him up crooked."

"I think he's got a bigger crotch bulge than Whitney." She leaned over and nuzzled into his neck. "I owe you huge."

"Of course you do. And of course he does. Check out those thighs. I call him Tim. Tim... needs a boyfriend. Roger. Who is currently on the inside of my closet door, wearing nothing but a thong."

"Tim and Roger, huh?" she snickered. "Pete, baby... you have too many thoughts."

"I know." Shy little smile at her, as he squeezed her hand. "I love you, Shay."

She squeezed back, and hooked a leg over his thighs. "I love you too, baby." Her free hand came up to stroke over his shoulder. "You're a good man, Pete."

"Mmm." He took her hand, gently in his, and squeezed it. "After your movie fest tomorrow... want to go out to get some dinner with me?"

Shy little grin. "You askin' me out on a date, Mr. Ross?"

"If you're free for the evening, I'd be much obliged." Shy, soft smile.

"Well... I can safely say... I have absolutely no plans at all. Well, I take it back. I had intended to try and seduce this innocent young man I know... but I think dinner sounds like a much better plan to me." She grinned into his neck.

He snorted, and tsked, wickedly, as he rolled onto his side to look at her from across his pillow. "Shaaay, Shay, Shay. Look at that, I leave you alone and you already find yourself another innocent victim!"

"Victim? I think not." She turned onto her side, so they were face to face, almost nose to nose. "Those who fall to my charms don't usually complain." Soft snicker. "At least, so says the one and only who has."

"I gotta tell you, that guy has got to be one lucky stuff, for having you." He gently, carefully, rubbed her hip, a sweat pant covered hip, and smiled softly. "Feel better?"

"Yeah... kinda do." She grinned, then bit the tip of his nose. "Thanks."

He donned a horribly fake, phony accent. "U em 'ere but to serve!"

She busted out laughing at the horrible accent, and smacked him across the face with her pillow. "That was horrible!!"

"I know." Amused smile, that had him carefully rubbing over her lips as she laughed. "Come on. I know you already ate... mom won't mind if you sleep over, I don't think. She kinda knows we're having sex, and since she hasn't castrated me yet, I'm sure she'll let you stay."

Deep red blush. "Um... I kinda already asked her if I could. She said it was okay as long as I ate something for dinner because I look like I'm going to blow away on the next strong wind."

"Yes, you do." Though his smile was amused. "Since you haven't eaten, that's good… we'll order a pizza and have a little sleepover. As long as you don't mind sharing my bed," he waved a hand over his double bed. "Or my snoring.."

She leaned forward at that, and kissed him, softly, but firmly. "I've never minded sharing your bed," she said softly.

"I never minded sharing it with you, either." Pete smiled, and kissed her right back. "Moms got burgers downstairs. Go get something, okay? I'm not hungry… I'm just gonna get some PJ's on and get the bed turned back, now that the little ones are in bed."

"Okay." She smiled softly. "I'll probably eat downstairs, so I don't get crumbs in your bed, and besides, I know your Mom'll want to make sure I'm not crying anymore."

"Okay." A soft smile at her. "I love you, Shay."

"I love you too, Pete." She squeezed his hand as she rolled out of the bed. "You sure you don't need anything?"

"I'm positive." A quiet smile at her, as he rolled off the sheets himself and tugged his sweaty shirt up. "Bring me back a glass of juice or somethin', if you don't mind?"

"You got it. I'll bring it up as soon as I'm done." As he pulled up the shirt, she leaned forward, and licked quickly over his chest. "Kay. I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay." Softly, as he shivered from the wet trail her tongue had left, and smiled warmly as she jumped out of the room.

- = - = -

Lex had been trying to sleep. He had been; his body needed it and his mind wanted it. But he couldn't. Not even with three warm puppy bodies and a furry cat piled up around him. Cleo had sprawled on his hip, Samson at his shoulder, and Artie over his belly, and Freddie was curled up on the pillow at the top of his head.

Warm, furry, unconditional love surrounded him on all sides, and he couldn't feel a bit of it. He just cried quietly into the pillow. He'd heard every word that Whitney had said to Clark, despite the fact his lover had tried to shield him from it, and the truth of it had just made him feel worse and worse. Lex, who had never cried since he was a child, only cried when he had lost his son, cried now.

Because there was nothing left inside of him that didn't ache.

Clark had listened to his lover sob every moment of the run home. He had stopped by his parents house, just to make sure they were alright, and when he saw the lights off, the porch light on, he knew they were already in bed. Passed through Kent land, across Riley field, and made it home in record time.

He shucked his muddy shoes off at the door and walked quietly through the house, leaving his shoes in the laundry room, as well as his top shirt in his laundry basket, and walked up the stairs quietly.

His lover was sobbing, and his throat constricted tightly as he stepped through the door. Seeing his lover piled in with little animals didn't do anything to make him less sad, and he slipped into the bed and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around his lovers long back. "I love you, Lex."

Lex didn't open his eyes, but his body melted back into his lover, and he swallowed down the next little cry so he could speak. "I love you, Clark."

"Don't let what anyone says hurt you." He whispered, and flicked Freddie off with a tap of his paw, moving Cleo so he could wrap his arms around his lovers waist, and drag him close. His heart ached for Lex, for what had transpired today, and he almost wished he could close his eyes and wish this day back. But he couldn't. So he didn't do anything, as the sky rumbled and the soft rain outside picked up. "Baby, I love you."

Freddie gave a little hiss and moved over a little, curling around the warm puppy body at Lex's shoulder instead.

"But it's true," Lex said softly. "It's nothing more than I said to myself, nothing more than I said to YOU."

"He had no right." Clark whispered, softly. "Its not true. Lex, you're not an evil creature, you're not a mean creature at all. You didn't know. Baby, when I get my powers... when I make mistakes, I don't listen to what people say. I just try harder, and master them. Please, you can't give up on me, you can't resign yourself to thinking they're... right."

He found Clark's hands around his waist. "Clark, I'm not giving up on you. Just on me. I never should have tried to do this. I never should have had these powers in the first place, and I never should have tried to develop them. I'm not you, I'm not like you, I don't have your strength. This is way beyond my control, and I never should have tried."

"Yes, you should have. How, how will you ever know yourself if you don't try?" Clark asked, eyebrows knit tightly. "How will you ever know yourself if you don't look at what's inside you?"

"I never cared what was inside me. I never gave a damn until I met you. I don't care anymore, Clark. I'll shove it down as far as I can and never use it again. I almost hurt you, I did hurt Chloe, God only knows who else I may have hurt and don't know it."

Clark couldn't argue with his lover anymore. He saw that he had made up his mind, and the one thing that was impossible to mess with was Lex when he'd made up his mind. There was no changing it. Ever. He just closed his eyes, to keep himself in check, and wrapped his arms a little tighter around his lovers waist. "I'll support you in anything you do."

"I know you will." Lex stayed pressed against his lover, soaking in warmth and heat from Clark's body as the puppies snored against him. "Is she really okay?"

"Yes." His throat felt like there was a boulder lodged in it. "She's fine. Sleeping, when I saw her."

"Good. I'll send her flowers in the morning, maybe something beautiful too." Tightened his grip on his hands. "I'm sorry, that you fought with Whitney. You should talk to him again; it's not good for you to be at odds with him like this."

"Why don't you go to sleep?" Clark asked, softly. "We can leave the puppies in here, if you like, but you need to rest. Tomorrow's another day."

"I've tried. I can't sleep. I want to. I need to. But I can't." He sighed and petted the puppy closest to his hand. "Don't take them."

"I won't." He was at the end of his tether, because today… had been the worst day he'd had since Mar had died. He hated knowing that his pain had caused all of this, and he vowed to himself, quietly in that moment, that he'd never speak of his pain again. No more, because when he did, this happened, *this*, where their sha'nauch were estranged to them, Lex was throwing away an intensely beautiful gift, closing it off, even now so that Clark didn't feel the beautiful connection to him any longer, just the one he sustained from his own mind. And a quiet weight was rolled back onto his shoulders as he stroked his lovers head. "Sleep, aushna'. Sleep, please. I see how tired you are."

"I know you're disappointed in me," Lex said quietly, tightening his grip on Cleo and snuggling her close to his cheek. "I never wanted to disappoint you, out of all people in the world."

"I'm not disappointed. Hush, now. Go to sleep, Lex."

Cleo kicked her foot out a little, flicked her tail, and snuggled in against the warm fuzzy, heaving a sleepy puppy sigh.

"I can feel it," Lex said softly. "You're disappointed, you're angry, and you're blaming yourself."

"I'm none of those things, Lex." Quiet answer to the quiet question. "I'm sad, aushna'. Very, very sad."

"I hate when you're sad." Lex turned onto his back, so that he was nestled against Clark, but his eyes were still closed. "Don't be sad."

"I'll try. Go to sleep." Another soft stroke over a bald head, fingertips trailing the tracks of tears. "Go to sleep, my love."

He sighed. "It hurts, to feel you sad. You're blaming yourself... Clark, you didn't cause this. At all. I did."

Clark didn't answer. He just rolled out of bed, tugged his jeans off, his shirt, and because there were puppies asleep on their bed, left his boxers on, and crawled under the sheets and blankets. He slipped in close to his aushna', gently cradling him close, and closed his eyes. "Sleep."

A soft little growl. "Stop that, Clark."

Too late. He was already falling asleep, because his body couldn't take it anymore today. He was exhausted, in every way possible, and he shifted against his lover for a moment, and lay back against his side.

Lex turned back over to accommodate Clark's shifting bulk, and pressed back tightly against his lover. He drew Clark's arms back around his waist, and sighed.

He was terrified of doing what he was about to do, but he did it anyway. He took a deep breath, and slid carefully along the link to his lover until he could feel the sorrow, pain, and anger, and ever so slowly, he started siphoning it out of his lover, and into himself.

"Stop." Mental block, against the very thing Lex was doing, without opening his eyes. "Stop."

"Please, let me." Lex said it softly. "You're hurting because of me. Let me help."

"I hurt for us. I love you, so much, Lex. Please...I need to sleep and forget this day ever happened, and I can't when you're going in and tugging things out."

"Fuck." Lex swore softly, and picked Cleo up carefully, situating her on his pillow as he sat up. He'd known he shouldn't have tried to use them again, and look what had happened. "I'm going to take another shower. See if that helps."

"Lex." But he couldn't stop him, and Clark just closed his eyes again. It was like out of a nightmare. Everything had been going so good, and now... it was a wreck again, and he didn't know what to do to make it better. He needed Lionel and Dominic to come home, so they could be here and be a support. Now... he didn't even have his sha'nauch, and Clark felt so deeply alone, as he watched his lover walk towards the bathroom. His heart ached for him, for his precious love, but he was too tired, and too wrung out, to do anything but close his eyes and attempt to sleep.

Lex stripped on his way to the bathroom, and was naked by the time he padded into the shower. He turned the water on, let it run until it was steaming, and then closed the little door behind him. He sat down on the floor of the stall, bending his head, letting it rest on upraised knees.

And then heard a voice in the back of his head.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Oakenep-El. The chosen one of my son accepts responsibility for his actions as well as realizing when he can and cannot control them. If you are truly worthy of my son, truly worthy of being his aushna', you will show it. You will not shame the name of El.

Lex didn't raise his head when he recognized Jor-El's voice. Didn't even bother to ask how; assumed he heard it through Clark's head instead of his own. But Jor-El was right. He was feeling sorry for himself, and it was going to stop. Clark had enough of a burden as it was; he didn't need Lex's self-pity added onto it. He stood up in the shower, turned the water off, and reached for the towel hanging over the rack and got out.

Clark sat for a moment, watching his dogs sleep like they were the royal court, and when he finally decided to get up, he was awake again, and aware. He knocked, quietly, on the bathroom door, and spoke through it. "Lex? I'm going to go swim for a while, okay? I'll be down in the pool if you need me."

"Give me a minute, and I'll go with you?" He made the statement a question as he dried off.

"Okay." Clark didn't own a single pair of swim trunks, but he decided wearing boxers, or wearing nothing, would work. So he just walked into the closet and got a t-shirt, and his flip flops, pulling his shirt on. "Lex, get some towels, too."

"There's some warm ones down in the pool house." He creaked the door open. "They stay in the warming box, so whenever we get out, they'll be warm and ready to wrap up in." Little, little smile. "You don't have to wear anything."

"Okay." A little smile back, as he glanced back at the puppies, and at Freddies glistening eyes. "Hey, Fred. Go back to sleep, kay?" He walked across the room as his lover finished, and gently pet the little baby.

Sleep. With this racket? Yeah. Right. Freddie just started licking his paws, and rubbing behind his ears, occasionally punctuated with a big, sharp-toothed yawn.

Lex came out of the bathroom a moment later in a purple silk robe, green dragon embroidered on the breast, and he had a longer, blue one draped over his arm. "Here. Try this on. I've been saving it for a special occasion, but I think tonight qualifies."

Clark looked up, mid rub of Freddie's little head, and climbed to his feet to take it. "What is it?"

Lex shrugged his shoulders, so the robe he was wearing rippled.

Clark took it and opened it out. It was a silky robe, just like Lex's, and he looked over it softly, over the wrap waist and the little emblem on the breast. "its beautiful, Lex. Thank you." He wasn't a robe guy, cause he was way too big and they looked way weird on him, but he pulled it on anyway, and gazed downward. "Do I look like a giant?"

Lex gave a little snicker. The robe fell, instead of past his knees where it was supposed to fall, right between knee and thigh. "You look gay. But don't worry; we'll have it let out and made a little longer for you."

Clark snorted, and tugged the robe off, setting it instead in the closet, on its own hanger. "Come on, I'll survive without a robe. Lets go swim for a while. Even though you need to sleep."

"I'll sleep when we come back up." He nodded. "I'm sorry, about before. I was feeling sorry for myself."

"Don't be. I'm feeling sorry for you, too." A little smile covered his face, and he tentatively offered his hand. "And feeling sorry for me, too. I just wish... you wouldn't decide to throw your powers away. They're a burden, one which I could tell you all about. But they're also a great gift, too. You don't realize what a gift they are until stuff happens, and you're able to save people just by what you can do."

Lex took Clark's hand softly. "Don't feel sorry for me." He squeezed. "And don't feel sorry for yourself. I won't... I won't let my gift die. Your father was right about that. I can't let feeling sorry for myself get in the way."

My father?" Clarks eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah." Another little squeeze, and then his face furrowed. "You didn't... you weren't talking to him while I was in the shower?"

"No, I wasn't." He shook his head in quiet amazement, as he picked up their towels and led his lover from their bedroom, jerking a shoulder back at the table the ship was serving as. "Its been right there, baby." He glanced at him. "You heard him?"

"Yeah, I did. I heard him. He talked to me, in my head." A pause as he realized how odd that sounded. "He said that I had to stop feeling sorry for myself, because I couldn't control it. And that I had to be strong, to be worthy of you and not shame the name of El."

Clark took another backwards glance at the ship, and his eyebrows furrowed. "That's weird. But… Lex? Can we just… not? Lets just swim, and come to bed. I dont want to think anymore today."

Lex nodded. "Yeah. I can get on board with that." He tightened his grip on Clark's fingers. "I do love you. Thank you, for letting me feel sorry for myself."

"Take all the time you need." He squeezed back. "Just please… understand it wasn't your fault, Lex. It wasn't." A moment. "You and your dad are so much alike, its scary. You have to do what he did--don't let yourself get twisted out of shape for something that wasn't your fault. Accept it, and move on."

Lex wanted to protest that he was nothing like his father, but he knew that Clark was right. "You're right," he said aloud. "It was my fault--I let myself get out of control, and people got hurt. But I can't blame myself for it any longer."

Clark nodded, and squeezed his lovers hand tightly in his own. "And you were ten times easier to convince than he was, too."

Lex had to laugh softly at that. "And you're surprised?

"Of course not. You don't have fifty years of stubborn pride behind you." Clark smiled, gently, the first smile of the day, and kissed his lovers temple softly before the smile fell away. "Whitney is very upset."

"He has a right to be," Lex said softly. "I'll go and talk to him in the morning."

"No... he doesn't." And this was where the anger came in. "He doesn't have the right. For the past two months he's barely remembered she's alive. He's barely looked at her, stayed away from her, contemplated leaving her and his child, still inside of her body. No, he doesn't have any right to try and keep you, YOU who have taken care of her, took her to buy things, loved her, from stopping to see her. He doesn't have any right, not any at all, because you love Chloe, too."

Lex gripped Clark's shoulder tightly. "No, Clark. He does have the right. Because he lost the only parent he had left. I don't--I *won't*--begrudge him time to mourn. All he knows is, she is the only good thing he has left, and because of me, she was almost lost, too. I don't blame him at all for being angry."

His eyebrows lowered, and he scowled, darkly. "I don't care. I'm still angry at him, because he took her for granted, and you know that like I do."

"Yes, maybe he did, but you know that now, he won't. Ever again."

Clark still growled quietly as he pushed open the door to the pool house.

And immediately wished he didn't.

"Ah! Soor!" Enrique gasped, as he grabbed a towel. He had been swimming with the beautiful, lustrous, gorgeous, luminous Rosalyn. Thankfully, both wearing clothes this time, and he scrambled from the pool quickly, offering a hand down to his girlfriend. "I em... so sorree!"

Rosalyn took the hand offered to her and rose gracefully from the pool, dripping water on the poolside deck as she wrapped the towel around her and sniffed at the two young boys.

Lex was chuckling. Loudly. "Enrique, it's quite all right. You're welcome to the pool ay time you'd like, just... please. If you're going to have sex, don't do it in the water."

"No!!!!" Horrified face. "No seex!" He grabbed Rosalyn's hand and dragged her towards the doors. "Sorreee!"

Clark just... mouth dropped. Rosalyn, for being Lionel's age, was a fox. Not that he'd ever say it. Ew. But still! Wow. But ew! And he looked over his shoulder as the little Latin man and Rosalyn scuttled past. Mouth. Open.

Lex just laughed all the harder. "Sorry to disturb you, Enrique!!"

Rosalyn sniffed again. "At least it wasna Morgan this time."

Clark's eyes were just enormous in his head as he watched the little Latin man and his girlfriend ran off into the hall and up the stairs, and he just... bit his lip, tightly, to keep the laugh in. "What... the fuck… was that?"

"That was Enrique and Rosalyn foreplay, I believe."

Wide eyes. "That's the grossest thing I've ever seen in my entire life."

Lex just raised an eyebrow. "Worse than seeing your parents on the kitchen counter?" Couldn't help twisting the proverbial knife just a bit.

A blink. "No. No, I gotta say, that was grosser." He just shook his head, made a face at the door, and set his favorite towel on one of the benches by the pool. He stripped out of his shirt, and because he didn't want to be caught unawares by anyone, left his boxers on. He pushed out of his sandals and looked at his lover, waiting for him.

Lex let the purple robe slither down his body and reveal his nakedness from the shower, and he carefully laid the robe over the bench beside his lover's clothes, and gave a little smile before diving into the pool.

Oh. Okay. Maybe if Lex was going to be naked, Clark could be too. He carefully stripped out of his boxers and walked to the edge of the pool... feeling strangely, very naked, and he quickly slid in, to cover some of it. He got in on the deep end, carefully sliding in, and walked towards the shallow end, where he felt a little safer. He... wasn't much for water. Didn't like it, too much, not when it was in big expanses like this. He'd start getting shaky, looking all over for something to grab onto, and it just wasn't pretty.

Lex, on the other hand, could have had fins, scales and gills. He loved the water, loved the freedom he felt as he cut through the warm water towards the shape of his lover, wading in the shallow end. His body cut a flip in the water as he surfaced near his lover, treading water as it sheeted off his scalp.

"Show off." But it was said with a smile, as he dipped down to get his hair wet, and came up, rubbing the water out of his eyes. He pushed off from the wall, as well, and began slow, easy laps, near the edge of the wall, but not too close. "Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"Phillip," came the surprising answer. "He's a Navy SEAL. He taught me how to fight, and how to swim, and basic first aid. The rest of it, I learned from Toby, and then the med school courses."

"Med school courses?" surprised blink, as he kept doing his laps, and when he'd reached the deep end, pushed off with his feet to swim back towards the other side.

"Yeah, I took a year of med school, before I got jerked out by Dad and sent to Princeton instead. It's just one of the many degrees that I never got to finish, but I learned more than I realized, because when you get into molecular biology and research courses... you learn a lot of the same stuff, only a little more detailed." Another shrug, and he let his body float on top of the water.

Not for the first time, Clark understood the depths of his lover's intelligence, and felt... mildly humbled by it. "I wish you'd go back. To med school. LuthorCorp isn't where you're supposed to be."

Lex rolled his eyes. "I'm not cut out to be a doctor, Clark. Not like Toni. No. Med school is nothing but a lark. Just... something I did when I was younger because I wanted to find a way to help my mother. And it never happened in time. Now? I'm happier where I'm at." A sigh, and he paddled over to his lover. "You know, when you go back, I've been thinking about it. Finish at least one of the doctorates I've got waiting."

"You should." He smiled at his lover and ripped his head, as he floated over to the stairs to come down into the pool, and sat on them, the little water tide sloshing onto his belly. "It'd be a good choice for you. Unless you do want to be in LuthorCorp the rest of your life."

Lex went back to floating, right in front of his lover. "I'm not sure which I'll finish first. But Dad's already brought up the idea, and I don't necessarily think that it's a bad one. Dad's got his own doctorate, in biochemical engineering." Quiet sigh. "I might finish my own biochemistry degree, and see if I can't double it with molecular bioengineering." A little grimace. "Sadly, neither of the programs are available at Metropolis University."

"You do what's right for you." Clark answered, as he rubbed the water from his eyes. "Don't let anything or anyone hold you back."

"The only thing that's holding me back is the fact that I refuse to be separated from you. Don't worry, Clark. I've been looking into it, and considering my father holds the executive chair at both Princeton and Harvard, they're both willing to offer satellite classes at the University of my choosing. I can sit the exams at Metropolis University as well, and while I will have to make three trips to Boston for two lectures and a workshop... you can come along."

He smiled, a little, and softly, at him. "We're not thinking right now. Remember?" He leaned forward and kissed him, carefully, before pushing off from the wall again. He swam half the length of the pool, paddling quietly, listening to the water splashing, and sighed softly. "Not thinking about anything but this. We can think of the future, and our problems, later."

"Right, we're not thinking. Sorry." Little grin. "I'm so used to constantly thinking, it's kind of hard not to."

A little smile back, as he floated backwards, kicking his legs quietly. "I know, but try. I don't want to think about anything right now."

"Got it." Lex dove under the surface, cutting quickly through the water to surface right beside his lover, and then boosted himself up on Clark. "sssh, this works." He pulled Clark's arms around his waist, and he floated on his lover as though he were nothing but a Clark-shaped raft.

Clark nearly went under, but then when his lover shhed him, he held on, swallowing as he held him. "Okay, get off. I hate deep water, and if you make me drown, I'm kicking your ass." He said it with a smile, and pulled his lover off to swim again.

Lex rolled off his lover with a laugh, and took a deep breath. Holding it, he dove back under the surface and stroked to the deep end of the pool, where he floated on top of the water and started stroking himself.

Clark swam out a little while, pushing against the sides of the pool, and when he realized, minutes later, that his lover wasn't making any noise, he turned his eyes around... and let them go wide, as he lost his momentum and ducked down under the water. He kicked up instinctively, coughing and spluttering, and his eyes went wide as he looked at his lover.

Lex was still floating on the surface of the water, his hand stroking over his cock with long, gentle swipes as his body was buffeted by the soft lapping of the water in the pool. His eyes were closed, and his legs were slightly spread, and the surface tension of the water supported and caressed his larger frame.

Well aware that Clark was looking at him, able to see what he looked like through Clark's eyes, and he continued stroking.

"What... are you doing?" Clark whispered, softly.

"There are quite a few metaphors for it, Clark, but in this case, I'm enhancing my calm. It's a meditative technique. Arouse your body, calm your mind, and you enjoy both more. Not quite Transcendentalism, but a little Zen Buddhistic, as when you can only achieve the ultimate pleasure--Nirvana--when your mind is at peace." Soft chuckle. "Says nothing about the state of your body."

He blinked. Didn't catch a word. Gobildy gobildy Zen goo. He just watched, carefully, as his lover stroked, fingers tight around himself, and swallowed. His lover was lovely when he gave himself pleasure, absolutely amazing, and he made a quiet noise of pleasure as he watched his beautiful lover. "You're... you look so good, baby." He whispered, whimpered really, and caught the end of the pool so he wouldn't drown.

Lex just laughed softly, and kept his hand stroking firmly, in long, measured strokes that started at the base and ended at the crown, a brief squeeze to the slitted tip, and then back down to the base. "You don't look too bad yourself, Clark."

He swallowed, and even though it was the hardest thing he ever had to do, he carefully paddled over, and covered his fingers over Lex's, gently. "Lex? Can... can we not? I mean... I want you to… but I can't." Not after Whitney, Chloe, and Lex today. No way. "Can I just watch?"

Lex opened his eyes, at that, and looked at his lover. Scoured Clark's eyes with his own. "We don't have to at all; do you want me to stop?"

"No." He whispered, softly, and grasped his lovers waist a little so he wouldn't sink to the bottom. "I don't want you to stop. I just... I don't know if I can get it up, and I don't want you to feel... disappointed, like you're anything but attractive and beautiful to me." He swallowed softly, quietly, and stroked his lovers face softly. "I don't want you to hide your feelings behind your cock."

Lex shook his head softly. "I don't think that, Clark. Yes... I was hoping to tease you into making love to me, I won't lie, and my reasons... I'm sure are less than pure, if I stopped to look at them. But I don't think that you think I'm ugly or anything, and I don't think I'm hiding behind anything."

For the first time in his young life, it shamed him to know his cock wasn't going to come up, no matter how much he goaded it into doing so. "If I make love to you, I'll hurt you. There's to much going on inside right now, Lex. I don't trust myself."

Lex gave a sad smile as he paddled over to the side of the pool, and boosted himself up to sit on the edge, hands on Clark's shoulders as he leaned forward and rubbed his cheek against his lover's. "I trust you, even when you don't trust yourself. But I understand."

Clark waded after, gently, and when his lover came up, he slipped between those soft, pale thighs. "But... just because I don't trust myself... it doesn't mean..." A soft, wicked dimple winked in one cheek, as he leaned across to lick the tip of a firm cock, lapping around it... before sliding forward, and letting it come into his mouth.

Lex sighed once, in absolute pleasure, and then put his hands on Clark's cheeks, gently nudging him back. "No, aushna'. Not if you won't let me return it. Not if you aren't going to share in it. I won't let you pleasure me with nothing for yourself."

"There's something I haven't taught you yet, Lex...because there hasn't been a need." Clark murmured, his lovers cock stroking across his cheek, as he washed his hot breath over it, and gave it kisses and licks, scrapes with his teeth. "Your pleasure is my pleasure."

Lex couldn't stop the shudders each time Clark's teeth dragged over him, couldn't stop the little whimpers that came out when Clark kissed and licked him. "You... you can't."

"I can't what? Do this?" As easily as water Clark swallowed his lover down his throat, hands coming up to brace thighs as he sucked his lover. Hard, even sucks, little licks on every stroke up and a wash of hot breath on his way down.

Whatever protest Lex was going to make, he lost it when Clark sucked him down. His hands tightened on the sides of his lover's head, tugging gently, fingers stroking through curls that were only now starting to grow back out, and his body shuddered as his ass rubbed against the concrete of the pool deck. Soft moans of pleasure, and his head fell back as he started lifting his hips.

Then a sudden cry, and he tried to wrench away. "You can't, you can't, you can't let me use you, Clark, please!!"

Clark pulled away, swallowing and looking up with wide eyes as he rubbed his mouth dry of the spit he'd nearly dribbled, and his brows furrowed. "You're not using me. You'd be using me if I was some cheap slut you found in a club. But I'm not. I am aushna', and its okay, baby, to give these things. Let me lavish my attention on you, let me make you come, and then I'll give you a massage."

Lex rubbed Clark's cheeks with his thumb, stroking in wide, aimless circles as he listened. Not just to what Clark was saying, but to what he was feeling. "I don't... I don't want to use you. I love you... I love you too much."

"You're not using me. I am giving to you, aushna'." Clark whispered, as he pressed a kiss to the scar on the warm thigh, and then gently wrapped his fingers around the cock that had sagged a little, and stroked it back into full hardness. He stroked, more and more, until he replaced his stroking fingers with his mouth again, head bobbing softly.

Lex keened out softly as Clark kissed the scar on his thigh, and it made the others throb, the one at his throat and the one around his nipple both twitched in tandem, and he raised a hand to stroke them. The other hand cradled the back of Clark's head, and Lex scooted closer to the edge of the pool as Clark sucked him, and he whimpered softly with each pull on his cock.

Clark kept sucking, gently, though thoroughly. He brought his lover in, swirling his tongue around him, then back out in slow, gentle tandem, moving and sucking noisily but quietly. He gently stroked his lovers thigh tenderly, then over his ass, bringing him a little closer. The third lung was awesome, because Clark had held his breath the entire time, just sucking and moving, and he closed his eyes quietly as he moved.

Lex's hips started a shallow thrusting, moving his cock in Clark's mouth as his lover controlled the pace, and the fingers that had rubbed the scars were now lightly twisting his nipples, whimpers changing to moans and little grunts as he thrust into his lover's throat.

Clark looked up, mouth full, and he looked through his lovers eyes curiously. Seeing himself, mouth full of cock, eyes dancing, lips tight around a base, was really… well, hot, and he knew now what Lex felt, because he could feel his lovers arousal as he watched. Like it when I do this? Look at you like this, knowing you're inside me?

Soft cry of surprise as he felt Clark's voice in his head, and he nodded fiercely. "I love it," he panted out. "Love... love knowing... you like it too; love knowing you want me inside, as much as I want to be inside you."

I never knew what could happen, never knew how wonderful it could be, when best friends become lovers. He wrapped his fingers around his lovers cock and rose, up, climbing out of the pool to kiss his lover, deeply, gently, fingers stroking over him as he climbed onto the deck. He slipped beside his lover, gently laying his lover down on the warm towel, and lay out beside him. Instead of baring himself, he gently tucked Lex's cock between his thighs, and squeezed them tightly together, as he kissed his lover and rocked his hips forward, so Lex's cock slid between his thighs easily. "I love you." over, and over, and over, squeezing tightly and releasing.

Lex's hands went to brace on Clark's shoulders, rolling hips thrusting his cock between Clark's thighs, grunting softly at the surprising tightness that greeted him as he rocked, and he rested his head on Clark's shoulder. "I love you," Lex whispered back, arching his body so that he pressed against Clark, shuddering. "I'm sorry, for everything, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Don't think. Enjoy." Clark murmured, softly, silently into his lovers neck, as he kissed him, licked over his skin… then kissed his lips, deeply. His lovers pleasure was all that was important right now, making love as close as they ever had, flush chest to chest, belly to belly, and Clark murmured, deeply, kissing his neck, throat, shoulder. "I love you. My quand'e aushna'."

The kisses were the shattering blow for Lex's tenuous control. He came, shaking and trembling, spilling his seed all over his lover's thighs and back on his own as well. His hands dug into Clark's shoulders, clinging tightly to him, whispering apologies into his skin, over and over again.

Clark squeezed his thighs tightly together as soon as he felt his lover coming, and pressed close, belly, chest, arms, and he kissed his lover, all over, lips, cheek, chin and jaw, then as soon as the clenched jaw slackened, his lips. He dove his tongue in deep and kissed him heavily, fingers stroking over a warm, lovely back.

Lex returned the kiss deeply, sucking hard at Clark's tongue, opening everything he was as Clark tasted and delved, his own stroking against Clark's teeth, the roof of his mouth, every dip and crevice the young man possessed, Lex tasted it, devoured it, held his lover close.

As soon as their kiss was done, and Clark pulled away with their lips sticking together a little, he smiled, warmly, and rubbed his lovers cock between his thighs. "Good?"

"Beautiful," Lex murmured softly, hands stroking over Clark's hair and cheeks gently. "So beautiful."

He smiled, in joy. Who wouldn't? He gently rubbed his lips against his lovers cheeks, and kissed his chin, throat, and lips softly. "Lets go to bed, Lex. I'll give you a massage, and you can rest."

Lex's fingers still stroked over Clark's cheeks. "I love you." Couldn't say it enough to make him believe it. "I feel like... I should be doing something for you."

"Don't." He shook his head, gently, rubbing his lovers back carefully as he opened his thighs. His lover's come was dribbling down his knees, and he rubbed a fingertip through it, bringing it to his lips with a soft mm.

Lex leaned forward and lapped at the fingertip before it went into Clark's mouth, so that they could both share the taste. "I can't help it." He got up on his knees, and pushed Clark back down. "Let me clean you up, at least."

"Lex... baby, I don't want you to worry about me." But Clark couldn't say no to his lover, so he lay back against the towel and sighed at him chidingly, as he turned on his side.

"This feels right." Lex leaned over and kissed his lover deeply, then disappeared into the pool house for a moment before returning with a washcloth and a silver ice bucket full of water. He knelt down beside his lover, dampening the cloth in the bucket, and with soft, careful strokes, he wiped the remains of his orgasm away, rinsing and re-wetting the towel as many times as he needed to until Clark's lower body was clean.

Clark was peacefully quiet. He didn't anything, only sighing softly when his lover cleaned him away, and opened his thighs accordingly until he knew for sure he was clean. "Lex. Massage. Come on... lets go upstairs. You can even watch CNN while I do it."

Lex nodded shyly, used to being the center of his lovers' attentions, but not for this reason. Not because they loved him, and not because they couldn't get it up. "Okay."

Yeah, the little smile? Undid Clark. He smiled, even wider, and gently kissed his lovers nose as he rose to his feet, and offered his hand. "Come on. I'm borrowing your towel, you put your robe on, kay? What kind of oils do you have?"

Lex took Clark's hand, and pulled himself up. "What kind do you want?" Lex picked the robe up and shrugged into it, belting it around his waist and letting it fall to his knees. "I've got pretty much everything."

"Mmm... I feel like... vanilla. Or... juniper. That stuff makes me fall asleep, so it'll be good to relax you."

"I am relaxed!" Lex protested softly.

Then nearly jumped out of his skin at the feeling of something brushing up against his leg. "What the--"

Attention, please. Marquis Von Kittenstamp is in the house and requiring attention.

Clark looked down, a second from stepping on a tail, and brought his foot back right on time, half tucking the towel around his hips. "Little rodent. What're you doing here, Fred?"

Rodent? I think not. Freddie hooked his claws into the towel around Clark's waist, and launched himself at Lex, situating himself with the greatest of feline ease on Lex's shoulder, and then attached his claws into the tender flesh there, just to make sure he didn't fall off.

Lex yelped as little claws pierced his skin.

And Clark sighed, as he picked up the kitty by the scruff and set him on his own shoulder, wincing at the cuts on Lex's shoulder. "He's a little bastard. Come on, Cat Attack." Clark took his lovers hand and started out the door, keeping his towel up with his other hand as he walked.

"He's not that bad, once you get him declawed," Lex pointed out fondly. "He kind of likes me, when he's not using me for a scratching pole."

Hmph. Not quite as soft and squishy, but it'll do. Freddie curled around Clark's neck as they started walking.

Clark smiled back, as he looked across at the tiny button nose and pretty blinking eyelashes. "Maybe. But I like the puppies better. At least they don't try and claw your eyelashes out with their tiny tiny teeth." He kissed Freddie on the nose and kept right on walking, lover in tow. "I can see why Dominic loves him. Even if he hates Dominic."

Lex just grinned. "If somebody dropped you headfirst into the pool, I don't think you'd like them too much, either."

"Probably not. Poor Dominic. ....Poor Aurora." But Clark said it with a chuckling grin, as he side glanced his lover. "Dominic's only thirty five, Lex. Sometimes… I think we all think of him as much older and wiser, but he's just a few years older than you."

"Yeah, I know. But you've got to realize, Clark... he really is much older and wiser. Not just because of his age, but everything he's been through, my father included."

"I know... but sometimes? He acts like the young dork he is."

A light cough. "So do I, you know."

Clark grinned, sideways, and gasped, mocking quietly, "No. Really?"

"REEEE-OW!" HEY! No turning sideways when the Freddie is attached, do you MIND!!

The little kitten tried to reattach itself to Clark, and finally got himself situated again around his neck.

"Yes, really. Why just the other day on the golf course, Dominic and I were discussing my spunk and playing with my balls."

A moment. Pure silence, and a brow raised so high it nearly hit his short curls. "Excuse me?"

Lex was trying so hard not to choke on gales of laughter.

Glare. Just... glare. Though he didn't mean it, cause his lips quirked. "Poor Dominic. He's so... Irish. How didn't he flip out when he saw your purple plaid nightmare?"

"He nearly did," Lex confessed. "He yelled at Dad on the little wireless laptop I'd brought along, and he finally, finally gave in and laughed his ass off when I made the little tassel bobble."

Clark grinned, glare sliding away from his face as he rolled his eyes and stepped out into the hall, towel firmly around his waist, kitty firmly around his neck, and he gave Freddie another kiss as they walked. "I wish your dad had seen it."

"He did. He saw it that morning before work, when I was getting ready."

Bit his lip as their steps echoed on the staircase, walking up to their rooms. The hall was dark, though the soft light from the bathroom was coming from their open doorway. "I gotta ask him, when they come home." He looked across at his lover, quietly. "Have you heard from them?"

"No, and I don't think I will, unless something horrible happens. Dominic was fairly adamant about not checking in every five minutes, either for business or pleasure." Lex sighed. "As long as I don't hear, I'm assuming all's well."

Clark led his lover into their bedroom, carefully depositing Fredrick on their bed, and walked into the closet. His lover had, one morning while he was in school, transferred all of his sex toys to the hidden chamber in this room as well, and Clark was just stepping through when he thought of something. Each of the bedrooms had a little hidden room like this... how cool would it be to go exploring, see what was in all of them? Okay, definitely going to have to do that through the seventy bedrooms in the house sometime, even as he began selecting massage oils.

Lex picked up the kitten, and put him gently down beside the puppies, and traded him for Cleo. He cradled her carefully against his chest as he lay on his stomach, and tucked her right on the pillow beside him. Her wet nose and closed eyes were right level with his, and he gave her a little kiss on velvety soft ears.

Whatever. All this jostling was getting on her nerves, and Cleo heaved a heavy sigh, lips fluttering as she snuggled up, curling in a ball, head behind her hind legs, and sighed, sleepily.

"I bet you guys have all kinds of treasures." Clark said, because he knew his lover had heard his thought. Oil in hand, the juniper extract one, and he'd put on long pajama bottoms and a wife beater before he'd come back out.

Lex gave a little snort. "You'd have to ask Shayla for a map before you went exploring; wouldn't want you to get lost. I'm sure there's pirate gold still buried in the keystone, at least that's one of the family legends, and another is that we've the bones of one of the two boy princes in the keystone of the castle's walls." He exhaled right back at Cleo, and kissed her nose.

"Which reminds me." Clark answered as he got onto the bed, letting it dip under his weight as he straddled the backs of his lovers legs, and got himself situated. "When are we going to tell people about the caves, Lex?"

Cleo just sighed, even deeper, rolling over, baring her tummy for a minute before stretching her legs out at her daddy, and snored.

Lex scratched the exposed puppy tummy with one hand and reached over for the remote with the other. "I've been thinking," he said softly. "Surprisingly enough. I know they're yours, Clark. But... I can think of a couple of people who might benefit from the discovery a little more than us."

"Hmm?" Clark squirted an ample amount of the liquid oil onto his fingers and warmed it between his hands, before carefully stroking over his lovers skin. He began to knead, quietly, looking for tension spots with the ever handy dandy X-Ray vision, and stroked, firmly and warmly. "They're not mine… they're ours. But what do you mean?"

"They're yours," Lex reiterated. "You're the one who found them, I was just along for the ride. However, that aside... I think there's a couple we know, with a baby just about to be born, who'll need the eventual revenue more than the two of us."

Ohh. He looked up at his lover, quietly, as he stroked over the skin of Lex's back, kneading a little deeper. "Alright, I'll bite. How do we make it look like they found it?"

Lex's answer was pre-empted by a deep, long, and very guttural grunt as Clark found just the right knot and his entire skeleton went to jelly. "muphghugn." Close to a reply as he could come for a few long moments.

Clark smiled, broadly, and leaned over his aushna's back to whisper, "Kryptonians were known for their massaging skills."

And massage he did. He massaged all the knots out of his lovers back, starting from the tense neck, down the heavy shoulders, and he warmed Lex's skin by lasering his hands until they were hot, stroking the tense aches away. Slowly, surely, he went down the sharp shoulder blades, warm back, and stroked over each and every single vertebrae, rubbing it until it was loose and comfortable.

More non-verbal grunts and groans, and it was a labor of intense difficulty to pick up the remote and aim it at the TV.

"...and that is the last public speech we have from the Luthors, made right after their move to Smallville, which precipitated an unheard-of six week stock climb. As you might remember, following an automobile accident last winter that severely injured the senior Luthor, stock plummeted, and a merger with rival Wayne Enterprises was needed to shore up the weakened LuthorCorp. Contrast that with the company you see before you today, firmly ensconced in the small town and their stock prices are nearly doubled what they were before the accident, and they show no sign of falling off. This is good news to the blue-chip investors who held onto the stock last winter. They're surely reaping the benefits now."

Lex raised his eyebrows to his non-existent hairline as he looked over his shoulder at Clark. "Maybe we should give them LuthorCorp stock instead."

Clark smiled, in pride, as he listened, quietly stroking and adding more oil as he went. He worked down his lovers back, over his glutes until they were loose and relaxed, then down his thighs, as he massaged and watched. "I wonder if your dads know." His lovers back was a gleaming mess but as long as he was comfortable, Clark didn't mind.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh." Lex groaned. "I didn't know how much I hurt until you started that." Pop of his neck, and he sighed, pillowing his cheek back on his arm. "Not unless they've packed a TV with the suitcases, which, knowing the two of them, is entirely possible."

"Dominic did." Clark murmured, as he stroked over tense thighs, then scooted down to do hard calves, which turned to putty under his hands. He sat back against the headboard and took one of his lovers feet in his hands and began to massage, using just the right technique, though he had no clue what he was doing. Just following his blood as he trusted.

Lex's toes twitched in happiness. "Then yes, they do probably know. If CNN's airing it on the midnight show, of all places, then it had to have just hit after NYSE closing. Fuck. I really, really should be downstairs checking S&P and NYSE numbers for Monday. At least I'll have good news for Bruce; we promised benefits to merging with us, and this is just the first."

"No. You shouldn't. Not after tonight." Clark answered, quietly, as he switched to the other foot.

"Speaking of." Deep sigh. "Clark... don't get angry, all right?"

"I hate it when you start conversations with that." Clark answered, as he worked his fingers between each of Lex's toes.

"Well... I'm pretty sure that this is going to upset you. But you asked me earlier to be honest, and not sugar coat anything."

"Yes, I did." Fuck. "Alright, Lex...lay it on me, baby." He rubbed the arch of Lex's foot, carefully with both thumbs.

"Bruce left someone here in Smallville to watch out for me."

Clark let go of his lovers foot before he crushed it. He was quiet, for a very long moment, as he contemplated with Lex had just told him. "...What?"

"He was worried about me. Not just you, but about me too, not taking care of myself, and how these new... powers, are affecting me." He sighed. "He wouldn't have been happy otherwise, Clark... I couldn't let him leave like that, so I said yes."

His teeth grit. Tightly. He ground them, for a long moment, before he rolled up from the bed and stood, quietly. After... everything, and Lex... "Since... when does it matter if he's happy?"

Lex pushed himself up with one arm. "Since I found out that I nearly broke him when I had my little outburst earlier. Since I found out that he can't bear the thought of living on a planet where I don't exist. Since he is my best friend, and outside of you, he was the closest thing I had to family for a very long time."

He looked at Lex like he couldn't believe what he was saying. For a moment, just a moment, and then he just… he would have walked in the bathroom to wash his hands but he was afraid of breaking the faucet, so he just crouched for a moment, knees to his chest, feet planted on the floor, and let his hands link and hang over his head.

"Clark... it's that West character. That we met, in the comic store? That's why Bruce recommended him." Lex pulled himself all the way up, and reached out to touch his lover. "He's going to start work Monday as my assistant."

Even worse. "After all he did tonight, Lex?"

"But that's why." When Clark didn't completely flinch away, he let his hand rest on his lover's shoulder. "He wouldn't accept my apology. I had to agree to this, because if I hadn't, he'd never have left, at least not without me."

"That's what you do not understand." Clark was trying desperately not to scream and bellow, but it was going to get there, quick. "That's what you just cannot understand. I would never have let him leave with you, not at all, but you won't understand that, you won't understand Lex." He looked up. "You're twisting to meet his needs. What about mine, Lex?"

Lex looked distressed. "You... you're not? Do you want me to tell Mr. West on Monday to go home? Go back to Bruce and tell him to go to hell?" He inched closer. "Tell me. Tell me what I have to do to meet your needs, Clark. Please."

"No. You have to think for yourself, Lex." Clark rose up, to his feet, and just shook his head softly. "You have to think about what you want." He just...shook his head softly. "I wish you wouldn't have to choose between us."

"It doesn't matter what I want--I want not to be in this position; I want my best friend to realize I love my aushna' and I'm in no danger; I want my aushna' to realize that he has nothing to fear from my friend. But that doesn't matter, because it's not happening. What I need is for you to be taken care of. Obviously I'm not doing that, and it's upsetting me. Tell me, Clark, what do I have to do?"

"Lex… it's not that you're not taking care of me." He turned and walked into the bathroom, washing the oil from his hands now that he'd sufficiently calmed down. "I hate it that he thinks you need to be babysat, like I'm some common barbarian. I don't give a fuck about him, or what he thinks."

"Then I'll tell West on Monday to go back to Bruce and tell him that he's no longer required." Lex said it firmly. "In fact, I'll do it tomorrow. I'll go into the office first thing and go through the new personnel records."

"No, Lex." He stepped out of the bathroom again, drying his hands on a small towel. "No. Because you love Bruce, and I won't let you jeopardize that. Bruce is your friend, and if you send the guy back, that friendship will end." He shook his head. What an impossible situation, one Bruce had knowingly put him in.

"I don't care." Lex had made up his mind. "It's more important to me that you're satisfied with the situation, and you're not. Therefore, West is gone."

"Lex... FUCK! God, DAMNIT!" Clark roared, waking the puppies up, but he was so pissed off he couldn't help himself. "Think for your fucking self! Alright?! Stop... thinking about me and think for YOU! It doesn't matter what I want, it matters what you want! Don't put this decision on me!"

Lex cringed. "I'm sorry. I thought... I thought that was what you wanted."

Clark just... grit his teeth. "Do. What. You. Want."

Lex just didn't answer, instead gathering Cleo up against his chest and cuddling her close.

"Lex... Lex." Clark set the towel down on the side table, and crouched down in front of his lover sitting on the bed, sighing softly. "I'm sorry I screamed. But listen... for us to have a healthy relationship, we need... to think for ourselves. I know, its hard, because we're aushna, but baby, you don't always have to do what I want. In fact, I'd prefer if you didn't. The man I fell in love with didn't let anyone walk on him, and did what he wanted. You need to be that man again, Lex. I won't leave you if you decide to, you know, throw out all the furniture and buy bunk beds or something, you know? Don't freak out. Do what you want to do, baby."

Lex couldn't help flinching away just a little. "I am doing what I want to. You don't get it. I went out of my way to spend time with you and do things for you, bought you trucks, gave you campaign slogans, did everything I could before this to make you happy, because you were my friend. Nothing's changed. I still want you to be happy. It's just even more important to me now."

Clark just... Christ. "You don't have to bend over backwards for me, Lex. Stop treating me like I'm china, okay? I know you can't help it, but you've got to. I love you, Lex, but you have to do what you think is right."

"I can't help it. I don't know any other way to make sure you're satisfied." Little shake of his head, and he held Cleo tighter.

"You could ask." Clark murmured, softly, and carefully picked Cleo up from Lex's arms, before he crushed her.

Lex didn't argue as Clark tugged the puppy away, and he picked up the pillow he'd been laying on instead and hugged it to his chest like a shield. "I tried. Every time you tell me to do what I want. You don't tell me. Then I have to figure it out and I always mess up." So tired, suddenly, and all he wanted to do was cry, and go back about twenty years when Dad still had the answer for everything.

Clark heard the whisper of the thought, and his hand came up to gently stroke Lex's cheek. "Lex, its me. We... are more than aushna'. We're friends. Best friends. And I thought... you'd just tell me how you felt, before it got like this, where you were so sad. Lex... you don't have to… tip-toe around me, don't have to make me happy all the time. In fact, it does me good to be unhappy sometimes. Please… you have to voice what you want, baby, this is a two way relationship."

"It's not your fault." Quiet voice. "It's not your fault, except that you don't ever tell me what you want anymore. It's harder to figure out."

"Did you ever stop to think... maybe I don't need anything?"

Lex blinked. "If you don't need anything, then you don't need me anymore, because you're happy."

"No, Lex. If I don't need anything, that means I have you, and I'm happy."

A shake of his head. "No... you always need. Aushna' always need, and I am responsible for you. That's how it is."

"I only need you, Lex." Clark murmured, softly, as he stroked a warm cheek. "I'm nineteen years old. I just need you to love me, Lex."

"Then why do you get so angry, and so sad? I don't understand!" He didn't flinch this time. "You've got me, you've got so much of me there's nothing left, it's all yours!"

That hurt Clark worse than anything he'd ever felt. "No." He answered, softly, and stood back up. "There are many parts of you I still don't understand. Lex... you're my lover, and I'm yours. But you're also your own person, who has to make his life's choices. I can't… and won't… make them for you."

"I'm not asking you to do that." Little sigh. "I'm just asking what will make you happy again. That's all."

"I'm not ever happy, Lex. I lost my son a few months ago." He squeezed Cleo, gently, and lay her back on the bed.

"So did I," Lex reminded, and he huddled in closer to his pillow.

There was nothing really left to say to that. "Do you want me to sleep in the other room?"

Shake of his head. "No, this is your room. I'll go. I've got work to do anyway."

Clark's face fell quietly. "This is your room, too, Lex."

"Yeah, but you'll actually sleep. I'll stare at the ceiling, and end up down in my office anyway." Another little shake of his head, and he edged towards the side of the bed. "You rest."

"I'm sorry." He answered, softly. "I'm a horrible person. I shouldn't have made you choose… I'm sorry."

Little distressed cry in Lex's throat. "You're not a bad person!!"

"I just hate the way he treats you, I hate that he doesn't trust me, but if I were him I wouldn't trust me either, because I'm an alien and I don't understand people, I don't understand and I can't relate at all." He bit his lip, tightly, and sat down, quietly. "Lex, I'm sorry."

Lex dropped the pillow and crawled across the bed to his lover, wrapping his arms tightly around Clark's midsection. "You're not, you're not. You do understand, you understand just fine, you can relate, don't be sorry." Tight hug. "Doesn't matter if you're alien or not, you understand people just fine."

"I can't help feeling like… like you're different now, like I did this to you by becoming aushna' with you. I messed everything up." Clark grasped his lover, tightly, and quieted. No more hurting his lover.

"No, please." Lex tightened his grip. "Don't think that. You didn't mess anything up. You didn't. I promise."

"Do what you think is right, Lex, okay?" A soft, soft whisper. "Don't put it on my shoulders. Do what you feel is right. I don't care if Wally stays, if you feel it'll preserve the friendship you have with Bruce."

"Are... are you sure?"

"Yes." He nodded, quietly. "I'm sorry, Lex."

"Don't be, stop saying that." Hard squeeze. "You don't have anything to be sorry for!"

He did, and his throat burned. "I'm going to go to sleep, baby. Don't work... stay with me."

"You want me to? I don't... I don't want to stay, if you don't want me around."

"I never don't want you around." Clark answered, instead, as he moved the babies around so they could lay... then finding it uncomfortable, picked Artie and Samson and Cleo up, leaving the silent, watching Freddie to jump on his shoulder. "Moving the guys to bed."

"Okay." Lex watched as Freddie jumped easily onto Clark's shoulder and balanced regally, tail wrapped around Clark's neck. Once Clark had disappeared into the other room he dove under the blankets of the bed, pulling them up almost over his head. Too much, too tired to deal with anything, much less make a decision, and he just... he hid.

Clark set the babies in bed, carefully, arranging them cozily, with Freddie in the middle. And when he walked back into the bedroom, a heartbreaking sight awaited for him, and he felt... an undying guilt, because he was the one who'd done it to his lover. His eyebrows furrowed, gently, and he slipped under the blankets too, the cotton of his sweat pants rustling quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Please stop saying that," Lex said, muffled into his pillow and half-mortified by his behavior but too tired to stop it. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Go to sleep. You must be so tired. Sleep, aushna'. It'll be better in the morning."

Lex barely peeked his eyes out from under the blanket. "I'm sorry I make you so sad," he finally said, staring at his lover. "I'm sorry I exasperate you, and I'm sorry I upset you." Then he turned over, and pulled the blanket back over his head, something he hadn't done since he was nine, and he was hiding his bald head from Lionel's glare.

Clark... Clark slid under the blankets, too, and wrapped his arms around Lex's waist, bringing his back against Clarks chest. "I'm only a little exasperated." He leaned out of the covers a moment and took off the light, dousing the room in darkness. "And you only upset me a little, too. But I love you, anyway, baby, no matter what. I just want you to make your own choices... don't always think about what I'll do or say."

"I just want to make you happy. Make you proud of me; be a person you're not ashamed to be around. I know I haven't always been the best person, and I've done things I'm ashamed of, but I'm trying."

"You don't have to try. You're beautiful to me, Lex. And yes... there are parts of you inside of me, now. But there are parts of me inside you, now, too. We're intertwined, Lex, we're changing, and I know its weird and different and hard, but I love you. You're my soul mate, and nothing you could do or say would make me ashamed of you."

Lex just sniffled, and he shifted closer to Clark. "I hate being a mess like this."

"I know you do. I think… it comes with the territory. But I don't mind, not in the slightest."

"I don't like sounding like I'm five years old." Petulant as hell, knew it and hated it.

"You're not five. ...Just six." Innocent little smile, into his the indention in the back of his lovers head.

"That helps." Disgust clear in his tone even as he yawned. "I think I'm just... tired."

"I know you are." He shifted, and got a little closer. "Today sucked."

"And not in the good sense of the word." He curled back around Clark as Clark shifted closer to him.

"Think tomorrow will be better?"

"It has to be. It can't suck any worse."

"You'd be surprised." He pressed Lex a little closer. "You're really greasy."

"You want me to take a shower?"

"No. I want you to sleep." Clark closed his eyes, rubbing his lover shoulder softly as he looked outside, at the happily shining moon.

Yeah. Sleep sounded good. "I could sleep. About a week." He sighed, as Clark rubbed his shoulder. "That feels good."

He did it, gently, for a long moment, kissing the back of his lovers head softly. And there, in the quiet of night, in their warm, dark bed, Clark whispered, "I want you to be your own man. I don't want you to live by my expectations. All my life I've wanted people to live to my expectations...but they can't. My expectations don't exist. I want… you to be your own man. You're beautiful, Lex, and I worship the ground you walk on. I adore you, beyond anyone else in the world. You have to know that."

"I have wanted to be like you almost since I first met you. I wanted to be the strong, honest, kind man that you are. I didn't mind your expectations because they helped me to keep my goal in mind; they helped me to see the kind of man I was trying to be."

"But at the same time, took away from who you are, a man I'm proud to call lover, mate, boyfriend." Clark murmured, quietly, as he pressed a soft kiss to his lovers neck, and closed his eyes.

"No they didn't." Lex left his back to Clark's chest, because he liked the comfortable feel of it. "We'll work it out in the morning?"

"Yes, please." Though he doubted he could sleep, as tired as he was. "I'll be here. If you need anything, just wake me."

"Okay." His hand slid down Clark's, and laced their fingers together. "I'm glad you're not sleeping in another room, and I'm glad I'm not working in the office."

"I know." There was a soft smile in his voice, eyes closed. "Sleep, Lex. I'm here... I won't go off to Quebec or anything again, okay? Just sleep." There was a moment, a quiet moment, and when the room had once again calmed, he whispered, "Lex?"

"Yuh?" Slightly groggy, but awake, because he wasn't quite asleep yet.

Clark thought about asking his lover what had been nagging at the corner of his mind for weeks. But instead... he just smiled, softly, and shook his head. "I love you. Go to sleep."

Lex caught the little nag. "What?"

"Nothing... I just… its been a long day, and I don't want to give you more to think about."

"Ask me." Lex turned over, so half-closed gray eyes looked into Clark's. "Please."

He nodded, just a little, and though it went against his better judgment, he gently caressed Lex's cheek and spoke. "I've had a bad feeling for the last couple of weeks. Just like...a bad feeling. Like, panicky anxiety. But not because of you, or me. Like...something really bad wrong is here... or coming... or something."

Lex nodded. "Well... I think today kind of qualifies as something bad, don't you?"

He nodded, brows furrowed. "I guess. But the feeling… its still there. Like… like I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired, baby."

"Well... I can try... staying up. Seeing if I can feel anything out," Lex offered.

"No… its not like that. Its almost like… I dunno. I don't know how to explain it, except I started being able to feel it when your powers emerged. So I can't read them... at all. I'm probably freaking out over nothing."

Lex was about to speak, but he yawned loudly instead, and then spoke. "You can... look in my head. Poke around, see if you find anything that'll--" Another huge yawn "--help clear it up."

Clark just smiled, quietly, and shook his head. "Sleep. Mystical feelings for tomorrow. Go to sleep, Lex."

"Kay." A third huge yawn, that almost turned his head inside out. "R'min me in th'morning. Gotta get... flowers." yawn. "F'r Chloe."

"Sleep." Clark murmured, and gently tucked him in close. "Sleep, aushna. I'll be here... just sleep, baby. I love you. Get some rest now, okay?" He lay down against him again, face pressed against his hairless skull, and tucked the blanket over their shoulders.

Soft little snore. The first sleep had done it. Lex was out.

And Clark sat up, long after his lover had fallen asleep, and watched over him.

 

-fin-

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