The Memoirs

Alexis was clinging to Clark as they'd gone up the stairs, and she'd clung to him as they'd gone into the bedroom, and now, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, hands clasped between her knees as she looked down at her feet while her boyfriend was in the bathroom.

She knew that Clark wasn't happy about her being stuck like this, and she sniffled softly to herself, letting her head lay on her shoulder as she sat on the bed, hunched over to try and minimize her chest.

Clark was scrubbing. A lot. He had climbed in the shower as soon as they'd come up, as he'd been their test subject, and scrubbed the layers of grime and exploding debris off of his skin, out of his too-long hair, and out of his ears. He came out squeaky clean, shaved quickly, brushed his teeth, and padded out of the bathroom with only a towel anchored at his hips.

And looked at Alexis, hunched over, and sighed. "Lex… its okay. Seriously, baby. Look at me." he sat down next to her, and brought her chin up. "You're still my aushna'. I'm sorry I acted strangely. I don't know how to act around girls."

"It's not okay," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're weird around me since this happened, and I don't like it."

"Well, Alexis... I'm really, truly, one hundred percent, gay. How would you feel if I suddenly got a vagina and boobs?" He would have raised his eyebrow, if he still had one.

Her lower lip protruded slightly. "I don't know; let's try it and find out," she snapped, hunkering down even more.

Clark's mouth spread, and he couldn't help grinning. "There's my Lex. Come on… it's okay, I swear. Go ahead and clean up, I'll be waiting for you here, kay?"

Another sniffle. "See? You don't even want to shower with me!"

"That's cause I had to get grout off me, baby," Clark soothed, gently, stroking her long hair. "Go clean up. Then we can make out, if you like." A line of pink rose in his cheeks, and he ducked his head, blushing.

Alexis just kept sniffling. "Fine! I'll go shower by myself." She flounced into the bathroom and slammed the doors shut.

A few beats passed, and then she flung them back open again. "Then we make out."

Clark's lips twitched, and his dimples winked in his cheeks as she said it. When the door closed again he looked at the ceiling, mouthed, "why me?" and then stood, pulling his towel off. He dried his belly, thighs, and crotch carefully, tossing the towel in the hamper before climbing into the cool, wonderful bed and stretching out his sore muscles, to stare up at the ceiling.

Alexis slammed the bathroom door shut as she quickly got undressed, and turned the water on hot. She let it run for a minute, steaming up the bathroom as she kicked off her slacks, pulled off Clark's t-shirt and moved them into the hamper across the room.

The double-sided skin adhesive tape held her breasts seamlessly in place, and she couldn't help running her hands over them, tweaking the nipples gently just to see what it felt like.

She gave a soft little gasp as it tugged something in her belly, and she quickly got into the shower, using some of the strawberry scented shower gel she'd borrowed from Chloe to scrub herself clean, especially between her legs.

Her hair was the last thing she washed, because even though she knew she was bald, it was still there for her and she wasn't going to have a lanky, stringy mess like she'd had before. No, she scrubbed it clean this time, letting the water rinse through until it ran clear, and then wrung it out before tossing it back over her shoulder.

She climbed out of the shower as soon as she was done, and wrapped her hair up in one towel as she dried off with another one, and used a third to wrap around her chest and tied it off under her arms as she left.

Clark was busily staring at the ceiling, watching patterns in the grout, as he did to calm himself. When he heard the shower click off and the door open he looked over, and saw his lover, standing there with her hair all tied up, her towel snug around her body, and he bit his lip softly. "Good?"

"Good enough," she sniffed haughtily, chin in the air.

Clark swallowed, tightly, and shifted a little on the bed. "Well... okay. So... wanna come over, or are you gonna stay standing there until lunch?"

"That depends on if you can stand having a girl in your bed," Alexis sniffed, but came across the room anyway to perch lightly on the side of the bed, ready to bolt if necessary.

That kind of hurt his feelings, and he frowned. "I like having Chloe in my bed, don't I?"

Alexis sniffed. "Then why don't you like me?"

"I do like you." Clark sat up, then, the blanket falling down to his lap as he reached out to pull one very slender arm close to him, and hopefully the rest of her would follow with the little tug. "I like you a whole hell of a lot, actually. It's just taking me a little time to get used to--it has nothing to do with you. Kay?"

The rest of her did follow, damp towels and all. "You mean that?" Her gray eyes were shadowed by her lashes, and she looked down in a way she never did as Lex.

"Of course I mean that. Have you ever known me to lie?" he gently stroked her hair, then down her face, turning the angular, but dainty little chin toward him. "I love you very much, aushna'."

"I love you too, Clark." Alexis snuggled in beside Clark, and then very sneakily brought his hand down to cup her full breast. "It's just weird knowing that you're weird about this."

Clark let Alexis move his palm, and after she had put it right where she wanted it, he gently stroked the full swell of it, massaging it so the peak would press into his palm. His eyelids fell a little at the feeling, heavy and heady inside of his belly, and he murmured in pleasure even as he smiled. "Of course I'm weird about it. It doesn't mean I'm weird about you."

"Well... yeah it does, because in case you haven't noticed?" She picked up her other breast and gently jiggled it. "I am the situation."

Clark's lips twitched, and he slowly lay back, pulling her along with him. "Then I'm lucky to have this situation," he said softly, and gently pulled her mouth down for a kiss. it was still full, so soft, but with a slightly different flavor, and a more wet, more soft, feel to it than Lex's hard kisses. He gently kissed her, taking command of it easily and pressing his tongue inside to loop and stroke across hers.

Alexis moaned softly, arching her back and pressing into Clark's kiss, her fingers guiding his to the knot that held her towel around her chest as her tongue thrust back against Clark's, sucking and nibbling and licking.

With slightly fumbling fingers Clark undid the carefully done towel, and pulled it aside.

And knocked his head into Alexis's nose when he looked down to stare.

Twin breasts, high and tight, nipple peaked and full, looked up at him. As this was his aushna', it was so... odd, but very, very alluring. His cock, which had been snuggled, dormant, in the thatch of hair between his legs peaked up to notice, and began to get very, very interested.

"Ow!!!" Alexis rubbed her nose, and then slipped one hand through Clark's hair and urged him down, the other slipping underneath the heavy weight to lift it up in offering.

"Sorry," he breathed softly, leaning down to carefully, gently, nip one of the hardened nipples in his mouth. It tasted like Chloe's in that it was very female and soft, and he licked and sucked his offered treat while his body rolled over and trapped her underneath him. His mouth studied every contour of the globes being offered to him to play with, licking and trailing his tongue around them, very pleased with how hard the nipples became, how protruded.

"S'okay," Alexis moaned, sharply hissing as his teeth teased her nipple, sucking it into his mouth. Her fingers came up to tease the one currently not being sucked, whimpering her pleasure as Clark's rough tongue pleased her. "Feels good, Clark, oh God, so good."

He could do this. He was good at this. Chloe had, after all, given him quite a lot of practice. His mouth trailed down her ribs, leaving her to play with her nipples on her own, and ignored the fact that he would have died to be sucking his lovers cock. Instead, he gently spread her folds and buried his face between them, tongue slithering out and beginning to nip, suck, and stroke his tongue over the sensitive folds, until his lips closed around her clit and he gently sucked on it.

Alexis' fingers tugged at both her wet nipples, shivering and moaning as her skin prickled with pleasure. She spread her legs wider for Clark to slide between, inviting him to lick over her folds, let his tongue tunnel in to find her clit.

When his lips wrapped around the little nub, Alexis' back arched, and her nails dragged over her chest, causing her to whimper and her sheath to tighten sharply.

Ohh, Clark liked that. In fact, he could go as far as to say he liked that a lot. So he sucked again, watching with wide eyes as she got very, very slick and wet, and he leaned down a little to taste it, mming softly as he did. His fingers stroked her hips, her thighs, and it was very... very nice. Very, incredibly nice, so much so that he had to slide his fingers into the tight little sheath and stroke them in, deeply.

"Clark!!" Alexis' hips almost shot off the bed as his fingers penetrated her. Rough fingers that scraped over every inch of her delicate insides and sent her brain shooting off into explosions of pleasure as she rocked her hips, riding his stroking fingers.

His tongue licked her again and she sobbed out her lover's name again, wrapping her legs around his shoulders and pulling him in. "Clark, Clark, please!!'

"What? Please what?" He asked her softly, having no idea what he was doing but apparently it was good, so he stroked again, and then once more, deeply, crooking his fingers and gently rubbing her insides.

"More more more!" she cried out, wrapping her nipples around her fingertips and pulling hard, making herself clench and ripple around Clark's fingers. "Please, inside me, make love to me Clark, please!" She was writhing wantonly around under his fingers, trying to rock herself further down as she whimpered.

"What?" If Clark was horror stricken… well, he looked like he was, yeah. "What? Do what?" He lifted his head up, aware he was covered in her juices but not really caring. "How… what?"

She gave him the ugliest glare she could as she wiggled on his fingers. "Just like you do Chloe, please, Clark, please, inside me, just slide in, fuck me hard, please, I want you." One hand let go of her breasts and slid down, rubbing her clit lightly.

Clark didn't bother mentioning he hadn't fucked Chloe in going on five months. And that she was much easier, because she took things into her own hands, and he didn't have to look for how to get in. Like... now, for instance. He got up a little, onto his haunches, looking down at her writhing under him and swallowed hard, biting his lip and shifting. "I...how?"

"G--Get on your back," she whimpered. "I'll ride you. Do it myself. How's that?" She sat up, letting go of herself reluctantly, and squirming her ass on the sheets of the bed.

"Kay." He didn't look at her, as mortified as he was, and leaned over her to slide onto his back on the bed and spread his thighs a bit to help her. He swallowed, squirming his back against the sheets, and bit his lip. "Am I good like this?"

"Yes, yes, you're fine, you're good... Christ, you're so big, Clark." Alexis couldn't help sliding over his chest, and moving until she could lick and suck his cock down her long throat.

Clark's back arched and he mewled, loudly, his fingers sliding down to his lovers head as her pouty mouth slid around his hard erection. She nuzzled it like it was a fine treat and his body shook there on the slick sheets, head thrashing as he gnawed on his lip.

Alexis made happy little noises in her throat as she licked the head of Clark's cock, then slid her mouth down it slowly, sucking as she went. She used her tongue to make sure that his cock was wet, and slick, and she climbed over his hips, closing her eyes and letting herself settle around him, warm flesh wrapping around the head of his cock, pausing before she went further.

Clark moaned so loudly his entire throat shook, and he arched up, because it was so hot, so wet, so glorious. He thrust up hard, as hard and deep as he could without thinking, mewling nonstop as he grasped slender hips and worked all of himself into her, rolling his hips, moving in and out until he could get every last inch inside. "Oh, God!"

The first movement inside was a slick, quick push that filled her full and had her stretched tightly around his cock. She let out a little sigh, her nails tightening on his arms as she squirmed in pleasure, but as he kept thrusting, Alexis' face screwed up just a little, as the pleasure turned to a distinct pain as a very large shaft tried to slide inside a very unaccommodating sheath. "Ow! Clark, Clark, stop! Stop it!" she cried, trying to move as she slapped him on the shoulder.

Clark's eyes flew open and he immediately stilled his hips, dropping his hands and losing most of his erection as his aushna' screamed on top of him to stop, eyes widening hard and his body trembling. "Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, God. Did I hurt you? I'm sorry. Oh God."

"Too big too fast," she gritted out, pulling herself off of him slowly and rubbing between her legs. "Let's just try this the old way?" she suggested, licking the mostly-soft cock before stroking her nipple over the head. "Because it seems like it's not going to work out for us this way."

Clark was still pale as a ghost, keeping his hands tightly against the bed as he watched his lover without blinking. "W-what... what did I do? I'm sorry. I'm… sorry."

Alexis dropped her forehead onto Clark's thigh, kissing it softly before looking up. "You? Big strong man. Me? Not so much anymore. Clark, go slow. That's all you gotta remember. Go slow until you hear otherwise." Said with a little bit of a grin.

Clark didn't even move. "I hurt you. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. Did I mention I'm sorry? I'm sorry." His throat was tight. "I didn't mean to. I forgot. I'm sorry."

Alexis crawled up his body and sat on Clark's chest, looking down at him. "Clark... stop being sorry and start making love to me. The way we usually do it." She kissed him softly.

Clark shook his head. Frantically. "Hurt you. Can't do it again."

Alexis was getting a little desperate. "Clark... lube your cock. Lube your fingers, stick them in my ass, open me up, and fuck me. And if you don't? I might possibly do it myself."

He whimpered softly at the thought, but bit his lip tightly. His cock, tight, snug, hot, was streaked in her heat, and he wanted to get in there again, but he bit his lip, tightly. "No. I want... want here," he stroked her naked mound. "You set the pace. I won't touch you until you're okay. Okay?"

Alexis nodded. "Okay, but if it doesn't fit this time? We're trying it my way, okay?" Alexis' fingers slipped downwards again, but instead of massaging her clit they slid inside her, stroking deep and widening herself as much as she could. "Just... this is my first time, Clark, so be gentle. next time won't be this hassle."

"I'm so sorry," he whispered softly, and as she stroked inside of herself, Clark reached down and hardened his cock again. He gave it insistent, firm strokes, until it peaked with interest again, and he bit his lower lip, struggling to stay still and biting his lip as he grasped handfuls of the blankets.

"Don't be sorry," Alexis whimpered between strokes, arching into her own fingers before sliding them out and crawling back over Clark's cock again. She leaned over and licked it, and nuzzled it against her cheek before climbing back into position, closing her eyes and starting to slide down his shaft.

Clark bit his lip hard and grasped his handfuls of bed linens as he closed his eyes and kept his hips plastered against the bed, not moving not even a lick. He bit into his lip as she moved over him, slow and gentle, and he was so big and she wasn't, and he didn't think this was going to work but he groaned softly anyway, eyes clenched.

Alexis stifled a victorious yelp as she slid past the point she'd taken him before, then slid up, letting her wetness slick his cock as she slid back down, taking more of his cock with each push down, until her head was thrown back, neck arched to breaking as she thrust out her chest, scratching fiercely at her nipples, tugging them as she slid the rest of the way down and finally accepted every inch of Clark's cock inside of her.

Clark let out a short, hard wail as she swallowed him all and he was buried in tense, boiling heat, slick and wet and good. He groaned, thrashing his head to the side and holding as still as he could as she arched and made a wanton slut of herself over him, which was so desperately sexy that he couldn't help but stroke his palms up her hips and then to her breasts, fiercely stroking over them and pinching the nipples for her.

Alexis moaned again as she started to ride Clark, her hands dropping to brace on his belly as she pushed herself up, then slid back down the huge length. Her eyes nearly popped out on the downward slide, and she'd never realized how huge her lover was before.

His hands were magic on her breasts, tugging in all the right places, making her muscles tighten in pleasure as she rode, her knees on the bed and her head leaned forward with the rest of her body, so that she could stare down at her lover and licked his lips softly before kissing him.

Clark groaned, softly, deeply, kissing her back as she leaned forward just right. He growled softly, very quietly, as he grasped her hips and kissed her, then let go, lifted his head, and sucked her breast into his mouth, tugging and biting on the nipple as his eyes clenched again with her muscled stroking against him.

One of Alexis' hands moved to clench tightly in Clark's hair, holding his mouth on her nipple as she pushed back against him, riding him faster now that he was completely slick with her wetness. She was able to take him deep with every stroke, her fingers tightened in his hair as she rode, squeezing his cock tightly dragging her nails up his arm as she balanced herself.

"Good, Lex, baby, good," Clark groaned softly, and he tried. Really, he did. It was tight, and snuggly, and it felt amazing.

But it wasn't Lex.

And he lost his erection. Again.

Alexis whimpered as she felt Clark softening inside her, and she let him slip out on her next push up, rolling off him to press her legs together, rubbing her thighs against each other as she looked up at him. "Clark? What's wrong? Are you all right? What did I do?"

Clark didn't say anything. He just turned on his side and didn't look at her, as he fought to control his emotions. There was nothing like realizing you were really and truly gay to really turn you off to women, and he bit his lower lip tightly once, fighting for control, before he rolled over and pulled Alexis into his arms. He hugged her, tightly, kissed her chin, before he spread her out and crouched down at her thighs again, his mouth burying itself again as his twin fingers stroked into her. He'd get her to orgasm, the best damn orgasm ever, and to distract her from any thoughts he sucked, hard, on her clit.

Didn't work. Alexis closed her legs tightly, pulling away and sitting up, even going so far as to pick up one of the towels from the tangle of sheets and drape it over her lap. "No way, Mr. Kent, not until you tell me what's up?" Her thighs were almost sweating with the heat, but she glared at him anyway.

He sat up, on his knees, staring at her. "I don't want to talk about it. Let me get you off."

"Get me off? Like it's a chore for you? I don't think so." Alexis rolled out of the bed. "You don't want to talk about it? Fine. Neither do I." She grabbed the towel even closer, knotting it around her waist as she went into the closet, came out with something tucked under her towel, an armful of clothes, and she slammed the bathroom doors shut.

Clark buried his face in his hands and fell forward on the sheets, face first into the pillow. "Why me?" He asked it, muffled in cotton.

No answer. Typical.

So he curled the blankets up around him, lower lip trembling, and tried for sleep.

In the bathroom, Alexis shook out what she'd wrapped up under her towel, and plugged the electric razor into the wall. The scissors were laid out next, and finally a rubber band.

She used the rubber band to make her long red hair into a ponytail at the nape of her neck, then using the mirror for guidance, she snipped it off. The hair fell, then dissolved into nothingness as it left her glamour.

Once it was gone, she hacked away at what was left until it was nothing but a jagged, close-cropped mess, and she threw the scissors down with a little sob and picked up the razor, turning it around and gripping it carefully. Once she had the right head on it, she slid the razor right over her scalp and down the back of her head, leaving a naked strip of skin behind.

Over and over she did it, dusting off red strands as they fell into nothing, and finally, she got the result she was looking for. Alexis ran her hands over her bald head and smiled.

Next in the little package was skin moisturizer, and she massaged it gently over her scalp until it had soaked in, then washed her hands and dried them off before getting dressed.

Lex's black slacks, a pair of black Gucci loafers, and one of his purple sweaters, and Alexis looked at herself in the mirror. If you didn't notice the bulge of breast, you might actually be able to think she was Lex.

Clark didn't think about what Alexis might be doing. He was stewing in misery, because though he'd known he was gay, and Lex knew he was gay, the fact that he couldn't keep a stiffy around an alluring, beautiful woman was deeply, unspeakably, unsatisfying terrible. And his cock was not helping things. His balls ached, and with the firm, no-nonsense movements of someone who had done this many times, he stroked himself to orgasm--an unsatisfactory one, but at least the ache in his balls would go away.

He cleaned up, rubbed his hand clean with a t-shirt by the bed, and curled up into a sad little ball of Clark.

Alexis came quietly out of the bathroom, dressed like Lex and bald, and carefully slid out of her shoes as she climbed back into bed behind Clark. She made sure that when she spoke, her voice was deep, not the husky tone it'd been lately. "Rest, Clark. It's going to be all right. You just need to get some sleep." Alexis was proud of how unlike herself she sounded.

For an instant, Clark thought Lex was back. But when he opened his eyes, and looked up, all he could do was recoil in absolute horror. "Oh, God. What did you do?!"

Alexis just stayed calm, and didn't react. "I took care of things, for the moment. Temporary fix, you might say, until we can rectify the situation."

"Are you stupid? Why the fuck did you shave your hair off?" Clark demanded, anger spiking in his eyes, now. "Because I'm gay and having problems being intimate with you, you shave your head? Are you mental?"

Alexis stared back serenely, unblinking. "I gave you back what you wanted, Clark. Minus a working cock, of course, but as I said, that's only temporary."

"You're stupid. How could you demean yourself like this? Demean me?"

"I'm not demeaning either of us, Clark," she answered calmly. "I think I could get to like this lack of hair; it's going to be quite easier getting ready in the morning."

Clark could have shaken her. Then he sat up, and did so. Hard. "Aushna'. Look at yourself. Stop. Don't tell me that just because you're a girl now means you're going to be a pushover. Since when have I ever asked you to change yourself for me? Hmm? just because I lose my erection with a woman doesn't mean you should have made yourself out to be more like your normal self!"

Alexis' eyebrow raised at that. "I'll ask you not to shake me again, Clark." She carefully reached out and moved his hands off her arms. "It was quite obvious that my previous state was far too upsetting for you to function, sexually or any other way. I therefore took steps to ameliorate the situation as best I could, until a permanent rectification can be made."

Clark was so angry, and so embarrassed, that he didn't know what to say. So he turned over, pulled the blanket up to his shoulder, and ignored her.

Alexis just shrugged. "I'll be working in the puppies' room if you need me; I've had my laptop moved there for the duration of this... incident." She got up from the bed, and put on socks, this time, before putting on the uncomfortable loafers.

"Before I met you, my life had always been about being something I'm not," Clark snapped, without looking at her. "I thought with you I could be honest, I could be myself, and that I didn't have to be embarrassed over what and who I am. But you just proved tonight--even my own aushna' thinks all I concentrate on are the superficial."

"You are the one who could not finish what you began, Clark. You're the one who proved something tonight, and it's not that you're superficial--far from it. It's that you cannot accept me when I am in trouble, and most in need of you. You could not follow through with me tonight because I am, for all accounts, a woman. And not Lex. I comprehend that, Clark. And I tried to give that back to you as much as I could. So to hell with your thoughts of superficialness; I have tried to give you back what you wanted and you've made it clear that either way? It isn't me you want."

Oh. God. That hurt so, so badly. "Are you saying I am not a good aushna'?"

Alexis turned back around and looked at Clark. "I am saying that when I needed to know that you loved me, no matter what shape I was in, you couldn't even fuck me."

That blew whatever ego Clark had out the window, and his hands began to tremble. "I tried. I'm sorry I couldn't be satisfying to you."

"No, Clark. I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted."

"It's not about that. I wanted to, Lex, I wouldn't have instigated it if I didn't want it," Clark grit out. "I just couldn't. I tried."

"You couldn't because I wasn't Lex to you. I'm not Lex without what's between my legs. I understand that, too, Clark. And I honestly don't hold it against you, because in your place? I can't say as I wouldn't react the same way."

Clark grit his teeth all the harder. "I've had you as my lover for nine months, Lex, and no one before you. No girl ever came before you, no one. The only person I've ever kissed who's ever meant something to me has been you. The only person who's ever touched me has been you. I gave birth to your son. How could you possibly say you're not Lex to me? Do you think I only love you with a bald head and a cock? Do you think that's all I'm here for? Do you think that maybe seeing you as a woman scares me to death, and that I'm gay and I'm trying as hard as I can to make you happy, but you keep running off and doing stupid shit?"

"Do you maybe think that seeing myself as a woman scares the hell out of me too, Clark? And that when I look to you to make sure that yes, it's okay to be scared, that I can't be because you're too busy going ewww, girl, to notice? Do you maybe think that it hurt know that my aushna' is disgusted so much by me that he can't touch me, that he can't make love to me?" Deep breath, and Alexis raised her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose, a very Lex thing to do. "Do you think that maybe I'm trying to make things all right for both of us by trying to get back to a place we're both comfortable in?"

"I'm not saying, ew, girl!" Clark cried, loudly. "I'm not disgusted by you, goddammit!"

"You can't even keep your cock hard long enough to fuck me! If that's not disgusted by me, I don't know what is!" Alexis shouted back.

Clark felt something hot burning at the back of his throat, as horror lit his face with shame. "I told you I'm trying. It's just hard. You don't understand, you're not completely gay like me."

"No, it's not hard at all," Alexis sniped back.

"Stop it. You're hurting me."

"You've already hurt me," she said, tears in the back of her throat but she refused to let them out. Lionel had told her downstairs, be strong and don't cry, and by God, she would be.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I can't perform like you want me to." Clark shot back, feeling his own feelings welling up hard.

"And I'm sorry I can't be enough incentive for you," she said back.

Clark shrugged, and finally climbed to his feet to shower again. He didn't answer back a word, stepping into the bathroom and then into the shower without stopping. He put the water on up as hot as it would go and pushed his head under it, eyes closing tightly.

Alexis left the bedroom and sat down at the desk in the dogs' room, flipping on her laptop and scrolled through the forty-page thick packet of results that Hamilton had sent him about the effects of the meteor rocks on human tissue.

 

-fin-

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