The Memoirs

Dark. Night. Heavy pain that startled him awake... brought a keening groan from his throat. Shudder... Lionel... where was Lionel? Lionel... Li... he couldn't call anyone, couldn't even speak, his throat dry and his arm on fire, moaning softly and shuddering with it.

 

Lionel was standing by the window, and when he heard the groan, he turned immediately towards the bed.  "Dominic?"

 

He moaned again, shifting, heart beat erratic with the lightening pain and he winced, struggling to burrow deeper in the blankets to sleep again but, oh, God.

 

Lionel put his hand on Dominic's shoulder and shook.  "Dominic?  What's wrong?  Speak to me."  The fact that Dominic didn't seem to be moving was not a good sign, and Lionel felt fear growing inside him again.

 

"H-hurts... L...h....hurts..." He managed to whisper it, eyes opening to darkness. No...wait. There. Lionel was there, and he struggled to move, to get the pain away, like he was backing away from an open flame.

 

“I'm here, Dominic... What hurts?"  He touched his lover's skin, not sure what he expected to feel.  "The doctors left medication for you."

 

He'd been half asleep...but now as he woke up more he could reign in his whimpering, holding back on shuddering, but he did wince. Lots. In fact, he did with each steady beat of his heart, feeling it in his arm. "Stings b-bad, lovely, hurts."

 

Lionel leaned over, kissing his lover softly.  "Can you swallow?"

 

A nod, slow nod, and he struggled to get up...actually succeeding, rolling his shoulders forward as his back creaked. Pain and tension and the dull throbbing ACHE and he needed to bathe. And pee. "Lionel...help me to the bathroom… please?"

 

"Of course."  Lionel made a quick judgment, scooping Dominic into his arms and carrying him into the bathroom.  The trip was quick, luckily enough, because Dominic wasn't a slight man, but Lionel managed, and sat his lover carefully on the toilet seat.  Stripping his coat off, Lionel draped it over one of the hooks in the door as he rolled his sleeves up, then knelt in front of Dominic.  "I love you, Dominic."

 

He was blind with pain and fatigue but smiled at Lionel anyway, offering a hand as he struggled to stay upright, head swimming. "Love you, Lionel. So much." He swallowed hard and tugged his hand, pulling him close so he could rest against him and not collapse, taking the opportunity to mumble, "Have to pee." And it embarrassed him. Badly. He never thought he'd need help for the most basic of functions, but here he was.

 

Lionel pulled Dominic to his feet, standing behind him and using his own body to prop his lover up as his hands gently opened the pajama bottoms and pulling him out so he could urinate.  "I'll help you clean up after this; and there's clean pajamas in the bedroom," Lionel said softly in Dominic's ear.  "Thank you, Jiminy."

 

He leaned his head back against his lover, breathing slowly and softly to regulate the pain, relieving himself with a pale face as he pressed close to Lionel's body. "Wh... what? What about? I… its I who sh… should be thanking you."

 

Lionel shook his head.  "No... thank you.  For coming back.  For going through this pain.  All because you care... for me."  He pressed his cheek against Dominic's, holding him and steadying him as he tucked him away, and then sat him on the toilet seat again before turning the water on in the sink to run warm.  "You could have left me, and suffered no more pain, but for my sake, you came back."

 

"Mmmm." He settled back against the toilet, watching him with transfixed eyes, watching Lionel move with that smooth, fluid grace. "Eh. Woulda been boring." He smiled a little, rubbing his uninjured hand through his hair. "It was peaceful. Really nice. I didn't float, but... it was nice. Just...yeah. But you taught me something in all the years I've worked for you. Usually... the nicest things aren't always the nicest. Sometimes it takes pain and love and sacrifice and true emotion, y-you know?"  He was making very little sense. And he knew it, too.

 

Carefully and tenderly, Lionel undressed his lover, leaving bandages in place as he removed socks and pajama bottoms, throwing the dirty clothes into the nearby hamper, and then shutting off the water as the sink grew full.  Lionel remained crouched in front of Dominic, looking up at his lover with an expression of love and tenderness.  "I love you, Dominic.  If I hurt you, I don't mean to."  Lionel went to the linen closet and brought out a soft washcloth and a bar of plain Ivory soap, left by the doctors and nurses.  "I'm sorry it's not fancier, but they said it has the least chance of irritating your wounds."  Peeling the wrapper from the soap, Lionel soaked the cloth in the sink full of warm water, and then thoroughly lathered the rag.  "Are you ready?"

 

Ready? No. Wanting? Yes. He felt sticky and bloody, the tangy scent of old medication all over him and he wanted it off. He supposed it was his upbringing, but being filthy made him ill. He watched Lionel move around the small bathroom, raised his hips when necessary to remove clothing. He didn't have to fight to keep in the whimpers... they simply didn't want to come out, and he breathed the smell of the soap in softly. "We... when... when we were younger, my mother used to buy that same soap. She was a single mom... just her and the 6 of us. She did the best she could by us." He murmured it quietly, so glad to be able to just sit and rest for another moment while he lathered the hand towel. "I'm ready....Lionel, I love you, I love you so much. You...” You helped me pee, you're going to give me a bath, you look at me and you're not disgusted by what you see. "You're beautiful to me."

 

Lionel started at Dominic's throat, sliding the warm lather over his lover's throat and moving over his chest, carefully avoiding the bandages.  "There's nothing here to be disgusted about, Dominic."  Lionel's hand kept the cloth pressed firmly to Dominic's skin, and he took the opportunity to learn each dip, turn and crevice as he worked.  Periodically he rinsed the cloth, re-lathering it thickly, and then paused halfway down his sternum.  Dried blood.  He swallowed hard, and scrubbed as gently as he could.  The blood flaked onto the cloth, and Lionel quickly rinsed the cloth clean before the entire thing reddened.  "I think... that you are the most beautiful person in the world, Dominic."

 

He murmured something but his eyes were shut, concentrating on the fact that it was okay, that Lionel wasn't grossed out by how he looked right now. "Mmm... sweet to me... not grossed out?" He cracked open his eyes before he fell back to sleep, looking at the top of his head as he worked. "Li… Lionel...my shoulder...are..." He knew Lionel's issues with blood, and he didn't want him to be sick over cleaning his wound. Instead he let the pent up air out, relaxing as the warm water flowed over his skin. Cleaning him, scrubbing away the disgusting mildew-y scent of the hospital, the smell of gauze and antibiotic and sterility. "Feels...feels so good." A murmur to let him know he was enjoying it, eyes closing again.

 

"I know, Dominic, and it will be fine.  I just don't like the idea of having my hands on your life's blood.  You need it."  He quickly dropped the dirty cloth and pulled another from the rack, lathering it in clean water as he drained the dirty out.  "I want to do this, make no mistake."  He slid the cloth down Dominic's uninjured arm, kissing each finger and the palm before sliding back over to his stomach, and then lower down.  There were faint traces of blood and iodine that had trickled down, and Lionel cleaned that carefully, then gently washed his soft cock and then down his thighs to the mark.  His thumb brushed lightly over the stitched skin, and he kissed it lightly before moving down and washing his legs, then his feet.

 

His sigh was throaty but quiet as the warm cloth ran over his dirty, chilled skin. It felt like heaven’s wings batting over him, soft and warm and impossibly good. The touch over his thigh brought his gaze down to the stitches...temporary ones, if he remembered, the kind that fell out after a few days. It was going to be a beauty. An inch long and just about that big around, curved and gorgeous. He couldn't help it...he chuckled, and skimmed his fingertips over it as Lionel's careful hands washed his feet. "Feels so good...I was sticky." He murmured, letting his head fall forward enough to press a kiss into all that glorious hair.

 

Lionel left the cloth draped over Dominic's knee as he wrapped his arms around his lover's waist, holding tightly for long, silent moments.  He said nothing, merely letting Dominic's gentle kiss soothe him and put to rest the worry that yet rolled in his stomach.  His arms tightened, and then released his lover, bringing a third clean cloth over to rinse with, wiping the soap suds off and placing feathery kisses on the now-clean skin. 

 

He moaned, from his lover, and the pure, wonderful feeling of being clean. He smiled and held him as well, cuddling close and pressing his cheek to Lionel's as if to say thank you. Slim fingers ran through long hair, then down a strong back to caress the tense shoulders that rolled under his hand. He watched with fascination as he rubbed the soap clean, and the scent of it brought him back to his childhood. He breathed in softly, and images of all five of his brothers and sisters and he himself in the tiny bathtub, splashing and squealing and laughing, made him smile from ear to ear.

 

"I've got to shower myself in a moment," Lionel said softly.  "But not until we get you dressed and back in bed.  Do you want me to wash your hair?"

 

A shake of his head, turning his face to press his mouth to Lionel's jaw with the warm, light touch he always gave the perfect line of bone and sinew, murmuring absently into it. "'m okay. Just wanted the blood off."

 

Lionel kissed him back softly, nibbling the line of his lover's shoulder as his fingers stroked over his throat.  "When the nurse comes to change the dressings, I'll learn how," he murmured into Dominic's throat.  "Do you want pajama bottoms or simply boxer shorts?"

 

He pulled back to look at him a little, his dark blue eyes watching his lover’s and it was almost a slight note of surprise in his face by the sudden realization he was having. Lionel was taking care of him. Not just...not just with money or sex or love... he was really taking care of him, in a way he never thought he'd let anyone do, and certainly never thought Lionel of all people would do for him. But, he supposed, life threw you chances and changes, it marred your life or shined it, gave and took in equal quantities. Life had taken away his dignity for a bit, his pride, but it had given him back the immense satisfaction and joy of someone who was really there, unlike anyone before. It took him a minute to realize Lionel had spoken, threading his fingers in the glorious mane and swallowing. "Pajamas, if there is any. It gets cold."

 

"There's anything you like," he murmured back softly.  "You'll have to wear mine for a bit until I send someone to Metropolis for the rest of your things."  He sighed softly as Dominic's fingers wound in his hair, and was struck with the absurd thought that this was the reason he kept it long, merely to feel Dominic's hands in it.  "But I think you can handle mine, provided you don't have a problem with Chinese silk."

 

He couldn't help chuckling, watching Lionel with adoration and respect and something else, something deeper, his eyes dancing. "I'm sure I'll live." He smiled again, tugging at the loose strands of hair around his ears, rubbing the ends between his fingertips. "Spoiled. I bet you actually got the Chinese silk from china, didn't you?"

 

"Of course I did," Lionel said, still crouching.  "There is a clothier in Beijing who procures the authentic silk for me and tailors the clothing for me to my exact measurements, which are updated for him every three months, at the beginning of each new clothing season."

 

His eyebrows shot up and he was smiling again, wrapping his arm around Lionel's neck tightly as he struggled to stand. Struggled, of course, being the operative word here. "Knew you were spoiled. Rotten." And a sudden very jealous thought, because tailors had to touch Lionel in places he didn't want other people to touch, and he grumped as he climbed slowly, very shakily to his feet. "You're such an elegant man, lovely one."

 

Lionel rose carefully with his lover, wrapping Dominic's arm around his shoulder and his own arms around Dominic's waist.  "I enjoy the finer things, Jiminy.  I will spoil you with them too, any chance that you will allow me."  He caught the flare of something in his lover's eyes as they both stood together.  "What is it, Dominic?  What made your eyes flame so?" 

 

He mumbled like a child, slowly starting to walk back to their bedroom with a slow, practiced gate. He thanked Jesus for no more IVs and needles, looking at the warm, auburn shaded bed with a hundred pillows and soft, silky sheets and delicious warmth.  That's all he wanted. Oh, and a glass of--"Water. Can we get some water, Lionel?"

 

"Let's get you in bed first.  Then I'll have a pitcher brought up while we get you dressed."  Lionel kissed Dominic's cheek softly.  "Do you prefer tap or imported?"

 

"Mmm. As long as its water, I don't care." He murmured it, glad he'd tucked the other question away and stepped lightly onto the warm carpet. He sighed in pleasure at the very nice clean and washed feeling he had now, moving step by step, foot by foot. "Though of course I'd enjoy a nice brandy with a slice of lemon and a steak, but I've heard those things aren't pretty coming back up." He chuckled it into Lionel's cheek, and impulsiveness was always his downfall. "I don't want other men touching you. That's why... before."

   

"I will water the brandy down for you, but that is all," Lionel said sternly.  "But I am a firm believer in the restorative power of it."  He held his lover even more firmly, pressing him close and taking most of Dominic's weight.  "The tailors?  I will stop it, if you'd like.  My measurements have not changed so much in the last five years."

   

"No... no, no." He shook his head. "Don't stop. It...just it makes me jealous to know some other man will touch your thighs and your waist and your feet that aren't me." Admitting these things always made his mouth taste sour and now wasn't an exception, looking up at Lionel through his lashes.

 

Lionel stopped them, sweeping Dominic up into his arms and kissing him deeply, walking the last few steps hurriedly as he put Dominic carefully on the bed and knelt on the bed beside him. "Then I'll have to teach you how to do it," Lionel whispered, wrapping his arm around Dominic.  "That way nobody's hand but yours will be on me."

 

He kissed back, hard and aching, offering both his arms to his lover, holding him close. He hoped he didn't mind but suddenly they were stretched out on the blankets, and Dominic couldn't get closer to him then he already was if he climbed out of his body and into Lionel's. He hugged him possessively, closely, mumbling into his cheek, "You know how Rico gets. Feisty little thing."

 

Lionel wrapped himself around his wounded lover as much as possible, his body resting half protectively on Dominic's as he held his weight off the wounds.  His mouth pressed tightly to Dominic's throat, sucking softly, murmuring against the stubbly skin.  "Rico... is very good at what he does.  He can... however... go to hell."  He inhaled the clean scent of his lover, rubbing his own bearded skin against Dominic's stubble.  "I'll still buy the clothing from him and he will still do the alterations, but from now on... the measurements are yours." 

 

His grin was priceless. Bright as the sun, wicked around the edges and he cuddled in closer to his boyfriend... his mate… his best friend and his lover. "Do you mean that?" He murmured, rubbing his face softly against Lionel's as his body settled into comfort.

 

"Yes... I mean that."  Lionel wrapped himself even tighter around Dominic.  "I mean that... and more."  He kissed Dominic softly.  "Let me... Let me get you your clothes; not that I dislike you naked, but... I think you'll be warmer."

 

He nodded...didn't need to be asked twice, because between the comfort of the sheets and his health not really being up to par he was falling asleep. "Okay....don't be gone long?"

 

"Only as long as it takes me to walk there and back," Lionel promised.  "And the water will be here soon, I'll see to it when you're dressed."  He leaned over and pressed a kiss on his lover's sleepy lips.

 

"Alright." Soft murmur and he snuggled in, watching him… devilishly sexy man walk and move, and he was barefoot. Barefoot. It drove him quietly wild, and he swore to himself when he had the chance, he would ravage those feet to his heart’s content.

 

Lionel padded quickly down the hall, down four doors to the room where their things had been dumped, and he went through his own suitcase, quickly coming up with a pair of black silk pajama bottoms and draped those over his arms, along with the matching top and a heavier silken kimono done in the same swath of black silk, a green and red dragon hand-embroidered on the lapel.  Throwing those three things over his shoulder, Lionel dug deeper into his suitcase and brought out a pair of black slacks and a black polo shirt, and draped those over his arm as well.  Clean clothes in hand, he hurried back to the room and sat beside Dominic on the mattress.  "I'm back, Jiminy."

 

"Lionel?" He murmured it, opening his eyes to look into his lover's eyes. "Thank you, for... for being here. It makes things so much...much better. But I just ask one more thing of you."

 

Lionel draped the clothing over the foot of the bed.  "You can ask me anything, Dominic."

 

"Please don’t ever leave me." He whispered it, touching his cheek. "I know I'm supposed to be strong and say you can leave whenever you want, but I'm a needy person… and I need you. I feel like I’ve found the something I looked for all of my life, and its amazing, wonderful. Lionel...its not just about kissing and hugging and loving. You make me laugh... you make me sad. You make me feel emotions I haven’t felt since I was a child... delight and joy. I don’t think I can live without you because I think without you I wouldn’t live." He'd finally found words for what he felt, and he murmured them softly, nodding. "I promise to be here for you...to give you advice. I promise to piss you off and empassion you, I promise to not always agree."

 

A genuine smile spread over Lionel's face slowly, and he lowered himself to lay beside Dominic.  "I give you my word, Dominic.  I will not leave you; I have said before and I say again, I cannot imagine my life without you.  I love you; I need you; I want you.  What you truly mean to me, I am without words to express, other than "everything."  You are everything to me, my love and my lover."  He brought Dominic's mouth to his, kissing him slowly, sweetly, deeply.  "I love you," Lionel whispered again, hard-won words that flowed easily to this man who loved him in return.  "I swear to you, Dominic Senatori... I will never leave you."

 

Alright. So he was beaming. So what? He smiled back and kissed back, nodding and sighing softly. "Good. Then you wont mind if I ask you to go away with me on vacation to Rome for a few weeks after this whole ordeal is done." He looked up and wriggled his expressive brows, eyes dancing as he pulled him closer.

 

"Rome?  I'd love to."  Anything.  Anywhere with Dominic was beautiful.  "I'd love to go to Rome with you, Dominic."  He rolled easily into his lover's arms.  "I'd be honored, in fact."  He rested his head on Dominic's shoulder.  "Let me call for your water and shower; then I will come back and sleep with you.  If you don't mind, that is."  His eyes twinkled up at Dominic.  "I promise not to steal the blankets."

 

"Hah!" His voice was amused. "You finally admit to being a blanket hog. Someone write it down, its a miracle." A priceless smile slid across his face, nodding at him softly as he curled under the blankets. "Water. Shower. Rome." A soft, pleasured sigh, and murmured almost to himself, "Its like a dream come true."

 

Lionel smiled again.  "No, love... the dream is you."  He brushed his mouth over Dominic's.  "You are the dream come true."  With that whispered declaration, Lionel rolled out of bed, and picked up the phone, instructing the person on the other end to send up a pitcher of ice water and two glasses.  "Let's get these on you, Dominic," he said, putting the phone down.  "Wouldn't do to have you showing off for the staff."

 

He giggled, and couldn't help it. "They might get the wrong idea." He squirmed up, sitting up as well as he could as he paused to look at the pants Lionel had brought, shaking his head with amusement on his face. "Though me and Ms Bird had a long conversation yesterday morning at some point while she was changing my sheets. Did you know she was a world war 2 nurse? She's older then dirt, but the woman is fantastic at what she does."

 

Lionel growled softly.  "I'd hate to have to blind someone because they saw something that they shouldn't."  He slid his hands possessively over his lover's uninjured skin.  "You belong to me, Dominic, and I will never let anyone else touch you."  He nuzzled his lover's feet gently as he raised one foot and then the other, sliding the black silk over Dominic's limbs.  He kissed the instep, massaging each before letting Dominic's feet fall to the mattress as he rolled the silk pants up his legs and over his thighs.

 

And without thinking he rubbed the mark on his thigh, caressing it as he would his cock, slow and soft and warm, rubbing his fingertips against it as the silk slid up his legs. Cool, comforting...Lionel's mouth, and he let out a soft, breathy sigh. "No one ever will." He murmured, eyes cracking open and a smile ghosting wickedly over his lips. "Except Ms Bird and her hot mama bod."

 

Lionel kissed Dominic's stomach, and then nipped it hard.  "Shall I do away with Ms. Bird?" he growled into Dominic's skin.  He lifted Dominic's hips, sliding the silk over them, and he shivered, blood hardening his cock as he watched Dominic stroke the mark. 

 

A low, rumbling chuckle that was half gasp and half giggle, feeling the silk slide over him and he lifted his fingers to stroke Lionel's sides, watching him look...watching him swell inside his long pants. Watched him tent those same pants, and a rush of satisfied pleasure filled him. He wasn't up to sex at any rate, but the pure giddiness of making his lover want was all together satisfying. God, he loved to tease. "You cant. Ms Bird is my only amusement... between her broken English and little giggles. She's adorable." He smiled, eyes dancing.

 

Lionel kissed Dominic's stomach again, tickling his navel with a wet thrust of his tongue before groaning and rolling away.  "The first time Ms. Bird gets any ideas about you, she is gone."  He picked up the black silk top and unbuttoned it, sitting up and sliding it over Dominic's injured arm carefully.  "And the kimono will be here for you when you get chilly."  Lionel rolled completely off the bed, standing as his arousal was evident.  "I won't get in the shower until the water gets here."

 

Dominic couldn't be happier.  He let his gaze flicker down his body before back up, meeting his eyes with dancing one of his own, twinkling with mischief and amusement as he crossed his free arm, resting it on his bare belly. "You like it when I touch myself there, don't you?"

 

Lionel nodded.  "Is it that obvious?" he asked dryly.  "But yes... I do.  I find it... unspeakably erotic."

 

Quiet, his gaze hot and scorching. "Would you like me to help, lover?"

 

Lionel moved so that Dominic's hand fell on the hard bulge of his arousal.  "You do help, every time you look at me like that," he said with a quiet shudder.  "I won't... I won't make love to you, you're not ready."

 

"No, I..." He rubbed softly, sighing softly at the feeling of hard muscle and tissue under his fingers, sending the hard spark of lust down his body. "Lionel...come up here. Straddle me where I can reach with my mouth." Quiet, intense. "I want to. Please."

 

Lionel shook his head.  "No.  I won't hurt you, Dominic."  A hard kiss.  "I want you to.  More than you can possibly imagine."  He took his lover's uninjured hand.  "But no.  I won't take the chance of hurting you, not even by accident."

 

A whimper as he watched Lionel's eyes, knowing in them was sincerity, and he gave his shoulder a look of pure murder.

 

Lionel squeezed Dominic's hand, and brought it to his erection.  "Touch me instead."

 

God, and he did. He traced the outline, pushing at Lionel's pants until he could slip inside and stroke. Long, hard heat, hard as rock that slid across his palm, and the heady, erotic scent of his lovers arousal hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh...yes."

 

Lionel hissed as he thrust shallowly into Dominic's hand.  "You're... so exquisite," Lionel whimpered as Dominic stroked him.  He closed his eyes, watching through bare slits as he drank in his lover's expressions and reactions.

 

"Lionel..." A quiet murmur, stroking softly as he slowly picked up the pace. "I want us to suck each other off at the same time...I want to fuck you against all that pretty white furniture in your mansion. I want to...to tie you down and lick you until you scream, until you sob with want. Lionel...I want you to put that dildo in my mouth and tie it around my head again. I want to see how it looks on you...I want to whisper in your ear how you like sucking your own cock."

 

Lionel shuddered, moaning softly as Dominic stroked him and murmured in his ear.  "Yesss..." he hissed softly.  "Did I tell you... how much I want you again?"  He pushed against Dominic's fist faster, nipples hard under his shirt as he rubbed them lightly through the fabric.  "I want... want to do all those things... just for you.  Want to be your slave, even just once, like you were mine."  He bit his lip hard, hands knotting in the sheets.

 

"I want you to pierce your nipple, just so I can tug the ring with my teeth..." His voice was liquid, hot as melted wax. "I want to tie you down and fuck you wild, make you want and scream and not let you come at all." He let go of Lionel's erection for a moment, licking his palm and sliding back over him. "I want to see you in makeup...I want to make you ache all day with anal beads all the way inside you...rubbing against you whenever you walk. I want to see you moan my name, Lionel.."

 

Lionel moaned again, louder, and he pressed tighter against Dominic.  "Dominic," he gritted out.  "You're so... I love you so."  He surrendered to Dominic's voice, hips thrusting in rhythm with his lover's strokes, his own voice pleading in soft cries.  "Anything, Dominic, anything you want... I'll do anything.  I give you my word."  He opened his eyes, looking at Dominic in the haze of lust as he shuddered before coming.  "I will do anything for you."

 

"I want you to move against me… whisper my name as we make the most gentle, soft love..." He rubbed his fingertips against the tip, tracing the slit with his pointer finger. "I want to see you cry with it, with feeling the perfect joy we can bring each other, Lionel." And now, as his lover’s mind was in another place, he whispered, "I want to raise a child with you, lovely one."

 

Lionel exploded, a cry of his lover's name wrenched from his throat.  Family... home... love... all with Dominic.  "Yes," Lionel whispered, aftershocks running through his body as he twisted around to curl beside his lover, still panting.  "Dominic... be mine?  Always?"

 

He nodded without a word, pulling him in to kiss him hard, long and soft, just tucking him in like it was nothing and holding him as he gasped and panted.

 

Lionel curled beside Dominic, head on the pillow beside his lover's as they kissed.  "It may sound overly dramatic of me," Lionel panted softly.  "And I don't have a ring.  But... I want you to be my partner, Dominic... my life's mate, the other half of me."

 

It didn't shock him, not at all actually. It was just putting words to what he already felt, and it solidified that yes, he was gay. All the women he'd ever been with (okay, the two women he'd been with) didn't hold a candle to what he felt now. Just by being with Lionel made him feel...special, handsome, needed and wanted. Loved. "You don't even have to ask, Lionel." He whispered, kissing his panting lips softly. "You've had me since the first day we saw one another. I've been yours for twelve years...I'll be yours for the next 50."

 

Lionel cradled Dominic against him.  "I love you, Dominic.  We will... we will have a family, if that is what you want; I'd like a daughter to spoil, but only if she's as beautiful as her father."  He slid his fingers through Dominic's, shower forgotten as he brought them together.

 

His fingers were caressing his throat, tenderly stroking across the silky, bearded length with a smile at his lips that could be called almost wistful. "I've wanted children all my life, Lionel. Any children well do...just a little being that I can raise...can love and devote my life to, to make feel special, just like my mother did to me." His injured hand linked tightly with Lionel's, caressing his thumb against the back of it. "I want you to see her get old...to walk her down the aisle. I want you to have a second chance. I want Lex to have the sibling he never got. I want it.  And Lionel...most important...I want it with you. I want this child with you."

 

"A second chance... at everything."  Lionel closed his eyes carefully.  "I want us to have that together, Dominic.  A family.  Together."  He brought Dominic's fingers to his lips, kissing each one tenderly.  "We can adopt a child, or we can have a surrogate mother."  He continued the kisses.  "But these decisions can wait until you're better.  And until we've found a way to legalize things."

 

"Oh, Lionel." He murmured it softly. "I'm yours in every possible way, if its legalized or not. Please...remember that." He suddenly sighed softly, his eyes glassy as sleep tugged at him. "You make me so happy. So happy. All the time."

"Want to know when I fell in love with you?"

 

Lionel rested his hand on Dominic's hip.  "I want to make you happy."  He sighed softly, nuzzling his shoulder gently, below the bandages.  "Yes... I do want to know."

 

"You'd been gone to Hong Kong for a week or so...I'd just been promoted as your assistant about two months before. You were hard, ruthless, and you terrified me in every way possible. I'd wake up in cold sweats in the middle of the night...I'd throw up at work. You made sure to terrify me in every way possible so that I was devoted to you." His grin was soft as he cupped Lionel's face, making sure he knew that it was okay, that no apology was needed. "You hardened me, and I needed it. I was a whiny pansy ass from Wales with my education and no life experience. You turned me into what I needed for our world." He waved a hand. "Anyway, that night I had to come find you... the Prime Minister had just signed a treaty that would destroy your business deal, and it was imperative that I found you. Your wife... she was very sick by then, and Lex was going through a rough time with it. And that's how I found you... in your study, your son's arms wrapped around you as you both slept in a deep chair. It was then... then, Lionel, that I knew it was more then respect and admiration I had for you. Right then."

 

Lionel swallowed hard.  He remembered that.  Vividly.  "If you had said then... I don't think that I would have believed you; I'd have thrown you out on your ass."  He held Dominic tightly.  "But... instead I grew to like and respect you, despite the fact that I never let you know.  By the time... by the time that I thought to, we had already established a routine that I didn't want to disturb.  But now... now I'm so very glad to know.  Very glad to be able to say that I love you."

 

He grinned. "You let me know, Lionel. In those subtle ways, I always knew what you thought of me...you never had me killed, right?" His grin widened as his eyes closed and he nuzzled his love’s throat softly. "I've still got my limbs all attached, I don't visit a psychiatrist on a normal basis. If you didn't like me, believe me, I would have known."

 

Lionel had to laugh at that.  "That's true.  You are probably the only person who has survived unscathed in my service."

 

He grinned up at him, the laugh like music in his ears. "Remember the first time you asked me to get you off?" His smile was this side of dorky. "It fueled every fantasy I had for the next six months."

 

"I remember.  I--wanted you.  I just didn't know how to ask."

 

He grinned and tugged at his beard with light fingers, settling in as his eyes began to tumble shut. "You just tugged yourself out and pointed... Christ, I came so hard just by putting my mouth on you."

 

Lionel started to gently rock his lover.  "I'd never come so hard before," he said quietly.  "Never as hard as I did the first time you sucked me off.  And each time was just as hard."

 

 

 

-fin-

 

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