The Memoirs

Lex was having a nightmare.

He didn't realize it at the time, of course, though he would once he woke up.

The world around him was skewed. Literally, in this case, because Lex felt as though he were walking at a 45-degree angle to everyone else. It was absurd, as he looked around, seeing the windmill poking out into the middle of the sky, and the LuthorCorp tower seemed to have transplanted itself right in the middle of downtown Smallville, looking much like the Leaning Tower of Pisa as it leaned sedately against the Talon, supporting itself with the coffee shop's structure.

Lana Lang was riding the top of the LuthorCorp flagpole like a rodeo cowboy, waving a brown cowboy hat as she bounced on the pole.

Lillian Luthor was perched on top of a nearby car, serenely painting the picture in front of her with strokes of brush to canvas; Pamela was standing next to her, holding out the palette of color to Lillian so she could refill her brush every so often. Lex was walking down the street, and finding it not at all surprising that the town was populated entirely with dead people.

"Lily, look, you've gotten that huge brown blotch there again," Pamela scolded.

"Well, we can turn it into a cancer tree," she said sensibly. "It's growing anyway, and by the time it gets big enough to be noticeable, everything will be gone anyway."

"Oh, okay." Pamela nodded, and took a huge bite out of a rotten apple, then held it out to Lillian. "Here, dear."

Lex turned and came to look at his mother's easel, but it was nothing but a big brownish-red spot the color of dried blood. "Mom?"

"Lex! You must be hungry!" She held the rotten apple out to him, and he nearly took a bite.

"Don't want to do that, Lex," came Dominic's cultured tones from over his shoulder. "You don't need any of that rotteness inside you."

Lex blinked. "You... aren't supposed to be here, Dominic," he said, brow furrowing.

"Of course I am, Lex. It's just a matter of time, after all. Come on, let me give you a ride." He pointed to the wrecked blue Jaguar sitting by the curb. "If you don't mind, I'll drive." When Lex shook his head, Dominic got into the wrecked Jaguar and drove away, and Lex watched as the crumpled car slammed into the brick wall of Fordman's department store.

"Dominic!!"

It rang in Lex's ear as he jerked awake, and he heard his own voice fading in the nearly-empty cafeteria.

Clark jerked his eyes up.

The Smallville Ledger was open on the table in front of him, picked apart, of course. Sports, comics, finance, business, world. He had separated each section to itself, and was pouring over it, reading the articles, the styles of writing, and the polish and veneer the words seem to have that his did not. So like a good Clark he studied them--what else did he have to do? His lover had fallen asleep sitting in the booth seat almost six hours ago, and though Clark had made him a pillow from his coat, and covered his own thick one over his lovers shoulders, he kept glancing at him worriedly as he ate. And ate. In six hours he'd eaten a whole pizza, six Danishes, four cups of coffee, three soda's, and a half a bar of Hershey's chocolate before he'd gotten full enough to continue on. Didn't realize after all how famished he was until he hadn't eaten anything for eighteen hours.

That is until his lover, his handsome and wonderful lover, eyes owlish and frightened, leapt up and nearly fell off of his chair.

"Lex! Lex, its alright, baby. Shhhh. Hey, hun. There you go...wake up, sweety. Just a nightmare." He abandoned the newspaper and laid his hands across it, to take Lex's. "Shhhh."

"Clark." Lex blinked, shaking off the fuzziness from the nightmare and clutching Clark's hands tightly in his own. "Nightmare." He blinked again, nodding, shaking his head physically this time, clearing the cobwebs out. "Yeah. A nightmare." He pulled one hand away to scrub across his eyes, and wrinkled his nose as he felt a sticky residue from the table on his cheek, from before Clark had gently slid the pillow under his head. He vaguely remembered Clark finding him and gently taking away his coffee cup, and then nothing after that, until he'd woken up with Dominic's name ringing in his ears.

"Were you dreaming about Dominic?" Clark asked softly, very quietly, as he cracked open a cold Pepsi and pushed it across the table. He rubbed the condensation trails away with his finger tips, and then rubbed his fingertips with his jeans, even as he rose to his feet. He stumbled a little as he hadn't gotten up for a while and he felt clumsy with rushing blood, but managed to move to sit next to Lex, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and holding him close.

"Thanks." Lex took the soft drink and chugged several swallows, the coldness of the drink and the caffeine in it helping to shake him awake. "Yeah. Yeah, Dominic was there. It was... it was a strange dream. Lana, my mother, Pamela... everyone that I've known well enough to care if they died or not were there. Lana... was riding a flagpole, Pamela was holding the paint palette for my mother, and she was painting the cancer that killed Pamela." He scrubbed his hands over his face, rubbing the cool bottle against his cheeks. "Dominic was there too, and... I think I said he shouldn't be. And then he said, it was just a matter of time. Then he got into the wrecked Jaguar and drove it into the wall of Whitney's store."

"It was just a dream, baby." But was it? Lex was so strong, his powers so fierce, even if he didn't know it. Clark refused to think about that though, and pushed it out of his head. "A scary dream, but just a dream. You know? Dominic's going to be okay, you just have to keep believing he will. Besides, why would he run into Whitney's store after all? Just weird, babe." He brushed his lips across a temple peppered with sweat. "You've been asleep for a while, though, you know."

"My mother offered me a bite of her rotten apple," Lex reflected. "Dominic wouldn't let me eat it; he said I didn't need the rottenness inside of me too." He shook his head. "No, I didn't know." He fumbled his arm back up on the table and looked down at his watch, then out the window at the sun just barely starting to peek over the horizon. "It's five in the morning?"

"Five-oh-six. The sun's rising. The birds are singing. I have to go take my exams in about three hours." A little smile at his honey, and then a kiss to his lips. "Gelda over there in the kitchen? I told her about you, and she said she'd make you anything your heart desires, if you're hungry."

"Your... exams?" Lex asked blankly, and then a switch flickered in the back of his head. "Right. Your finals." He let his head drop to Clark's shoulder. "No offense to the... I'm sure highly refined tastes of Gelda, but I think that breakfast is not on the schedule right now."

"Well hey, that's alright." His tone was light, despite everything, trying to let his lover come out of the nightmare in at least amiable spirits. "I called mom and dad. Mom put her famous chicken on ice, but she's expecting us tonight. She says she's going to make a lot of food for your dad, too. My dad asked if there's anything you can think of that Lionel needs, by the way."

"Your mother." Lex's head slid off Clark's shoulder and thudded on the table. "Fuck. I didn't mean to sleep through the visit; I've got to go and apologize to her today, bring her flowers or something." He thunked his head on the table once, and then stopped it when the pain radiated to the back of his head and threatened to split his head open. "I think... Dad probably needs a nice long dose of Prozac, followed by a sedative and about thirty-six hours of sleep." He lifted his head and rubbed his eyes again. "Seriously? I think the only thing Dad needs is for Dom to wake up and walk out of here."

"Yeah." Clark whispered, even as he pulled his lovers head to his shoulder and gently began to rub it, letting Lex tuck in close to his chest just like he liked doing. Even though things were still a little... off... since Kal and CK, he loved Lex very much, and only wanted to make him feel better. He brushed his lips across smooth skin again, and then once more. "Don't. She understands. She's going to bring a lot of roses later, for them both."

He shook his head. "Christ, I'm getting thick." He just thunked his head gently against Clark's shoulder, and wrapped his arms tightly around Clark's waist. "I have no idea what I'm doing, Clark," he confessed softly. "I'm flying by my ass and I have no idea if I'm doing the right things or not."

"I know, but you know, that's okay." Quietly spoken, with another kiss to the long bald dome of hairless head he so adored. "You love him too. You've got a right to be scared and worried too. You're doing an amazing job, though… you cope better than anyone I know." Another kiss, to his neck now. "Graham and Toni went home. Toni took a sick day, because she's so tired. They're going to be back tonight."

"Toni... should be sleeping." He didn't bother sitting up, though he knew he should have. It was just too comfortable, too safe, against Clark for him to move. "She needs a doctor to check her over. Make sure... that the stress isn't hurting Rory."

"She's going to go see Dr. Billy later today, she told me. She's got a checkup anyway. Megan went to the castle, too...I put her in one of the rooms in Shays hall, I hope you don't mind?" And Clark felt a sliver of worry, then, for offering someplace for her to stay with Philippe. It wasn't his space to dish out, after all. "And Rosalyn, too. I didn't want her to… to be staying across town, you know?"

"Thank God one of us is thinking," Lex said, muffled against Clark's shoulder, and then he pulled back and repeated himself. "I'm glad you're thinking, Clark--of course it's fine. God knows somebody ought to get some good out of that mausoleum." He rubbed his cheek against Clark's shoulder, and sighed. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here," he said after a beat.

"Survive. You're a survivor, after all." Clark said back, but smiled and kissed his lips again. "Come on. lets go see Lionel, make sure he hasn't imploded." He let go of his lover and slid up out of the booth, gathering his newspapers in a pile, folding them, setting them under his arm, and offering his hand.

Lex looked at Clark's hand for a moment, then kissed the palm, and each of Clark's five fingers before pressing his cheek into Clark's hand, then finally taking it to pull himself up to his feet.

"I love you." Quietly said, quietly murmured, as their fingers linked. Masculine and thick, but for some reason Lex's artisans hands and Clarks thicker, workman's hands were perfect one another, and they clasped snuggly as he waved at Gelda and began to walk towards the elevators.

"I love you," Lex answered, just as quietly but no less heartfelt, and he brought their linked fingers up, not to his mouth but to his heart, and let them rest there as they walked. "And I missed you. I'm glad it's you with me here and now, Clark, because you... are everything I need."

Clark's lips twitched quietly as they walked. "Too early for all that mushy stuff. Wait until I'm lucid enough to reciprocate." He stopped in front of the elevator and pushed the button, before drawing Lex quietly into a hug. He couldn't explain how good that made him feel, at least the part still capable of feeling good these days, and he squeezed Lex's shoulders, tightly, hugging him to his body. "I missed you, too. I didn't see you for days."

Lex responded, his arms going tightly around his lover's waist and chest, squirming in as close as he could as he rubbed his hand over Clark's chest. "I missed you. Just knowing you were here? Made me strong. I can't... explain it, really." He closed his eyes. "Too early to think. Ask me later, but... you helped me."

"I don't really want to think about it." Clark said, softly, as he let go enough to kiss their laced fingers. "Its over. Now come on… lets go upstairs." he turned just as the elevator opened and stepped inside, pulling Lex gently in after him.

Lex nodded, following Clark into the elevator, his hand still resting on Clark's chest as he snuggled back up to his lover. "Okay."

Clark nodded, quietly, as he pulled him in after him. He illuminated the button for the fifth floor and held Lex close as the elevator began to rise. It was too early to talk in anything about a very low whisper, and too still to be anything but as exciting as pre dawn always was. There was something mysterious, magical, quiet but powerful about this time of the day, and Clark always waited on it with anticipation, for the sun to shine over his body and caress him like Lex often did.

It was perfect.

And now, here, it was wrong.

He'd never forget this moment. He didn't know why, exactly, but he was struck with a complete sort of quietness, of slightly disturbed peace... unease, but a comforting kind that led way to new discovery, whether for good or ill.

His perfect moment. Here, with his lover pressed in close.

Clark looked down at him, silently, for a long moment. "I love you, Kenep."

Lex looked up, feeling Clark's eyes on him, and he didn't say anything until Clark did, unwilling to break the silence. When Clark did, Lex smiled, and slipped his hand into his pocket. He pulled out the chain that held Clark's ring and held it out to him. "I picked it up yesterday, when I showered and changed. It was on the dresser--the twins left it there, I guess, and I picked it up to give to you, and I forgot, til just now." He untangled their fingers enough to run his fingertip over Clark's lips. "I love you, Kal-El."

He looked at the chain for a moment, the mention of the twins being pushed carefully back and out of the way so he wouldn't have to think about it. Instead, he turned for his lover to hook the chain around his neck, pushing his collar down.

Lex rose on his tiptoes, carefully draping the chain around Clark's neck and fastening it in the back, then pulling his collar back up so that the chain rested against Clark's skin, and he smiled as he turned his lover back around. "There. Somehow, that makes me feel better."

Clark smiled back at him, carefully tucking the ring under his shirt, making sure it was secure as he nodded. Didn't say anything though because the door to the intensive care ward opened and Clark stepped out with the words choked in his throat, Lex's hand in his. He led him, quietly, across the foyer and to the nurses station, where the little nurse, Miranda, was working. "Hello, Nurse Miranda. I was wondering if... is Mr. Luthor still here?" Not like he had to ask, but it was polite, to show the nurse he was willing to follow rules and sign in and out whenever they came around.

Miranda gave the young man a small, polite smile. "Yes, young man, he is. He's in his--well, Mr. Senatori-Luthor's room." They'd decided at the nursing desk to refer to the patient as Senatori-Luthor so as to be able to distinguish between patient and pain in the ass. "If you'll just sign in on the clipboard here, I'll buzz you through."

"Thank you." He let go of Lex's hand so he could write, picking up the pen and signing both himself and Lex in, as well as the time. The nurses looked exhausted, and he couldn't blame them. He was going to bring them up coffee as soon as he checked in with Lionel and left Lex to talk to him, or so the plan went, after all.

Lex just nodded, too exhausted despite the nap to make anything close to polite small-talk, and instead, just followed Clark down the hallway, listening half in anticipation and half in dread for his father's voice to be bellowing out over the ward.

Surprisingly, it was silent, and Lex found himself wondering if Lionel were alive, dead, or asleep.

Clark waited until the tall glass door that read 'Intensive Care' in black letters to buzz and open, and as soon as it did he held it open for Lex, stepping in behind him after Lex had gone first, but as soon as he passed through the door, he took Lex's hand again and squeezed.

And added, quietly, half under his breath, "He may be too tired to bellow over the ward. Maybe just his hall."

Lex's hand was searching for Clark's even as Clark reached for it, and Lex didn't give a second thought as to how reliant he'd become on Clark's strength, or his calm serenity. He couldn't help the grin that cracked his face at that, though, and hid it briefly in Clark's shoulder. "Or maybe his voice gave out," Lex muttered back.

"Could be. Never know with Lionel." They turned the corner in the gleaming white hall that always smelled vaguely of disinfectant, and let his brow furrow as they reached Dominic's room. Doctor Bryce was just stepping out, looking exhausted himself, and Clark rose a hand in greetings as he led Lex into Dominic's room.

Dominic was laying there, just as he always was, only with a green gown now instead of a blue. Another blanket had been draped up over his body, and the only thing that had changed was that the knee that had been bared and in traction to keep it stable had been covered, though there appeared to be a stack of pillows underneath it, under the blankets.

Clark let his gaze travel to Lionel, who, if possible, looked worse than every before. "Morning, Lionel."

"Is it?" Lionel asked shortly, reaching over to turn the little plastic wands that would open the blinds. A gentle flood of sunlight came through, and Lionel turned to shade his eyes. "So it is." He eyed Lex critically. "You look as though you've been sleeping in the hospital's trash bin all night. Go home, clean yourself up, and come back when you're presentable."

Clark's eyebrows flew up. Like Lionel could talk. He looked terrible. If Lex had slept in the trash bin, Lionel had slept on the floor in the most public bathroom in the entire hospital. "He was asleep downstairs, Lionel." He said quietly, carefully, and calmly. "Would you like to come home with us? Get a shower, some clothes?"

"No, thank you, I'm quite fine." He gestured vaguely towards the wardrobe, and to a lumpy duffel bag in front of it. "One of Dominic's siblings was kind enough to bring clothes for the both of us. I have yet to avail myself of it, however that is my intention before the morning is over."

Lex just blinked, looked down at himself, then over at his father. "Pot. Kettle. Black."

Lionel looked haggard. His beard was muzzy, his hair was greasy and limp, his eyes were glassy behind his glasses, which sat smudged on his nose. Not to mention the clothes Clark had brought him the day before yesterday laying adorned and wrinkly on his person. He looked...yeah, like shit just about covered it. "Doctor Bryce just left, right? Did he say if anything's changed?" Clark asked quietly, looking at Lionel hopefully.

"Changed?" Lionel blinked. "Oh, you're referring to the visit just now. Oh, no, nothing's changed. In fact, things have, if I am to believe that crystal-gazing quack, worsened. The swelling and the pressure in Dominic's brain has not gone down nor lessened, except for the burr holes that were drilled several days ago. They should have continued to go down, but as they have not, that means the swelling is worse than was originally thought. That opens the possibility of brain damage, as there is the possibility of blood not being able to deliver oxygen properly to the swollen and possibly blocked vessels in my darling husband's head, and the longer that this draws on, the less likely he will be to wake. At all. And if he does wake, there's no predicting the severity of damage done to his brain."

Clark's throat narrowed down to the size of a needle, and he suddenly found he had a hard time drawing in a deep enough breath. It burned as he swallowed, and he turned instead and took Lex in his arms before his lover had enough time to process what Lionel had just said, hugging him close.

Oh. Oh, God.

Lex was entirely too exhausted to catch onto what Lionel had just said with his usual quickness, and he wrapped his arms back around Clark, even as his tired brain fought to catch up and listen and process.

When he did, he didn't struggle against Clark's grip, or anything else. He just... sort of sagged, a little, against his lover, as though his bones were losing cohesion, and made a choked little keening noise in his throat as he held tightly, eyes blinking and head shaking as he tried to put the words together in a different way, to give a different picture.

Lionel rolled his eyes at the noise. "Do shut up, Lex, or at least, find a way to control yourself."

Clark let his eyes snap to Lionel's, and let a sliver of anger show. "Don't talk to him like that. He's allowed to be upset, Lionel, just like you are." Very quiet but very firm, as he pressed warm kisses to Lex's head and cradled him gently, so tenderly, against his chest and neck, rocking him gently, as he murmured to him, "Its okay, baby, its okay, you can lean on me."

"Then he can bloody well do it out in the hallway, or at home, because I certainly do not wish to hear it!" Lionel's temper was on edge as it was, and this was trying it sorely.

Lex made another strangled noise as he tried to speak, but nothing came out. His mouth worked for a few seconds before he buried his face in Clark's shoulder again, and just shuddered hard, all over, his nails digging into Clark's hip as he tried to find some kind of control, somewhere, that hadn't completely abandoned him.

"Its okay, baby, I know, I know." Clark whispered, and instead of leaving to the hall, or home, Clark sat in one of the chairs beside Dominic's bed and dragged Lex into his lap, holding him close to his chest as his lover shook against him and his nails dug into his unbreakable skin. He didn't speak to Lionel, just carefully holding Lex to him, and kissed his head, his temple, his lips as his lover trembled.

Lex's fists were clenched, one in the hem of Clark's shirt, the other in his jacket, and he barely felt the zipper grating against the soft skin of his palm as he shook. His voice finally found him, and he trembled at the soft echo of itself that it was. "Dominic... has to wake up."

"Oh, for the love of God, get a hold of yourself, Lex!" Lionel shot up out of the chair and stalked over to where Clark cradled him. "You are a twenty three year old man, not some boy who runs sobbing to his mother's dress tails every time he hears bad news!" he shouted. "I expect you to act like it!"

"STOP TALKING TO HIM LIKE THAT!" Clark roared it, and was sure he'd woken up the people in the rooms around Dominic's, but he did not even give a fuck. First instinct was to protect his aushna', always and foremost in his mind, and he snarled at Lionel darkly. "He has a right to mourn if he wants to, Dominic is his step father and he loves him, so stop acting like you can still control his emotions, make him swallow them, make him sick from them. Just because YOU do that doesn't mean he has to."

Lionel spun on his heel and glared right back at Clark. "You have absolutely no right to speak to me that way, you ignorant little know-nothing hayseed!" He stalked closer to Clark, getting right in his face. "You have no idea who you are speaking to, boy, or who you are holding in your lap at this moment. Contrary to what you might think, or what your instincts tell you, that boy is first, foremost, and always my son, and I will speak to him in whatever manner I see fit to ensure that he behaves properly! Furthermore, I will not have some... child off the street come in here and think he is going to dictate policy to me, what I shall and shall not do. You, Mr. Kent, have absolutely nothing to say to me, and you may remove yourself from this room immediately."

Clarks heart knocked twice in quick succession before almost stopping completely, as he regarded the older man before him. "I know you're upset, about what Dr. Bryce said, so I'm not going to listen to anything you just said. I just hope you see the shame in them eventually. Secondly, I'm not your boy or anyone else's, so don't call me that ever again. Thirdly, I'm not some child off the street." His eyes flashed with anger and hurt. "But like I said, I'm not going to listen to any of it."

"BOY," Lionel sneered. "Get out of this room. And take that sniveling little brat with you."

"No." Clark said, just as firmly. "You think you're going to push Lex and me out of your life, because Dominic's hurt? Where's your fire, your spark, your humanity?"

"Shut up, Dad," Lex finally said, from his cuddle on Clark's lap. "Just... shut up and think about what you're saying."

Lionel's hand lashed out, and nearly struck Lex, but instead grabbed him by the shirt collar and jerked his head up. "Do not speak to me that way again, Alexander, or you will regret it. Do I make myself clear, son?"

Clark growled, like a caged animal, low in his throat. He clasped his hand, which was bigger than either of theirs, over their grip and he carefully extracted Lionel's fingers from Lex's shirt. "You should be ashamed of yourself. What would Dominic think of you, to see you treating your son like this, just because you're too pussy to let your fear and sadness out. Instead you bottle it up, and now I can see why Lex couldn't even approach you as a child. You let your fear win. Coward."

Lionel pinned Clark with a venomous glare, and jerked his hand away so that he could lean forward, almost nose to nose with Clark. "Do not. Mention my husband's name. Ever again. Do you understand me, boy? You are not to speak a word about him."

Lex wasn't exactly cowering but he was hiding against Clark, too tired, too scared, and remembering what his father was like angry as a boy and whimpering softly against Clark's chest.

"Don't talk about him? Like Lex was never allowed to talk about Lillian, his own mother, just because he was too scared of how ballistic you'd get?" Clark asked, with quiet intensity, as he looked into those dark brown eyes full of anger, and a sickening fear. "Are you just going to make Dominic a memory up on a pedestal? He's not dead yet, you know. From the looks of it, he's still very much alive."

Lionel jerked Lex up, and he moved out of the way, going to sit in the other chair beside Dominic's bed on the other side of the room and Lionel jerked Clark up next, or at least, he tried to. "You will not speak of either of my spouses in that tone, boy," he yelled into Clark's face. "You will not defile either of them by speaking about them in this manner." He pushed back, trying to thump Clark's head against the back of the chair, but the chair back wasn't high enough. "Do you understand me, boy?"

Clark let it happen. He was the only one who could withstand this without leaving with bruises, and he sat, quietly, looking up into Lionel's eyes. "The fact that you've totally become devoid of hope for him speaks volumes for your courage, you know. What? A bump or two, something some stupid ass doctor says, and you're going to believe it? You're not going for a second opinion? or a third? Or a fourth? You're just sitting here, woe is me, beside his bed like a ghost. You aren't doing, you aren't moving, you're just sitting here waiting for him to die. You want to know something, Lionel? He didn't wait for you to die. He acted, and he did something about it."

Whatever tether that had been holding Lionel back from physical violence snapped. His uncle Lachlan Luthor had been a roustabout and had had a horrible temper, and his nephew had inherited it, but thankfully he'd also inherited his father Phillip's iron control. But even iron, strong as it was, had a breaking point, and Lionel had just reached his. He shoved Clark back as hard as he could, managing despite the boy's weight to send the chair crashing into the wall behind him. "Get out. You have no idea what you are talking about, boy, none whatsoever. You have no idea the number of times these tests have been run, you have no idea the parade of doctors that Bryce idiot has been sending in here over the last twelve hours that you and my son have been fucking away down in the cafeteria!" he thundered. The room was not large enough to truly indulge his temper, but as he moved, he caught sight of the things on Dominic's bedside table and toppled them to the floor with a single sweep of his arm. "You do not know the tests that have been run, the results that have been double and triple checked, and until you do know, I suggest you shut the fuck up!" He shoved Clark back against the wall again, and then picked up the water pitcher from the tray at the foot of the bed, and hurled it at him.

Clark wasn't worried about it in the least. He fell but it didn't hurt... he just climbed back to his feet as Lionel roared at him, furious, and he watched, quietly. He caught the pitcher of water as it was thrown at him, easily, and let Lionel throw his tantrum as he screamed at him. It was good that Lionel was screaming at anyone. The man was losing his mind, and Clark wasn't ignorant enough not to see it. So he just listened to him yell and scream, then let his face carve into an expression of indignation. "And how the fuck does that make you feel, huh?"

Lionel just snarled as Clark caught the pitcher without blinking, and Lionel picked up the next thing that came to hand--a book that had fallen on Dominic's bed, and hurled that, then followed with the plastic cup on the tray, then the thin phone book, and he didn't stop throwing things until he got to the small dresser that had been built into the wall beside the bathroom, and his fingers stroked over the face of Dominic's watch--and he didn't dare throw it. Instead, he just clenched his hand tightly around it, feeling the metal band biting into his hand, and kept his back to Clark as he breathed deeply.

Clark had caught all the missiles as they were hurled at him, and one by one, set them on the table by the door. And as soon as Lionel turned, and stopped, Clark let himself take a very quiet breath. "Lex and I love you. I know you don't want us to show emotion over him, because then you'll break. But Lionel... you just broke anyway. I made you break in ten minutes, with hardly any effort. Is that how you want to be for him, you want to act like this when he wakes up?"

"Get out of here," is all Lionel said, his eyes closed tightly as his fist stayed clenched around the watch.

"No." Clark said calmly.

"Get out," he said more firmly. "Or I'll have you removed."

"No." Clark repeated, stubbornly. "I'm not going anywhere, sorry."

"I don't want to cause a scene, boy, any more than I already have, nor do I want to expose you, however if you do not leave, this moment, I will have security forcibly remove you." Lionel still didn't turn around, just kept his head down as he stared at the wood grain of the dresser.

"The truth hurts." Clark answered, quietly. He trusted Lionel, with all of his heart, so he calmly plowed on. "You can't push me away. I won't let you." Was all he said, as he pulled the chair right again, and sat in it.

Lionel put the watch carefully back down on the dresser, stroking the glass with his fingertips, and looking at the deep gouges in his hand. He hadn't even felt them, but used the echo of pain that they left as he flexed his hand to ground himself. "If you don't leave..."

"You'll hurt me?" Clark asked very, very quietly, his enormous green eyes flickering up at Lionel.

"I'll have your name removed from the visitor's list, and you won't be allowed back again," he replied shortly.

Clark ignored the threat and carefully lifted Dominic's hand where it had fallen during the hubbub, from his side back onto his belly. He set it carefully, making sure the IV was still where it was supposed to be, and made sure the taped end was still firmly attached.

Lionel watched in the mirror. "Don't you dare lay a hand on him."

It was far too late for that, of course, but Clark gently made sure Dominic's thumb wasn't caught under his palm and laid it flat, before returning his hands to his lap and meeting Lex's gaze across the bed.

"If you touch him again, I will find a way to hurt you." Lionel's voice was back to it's usual, steady calm, with only a note of hoarseness to belie his screaming tantrum moments ago.

"No, you won't. Because even if you could, I know you love me very much. I love you, too." Clark murmured quietly, as he watched Dominic's chest rise and fall quietly.

"Shut up," Lionel said softly, tightening his hands on the side of the dresser.

"I love you, very much." Clark repeated, quietly. "You're one of the people I love most in this world, just like Dominic is. The four of us are a family, a team. We don't work without each other. So that's why Lex is crying, and I'm crying, and you're falling apart. We, us four, work. When we're not together, we don't work."

"Shut up," Lionel said again, louder and more firmly this time. He just stared at Clark in the mirror, barely noticing where Lex's head had fallen to the side of Dominic's bed and his shoulders were shaking, barely listened to the noises coming from his son or the words from Clark. "Shut up and get out."

"That's what scares you, I think. That we work because it is the four of us. And because you love him more than words could ever say. I bet you love him more than anyone you ever have in a romantic way, even more than Lillian. He gives you your humanity, and he taught you how to live again. And you're doing him an injustice, a huge injustice, right now, this instant." Clark murmured, softly, and gently reached across Dominic's belly to stroke his lover's shaking head.

"I told you not to talk about him." Lionel closed his eyes again, leaning forward to rest his forehead against the cool glass.

"I know. But I'm a rule breaker. Just like him, just like your son." Clark murmured, as he kissed Lex's head as he rose again from the chair. "I'm going to go get some coffee. Would you like some?"

"No, thank you." Lionel didn't move a muscle, just stayed with his head against the glass. As soon as Clark left, he was locking the door and having the boy removed from the visitor's list.

Clark heard an echo of the thought from Lex, and stepped up to Lionel, carefully setting his hand on his beloved friends shoulder. "You can't, and you won't. Because you do love me, as much as you try to say you don't. I need to be here for you, and for Lex." He leaned forward and pressed his lips against the back of Lionel's shoulder tenderly.

"Yes, I can," Lionel said, but didn't refute anything else. Nor did he acknowledge the kiss to the back of his shoulder with anything other than his eyes opening.

Clark gave the shoulder a very gentle squeeze before he turned, and quietly left the room.

Lionel waited for Clark to leave the room, and walked over to the hospital room door. He closed it after the boy, looked down at the silver knob and lock, debated with himself for a long moment, then left the door unlocked and pulled up his chair, sitting back down beside Dominic and ignoring his son.

Miranda was waiting by the door when Clark came out, and pointed to the brunette sitting on the couch across the waiting room. "She's been waiting for you ever since we heard raised voices." She frowned. "The hospital director told us to ignore it, and we're having to shift some patients to the other side of the ward," she said disapprovingly.

Elaine just waved as she flipped through her magazine, and smiled at the comment. "Don't worry, he's got enough of a lung capacity that it'll carry either way."

"Sorry." Clark winced, quietly, at the nurse, then let his eyes turn to Elaine. He took a glance at his watch...it was just turning six. Shit. "Hi, Ms. Nacheyez. You're around early... let me buy you some coffee?" He looked hopeful at her, hoping that his slightly damp shirt from the chunked water pitcher, and his frazzled hair, were too noticeable, and he tried in vein to smooth it down.

"Nah, I'm around late. I've called my office, had them cancel my patients for the week, and refer some of the more urgent cases to my backup, Dr. Wilhelm. I'm also going to look around and book myself a hotel room for a few days, and stick around awhile." She tucked her magazine away in her bag, and got to her feet as Clark came over. "You know, the last time I tried that with Lionel, I was under the impression you didn't like it. But you, kid? You're better than I am."

Clarks lips twitched tiredly, even as he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, hoping it looked normal again. "I think I can get away with it cause he adores me. But hey...Ms. Nacheyez, why don't you stay at the mansion? Lex won't mind at all, and since there's like, sixty bedrooms, I'm sure we can find a good one for you."

Elaine's own lips twitched at Clark's attempts to tame his hair, and she didn't say anything, just reached in her bag and offered him a hairbrush and a mirror. "I'd love to, Clark, but I don't think it'd be very professional of me, especially since I'm treating two of the people living there. It's much safer for me to find a hotel room in the area."

"Okay. I had to offer, though; Lex'd chop my arms off if I didn't." He smiled at the comb, just a little, blushing and shaking his head. "No, thanks. I've got to go home and shower before the mold starts procreating." He shifted and sank down into one of the thick chairs by the elevator, calming his limbs and relaxing for a long moment. "He was going crazy. I had to say something."

"I appreciate the offer more than you know." She wrinkled her nose. "For someone who's used to a Metropolis apartment, the Smallville Motor Park doesn't offer much in the way of the comforts of home, but it's a nice enough place to sleep, from what I can see. It was either that, or a motel that I passed on the way into town that looks like it had more cockroaches than people patronizing it." She sighed. "And he's going to need several more of those before he's ready to be human or even begin to remotely deal with this."

"Oh, hey, no." He shook his head. "There's a Holiday Inn on Route 85, right behind LuthorCorp. Its a big one, just opened. Really nice." A nod. "I'll give you instructions." But then he quieted for a moment, as he thought. "Ms. Nacheyez… Dominic is everything to him, and he's everything to Dominic. I mean, I think they love each other more than Lex and I love each other. And that's saying something. They're totally devoted to one another, they're like one person in two bodies. Down to the way they interact, eat, talk. Its like they've been married for years and years and years."

"Call me Elaine," she said with a smile. "And the most I can say, without divulging confidential information is, according to Dominic, they've been married for the last fifteen years or so; it just took Lionel longer to realize it."

"Lionel's kinda slow on the uptake." Clark admitted to her, nodding as he tried for a smile of his own. "I know Dom's crazy about him. I knew Lionel was just as crazy back. Ms--... Elaine, what... I mean, what if..."

"What if the unthinkable happens?" she asked softly. "I'm good, Clark, but I'm not a miracle worker. I don't delude myself into thinking that I pulled Lionel back alone the last time. I know that Dominic had just as much to do with it, if not more, than I did. This time? I will give it my best, Clark, as much as it takes, but I don't know if I can make him come back without something--or someone--to come back *to.*"

Clark nodded, again, and looked down at his hands. "Well, just do your best. That's all anyone could ask for." Not. No. Not. No. His throat caught. "Just be careful he doesn't chunk stuff at you, too."

"He knows better." She smiled. "I have a rolled-up newspaper and I'm not afraid to use it." Her smile was genuine, if not strained. "I'm going to talk to him later, and find out how Dominic's doing. I'm... worried about them both."

"Dominic's not good." Clark whispered, and leaned foreword to grind the heals of his palms into his eyes. "He's bad. The swelling won't go down… from what Lionel said, there's a good chance he won't wake up."

Elaine swallowed hard, but fought not to blow her professionalism. "That can't be good new for Lionel, either." She tightened the grip on her bag, and looked up. "I'm betting on Dominic. He's pulled through other things, and I believe he can pull through this too."

Clark trembled all over. "Have you seen him? Elaine, I just… I don't know. I don't know. Lex is in there, crying his heart out, and it just...I don t know what to think or feel anymore." A very long, deep expelled breath. "Sorry. I just… sorry."

"No, Clark, don't be sorry." She patted his hand gently. "That's what I'm here for. If you'd like to talk, then we can talk. You don't even have to be a patient; I'm here, you might as well get some use out of me. You don't have to be worried; confusion right now is natural, especially since I'm guessing that Lex is looking to you for steadiness, since he's lost his own." She looked down. "I've only seen him once, when I was bullying Lionel earlier. I haven't been able to get back there since he's initiated the visitor log, and I'm not on it right now."

"I can talk to Lex. He'll get you on it." Clark answered, quietly, his throat tense where he was almost holding his breath so he wouldn't cry. "You need to talk to Lionel… do something for him, at least until Dominic is better. You know? If Dominic wakes up, everything will go back to the way it was, there won't be problems. Its just... now that's the problem." Another long exhalation.

"That's why I'm here," Elaine said softly. "I'm here to talk to Lionel, and to see how Dominic is doing, because he's my friend, as well as my patient. So is Lionel, for that matter, and I'm going to do everything in my power to help them both as much as I can. You have my word on it, Clark." She offered her hand to him.

He took it and squeezed gently, before letting go. "I feel like we took things for granted." He admitted quietly, as he looked up at her and smiled a little. "Funny what happens when you do, right?" But he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair before standing. "I'm going to get Lex. I'll be right back."

Elaine shook his hand, and smiled when he did. "We always take the things we love for granted because we feel they'll always be there," she said softly. "Clark... let me tell you something that Lionel's never learned, and that could do him a lot of good. Don't be afraid to cry. It doesn't matter who it's in front of, but crying lets out the most primitive emotions that we can't vocalize and deal with, and when we internalize those things, that's when we get abrasive, uncommunicative, and angry because we don't have an outlet. Don't put yourself in that position." She released his hand as he stood up. "I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded, and smiled again, but even he knew his smile was sad. "I've done a lot of crying in my life, Ms. Nacheyez. More than enough. I'm tired of crying." But he nodded anyway. "I'll be back in about ten minutes. If you hear a scuffle, call security."

Elaine just looked sadly after the young man, and even as her fingers itched to dig through his problems and help him fix them, she just sighed, and picked up her magazine again and tried to focus on the latest article about the good points of drug-assisted hypnotherapy.

Clark threw his shoulders back, straightened, and cloaked himself in false superiority as he strode quietly down the hall once more, and opened Dominic's room door after knocking quietly on it twice. "Sorry to bother you, Lionel… I came for Lex."

Lionel didn't say a word, just gestured to the other side of the bed, where Lex's head was still lying down on the mattress, but his shoulders had stopped shaking, and so had the noises.

Clark walked around the room, giving Lionel just enough space to appear unthreatening, and gently crouched down beside Lex, his heavy palms sliding over his lovers slender back. "Its me, baby. Come on… let's go home for a little while." He leaned forward and pressed his full lips against Lex's head, his earlobe, and then the fingers he could just see under his lovers elbow.

Lex sleepily lifted his head, and blinked. He'd almost fallen asleep again, once it had gotten quiet, and he closed his eyes again as Clark kissed him softly. "I can't." He yawned, just a little. "I can't let Dominic back in my dream, Clark. I have to stay here and make sure he doesn't try to drive again." Half asleep and running on coffee and exhaustion, Lex was making no sense, confusing the dream he'd had with reality. "In my dream, I mean."

"Get out, Lex," Lionel said softly. "Get out of here, go home, take a shower, and for God's sake, sleep it off." He didn't bring his eyes up from where he held his lover's hand at.

"He'll be safe here. Lionel's watching over him." Clark murmured quietly. "Come on, baby... you're falling asleep." He ignored Lionel's harsh words, just kissing his half yawning mouth and helping him to his feet. He steadied him in case he fell, helping him as he pushed the chair back a little so Lex could come out from in front of it. "We'll get some soup, then sleep, okay?"

Lex couldn't help yawning again. "I am tired," he admitted, and he stumbled just a little as he came around the end of the bed, and he went through his pockets twice before he came up with the keys to his Ferrari. "Maybe you better drive." He looked around the room blankly, then shook his head. "I'm also going to the bathroom."

He disappeared into the small room, locking the door behind himself as he quickly did his buisness, washed his hands thoroughly, then splashed his face with icy cold water. It shocked him enough awake so that he could function, and he was patting his face dry with the horribly rough paper towels as he came out. "Sorry about that."

"That's okay." Clark murmured. He hadn't even looked at Lionel the whole time, and just as Lex came out, and they were ready to go, Clark leaned over and kissed Dominic on the forehead. And then he came around, and kissed Lionel's cheek, giving him a hug from behind, and took Lex's hand in his own. "We'll be back this afternoon, Lionel. I'll bring you some food." He said to the stiff figure.

Lionel didn't respond to either the action or the words, just shrugging it off as quickly as he could. "Whatever you want," he said dismissingly.

Lex caught his lower lip between his teeth, looking from his father to his lover and back again, and sighed. He'd never been able to approach his father like this when he was younger--he'd never had the balls when he was a child, and when he was older, never had the desire to, but now... he pulled away from Clark and went to stand beside his father's chair, then crouched down beside it. "Dad?" He swallowed hard when Lionel ignored him and stiffened, but Lex did it anyway, hugging his father's stiff shoulders and letting his head fall there. "It's going to be all right. You'll see."

When he didn't get a response, Lex let go of his father, and got back up to his feet, hand looking for Clark's and finding it without error as he squeezed it tightly.

Clark squeezed back, nodding softly at him. Making Lionel break with love is what was needed now, after the shouting match this morning. That's how Lionel worked, Clark knew because it was exactly how his own dad worked. And maybe it was manipulative, but it was what worked, so he didn't particularly care. He squeezed Lex's hand tightly in his own, bringing it to his lips as he opened the door and held it open for his lover.

Lex slid out the door first, then pulled Clark behind him, tugging insistently at his hand as they started down the hall. "I hate these places," he confessed softly.

"I know you do." Clark answered, as he stopped in front of Elaine, Lex in hand. "Want to go get some food with us, Ms. Nacheyez?" Clark asked her, squeezing Lex's hand gently in his own.

She shook her head no, eyes twinkling. "I think I'm going to take the opportunity to talk to Lionel a bit more, see what I can weasel out of him." She had pulled something out of her wallet while she had been waiting, and she handed one each to Clark and Lex. "If you start feeling overwhelmed, you give me a call. That's what I'm here for."

Lex pocketed the card gratefully, and he smiled. "Thank you, Doctor. We just--I just might, anyway, take you up on that." But he was squeezing Clark's hand harder, and a little more urgently, without making a show of it.

Clark nodded himself, smiling a little back at her as he wound his fingers more snuggly around Lex's. He could feel his lovers urgency to get out and get gone, so he kissed Lex's cheek gently and motioned him on towards the elevators. "Call the elevator baby. I'm going to talk to Elaine for a second."

"Okay." He didn't want to let go of Clark, but he did, and he walked down the little corridor to the bank of elevators, pressed the down button, and wrapped his arms around himself as he waited.

Elaine waited until Lex was out of sight--and hearing--and then looked back up at Clark. "Yes, sir?"

He looked down at Elaine for a moment. "Lex is ready to lose it. He dreamt about his mom, his old nanny, our friend Lana, and Dominic all in the same dream. Except the first three are all dead. He said he dreamt that Dominic got into his wrecked jag and drove head first into a building." Clark murmured, quietly but quickly. "He's not going to sleep tonight. This afternoon... could you maybe.." He shifted a little. "Maybe talk to him?"

Elaine nodded. "Of course I can. I won't even mention your name; he seemed to show some sort of receptivity to talking to me and I can say that, coupled with the fact he's looking a bit ragged around the edges, is why I wanted to see if he'd have a little talk with me." She looked down the hall. "If you're worried about him sleeping... I can give you a couple more of those sample packs, but that's about it, unless he officially becomes a patient of mine, and in that case, I can prescribe something, but I'm rather loathe to do that yet." She kept looking down the hallway. "Tell you what." She took the card out of his hand and scribbled something on the back, then handed it back over. "There. That's valerian root. If you go to the drugstore and ask for standardized valerian root, that's something completely natural that should put him right to sleep. The only problem is, the capsules smell a little strong, because of the root in them."

"That's okay. I'll make him take them." Clark nodded, looking down at the words written on the back, before glancing up. "Thank you. As for becoming a patient of yours, he's about two and a half hours from it, so don't be surprised if he asks you." But he nodded and saw Lex glancing back at them. "Thanks, Ms. Nacheyez. I'll see you later tonight."

"I won't be surprised at all." She smiled. "Go on, your young man is waiting for you. He's lucky to have you, Clark. And I promise you, if he comes to me, I'll do right by him, don't worry."

He nodded, swallowing and fidgeting before he turned and walked down the hall. He clasped Lex's hand as he got there, squeezing it tightly, and another moment the elevator opened. He stepped through, carefully pulling Lex with him, and kissed his cheek gently as they entered. "Come on. Lets go home."

 

-fin-

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