The Memoirs

Shayla was pacing back and forth in front of the front door.  She'd  basically ignored everyone else as she'd stormed down the stairs and into the kitchen, and there'd been such a black cloud around her that anyone who'd seen her had stayed out of her way. 

 

A steaming cup of coffee sat beside a plain white envelope sitting on the table in the foyer, but she could have cared less about the letter.  She tossed it on the silver mail tray and wrapped her hands around the carafe, warming them as she waited for Pete.

 

Five more minutes, and she was calling his house again.

 

Pete had cried for twenty minutes. He couldn’t help it. Every time he tried to stop he'd just thought of how... how Dick had basically been relieved Pete'd have someone, so he could cut him off completely.

 

It had killed him, inside.

 

He had changed his clothes after all...black jeans and a light blue long sleeved shirt under his leather coat. Warmer, that way. He'd gotten into his beat up little bird and driven to the mansion, calming himself as much as he could. God had saved him from crying on the phone...and as he plastered a smile on his face and parked in front of the mansion, He'd save him from doing it in person.

 

Finally!  Shayla threw open the door and stomped out onto the small porch.  "There you are!  I thought I was going to have to come out and find you myself!  Five more minutes and I was callin' your house again!"

 

God… and she was a vision. He had to stop, as he got out of his car... and sighed. Blond tresses that caught the already dimming winter sun, no gook on her face, no glittering piercings. She looked...she looked like she could be a runway model.

 

She was gorgeous.

 

"Shay...hey." He swallowed a little. "I’m cool...got caught up. Your hair... you look really nice, girl."

 

She blushed, and it stood out against her cheeks and hair.  "Your fault," she grinned.  "Come on in, it's warm, there's fires in all the fireplace--hey, you changed!!"  She pouted.  "And I even have hot coffee waiting like you said."  She headed carefully down the steps, boots giving her added traction as snowflakes started to fall again.  Closer she got, the better look at his eyes she got, and her hands went to her hips.  "You called him, didn't you?"

 

He looked away. Dammit, she was beginning to know him. "Course I did." He grabbed her elbow so she wouldn’t slip, and helped her back up the steps, after handing his keys to Lex's little butler dude. "Thanks, man."

 

"Eet es no probleem, sir."

 

Pete took Shayla's hand in his and led her back into the house… shivering with cold and rubbing a hand over his head. "I’m going to go talk to him, actually."

 

"Not without me you're not."  She laced her fingers through his and held on firmly as she climbed the steps behind him, and then slammed the big door shut.  "Coffee's over here."  She didn't let go of his hand until they were standing by the table, and she wrapped his cold fingers around a hot cup.  "Okay.  Drink up, and then we'll go talk to Dickhead."  Then she dropped her hands to her jeans.  "Ooh, almost forgot."  She held up a little silver flask.  "Want some bite in the coffee?"

 

"Naw...Shay." But he did take the drink, because it was hot and warm, and it scalded his throat as it went down. Perfect. ...Then she had to go and offer liquor, and he held his cup out, swallowing as he watched her. "You really do look beautiful."

 

Shayla blushed as she filled the cup with brandy stolen from Lex's private stock, and then refilled the cup the rest of the way with coffee.  "Liquid courage."  She smiled as she looked up at him.  "I'm--I'm glad you think so.  Feels warm... right here," she said, lightly touching her stomach.  "In a good way, that is."  She put her hand on his shoulder, and squeezed.  "And okay.  Not letting you do this alone.  You've already been alone through too much of this shit already."

 

"Got to, Shay." He took another long sip and handed her the cup again...his eyes laced with his misery, but a convincing smile on his lips. "If you hear bellowin', its cause I went and pulled a Lorena Bobbitt on 'im, though."  But he did rub her stomach a little with the back of her fingers...feeling the muscles tense under it, and his thumb rubbed against the button of her jeans a little. Just to comfort...not to tease. "I like making you feel good here. You deserve it. Know what else will?"

 

"You only gotta do two things in this life, Pete Ross, and that's die and pay taxes.  Everythin' else is your choice to make, and bein' alone through this ain't right."  A very wicked grin approached her lips, but it turned into a very soft smile as he touched her and she purred, very very softly, in the back of her throat.  "What else will?"  She slid her hand down to gently touch his, eyes flickering up in anticipation.

 

And he smiled again, just a little, and it touched a little of the pain in his eyes and turned it to real happiness. "Chinese. Got a ton in the backa the car....grab it, will ya? I think Lex's man maid didn’t see it. Its gonna get snow on it. And I grabbed the whole first season of Buffy on DVD, yo. We c'n siddown and watch it...if you wanna, you know." He smiled, tenderly, and gently touched her cheek. "Wish me luck."

 

"Good luck."  She raised on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  "There.  Oh!!"  She reached into the back pocket of her jeans, and pulled out her wallet.  Opening it up, she dug through it and yelped in victory as she brought out an old, tattered piece of green construction paper.  "Okay, call me cheesy, but... cut this up in third grade, and ever since... I had good luck."  She unfolded the little square to show it as a shamrock, and then folded it back up and slid it into his hand.  "Luck of the Irish be with you."  Another kiss to his cheek.  "I won't be far; I'll take the food to the kitchen, heat it up, and take it and the DVDs up to my room, then I'll come back down here and find you, kay?"

 

"Yeah... okay." And the sentiment had him smiling, as he gently slid the little shamrock into his pocket… then gently touched her hair with his fingertips, ball catching in his throat. "Thank you, Shay. It...it helps, more'n you know. And... and I'll come find you after, kay? So...you're gonna be in the kitchen? Don’t member how ta get back to your room from here, so you’re gonna have to get me." He was making sure he knew, because he didn’t want to get in his car and leave her hanging… even though he knew he had the feeling that’s what he'd want to do.

 

"I will.  Don't worry.  I'll follow the voices, stick my head in the door to make sure everything's okay, and then I'll sit here on the stairs and read until you're done."  She turned just enough so that her hair covered his fingers instead of just his fingertips.  "I'm glad it helps, Pete... I want to help.  I want to kick his ass for you and make all that hurt in your eyes go away."

 

He couldn’t help smirking, just a little, and after running his fingers through all that pale gold, he let his hand fall. "He said you were givin' him and Bruce death glares." But he sobered, immediately, and swallowed. "Can’t...I can't believe they were....while I was here." He paused for a moment. "Shay, I gotta go talk to him, 'fore I lose my balls. Be back in a bit."

 

Before he walked off, she hugged him.  Hard and tight, her arms gripped his neck.  "Give 'em hell, Pete... I know you can do it.  I'm behind you, even if I'm not there with you."  Then she shoved him a few steps in the direction of the library.  "He's in the library."

 

He hugged her back, just as tightly, and she felt so... so small in his arms. So he give her an extra squeeze… then swallowed hard and nodded.

 

He walked across the hard wood floor...not daring a glance over his shoulder, and instead looked down the right hall. A few doors down a single one was open, and he could see bookshelves through that peak.

 

So he stuck his hands in his pockets, took on a nonchalant post, and whistled as he strolled down the hall, pushing that door open.

 

And the whistle stopped, on a dime.

 

Because they were necking.

 

Heaven. A little slice of it. Salt and sugar and strength and heat. Bruce murmured something as he kept kissing… fingertips tightening on the back of his lover’s skull, as he held him close and nibbled at that perfect, slim expanse of throat.

 

Dick sighed in contentment as Bruce's lips and teeth paid gentle homage to his throat, and he kept his head arched back in encouragement.  Soft little murmurs of his own spilled out of his throat as he slid his hands down Bruce's chest to rest against his belly, nails teasing through the cloth of his shirt.

 

He didn't hear the whistling, or the break of well-oiled hinges as the door swung open.

 

But Bruce did.

 

His well tuned senses picked up the steps, and the door, and he glanced up from his lover's neck... and swallowed, just a little. A book was still clutched in hand... he'd been in the middle of reading some things up on law when Dick had walked in, and... yes, well. He licked his lower lip and nodded at the younger man. "Mr. Ross." Then back to Dick. "I'll leave you both alone."

 

"Pete?"  Dick turned, flushing red as he adjusted his t-shirt.  "Bruce... yeah.  Thanks."  He stepped back against Bruce's comforting heat for just a minute and then took a step towards Pete. "I--I'm sorry.  I didn't hear you."

 

Bruce squeezed a slender, powerful shoulder, and as was his way, he disappeared.

 

"Hey, man, yeah. Sorry about that, want me to..." Pete motioned, and began to leave.

 

"No, it's okay.  I was interrupting Bruce anyhow.  He can read somewhere else."  Dick swallowed hard.  "I'm--it's nice to see you." 

 

Nice? Nice was too big a word. Dick… Sam...he looked so beautiful. His hair was… it was different, and his manner of holding himself, and... and even his voice felt different. But not his eyes. His eyes could never change, and it was in them that Pete would have willingly crawled up and died. "Nice to see you, too. How ya doin', man?" And he walked over and smiled, hands going back into his pockets. He didn’t dare touch.

 

"I'm...well, I'm okay.  I've been better, but all things considered, I'm doing okay."  He reached out to hug Pete.  "I--this fucking sucks."

 

Oh, no. Pete took a step back before he could touch him… swallowed... and hid the abrupt movement by walking around to the bookshelves. "Never been in here, yo... Lex has got some nice titles. Old, though."

 

Dick shoved his hands in his pockets, well aware of what Pete had just done.  Couldn't blame him, though.  "Yeah, most of 'em in here are older than you and me put together."  He leaned against the table that he and Bruce had just been making out on.  "Can we dump the bullshit, Pete?  Please?"

 

"What bullshit?" His eyebrow rose. "Dude, Huckleberry Finn. Bet ya ten bucks this is the very first edition, to, yo."

 

"Do you know how hard this is, man?  Standing here, listening to you spout off about books when there's this huge fucking thing that nobody's acknowledging here?"

 

"Thing? Ain’t no thing." He shook his head. "I’m aight. You're alright. What’s left to say?"

 

Dick crossed his arms over his chest.  "You tryin' to bullshit me, Pete?"

 

"Nope." He made a careless gesture, and picked up one of the books... turning away to peer into it. And calm himself. "Check it out, dude. 1873. Sheeeet."

 

Dick crossed the small room in a few steps, and clamped his hands down on Pete's shoulders.  "You look like shit, Pete.  You look like you haven't showered in a few days, you can't look me in the eye, and you expect me to think that you're all right?  Fuck you if you think that."

 

"Tryin to tell me I look bad, yo?" He smirked, and inside, his gut was roiling with the want to start screaming. Oh, please get your hands off. "I’m alright. Just been tired. Family shit."

 

Dick's grip tightened on Pete's shoulders.  "Don't feed me that shit."

 

"Get your hands off me." Soft but strong, and he tried to shake him away.

 

Dick refused to be shaken off.  "Be honest with me."

 

"Honest? Honestly? Naw, its not bullshit, man." He tried again and this time wrenched free, and took a few steps away...gently replacing the book before looking back at him. "Its not. How's the big man? Feelin nice?"

 

Dick lashed out.  "You really wanna know?  He's great.  He was a little jealous at first when I told him you and I had been lover's, but as soon as he slid inside me last night, he got over it."

 

Pete had never felt such pain in his life.

 

Quick, blinding, the words struck him like a blow, and his eyes widened...unseeing for a moment as that sank in. His… this man… he had no words. No words. This man, who he loved with his entire heart, had just... it… he'd been thrown away, into the wind, and Pete almost couldn’t breathe with the crushing pain. "I...I’m g.. .glad. H-He's a nice guy."

 

Dick ached.  "Yeah, he is.  Great guy.  Love it when he's jealous, though... never realized it before but Bruce is kinda possessive... fucked me through the mattress after he found out about how close you and I were."

 

His breath strangled audibly in his throat and he turned away, looking back at the books. Pete would have, gladly, sunk to the floor and cried until he couldn’t breathe, and died, quite peacefully. This man, who... it didn’t matter. It never mattered. No one ever...Christ. He closed his eyes and rubbed the piercing lance in the middle of his chest...keeping his voice deceptively light. "I’m glad y...you had fun. Deserve someone who knows w...what they're doing." And saying it hurt worse then anything else in the world.

 

"Why'd you come here, Pete?"  Dick let it go; Pete... Pete didn't care.  Never cared.  Was just using him for the fun and the sex, and that had been why he'd fought it so hard in the car, not wanting to say it, wanting it to stay fun and sex.  Dick should have known to let it go then, but... no.  He couldn't.  "You can't even look at me."

 

"No...s'pose I can't." He murmured it, and looked up as twin tears escaped him...but Pete wasn’t angry. There was only so much God could do. "I came here to say goodbye to you, Sam. --Sorry...Dick."

 

"What happened to the friends and the small talk, Pete?"  But the tears locked his chest up.  "Pete--"

 

"Hey, Pete... I got the DVDs up--"  Whoa.  Shayla stuck her head in the door and got a look at the situation and growled.  "I got the DVDs upstairs."  She walked into the room and stood between him and Dick.  "Hey... don't let him see you cry, Pete," she whispered softly.  "He don't deserve the tears."  She squeezed his hands as they were hidden in his pockets.  "Want me to stay?"

 

"Shay... get the fuck out," Dick growled.  "This is between me and Pete."  The tears just cut into him. 

 

"No...it's alright, Shay." He offered a little smile at her, and kissed her cheek, letting himself linger a moment and get strength from her. His hand, when it squeezed hers, was vice tight for a moment before he let go. "Thanks, but we got it." Pete glanced up at Dick, and said very carefully, "Don’t talk to my friend that way."

 

She kissed his cheek back, and hugged him for good measure.  "Remember, luck of the Irish.  Be strong."  She glared back at Dick.  "Fuck you, my friend, and the billionaire you rode in on."  She looked back at Pete.  "I'll be readin' on the stairs like I promised."

 

"Get.  Out."  Dick said it far more calmly than he felt.  "She's my friend too, and I can talk to her any way I want to."

 

That stopped her in her tracks, and she bit her tongue.  She'd promised not to say anything to Dick about Pete, but that didn't mean she couldn't say it on her own behalf.  "Was your friend, past tense, so fucking past tense that it can't BE any more past!  You're a dickhead, you have shit for brains, you hurt my friend, and I don't even wanna know you."  She gave Pete's hand another squeeze on the way out the door.

 

"Just get out."

 

He swallowed...watched her go.. .but couldn’t quite let himself look at Dick, as he walked further away from him and over to the plate glass window's. The land outside was like out of a dream...unmarred skin for as far as he could see against a pale winter sky. It was perfect snowman making weather.

 

He'd never make one with his lover.

 

Pete watched the little snow flakes falling… light and beautiful, hitting the glass and the ground like tissue paper, falling with the greatest of ease.

 

"Thank God," Dick muttered, and slammed the door behind her as she went.  "Nosy, pushy little woman..."  Gritted teeth.  Pink hair or not, this was her fault for shoving them both together like she had in the car.  "Pete... I'm not going to let you say goodbye."

 

"Got to." He said it softly, watching the glass as the sill right outside began to gather snow...as the large tree down from them rustled in the cool winter wind.

 

"I'm not gonna lose my best friend.  Haven't had one in a long time, and no, Bruce doesn't count.  I mean my age, to hang out with."

 

"Man, you don’t even know, do you?" He finally looked away from the snow, glancing at Dick for a moment, before back outside. "You've already lost me, Dick."

 

"I can't have lost you, Pete.  Not all of you."  He moved to stand behind Pete, just barely outside his personal space.  "I--you're important to me."

 

"Not that important, I guess." Was his murmur, pressing a palm against the glass as he watched the snow fall.

 

"Important enough to want not to lose you," was Dick's quiet answer as he moved closer to Pete, inch by inch.  "Made Bruce come here, instead of the apartment... wouldn't let him get in the way of what we had there."

 

He stepped away again, further, and moved around Dick's encroaching body, walking instead over to the large mahogany piano in the corner. Pete stopped by it...looked down at the shining wood, and pressed his hands again into his pockets, taking on his normal nonchalant pose.

 

They'd made love, when Dick’s body had barely warmed from the kisses Pete had pressed to his face.

 

Oh, God.

 

"You didn’t have to do that, Dick. You know that. It's totaly cool, man, and I get it. We're still homies. Why are we talkin' about this shit?  We can siddown and watch the game, if you want."

 

"Sit down and watch the game?"  Dick followed Pete across the room.  "No, we can't.  Because you can barely stand to be in the same fucking room with me, and that's killing me, Pete.  You look like you're about two seconds from a cardiac arrest, and you think we're gonna sit down and watch the game?  There's not a room in this castle big enough."  He crossed his arms over his chest again, glaring.  "We're talking about it because I want the old Pete back."  Assuming he ever cared in the first place...

 

"You can’t fucking HAVE HIM!" He suddenly yelled, loudly, snarling at him as he took another few steps back. "You can’t ever have him again, you fucking prick, so you stay the hell away from me!" And here it was. He'd tried, God only knew how hard he'd tried. But it was going to come out, and it was going to be bad. "I'd stop breathing if you fucking told me to, but look at you. You're too busy loving someone else to give a rats ass."

 

"What?"  Dick jumped at the shout.  "You think--you think I don't care?"  Dick's voice was incredulous.  "I'm standing here, in front of you, begging you to find a way to still be my friend because I fucking need you, and somehow, I don't care?"

 

Shayla shot straight up off the steps, scrabbling for balance at the yell.  This was not good, not good at all.  She wanted to go back in there... but Pete had said he'd be okay along.  Sitting back on the steps, she wrapped her arms around her knees, put her forehead down, and cried for her friend.

 

"No, you don’t care." He turned away from him, hands slipping out of his pockets to wrap tight in front of his chest. His voice softened...until it was almost whisper quiet, and he looked down as he squeezed his eyes shut. "You can't have everything."

 

"Then let me at least have you, Pete.  The way we were, before all this shit with Bruce.  The pizza and the beer and the hooking you up to find you the right girl."

 

"Can't ever be th...that way again." He was crying again and he was trying so hard, but it wasn’t working. He walked further into the room... and once he was sure he had control of himself, he turned to stare at him. "I let you inside me. I let a part of you inside me. I can still feel you," He pressed his palm to his stomach, and his chin shook. "Hot in my belly, and I know that even as I’m saying it... you don’t care. You don’t care that you left me to be with him, you don’t care that I’m hurting, you don’t care because you've gotten the love of your life back. No amount of pizza and beer is going to fix that."

 

"I do care."  He walked over to Pete quickly, pressed his hand over Pete's.  "I care, so much more than you realize.  You were exactly what I needed in my life; you held me together and helped me get my shit together so I could be Sam.  Not Dick.  I wanted to be Sam for you.  I still would be, if I could."

 

"I told you to stay a-away from me." But he couldn’t pull away, unable to meet his eyes. "You're not Sam anymore because you never were. You can't have everything. You did the worst thing someone can do to someone else...you made me fall in love with a lie." He was going to die. Before this was over, they were going to put him in the ground. It wasn’t right, for someone to hurt this badly, this much, and for that other person not to care. "I loved Sam. With everything in me that is capable of loving. He was my friend, he was my teacher… he taught me what it is to be a good man. Ate pizza with me every day, made love to me every night. But you...you're not Sam. You’re not 18, and you’re not in high school. You’re a lie." His voice caught... he couldn’t help a little laugh. "You probably look at me and just laugh. Silly little boy."

 

"But I am Sam, Pete... I'm still the same guy you ate pizza with and played ball with. I'm just a little older. And I never laughed at you, Pete. Ever. I never compared you to Bruce. I loved you on your own terms, for the good things you brought to my life."  Dick tightened his grip on Pete, not letting him go.  "You were the best thing about this place."

 

"You’re lying." He wrenched away when he felt those hands tighten. No. He wouldn’t get caught up in that. No. "I can see it. I was your escape from reality. And here I sat, everyday, thinking that this was it. That we could make a future out of what we had. I figured, you know, Clark and Lex are doing it, why can't we?" He was shaking, like a leaf, and he moved again, away from him, and closer to the window. "You never compared me to Bruce, but wasn’t it fun breaking in the virgin? Didn’t you say it yourself? The more innocent they are, the more irresistible they are?" He threw his eyes back. "Would you have continued to lie to me? Would you have waited a year...two, before telling me the truth? Let me live your fantasy life?"

 

Dick's heart ached when he felt Pete jerking away from him, but he didn't follow.  Couldn't follow.  "It's true, Pete... innocence is irresistible. That's something I learned from Bruce. And yeah, okay, you were my escape from reality. You let me be Sam Menkins, okay? You didn't hide part of your life from me, you let me in, fuck, you were even gonna drag me to Sunday dinner at your parents' house! I can't get much more into your life than that! And I would have stayed here with you, Pete, for as long as you'd wanted me. I told you that too. I came here to hide from Bruce, but I ended up finding you."  He swallowed hard.

 

Pete's voice was unbelieving... he laughed a little. "I wanted my parents to meet my boyfriend. I wanted them to talk to you… my mom knew already, a little. I wanted them to see that you were worth it. But look, here I am, making a drama out of this." He rubbed a palm over his face, and his voice was resigned. There was nothing else he could do. Sam was gone, Dick was gone, and there was no way to get him back.

 

And the crushing pain in his chest only screwed tighter. "Go back to him, Dick. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. My insides can’t...can’t break more then they already have."

 

"I never meant to hurt you, Pete. I didn't want to; I never would have. I just... you were right about one thing; he needs me and I need him. But you're wrong about one thing... it wasn't all lies, Petey... if you'd asked me, I'd have walked away from Bruce. But you never asked. You kept telling me he was where I belonged, and you're right. But I loved you enough that I'd have walked away from him if you'd asked."  His grip on his own arms tightened.  "I would have gone, you know... gone, met the parents, done the good boyfriend thing... for you.  I'd have done it to keep you in my life."

 

"And that’s where we're different, Dick. Why would I ask a question that was right there? Why would I ask you to stay with me, when I knew you never wanted me in the first place?" He turned to stare at him. "You chose, and not because I chose for you--don’t put this on my hands. You chose him, and you're happy. Me..." He shrugged a simple shoulder. I'll carry on, like I always carry on. There’s not much else I can do."

 

"I did want you, Pete. Wanted you enough to do everythin' I could to make love to you and bring you closer to me.  Enough to... enough to have pushed Bruce away in the coffee shop... I went home with you, Pete."

 

I trusted you with my life. I’m such a fool. "But I never quite got close enough, did I? I tried so hard to be what you wanted, and I keep thinking back about what it is that I did wrong. What I could have done differently, and why some black farm kid from Kansas could ever measure up to Bruce Wayne, head of his company and rich and white and everything anyone would ever want. The only reason you went home with me was b..." His chin shook again, and he looked away. Went home. He'd never go to that home again. "Was because you were too angry with him not to."

 

"Pete... it's not like that. You were everything I wanted. You were everything I needed. I needed you badly. I still do need you, I need you to be my friend. You gave me everything, Pete, and I love you for it. And I gave you everything I could. Fuck... I'm just makin' things worse, I know, but... Jesus, you were perfect, Pete. Okay? It wasn't you. It was me."  He moved over to the same window Pete had just left.  "It was all my fault."

 

Pete's voice was very soft...smiling at himself, though the smile was sickly and hollow with pain. "You must have thought I was so stupid. Coming over, drinking beers, watching porn. You must have thought of me as a little brother." He took another step, to the bookshelf again, and looked at it without seeing. "Baby Pete. Ain’t that what you always call me? Baby? You're five years older then me. Five years. I just turned 17. Almost six years. Must have thought of me as such a child. Such a little boy. You needed me, yeah, I know you needed me. That first time, I know I was nothing more then some randy kid you couldn’t deny. I didn’t even give you a good fuck. How you must have looked at me. Christ. You must have thought I was such a child, such a stupid little boy. Oh, God."

 

Dick exploded, yelling.  "Don't you ever think that! Don't you ever! I never thought of you as a child, or a little boy. You were my baby, Pete, my lover. I wanted you so much. I needed you so much. I went nuts without you over the holidays cause I knew I wasn't part of your family and I couldn't drag you away from 'em, much as I wanted to. You don't... you can't know how good it felt when you told me you wanted to be exclusive. I felt like you'd just given me the world on a platter, and that feelin' was something Bruce never gave me."

 

"I’m sorry I couldn’t be for you what he is to you." His murmur felt dull on his tongue. "I hope to God that you're happy for the rest of your life. I'll pray for nothing but goodness for you both. Adopt some kids, raise a family. Be happy, Dick. Because you deserve it, so much more then you think." He gently touched the bind of a book...fingering the gold lettering softly. Black Beauty. Who knew Lex had a soft spot.

 

"Pete... I want you to be happy too. Come... come back to Gotham city with us. We'll get you enrolled in the University there. We'll be friends again. Please."

 

"I can’t do that. Whatever is left of my life is here, in Smallville."

 

"You can start over again. Me and Bruce, we'll help you. It'll be you and me, Pete."

 

The words had him turning...and just staring, with disbelief, "Do you think starting over, in the same city where I know you and Bruce are sharing a bed, is the place for me to start over, Dick? Do you think I can talk to you everyday, and know that he's...how'd you put? Driving you into the mattress every night?"

 

Dick was desperate.  "How about it just being place where you and me can start over, Pete? Not worryin' about who's in who's bed. New city, new faces, and friends to help you out."

 

"I can’t believe this." And he couldn’t. He was staring at his Sam... at Dick, and he could see that he meant his words. And he couldn’t believe them. Couldn’t believe he thought it would be just simple as pie, pick up his life and move to Gotham, where he'd always be sloppy seconds. "I can't believe you think we can go from being lover's to being friends, Dick. I can't believe you think its just easy, like that, one two three, and I forget about everything that I feel for you, everything we've shared in this past six months. But what is six months, really? If you think about it...half a year. A hundred and eighty days. Three fourths a school year. Its nothing. Just like me. Nothing. I can’t talk to you, and call you Dick, and ask how you're doing. Your life is Bruce."

 

"Does this look like it's easy, Pete? Fuck no. But you're worth it to me, okay? You're worth whatever pain I gotta go through to have you in my life. You're my friend; you always will be, and I gotta have that. This ain't easy for me, either, but it's how much I need you."

 

"You want my friendship, and to forget about everything else."

 

"I can't walk away from Bruce again. I just can't, Pete... it's too late for that. I can't be your lover and his too, but I want to be your friend, because it's all of you I got left."

 

And there it was.

 

What he'd been waiting for Dick to say. There it was, out for everyone to see. Dick was choosing Bruce over him, no matter how much the older man had hurt him, no matter how much Pete loved him. It was all for nothing. It always was. "I can't do that. I’m sorry. I can't....won't split myself in half, just so you and I can chill and play video games. I’m not going to suppress and deny myself the pleasure of a relationship later on, because I’m sitting around with you, and I’m still so in love with you I can't talk to you without crying. I won't do that to myself, Dick. Because I’m better then that."

 

"Pete--I'll do whatever it takes, baby. Just... tell me what it'll take."  Anything to have Pete still in his life.  "Please, baby... just... anything."

 

"What it takes, you don’t have it." He would be strong. Because he had to be. "Don’t call me baby. I’m not your baby anymore."

 

"I'll get it, ba--Pete. Just... please."  Heartbroken, tight chest aching.  "You'll always be my baby."

 

He just shook his head, and turned away from him, moving towards the door. "I'm going to go home. I'll see you around, Dick."

 

"Pete, don't. Don't go. please."

 

"Got to. There’s nothing left, here." He glanced over his shoulder. "I meant what I said. Be happy with him, Sam..--Dick." His heart caught, and screamed in his mind. Happiness he'd never get to have. "I’m so sorry I’m ruining your joy with him by acting like this."

 

"No!! You're not ruining anything, baby. I just... please, I need you."  He reached out for him.  "You can call me Sam--I'd like it if you did."

 

"I am. I’m ruining your new joy with him. My ma always said that drama would get you nowhere. Seeing what she meant by that now." He didn’t say anything more, and dug his hands back into his pockets.

 

"No you're not. You're not ruinin' anything, Pete. Just... Jesus. You're makin' me hurt, cause I don't want you hurt, but you're not ruinin' anything. Please, baby... I gotta know how to make you better."

 

"Its not bullshit. Its true. I'll be okay." Quietly.

 

"Pete--please. You gotta stick with me."

 

"No. I’m sorry for that, but no. Because our friendship would end like all long distance friendships end… slowly and bitterly. I’d get your letters, and hear your voice, and the pain would be new again. I have enough pain in my life, Sam. More then you'd ever know. I don’t want more."

 

"That's why you gotta come with me to Gotham. Or if you don't like that, New Haven. Bruce can pull some strings, get you into the same college I'm goin' to."

 

"Dick, god dammit, you don’t understand. You don’t get it. Put yourself in my shoes." He thumped himself in the chest. "Stand in my place and see what I’m seeing. Look. You're not seeing it, Dick. You're not seeing what I’m going through."

 

"I've already lost my lover, Pete... don't make me lose my best friend too. God, don't you think I know it won't be easy? It ain't easy now."

 

"Hurt in your chest? Right in the middle? Does it hurt to breathe? Do you feel like you're life is 'out to end?" He shook his head at him, and looked him straight in the eye. "You've got someone to turn over to and hug and kiss, and whisper about how bad you feel for your poor little black friend. You haven’t lost a lover, Dick. Not at all. You just traded one for another. More skilled, older, wiser then me. You have someone, and I have no one. And that’s how it'll always be. Everyone around me has someone… and I’m alone. Because I’m Pete." He shook his head again. "You have no idea how hard it would be. None. Because you would talk to me and feel bad, and then go home and tell your lover all about it. And I would go home and stare at the wall and figure out how I was going to make it through another day without you, or, for that matter, how I was going to make it through another day. And I'd have no one. No family, no friends to rely on. No one."

 

"Pete... no. It doesn't have to be that way. I'll be there with you. We'll talk shit out, just like we always do."  More desperation in his voice, a throbbing tightness in his chest.  "We can do this, Pete... it's us.  We can... we can find a way to work this out."

 

He laughed again… softly, and turned away. "And now I have nothing. I don’t have you. I don’t have my friends. I have no one to fall back on. You were it, man. You were my best friend. You taught me everything. Everything. You taught me love. And you taught me the worst pain I’ve ever felt." He was quiet for several long moments, looking at the closed door as God did something for him, for once. He gave him strength. "Don’t ever talk to me again. Don’t call me... don’t write me. Pretend I was a dream for six months, and it was nice, but now that its over, its time to move on. Pretend I’m dead."

 

"I can't do that, Pete... I won't do that.  I--you were the best thing in my life when nothin' else was there for me.  Can't lose that, don't wanna lose that.  Pete... Don't.  Please, don't."

 

"You got to, Dick. Cause in my heart, I'm burying my lover. He's dead to me. He's gone. And there ain’t no way I can ever have him back. Can’t sit around, talk shit with him… ask him advice. Can't call him and ask him if he wants to come chill out an' watch movies with me all Saturday night. Can’t help him with his English... I can’t go out on dates with him. Never feel the pride of having gotten him to climax and know it was me, my body, that did it. Because Sam is gone. And in his place is this... this person, who I don’t know. He's older, and he's in college, and he's doing things with his life. He's dating this billionaire, you see, just like another friend of mine. And it seems to me that that’s the way my life will go. I will have someone, for a little while, and when they've decided they’re bored, they'll move on to bigger and better things. But hey, you know, its my lot in life. I’ve accepted it." He nodded. "You should too."

 

"That's--"  Nothing but the truth, Dick reflected sadly.  Pete couldn't help him with his homework--not that he'd needed it, but it had been an excuse to get him over there--because it was sophomore college classes.  It wasn't going to be Pete's hand anymore, or Pete's body... it was going to be Bruce's.  Nothing but the truth, and it was a stab through Dick's heart because until that second, he'd refused to even acknowledge it. 

 

Now, Pete stabbed him with it, and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

"Yesterday, when I left...in your mind you thought to yourself, "He'll be alright.". Right?"

 

"No."  I didn't think at all, I was so glad to see Bruce, be in his arms again.  Oh, Pete... I hurt you.

 

"You should think it now." He nodded easily. "You really should. Cause I will. I’m going to be alright. Everything is going to be alright. And if it isn’t, we'll work through it, in our own separate ways. These things happen in life, Dick, its what this little concept called 'living' is about. I knew it wouldn’t last, and I knew this day would come. I’ve already accepted it, so I don’t want you worrying about me, aight?" He isn’t worried about you. his mind whispered.

 

"No.  I fucking refuse, all right?  You can forget about me, if you want to, but I'm not gonna stop worrying about you.  I'm not going to stop looking out for you, and if you see Robin around here, then don't be surprised.  He's going to be checking in on you from time to time to make sure nobody's fuckin' up your life."

 

He watched him for a long moment...and just laughed. Had to. Because if not, he was going to cave in. His chest was going to implode, and he was going to die. As it was he could barely speak, through the lump heavy in his throat. He honestly thought Pete could forget? This was going to stay with him for the rest of his life. He was going to hurt for it, years down the road, because he was very sure that no one would ever wrong him as deeply as Dick had done last night. He'd been in shock...but now it was here, it was pain, seeing him and knowing he could never touch those soft lips again, never hug him tight, never sit around and kick back. "Ain’t no need for it, Dick."

 

The laughter cut.  Deeply.  He was giving Pete everything he could... everything he had left that wasn't Bruce's... and Pete was laughing at it.  Not another second.  Dick turned, and walked out of the library, slamming the sliding panel in place behind him.  Didn't say anything, couldn't say goodbye, not without... not without something.  Slam of the panel, then leaning against it and sucking in deep, shaky breaths.  He needed Bruce.

 

He waited for a moment… one... two... making sure Dick was gone, and the laugh turned to a gasp. Hard, quaking, harsh breaths and Pete sank to the ground, curling his knees around himself and his face pressed into them. He'd been so strong… his mother would have been proud of him for being as strong as he had. But now, here, he couldn’t even breathe. He couldn’t. He couldn’t cry… he couldn’t move... he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe.

 

He sank lower...head falling between his knees, hands over the top of it, and now... now. He cried. Heavy, hard masculine noises of pain, and he had to leave, had to get out of here, had to find Shayla and leave. He wouldn’t stay here, knowing Dick was in Bruce's arms, telling him everything, about the stupid little boy he'd been trying to shake off who wouldn’t let go.

 

He was nothing. It was all... for nothing.

 

Dick thumped his head on the door panel, listening to the sobs coming from the library.

 

From his Pete... his baby.

 

He couldn't lose Pete.  Couldn't let him go... but he had to.  He slid the door back open, just enough to squeeze through, and walked soundlessly over to Pete.  He got down on his knees and wrapped his arms around his friend.  "Pete.  It's okay.  Don't cry.  Please, baby... don't cry."

 

Oh, God.

 

He tried to stifle it, but the hard sobs wracked over him like the shaking leaves in the tree outside the window. He wrapped his arms tightly around his friend, this shell of his friend, and held on tight as he could. The smell of him… the feel he'd never get to feel again, and his knees were tight against him, as tight as his arms were around Dicks chest. He buried his face in the soft neck and tried to calm himself enough to speak. Tried, so hard.

 

"It's okay."  Dick's hands stroked over the back of Pete's head, tight throat with tears he couldn't shed, no matter how hard he tried.  He'd just trained himself not to cry too many years ago.  He tightened his grip on Pete, held him tight.  "It's okay.  Don't cry, Pete."

 

"It's not alright. Its not a-alright, its not." The tears were thick in his voice, and soaking into Sam’s shoulder, and it felt like they were sitting at home after Pete's parents had a fight, and he was holding him.  "I’m s...s-sorry, I loved you so m… much, I loved you, I’m s-sorry I wasn’t good enough, I’m s...so sorry, I’m sorry I wasn’t what you needed, I t-tried so hard, I’m so sorry."

 

"Pete... God.  You were.  You were good enough, you really were."  He rocked his friend gently, fighting the tightness in his chest, fighting to breathe.  "It's not you, baby, I swear.  It's me... it's me.  I love you, I always will love you.  You didn't just try, you succeeded.  You're the only person who gave me the world on a platter, Pete, and I'll never forget you for that.  You... you're damned special."

 

He pulled away...rocking himself as he wiped in vane at his face, pushing his coat sleeves over his eyes, his cheeks, trying to get himself to stop. "Dick, y...you gotta go to him. It's…I'm ok-okay. I just couldn’t... I’m sorry. Y… you're so beautiful, so wonderful a-and fun, and I’m sorry." He was choking on pain, as he climbed to his feet. "Its...its gonna be akay, you... you know, its alright." He nodded and wiped again at his face. The first cry of the night. He knew there'd be more coming. And it was so strange, because he hadn’t cried in almost 8 years...but here he was. Everything that had been stored up was coming out now. And he hated being weak in front of this man...just another thing to pity. Hated hurting for him, hated being in this much pain.

 

Dick stayed down on his knees as Pete got up to his feet.  "I'm so sorry, Pete.  I'm sorry.  I never meant to hurt you like this... had no idea this was gonna happen like this.  Never thought Bruce'd come; never thought he'd find me, I thought I'd hidden well enough I'd never be found.  If I'd known... I swear, baby, I never woulda hurt you like this."  He looked up, panting softly as he tried to breathe through the thickness in his throat and his chest.  "Forgive me, Pete, please... don't let me have fucked you up forever.  You gotta find someone who'll make you as happy as you made me."

 

Christ. As soon as he got himself under reins, Dick had to go and say something like that. His chin trembled and he looked away… shaking his head. "You would have gone back to him eventually. Pain wo-would have eaten you inside out. Would have gone back anyway, and I would have known how bad you felt." A heavy, hard swallow. "Ain’t nothin to forgive. Nothin. You did what was right...I just can't deal." He swallowed again, working his throat against the hard lumps. "I’m… I’m gonna go. I got to, now."

 

Dick didn't move.  "I know, I don't want you to go, but... you gotta.  But you always got a friend in me, Pete...always.  Anything you ever need... come to me and you'll get it."

 

"Yeah." Except what I need from you, someone already has. "I'll see ya, Dick."

 

And he turned, and walked, unseeing, back into the hallway.

 

As soon as Pete was gone, Dick's shoulders shook, but his eyes were dry.  He wanted to cry, wanted to let the pain inside out... but it just... wouldn't come.  He stayed in the library for a very long time, shaking silently.

 

Shayla was on her feet as soon as he came into view.  "Holy..." she breathed quietly.  Pete looked like he'd just had his heart torn out, and she dropped her book on the floor, running over to him.  "Pete?"  Her arms went around his waist like they belonged there as soon as she got to him.  "Pete... come on."

 

He didn’t see her for a moment...blinking and glancing down. Pretty eyes and blond hair, and he sort of nodded, numb, and put an arm around her waist. "Hey."

 

"Come on.  Food, coffee, beer, booze, and Buffy.  All upstairs waiting.  Let's go."  She started guiding him up the main staircase.  "You gonna make it upstairs, Pete?"

 

He shook his head a little, feet planting themselves one in front of the other as his grip tightened on her waist.

 

She stopped him then, laying her head on his shoulder.  "Come on.  I'll help you.  Lean on me, we'll make it."  She rubbed her cheek against his, snuffling and hiding the fact she'd been crying half an hour as the raised voices made it out to her.  "You can always lean on me."  Tight, always tight grip on his waist, squeezing tight as their footsteps started together again.

 

He did. He took her offer and sagged against her… walking slowly and surely, trembling as he walked. He… she was... oh, she'd been crying, and he saw it. He gently pressed his cheek closer and added his tears to her face, walking slowly and softly. "He picked him."

 

"Idiotic fucker," she growled softly, sniffling again when she felt his tears sliding onto her cheek.  "He had no business pickin' Bruce.  He belongs with you, you deserve to be happy."  She kept guiding them up the stairs, and then down the hall towards her room. 

 

He didn’t quite make it. He tried, but his knees didn’t want to hold his weight anymore and he fell against the wall...gasping...pushing himself back up and swallowing. He reached over and held onto her, burying his face in her throat, and tried to breathe...shaking his face against her. "No more. Please. No more. Don’t…don’t want to think about...no more. Please."

 

Shayla held him tightly, rubbing the back of his neck softly with her fingertips.  "No, we won't think about him."  She let him shake in her arms, holding him tightly.  "We won't think about me kicking his balls up his nose either."  She moved just enough to slide one of his arms around her shoulders, and the other around his waist so she was totally wrapped in his arms.  "There we go... hold onto me, Pete... I'll help you through all this.... somehow."  Squeezing his waist, she rested her chin on his forehead for a moment before cradling his head to her.

 

"Its gonna be okay. 'm gonna be okay." He said it very softly, eyes shut tight shut he put his arms around her as they walked slowly back into her bedroom...and he watched her as she shut the door behind them.

 

"Sh...Shay?"

 

"Yeah?"  She locked the door with her key, and dropped it onto the table as she turned to look at him.

 

"Its okay if I spent the night?" Softly, chin trembling as he gazed down at the floor between their feet.

 

"Oh yeah."  She tugged his hand over to her closet, and opened it.  "Check it out... got your stuff out of the car and everything."  His jeans and shirts were hanging in the closet, right beside hers.  "I... um, needed something to do for a while."

 

He smiled a little...and slowly leaned back, sitting on her bed. He was feeling...like he was going to do something stupid and reckless, but instead, he offered his arms. "C...could you just hold me a while?"

 

"Of course... it'd be my pleasure."  Shayla shut the door to her closet, snagged the remote, and climbed into bed beside Pete.  With a soft, gently smile, she slipped into the offered arms, wrapping her own around him in exchange and snuggling into the warmth his body offered. "Mmm.  This feels good."

 

He didn’t say anything, just laying back on the sheets and covers, and held her close. Warm and soft and female and his heart felt dead in his chest, like a boulder had been slid into place. And it was wrong of him to be here, to be holding her like this, but he needed...he needed someone. Anyone. He held her closer to him, to his chest, gently aligning their hips and legs, and spooned her carefully in front of him.

 

"Im very sad."

 

"I know you are."  She left her head on his shoulder, eyes looking down.  "I'm sad for you, Pete... I really want to make you feel better, but I don't know how.  No," she said softly, resting her hand on his stomach.  "I don't mean that way.  Not right now.  I just... it hurts my heart."

 

"There isn’t anything anyone can do." A gentle murmur. "Nothing. I want to sleep...can I sleep a while?"

 

"Of course you can."  Shayla nuzzled his chin softly.  "You can sleep as long as you want to; I'll be here when you wake up."  She left her hand on his stomach.  "I'll watch out for you, Pete.  I promise."

 

Shayla nodded once, turning onto her side, sliding her leg over Pete's.  "Go to sleep, sweetie."  She kissed his cheek, stroked his forehead, pressed butterfly kisses to each of Pete's eyes as they closed.  She held tight as his grip on her slowly slackened as he slept, and then tightened on her as she shifted slightly.  Picking up the remote, she dialed the volume almost silent, and turned on music videos to help her friend sleep.

 

She left her head on his shoulder, and contented herself with thoughts of just how many ways she could kill Dick Grayson.  

 

 

~ * ~

 

Night sky. Moonlight. Heavy, sweet scents, the pungent aroma of water lilies ripe in the summer air. Crickets and lightening bugs made their nightly noises... and he made his own. Groaning...soft over the pliant, soft body under his. It wasn’t a memory but a distinct fantasy, and the breasts in his hands were firm and beautiful. Chocolate, like his own skin, and he could just duck his head and lick across those pert nipples....hear her gasp and squirm under him.

 

But as he touched, that skin slowly went translucent… then white as cream, and it was Shayla's body he was touching, and Shayla's eyes he was looking into.

 

And he was aware, as he woke, that he was pressed in tightly behind her, and he was stroking her breasts, fondling them with the hand not tucked under the pillow they shared. Again.

 

His hand had made it under her shirt, though how he'd never know. And his palm was filled with the soft, silky bra, and the even softer skin underneath. He was rubbing… over and over against those hard nipples, and as his eyes flickered open... he found he couldn’t stop himself. Not when it was so warm, and she was so responsive, and he was so numb.

 

When Pete's body had started shifting behind her, Shayla had wakened from her light drowse to check on him.  Then his hand on her stomach, sliding under the untucked hem of her shirt and touching her warm skin. 

 

Oh yes.

 

She turned softly, giving his hand access to her body, making quiet noises in her throat as his thumb played over her nipple.  Her legs were wrapped tightly together around one of his, and her eyes were open, watching him.

 

When his eyes opened fully... she kissed him.  Hot and hard, just like she'd done in the coffee shop the other day, only more of it.  Another soft grunt as she tasted him, then licked her lips as she pulled away.  "You taste good."

 

The taste shocked him. It swam through his thoughts and across the fantasy still playing in his head... and knew now, that she tasted like caramel sugar between those sweet thighs and fresh apples between those soft lips.

 

It was a drug. And he was inclined to take more.

 

He leaned in and gently kissed her...as softly as he was able to, closed lips meeting her own... tasting... touching. Their skin touched...then slowly let go, with each little mating of lips he gave to her. Her breasts, under his hand, were soft as molten wax, and he settled on the left… tracing the shape. He shouldn’t be doing this, but it felt so good...and he was so numb and tired inside. She was so responsive, and he normally calmed his body, controlled it.

 

Not now.

 

He pressed his hardening member gently against her jean covered thigh...ducking his head and licking softly across her lips… tracing the line of them.

 

She opened her mouth under his tongue, her legs shifting so that they rested on either side of him as she raised her torso just a little, letting a pillow slide down to push her forward.  His taste was dusky and sweet, like hot molasses candy at the taffy pull back home, and she licked her lips and his tongue to get more of it.

 

Her hands slid over his shoulders, one cupping the back of his neck, the other sliding down his chest and stomach, to rub once against the hard bulge pressing against her thigh.  "Pete...," she moaned softly, breathily, her nipples pebbled under his touch, and aching like fire.

 

He hitched...groaned under her touch, and shook his head, gently pulling her palm away from him. "N...no..." A whisper, as he ducked down and touched his mouth to her neck...her collar bone, tracing the shape of bone as it traveled to her throat. "Let me make you feel good again... please."

 

Too many clothes. Way too many. He leaned up and sat on his haunches...pulling her up just enough so he could tug the shirt over her head, and he feasted on her breasts. Soft and pale, round mounds peaking from the simple bra, and he buried his face between them, licking at the skin as his palms caressed each one.

 

"Yes--yes, okay, Pete, please."  She raised her arms as her shirt went over her head, and she whimpered softly.  "Let me see you too, please, want to see you, touch you."  Her hands stroked urgently over his still-clothed chest as she trembled in pleasure, pebbled nipples throbbing with each lick of his tongue against her skin.

 

"Yes.." He groaned. He'd undress this time… but not a lot of touching. She didn’t need to be a part of his body, and he didn’t want her ruining herself by his touch.

 

He reared up and lifted his arms… pushing the shirt and undershirt up over his head, and the cool air of the room made the sweat on his long back cold. His nipples hardened immediately and he sighed, heavily, reaching down and gathering her close again. Anything to touch those lovely nipples.

 

Which he did. He gently peeled the bra away… tossed it... and wrapped his mouth around her breast, sucking at the perky, gorgeous nipple with steady, hot sucks.

 

Shay's fingers slid over his skin, feeling the muscled abs and the firm stomach and shivering.  He was so beautiful, so dark and lovely against her, and she couldn't help the squeal of his name as his mouth closed over her nipple. 

 

Her mouth pressed kisses on his forehead, her hands teased his biceps gently with her nails.  "Oh, God, Pete... you're so... God, you're so handsome."  His hard nipples drew her fingers, and she tweaked one gently, experimentally between her fingers.  "Pete, please... God, yes."

 

She was so hot. So hot, and aching, and squirming under him, and he was getting harder by the second. So he couldn’t really be blamed, when he reached down and unbuttoned his jeans...pulled himself out, as his mouth trailed along the band of her jeans, so he could thrust against the sheets.

 

He unbuttoned them… unzipped them, and shimmied the cloth down her legs. God, and every inch made his mouth water. She smelled so... he licked the damp spot on her panties, over and over, groaning quietly. There was that taste again, that gorgeous, gorgeous taste.

 

He hooked his thumbs underneath the tiny strings at her hips, and pulled down.

 

The sound of the zipper had Shayla twisting under him and trying to slide down further.  But then, his mouth... oh, God.  "Pete... your mouth... hot mouth."  Her leg slid up and down his side as her hand rested on his head.  "Want... want you so much, so heavy, so good."  She lifted up as she felt him tugging at the strings and her panties slid easily down her hips and over her thighs, and she whimpered as she felt her body sliding on it's own wetness as it oozed between her shaved lips.  "Pete, Pete, please, Pete, please, please, need you, so much... wanna touch, wanna hold."

 

She was so soft. Christ... he couldn’t think of anything else, as he slowly, carefully, dragged the damp, delicious little panties down her legs. As her little mound peaked through he darted his tongue... licking the beginning of the slit atop...slipping his tongue in and gently sucking. Her skin was like satin, silk, and he couldn’t stop running his fingers over those tender little thighs as he teased.

 

He slipped his fingers around to the back of her hips...gently molding the lobes of her ass with his palms, and stroked them very tenderly. A few fingertips traced the outline of her ass...and when the first jolt of her taste slipped like water into his mouth, he bucked his hips...and moaned. Her little leg was rubbing against him...her fingers on the back of his head, tugging the short, tight curls.

 

Christ.

 

He sucked softly at the hood of her mound... laving it with his tongue and sucking softly like he might her nipples. How... how little simple white panties could hold something so beautiful shocked him, and he couldn’t stop running his hands over her thighs, where her panties were half drawn down.

 

Whimpering.  It was the only sound she was capable of making as she felt his mouth touching her.  His hands on her thighs burned as he stroked gently, she wanted so much, but all she could do was whimper in hungry need. 

 

"Off, off, want it all off," she pled, squirming to get her jeans and her panties all the way down her legs, rubbing them together and bunching the rolls of fabric down towards her ankles.  Her nails scraped gently over the back of his head, drawing him closer to her.  "Pete... please... want you."  Her legs kept rubbing together, and her calf brushed against his cock as she tried to squirm free of her clothing.

 

He groaned against her... slowly trailing his lips down her thigh as he calmed her legs. His mouth trailed all the way down along a slender leg to her knee...kissing as he went, and he softly untangled the material, dropping it to the floor. And he looked up...and let his eyes drink in his fill of her. She was so beautiful… he'd never have guessed that *this* was hiding under all those piercings and all those clothes. He gently slid his fingers down her calves... to her feet, before back up as he took his place between her thighs again. He spread her legs a little bit... and gently licked the soft, wet wrinkles within, dipping his tongue in and searching for her clit.

 

Shayla stilled as he quieted her, whimpering softly as he peeled the clothes off and dropped them away.  She was naked, in front of a guy, for the first time, and she hoped that he liked what he saw.  "P--Pete?" she stammered out softly, seeing him staring at her.

 

Her question was answered as he touched her, kissed his way back up her legs and she spread them for him as he moved, letting one leg wrap around his hip.  "You... I... oh!!"  Her body jolted on the bed as his tongue entered her, and flicked over her clit.  "Oh!!!"

 

The blankets, pink and girly, felt so good against his hard erection. He tried to still his hips, but the steady, slow rasp of his skin against them filled his ears, until the roaring blood replaced it. Her thighs were tight around his ears, hot and tight, and he slipped his fingers over them as he explored. Her clit was small but beautiful, and he gazed at it in the shadows of her legs for a moment before gently scraping his teeth along the outside of it. Just a little...he'd read somewhere it could hurt, and he cupped her ass in his fingers as he lifted...and delved his tongue deep.

 

Past the soft lips...then the protective inner ones, and he let his tongue slip through the folds and into her. Long...far as he could, moaning at the taste as he flickered his tongue over the top. His fingers squeezed and massaged her backside...thumb grazing over the small hole over and over as his tongue worked. Long and deep, and he shut his eyes as he felt her moisture dampen his face.

 

And would have gladly died, with pleasure.

 

She squealed.  Loudly.  And muffled it in her pillow as his tongue slid into her, and then--his thumb.  Rubbing... there. 

 

Oh, God.  Another squeal, and she could feel more and more slickness flowing out of her, making her lips and upper thighs slippery as his tongue thrust into her.  "Oh--oh, Pete... that--your hand, there... oh, God, can you... please?"  She squirmed yet again, unable to remain still, pushing herself against the gently rubbing thumb.  "I--want, need, inside, Please." 

 

More squirming as her legs tightened around his head, fingers splayed on the back of his head.

 

He couldn’t speak... his mouth was occupied, and pleasure was taking him in sweeps. He stilled his hips, though, stilled them and kept his dick from rubbing against her blankets. This was for her... he didn’t deserve to come with such a gorgeous woman.

 

He slid his finger into her hot, warm sheet, moistening it with his mouth at the base at her warm heat at the top. Then slid it back underneath, mouth taking its place back inside...and his finger gently, softly, pressed inside.

 

The part that surprised him most was how easy a slide it was for his finger inside of her.

 

She's done this before, Pete.

 

He moaned, again, mouth going back to her clit and clamping around it gently...sucking hard as his finger thrust into her.

 

She cried out softly, relaxed and trusting body opening easily to Pete as he slid his finger into her.  Quiet, wordless moan slid out of her throat as she tensed her body around him, making a tight passage for his finger to thrust into.  "Not--oh, God, trust you, Pete," she breathed softly, and then cried out again, bucking her hips towards his face as he sucked on her clit.  "Pete, please... I need you, hurts inside, aches so bad for you, please, Pete, please!" 

 

Her rocking body slid her ass down more on Pete's finger as it stroked, swallowing the slender digit entirely. 

 

He looked down… watching as her little body accepted and pulled his finger in...and he moaned. Christ. Oh....his mouth went back down, free fingers stroking and pinching her clit.. as his tongue squirmed back inside of her. A little tighter now, with his finger in back... and he stroked, softly, tenderly, in tandem. His finger thrust in, so did his tongue. His finger pulled out...so did his tongue. And his fingers at her clit countered that, rubbing when he pulled out and moaning on the way in.

 

He had to... yees. He rolled his hips into her blankets just a little, just some pressure for his aching body. Oh...God, yes, please, more.

 

Animalistic urges surged through his blood, urging him to press to her warmth...and he told his body that that’s what the blankets were. The head of his cock rubbed against the wrinkles in the sheets, and every time they caught him, he moaned.

 

She bit down into the pillow as she cried out again, and then pushed herself up on her elbows, scrabbling for a grip on his shoulders.  His moans were slicing through here and setting a fire in her belly like she'd never felt before.  "Pete... Pete... please... I want you inside me, I need that, please... God, hearing you... it's driving me nuts, please."

 

He shook his head...gazing up at her as his fingers pressed and pushed inside of her. His mouth was wet… his body ached, and he shook his head again. "N... no... Shayla, sweetie, no." Instead he glanced around...looked f--there.

 

He slipped his fingers out of her and rolled off the bed, hurrying to her desk where the dildo still sat in its box. He tore at the tape...unknowing how lewd he looked, cock pressing against his jeans and belly, hanging out of his zipper and darker then normal with blood. He ripped...free. The vibrator was long, thick but not enough to hurt her. "Shayla...condoms? Lube?"

 

"Please, please, Pete, please."  She looked at her bag.  "in there, in my purse, condoms.  Lube's in the bathroom, sitting... sitting on the counter.  White bottle."

 

He went around...leaned down and...his cock rubbed against the floor. He tensed... choked back a moan, and unzipped her purse, reaching inside. Didn’t have to look long… there were a half a million, and he tore out one with extra lube. She was new... he didn’t want to hurt her. He went around the bed, bare feet silent, and saw the tube immediately. One he used for his own vibrator.

 

He walked back to her bed, silent and soft, and slowly crawled back between her thighs. He sat on his legs a minute...rolling the condom expertly over the slim, long shaft...and lubed and greased it up as well as he could.

 

Once he was certain, absolutely sure that it was slick enough, Pete went back to her little opening, and slipped in his thumb. Christ… she was so tight. "Gonna...gonna make you feel good… kay?"

 

Shayla nodded at Pete.  "O--okay, I trust you, just... tell me what to do."  She made room for him between her legs, body trembling and arched slightly, displaying herself to him and looking up.  His thumb slipped back into her and she bit down on the squeal.  "Pete... make me feel good, sweetie, please."

 

God. Oh, God. He was trembling, so hard, with his need, but… no. No. NO. And he prayed his body would listen to him, before he went insane. "I... I won’t hurt you, sweetie, no… won’t..." He whispered, shaking his head a little. His thumb slipped out...and he replaced it with his first two fingers, bundled tightly together, and pushed in.

 

God, she was so tight. Oh, God. "Sw...sweetie...it's kay...don’t tense up on me... relax.... shhh... breathe... not gonna hurt you, going to make you feel so good, promise."

 

"I know you won't, Pete, trust you, know you'd never hurt me."  She relaxed as he slid his thumb out, and then when two fingers slid inside her, she tensed against it at first, and then opened her eyes to stare up at her lover--yeah, he was her lover now, and that thought relaxed her.  "Take... take you up on that promise," she said, laughing breathlessly, throaty sounds that made her shiver.  "Trust you, Pete."

 

"Good. Good." He moaned. Three fingers...and he slid up her body, laying next to her again and claiming her mouth for his. Swift, stabbing thrusts of his tongue into the tight heat as his fingers were in there own paradise, sliding up inside her as deeply as he could, then out once again. In… out... in... he spread his fingers as much as he could inside her, fingertips gently brushing at her hair as he moved. "So beautiful...so beautiful...so responsive, so gorgeous...ready? Feel ready?"

 

"Oh, God, Yes.... been ready, Pete... always ready for you."  His mouth was a hot, sweet, heavenly sin and she sucked his tongue into her mouth, lapping at his lips and kissing him back as hard as she could.  "I feel so ready... trust you.  Need you."

 

He was going to lose his mind. Lose it. He almost sobbed with want...and instead grit his teeth and pressed his face into her neck, rasping, "Sh... Shay… I want… I...don’t want to hurt you... I... want you… pl... please.... I don’t...I don’t want to take away y-your virginity, pl… please touch me, pl..." He'd tried to stop himself. So much. But he wanted… he... he couldn’t take it, and his cock was throbbing, screaming for a touch, and no matter how many times he'd squeezed his balls, he couldn’t stop it.

 

"I want you to take it," Shayla said quietly, raising up and whispering into his ear.  "I want you to take it because I don't think I'm ever going to trust or care about anyone the way I care for you."  She licked his ear once, and then slid her hand down to touch his cock. 

 

Hot, hard, and dripping, she slid her fingertips over the length.  "So big, so huge... you're so big!"  She wrapped her fingers around the bulk of it and stroked.

 

Christ.

 

...Christ.

 

Christ.

 

He let out a hollow, sharp cry, gasping hard as her fingers slid over him. They were scalding as they went over his dick and he moaned, his entire body shuddering as she touched. He slid his palms around her...grasping, and grunted, trying so hard not to come. Not yet. God, please. "Sh...Sh-Shayla, like y-you too, I like you...s-sure?" His head fell against her shoulder, forehead pressed tight to her neck, and sucked hard at the skin, squirming under her touch.

 

She stroked again, trembling as his body trembled against hers, squeezing the shaft lightly.  "Yeah, yes, I'm sure, please... I'm sure, I like you so much, I'm--oh!--Sure!"

 

"Shay...S...Shayla..." He was trembling, hard, and he grabbed the second condom he'd snagged, ripping it open as he shook. Her fingers were... they were too light… not right. He gently slid his palm down, wrapping his hand around hers and moving a little harder… faster, tighter. One... two strokes, before he pulled his fingers away and gently rolled the condom on over himself.

 

And he did something unexpected.

 

He rolled.

 

He rolled over onto his back… pulling her a little with him, and helping her sit over him, on his belly. "Sh… Shay. First time, and I don’t.." He coughed, cleared his throat. "I don’t want to hurt you. Slide onto me...slow as you want, any angle that doesn’t hurt. And...and I'll roll us back over and… and make you f-feel good. Kay? O-oh! Wait..." He squirmed around her, trying to get his jeans down.

 

She trembled as his hand tightened around hers and showed her how to jack him off.  "I'm--oh, God, you're so hot, Pete, so hard."  She watched him roll over, and her eyes widened as he pulled her with him.  "Oh.  Oh my.  Oh."  She put her hands on his bare chest, leaning over to lick his nipples.  "Let me."

 

She slid down his legs, pulling the jeans and underwear with her.  Her hands ran over his thighs, jacking him slightly again through the condom, and then rolling them down and tossing it away.  She crawled back up on Pete's lap, and put her hands on his hips.  "Pete..."

 

He was trembling but he smiled a little, nodded, and took her hands… laying his head back and breathing slowly. She...she'd just crawled back up his body, like a cat, and he was going to lose it.

 

He really didn’t want to. He didn’t. So he covered her hands softly, smiled, and nodded. "Read, baby. Read about it. W... won’t hurt you this way… you control it. I'll stay still… you're st-stretched, but its gonna hurt a little." His heart was pounding so loud he could barely hear himself over it. "If... if it hurts to much, stop. I can’t..." He reached up and took her face, kissing her hard and powerfully and strong. Full of the passion he felt... the heat. "Thank you."

 

As he kissed her, Shayla situated herself over his cock and one hand slid down to hold his cock steady as she slid down over it.  Her slick lips parted easily for him as she used her weight to push herself down.  "You're welcome," she panted breathlessly, tightening and loosening her muscles around his cock as she slid down.  "Oh, God... so big inside me... feels so full, not even all the way in."

 

"Shh... shh..." His throat was so tight he could barely speak, and he looked up… watching her. Watching as she slowly, softly began to sink over him, his fingers tight on her hips, so she wouldn’t go to fast... so he wouldn’t hurt her when he got to the little barrier. "Shh... wait... go up a little... then back down... slow, Shay...don’t want you hurt… go slow." And his concern for her kept his need at bay, and he smiled at her encouragingly, even as his cock slowly, so slowly, began to slip inside her.

 

She was so tight. Like a fist… trapping him inside. And he moaned.

 

She did what he told her, sliding up and then back down just a little, and each slide down sucked him a little further into her body until--

 

Pain, and then a bright flare of hurt as something tore inside her and she cried out.  She froze on Pete's cock until the pain faded, and she leaned forward, kissing Pete and tasting salt and realizing that tears had spilled out.  "No, no, no, I'm fine, don't stop, please, don't stop, I'm fine, just hurt a little," she murmured to Pete, and she realized that after the barrier had broken, she'd slid almost all the way down.  "Full, full, so full."

 

"Shay, Shay, Shay, Shay," He gasped, grabbing her hips hard and stilling her as she sobbed. Something... he felt the resistance, then pushed through it when she urged her body down and he grabbed her, hard, stilling her from sliding more as he reached up and kissed her. "Shh… shhh... baby... shhh...don’t, we'll stop, Shayla, don’t hurt, please, please don’t hurt," He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as she moved and he shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t stop, and he shook as she slid further down onto him, even as he tried to keep her up. "Slow, slow baby, slow, don’t go fast, you'll hurt again, shhh.."

 

"Don't wanna stop, don't want to, don't want to!"  She pushed down on him.  "You feel so good, feel so hot and hard, god, so good, don't ever wanna lose this feeling."  She felt herself throbbing around his latex-covered cock as she pushed up and then down on him as she wrapped her arms around him.  "Hold me, Pete, please, God... deep inside me, can feel you there."

 

"Shhh...shhh, baby, I got you..." He wrapped his arms tight around her and rolled once more, splaying her underneath him...and shifting a little, between her legs, holding her tightly to him as his cock pressed all the way in, and he choked on the groan, softly rubbing his fingers through her hair. "Shhh...shhh… got you... gonna make you feel good... tell me when you're ready, only when you're ready sweetheart.."

 

Shayla's arms wound around Pete and held him tightly, pulling herself up to press their bodies together.  "Ready... I'm ready, I want you, need you, care so much, want you."  One leg tentatively hooked around his hips to pull him down.  "Make me feel good, Pete, make me feel good."

 

And it was the last thing he said for a long time.

 

His arms wrapped tight around her...holding her close to him. A palm slid shyly down to her hip… shifting her closer to him without bringing too much attention to it, and he pulled out... before giving this beautiful virgin the gift of the first thrust inside.

 

He stilled as soon as he had, blood boiling and mind screaming, and held himself until he was sure she was okay.

 

Her eyes were wide as he moved inside her, and she rubbed herself against his stomach.  "Oh... yes.  Please... do that again."  She rubbed her hand over his back and shoulder, lifting up to meet the thrust inside.  "Oh... please.  Do that again."

 

He smiled... softly, and pressed his face into her shoulder, rising slowly out of her, before gently moving back in. Again... again... slowly, but surely, building up a tender rhythm for her first time. Slow and as gently as he could but he lanced deep, his pleasure slippery and hot. He moaned softly after the fourth thrust… the fifth... and decided he didn’t have to keep track anymore. Seeing them, anyone would have thought they looked lewd...his dark skin, his round, hard ass above her, rising and falling as he moved gently into her. And her legs, wrapped around him...his hip, keeping herself close. The blankets rustled...his blood thudded loudly in his ears.

 

He could hear nothing. See nothing. Everything was silent...but for her quiet gasps, and the rustling of their bodies against the blankets. He could hear the snow falling...the soft creaks of the old mansion, and her breaths in his ear.

 

He surged, slow, easy, keeping her small, frail body close to his. Showed her, with his hand, how to rub against him so she'd get the most pleasure… lifting her hip on every thrust so he lanced deep and tickled the tender tissue at the lining of the inside of her vagina. Warm and sweet, and he was smiling at her as he moved.

 

Each of his thrusts into her, Shayla rose to meet them.  She slipped her fingers into his, squeezing them, moving with him as she brought him down for long, wet kisses. 

 

Nothing like she'd expected sex to be, this was slow, painless, beautiful.  Their bodies slid together easily, touching everywhere, her mouth tasting his skin and lips and tongue gently, free hand gently tweaking his nipples. 

 

Slow, easy movements, and she smiled up radiantly at him, returning the smile and falling more in love with him than she'd ever thought she could, and she surged up as soon as that thought hit her brain.  She didn't say anything, just kissed him harder, her body wrapping around his and taking him into her.  "Pete, you are so wonderful to me, thank you." 

 

Then...

 

First rub of her clit against his cock and she sank little teeth into his shoulder and thrust up.  Hard. 

 

He kissed her back, lazily at first. His tongue swept in... discovered...learned... knew. He slicked over her teeth... over that vivacious, powerful little tongue... over her mouth. He tasted everything there was to know about her, slowly and softly.

 

Then she had to thrust up and he gasped...then moaned, heavily, and slid more of his weight onto her. No words, no words, and he instead wrapped his fingers tight around hers on the pillow, clasped them warmly, and slowly...effortlessly....he began to go faster. Even, strong strokes of his hips, the muscles in his legs and ass bunching, his leg twining around the one she didn’t have at his hip. His free palm moved across her chest...pinched and rubbed a nipple as he descended and attached his mouth to the side of her neck and began to nibble.

 

The faster pace brought a pleasured squeal out of her as his mouth nibbled her neck.  Brief hope that he'd leave a mark on her skated through her thoughts and she giggled as she pressed up into him.  Faster and harder, she met each of his thrusts with a thrust of her own, and she kissed his ear.  "Pete... better'n I thought... never wanna stop it... wanna do this forever."  Her hands slid down to squeeze his ass gently, pulling her further into him.  "Like doing this with you, please."

 

He smiled into her ear, slowing down his strokes just a little. Not yet, not yet, not yet. He moved, effortlessly, pushing and pulling out of her, her little valley so tucked and snuggled into his hard angles. Their hips skidded and moved together... flat bellies pressed close. His chest to her breasts...their shoulders aligned, and he leaned down and softly... tenderly... pressed a kiss to her lips.... then took it, faster, harder, thrusting his tongue in with all the passion he had... and sped his hips up again. Fast, quick strokes into her, never slamming into her, never, but it was faster… quick thrusts that began to make his blood sing. His hips pumped faster, groaning now in quiet pleasure, and his fingertips laced through her own on her pillow, burying his face close.

 

Her mouth opened wide under his, sucking the kisses he offered her, opening herself to him as she'd never done to anyone else before.  The faster he moved, the more she whimpered into his mouth, squeezing him tightly with everything she could and rocking up to meet him.

 

His weight on her felt so good as it pressed her down onto the bed, and she rocked up against him.  As his face pressed close to hers, she nibbled his jaw, licking down the line of his throat.

 

"Sh...Shay..." He grunted very softly, voice gruff and hard... dark and rumbling as he spoke. "Shay… gonna… c'mon.." He whispered, fiercely, pushing faster into her, harder, as orgasm began to dance in front of his eyes.

 

He would be god damned if he came first.

 

He pushed faster, harder, muscles tense and rigid as he let her ride his thrusts. His cock was screaming, aching to explode, but he held on… held on. Not yet, not yet. He pushed, faster, whispering sweet nothings in her ear as his fingers stroked her hair... then moved under her and pushed her chest up to meet his mouth.

 

He wrapped his lips around her nipple and sucked, very tenderly, flicking his tongue across the tip. "C'mon...c'mon… h-hard baby...for m-me… c'mon.."

 

Didn't take much more than that.  She shivered as his tongue licked over her nipple, cried out softly, sucking hard at his fingers as she turned her head to catch them in her mouth.

 

A trembling thrust up against Pete, feeling him thrust deeply into her, and she came, shaking and whimpering, soft pants puffing against his ear as her sheath clamped down tightly on him.  "P--Pete, oh shit, P-Pete, fuck, good, oh, shit, Pete!!"

 

Oh, God.

 

He got stuck inside... unable to move with the fear of hurting her, and then...her little walls vibrated around him like a sucking throat and he let out a cry of shocked pleasure… gasping... and thrusting in as far as he could, further then he had been, and he came. He pulsed in the condom, coming so hard he saw stars, shaking and gasping as lightening went off behind his eyes.

 

He trembled, hard, trying so hard not to....he roared, into her shoulder, climaxing a moment after he shot and he let out a cry of pure, indescribable pleasure, burying his face closer and holding her tight as he came.

 

Shayla pulled him down on top of her, feeling the shout into her shoulder vibrating through her entire body.  She trembled, riding out the pulses of his cock with her hips, and stroking his back and shoulders, holding him close.  She was a little sore, but felt entirely too good to complain, and she wove her legs around his waist to keep him from moving.  Instead of speaking, she rained small, wet nibbling kisses on his lips.

 

And they were wide lips, so she was plenty occupied. He leaned down...slowly gasping and lay his cheek against her shoulder, eyes fluttering closed as he groaned in complete.... utter... pleasure. He hadn’t felt this good in a long, long time, and the pain of the day still hadn’t fell on him, yet. He was numb. And he felt... entirely... too... good.

 

She smiled, couldn't help laughing in thrilled delight as he dropped down against her.  She kept peppering kisses all over his mouth, nipping his bottom lip, tugging it playfully between her teeth as she cuddled him close.  "Mmmm," she murmured softly.  "Feels good... never felt this good before."

 

Oh, man. He just smiled, brilliantly at her, eyes shining as he held her close. His larger male fingers swept softly through her hair...across her cheekbones, and down her jaw. Her shoulders...her breasts...and he sighed softly in pleasure, as one palm slid down to caress where they were still joined. "Mmmmmm." He answered back, softly, pressing the kisses into her nips. "Mmmmm."

 

Another girlish giggle, and she snuggled in underneath him, twitching her hips slightly under him and tightening her sheath around him as he touched their intertwined bodies.  "Like when you touch me like that.  Makes me feel... treasured."

 

He swallowed the moan...looking up at her and grinning again...and touched her chin. "Shayla?"

 

"Yeah?"  She turned her face into his hand, facing him.  "Yeah, Pete?"

 

He watched her for a long moment… then shook his head, curling in closer to her and holding her head tenderly against his. "Thank you. Thank you, so much. You… you're so beautiful. You were so, so amazing. I’ve never felt this… this good.  You... you just... you gave me... I feel so honored." And his voice was, deeply so. "I'll never hurt you, I swear to you. Never."

 

She blushed hotly, and just pressed herself as close to him as she could get.  "Neither have I, Pete... you always make me feel so... good.  I feel beautiful, I feel sexy and desirable, I feel special."  She kissed him gently.  "You're welcome, but... I should be thanking you for sharing this with me.... cause there's nobody else I would have wanted.  Not even Angel."  The hot blush deepened.  "I know you won't, Pete.  You'll never hurt me, and I'll never hurt you.  I wouldn't ever hurt you."  She put his hand on her chest, over her heart though she didn't realize it.  "I trust you, and I've never really trusted anyone else."

 

"I promise... if... if something… if..." He swallowed, hard. "If...if you get...pr… I'll take care of you, I promise you." He nodded, swallowing again as his fingers clasped hers, tightly. "I...I grabbed the spermicidal condoms... a-and... there are these pills y… you have to go get...though I think Chloe's got some, so I can bum a few off her. They’re morning after pills... just... just in case." He nodded, looking into her eyes as he gently tugged her closer, his fingertips and palm massaging where her heart beat. "Never hurt you, never. You can trust me, Shayla."

 

Shayla couldn't help giggling up at him as she kissed him.  "Hang on, Pete... somethin' you need to see."  She rolled over just enough to open her night table drawer, and pulled out a small tan compact.  "Been on 'em since I was fifteen," she said, handing it to her lover.  "Doctor put me on 'em cause I was having such a bad time with my period."  She cupped his face in her hands.  "You can stop worrying... I know you'd take care of me, no matter what happens, and I don't need you to prove it."  She kissed him again, met his eyes, and touched the hand over her heart.  "And Pete... you can trust me.  Trust me not to hurt you."

 

He swallowed again...smiled, a little shyly, and nodded, kissing her cheek very gently and holding her close under the blankets. He pulled the pink, frilly things up over their cooling bodies, staying inside of her as he gently shifted and pressed closer into her. "You felt... Shayla... so good. Haven’t...with a girl for a long time. It felt so good...very, very good. You knew, you knew exactly what you were doing, sweetie. Felt so good."

 

"Oh... wow."  She blushed happily.  "Really? I--I made you feel good?"  Pete shifting against her felt right and she moved and flowed around with him as he pulled the blankets over their bodies.  "I'm so glad.  I didn't know--I'd just, you know... the videos, my mom's romance novels... stuff like that."

 

He couldn’t help grinning. "You, you know, yeah. Really... really good." He refused to bring Dick to this bed, now that he was awake enough, okay enough, to think about it. So he just... didn’t. "You did… yeah. Wow. W... was I... what you thought sex was about?"

 

"No, you weren't."  She hugged him.  "I thought it was... you know, all hard and fast and hot sweat, and no kissing, but this... this was totally not what I expected, and... just, wow."

 

"Not my best, I'll admit." But he had puffed up in pride without even realizing it. "Sometimes...sometimes its hard and fast and sweaty. Sometimes its not. Sometimes its a little of both...sometimes you can make love for hours, in the right position." He smiled, very softly, as he rubbed a strand of her hair between his fingers.

 

"Oh... oh wow."  She batted her eyes up at him.  "So can we find that position later tonight?"  The feeing of his fingers in her hair was just... calming, and she wasn't freaking out because of it.  She didn't even want to.  "I--I wouldn't mind the hard and fast, if it were still you."

 

Oh, man. He choked... gazed at her, eyes wide, and whispered, "Shay… we... we're friends. I don’t...I don’t want to make it like..." Like me and Dick.

 

"It won't be."  She stroked his face gently.  "Cause we don't have to, if you don't want to."  She nuzzled.  "If this is what we're going to be, then I can live with this, cause, Pete?  You listening?  I really, really like you.  I like hanging out with you, and I like being with you.  But most of all?  I like you happy.  And okay... yeah, I'd like for us to keep doing this as well as being friends, but if you don't wanna, then that's okay.  Because I've always got this to remember, how good you make me feel."

 

"I do." He whispered...trembled at her words, and looked into her eyes as he pressed a little closer. "I like this. I like being your friend. I like knowing… you... you stuck by me. You’ve been by me. You don’t care that…that...that I’m bi. You're just there, and you’re here in my arms because you want to be. I can't...no one has ever done that, Shay. I want to be your friend, above all else. If this...if its...it gets hard...then no. But I want to be your friend."

 

"You are my friend."  She held him, tightly, not dropping their eye contact.  "And you know?  You're right.  I'm here because I want to be... because there's nowhere else I can think of--well, except maybe in a hot tub in your arms, but the principle remains--that I'd really rather be right now than here with you."  She squeezed his arms.  "I don't care what you are--gay, straight with one exception, bisexual, omnisexual, autosexual, whatever.  You're Pete.  My Pete, my buddy, and that's all I care about."  She snuggled him.  "Well, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do a lot of things for you nobody ever has before, so just... get used to it."

 

Yeah. Alright.

 

He laughed out loud at her little speech, gathered her in his arms, and rolled over so she was laying atop him. Twice more and he almost fell off the bed, hugging her tightly and burying his face in all her blond hair...and he felt lighter then he had in days. "You are such a bitch. Christ, you're wonderful." And he smacked a kiss on her cheek to prove it, grinning broadly.

 

"Yeah, but you better say bitch with a smile," she said, popping him lightly on the shoulder and then snuggling onto his chest.

 

And oh.  Okay.  She wasn't going to move.  Like, ever.

 

He grinned and kissed her cheek... then got up, pulled her right along with him, like she weighed nothing... right into his arms, and walked to her little bathroom. "Shay?"

 

Shayla wrapped her arms around him as they moved together... and she kind of liked the fact that he could move her around like that.  "Yeah, Pete?"

 

"I’m sorry you've got a wet spot on your bed now." He was smiling as he set her down in her bathtub and flipped the hot water on... then slowly peeled the condom off, tying it off at the end, and tossing it into her little basket next to the toilet.

 

She shrugged.  "So I'll change the sheets and give Enrique something to do with his spare time."

 

He reached over her head, flipped the shower on, and curled under the hot spray with her. "Mmmm." And he gently pressed his mouth into her shoulder.

 

I think I like you.

 

 

-fin-

 

go to the next part