The Memoirs

 

Thank you, to all of our fans, who have been with us through this all :) ::huge hugs::

 

 

You have just entered room "LuthorFamilyChat."

 

Salumkana : Hey! Am I finally here?

 

LovelyOne58 : There you are, Clark.

 

SweetJiminyC : You are, ducks. :-) I'm glad you got the problem solved.

 

AlexTheFab2003 : Finally, thank God.

 

AlexTheFab2003 : You can never leave me alone with these two, ever again.

 

Salumkana : Yeah, I did, stupid friggin computer. I hate this thing.

 

Salumkana : Hah. Bull. Hi Lionel!

 

AlexTheFab2003 : Do you want to switch to the laptop then?

 

LovelyOne58 : Good morning, Clark.

 

Salumkana : Nah, its all good, I'm fine.

 

LovelyOne58 : I told you I'd bring mine along.

 

Salumkana : Mornin' :-)

 

LovelyOne58 : It's... all good?

 

SweetJiminyC : How are you all this lovely morning? How's Smallville? Have you burned our buildings to the ground?

 

SweetJiminyC : It means everything's fine, beloved.

Salumkana : Yeah, what he said. :-)

LovelyOne58 : Ah. I suppose this is that slang I never understand. I fear it's why I don't understand Dogwood Ross half the time.

AlexTheFab2003 : Nice vote of confidence there, Dom.

AlexTheFab2003 : We haven't burned anything to the ground.

Salumkana : I'm doing good!! Schools almost out for spring break, and then another month and we've got vacation

Salumkana : Hee!
SweetJiminyC : Well? Have you?!

AlexTheFab2003 : No, we haven't.

LovelyOne58 : I wouldn't be concerned with fire, Dominic.

SweetJiminyC : Good. That's all I needed to know.

LovelyOne58 : Lex, are we going to come back and find any body fluids in offices they shouldn't be in?

SweetJiminyC : ....Theirs a really mean spirited joke I could make there.

SweetJiminyC : However...I wont.

AlexTheFab2003 : DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salumkana : *cough choke splutter*

SweetJiminyC : Heee!

LovelyOne58 : Please do, Dominic. Make your joke.

AlexTheFab2003 : I hate you all.

SweetJiminyC : No, I'm afraid Lex will hate us even MORE.

SweetJiminyC : If it helps at all, Lex, beloved, my ass is *sore*.

Salumkana : Oh, my God, LMAO

AlexTheFab2003 : DOMINIC!!!!!!!!!!

AlexTheFab2003 : I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS!!!

SweetJiminyC : It is! I can barely sit down.

AlexTheFab2003 : EVER!

LovelyOne58 : Dominic, you are being very mean to your son.

SweetJiminyC : Of course I am. It gets his blood flowing, better than running a mile.

Salumkana : I have to say, since you guys got married, Lex has definitely been healthier.

AlexTheFab2003 : So does fucking Clark, and I'd much rather do that.

Salumkana : His veins don't pulse as much.

AlexTheFab2003 : Bite me, Clark.

Salumkana : Now?

SweetJiminyC : Hee! Ew.

AlexTheFab2003 : If you want.

AlexTheFab2003 : Shut up, Dominic.

LovelyOne58 : Lex, be nice to your father.

AlexTheFab2003 : I am. I didn't tell him to fuck off.

LovelyOne58 : LEX!

SweetJiminyC : Lionel, you're getting a kick out of that, aren't you love?

SweetJiminyC : Fuck you, my darling Lex.

Salumkana : Nooo, he fucks ME.

AlexTheFab2003 : I think Clark might have something to say about that.

AlexTheFab2003 : See?

SweetJiminyC : Alright! Enough with all the fucking talk.

AlexTheFab2003 : You started it.

SweetJiminyC : I did not!

SweetJiminyC : ..Oh.

AlexTheFab2003 : Did too.

SweetJiminyC : Wait, yes I did.

AlexTheFab2003 : *victorious*

SweetJiminyC : Well, anyway, my ass is sore, but so is Lionel's.

AlexTheFab2003 : DOMINIC!

Salumkana : You know, Lionel, theirs actually an exercise you can do to bring down the soreness.

LovelyOne58 : Truly, Dominic, do I seem the kind of person who would take great joy out of my son's discomfiture?

AlexTheFab2003 : Yes, dad, you do.

Salumkana : I do it sometimes, cause even *I* get sore.

LovelyOne58 : Really, Clark?

LovelyOne58 : Do share.

AlexTheFab2003 : PLEASE DON'T!

Salumkana : Yep. Kegals. For men. It works really well, Chloe told me about it.

Salumkana : Cause Whitney was...well, that's another story.

SweetJiminyC : I've heard of doing that. It actually works?

Salumkana : Sure does.

AlexTheFab2003 : Are we going to discuss EVERYBODY'S sex life?

AlexTheFab2003 : Jesus Christ.

SweetJiminyC : I'm not discussing mine. I just said my ass was sore.

SweetJiminyC : And it is.

LovelyOne58 : With good reason, it should be.

AlexTheFab2003 : I'm not hearing this.

Salumkana : Dominic, I can see Lex from where I'm sitting, and he's turning purple.

SweetJiminyC : HAH!!!

SweetJiminyC : Even thousands of miles away I have the power.

SweetJiminyC : *dance*

AlexTheFab2003 : Brb

Salumkana : How's Ireland, guys?

Salumkana : Alright babe.

SweetJiminyC : I'm enjoying it, immensely. Its fabulous, and green, and just beautiful.

SweetJiminyC : If I could bring home my cottage and the land and sea fifteen miles all around, I'd bring it.

SweetJiminyC : And my Gran, to boot.

Salumkana : Oh, Crystabel. Lex has told me about her, and I talked to her a few times, she's just...so *sweet*.

SweetJiminyC : She really is, in every sort of capacity. I adore her endlessly, and I'm thrilled she's Lex's grandmother. Adopted grandmother, anyway.

Salumkana : When he gets back he's gonna kick my ass for this, but I think he's happy about it too.

Salumkana : Where'd he go, anyway? And Lionel? I bet they're in kahoots with one another.

AlexTheFab2003 : Yes, I am going to kick your ass for it.

SweetJiminyC : Planning our immanent demise?

SweetJiminyC : Hallo, and welcome back ducks. :-)

AlexTheFab2003 : And just for that, I'm not going to bring your Szechwan Chicken to you.

AlexTheFab2003 : You have to come and get it.

Salumkana : You liar.

Salumkana : You love me too much

Salumkana : Bring me my chicken!

AlexTheFab2003 : Notice, if you will, my ass? Still firmly planted in my chair

Salumkana : *glare*

SweetJiminyC : Lex? That's the glare of You Aren't Getting Some For A Week.

AlexTheFab2003 : *ignores*

SweetJiminyC : And I'll be back in just a moment loves.

AlexTheFab2003 : He'll give in just when I start flashing the goods.

LovelyOne58 : Lex?

LovelyOne58 : Son?

AlexTheFab2003 : Yeah, Dad?

LovelyOne58 : That's entirely too much more than I wanted to know about your sex life.

AlexTheFab2003 : Hey, you and Dominic are the ones who started this whole share and share alike thing.

LovelyOne58 : Which, at this moment, I am thoroughly regretting.

LovelyOne58 : I didn't need the visual of my son, buck-ass naked and trying to get Clark interested.

AlexTheFab2003 : *shrugs* Your loss.

AlexTheFab2003 : I can't wait to see Crystabel when I get there.

AlexTheFab2003 : She's been yelling at me in email for months now, and it's gotten worse since you've gotten there.

AlexTheFab2003 : Wanting to know why didn't I come along, and everything.

LovelyOne58 : When you leave? Make sure that you shut the facility down entirely, and make sure no one else has a key.

LovelyOne58 : I'm not entirely comfortable with leaving the new facility completely unwatched, but with the upcoming holiday, that shouldn't be too great of a problem.

AlexTheFab2003 : It won't be.

AlexTheFab2003 : I'll also check in with Bruce before we leave, make sure he knows that things are going to be shut down here.

AlexTheFab2003 : Also, I've hired a new assistant for myself, and he'll be keeping the keys while we're gone.

LovelyOne58 : And this new assistant is trustworthy?

AlexTheFab2003 : Mr. West comes highly recommended, don't worry. He's got glowing recs from Bruce himself, and I'm meeting with him tomorrow to lay out what I expect of him.

LovelyOne58 : Just remember, Lex, good assistants are not easy to find. Once you have one? Keep him close.

AlexTheFab2003 : I will.

AlexTheFab2003 : Just not as close as you keep Dominic.

LovelyOne58 : I'm not amused, Lex.

AlexTheFab2003 : Pity, since I am.

LovelyOne58 : To change the subject, I assume you got Chinese take-out for lunch?

LovelyOne58 : Lex, you really should eat something better for yourself.

AlexTheFab2003 : You, who have worse eating habits than I do, are telling *me* to eat?

AlexTheFab2003 : Seriously, Dad. Glass houses, throwing stones, sound familiar?

LovelyOne58 : Lex...

AlexTheFab2003 : Kettle? Hi, I'm Pot. You're black, did you know that?

LovelyOne58 : *sigh*

AlexTheFab2003 : I love you too, Dad. *smirk*

AlexTheFab2003 : Tell you what. Just for you, I'll make sure to eat the egg roll *and* the wonton.

LovelyOne58 : Thank you.

AlexTheFab2003 : Man, Clark must be hungry.

AlexTheFab2003 : Since I gave him the chicken, he hasn't said one word.

AlexTheFab2003 : To me *or* in here.

Salumkana : Don't worry, Lionel. Yes! I'm back. And done. I WAS hungry damnit.

Salumkana : I've been feeding him. He ate spaghetti last night. And a bagel for breakfast.

AlexTheFab2003 : Oh, speak of the green-eyed devil.

Salumkana : And Dominic IMed me, telling me to tell you that he'd be right back. He was in the middle of calling Gran.

AlexTheFab2003 : Oh, tell him to give her greetings from me.

LovelyOne58 : Clark, I'm glad that you're feeding him.

LovelyOne58 : It's not like he listens to anyone else.

AlexTheFab2003 : Pot? Kettle.

Salumkana : I am :-) And I know, which is why I do it.

AlexTheFab2003 : Guys, I am not starving.

AlexTheFab2003 : I eat when I'm hungry.

Salumkana : Lex, you're so skinny that a good wind could blow you to Canada.

Salumkana : And you know how I am with those damn Canadians.

Salumkana : They better get their French/English paws off.

AlexTheFab2003 : Have them hanging off your back as you do the charming Pink Shayla?

Salumkana : Shayla thinks I'm a totem pole or something. Not like she weighs more than 80 pounds, but still.

AlexTheFab2003 : I think she has a crush on you.

LovelyOne58 : That won't please Dominic.

AlexTheFab2003 : come on, Dad. As far as I know, she's still with Mr. Ross's younger brother.

AlexTheFab2003 : I mean, you'd kind of have to be dead not to see the hotness that is Clark.

LovelyOne58 : You know, I'm not even going to respond to that.

Salumkana : Oh my God. Lex. Shut up.

Salumkana : Lionel, please don't.

Salumkana : My boyfriend knows not of what he speaks.

AlexTheFab2003 : What, that you're hot?

Salumkana : And yeah, Shay's with Pete.

Salumkana : Shay and Pete, the ShayPeteness of them.

Salumkana : I feel bad for him. I do. Not pity...I just feel *bad*. After everything with Dick.

AlexTheFab2003 : That still doesn't mean she can't have a crush on you.

Salumkana : He walks around like a ghost.

SweetJiminyC : I have returned, dears.

LovelyOne58 : What did happen with Mr. Grayson and Mr. Ross, now that you've mentioned it?

Salumkana : I dunno if you want to know.

LovelyOne58 : Welcome back, cricket

AlexTheFab2003 : I'd go so far as to say I KNOW you don't want to know.

LovelyOne58 : I'll yield to both your better judgment

SweetJiminyC : Thanks quite a bit. Grans got us for tea and dinner, love.

Salumkana : Suffice to say, its pretty bad.

LovelyOne58 : I'll be quite glad to see the young lady again.

Salumkana : What young lady?

AlexTheFab2003 : Crystabel.

LovelyOne58 : Yes, Crystabel.

LovelyOne58 : Though she's threatened to scalp me if I call her anything other than... Granny.

LovelyOne58 : Which, I simply cannot do.

SweetJiminyC : Young?

SweetJiminyC : My Gran?

SweetJiminyC : Well...yes, I suppose that's an accurate statement

LovelyOne58 : Do you consider me old, little cricket?

SweetJiminyC : Nope.

SweetJiminyC : She's Gran!

LovelyOne58 : Then why should someone twenty years my senior not be considered young also?

SweetJiminyC : Don't worry. I didn't even know her name was Crystabel until I was 17.

AlexTheFab2003 : Really? She's not at all shy about giving it out.

SweetJiminyC : True. She's got a lot of vitality.

Salumkana : That's cause you're her grandbaby and she luffs you.

SweetJiminyC : Quite true. She was ecstatic about having another grandbaby.

AlexTheFab2003 : Clark?

SweetJiminyC : She counts you as number 44.

AlexTheFab2003 : Remind me to kick you later.

Salumkana : O:-)

Salumkana : Oh wait...

Salumkana : How do you do that damn smiley?

Salumkana : O:-)

AlexTheFab2003 : The angel?

Salumkana : There we go!

SweetJiminyC : I've a problem with them too, love.

AlexTheFab2003 : Clark, you couldn't look angelic if you were wearing wings and a halo.

SweetJiminyC : AOL, and AIM by default, are evil sons of bitches.

Salumkana : Yes I would. Have you not seen me?

LovelyOne58 : Yes, they are.

LovelyOne58 : Which reminds me, Lex.

Salumkana : I could pull off a choir boy in a new york minute.

LovelyOne58 : Has Mr. Case called me back yet?

AlexTheFab2003 : No, he hasn't.

SweetJiminyC : Who?

AlexTheFab2003 : And no, Clark, you couldn't.

SweetJiminyC : Oh. Sorry, I'm prying.

AlexTheFab2003 : Not when I know what's under it.

LovelyOne58 : No you're not.

LovelyOne58 : Steven Case is the CEO of America Online

Salumkana : Hehehheheh. You're bad, Lex.

LovelyOne58 : I have several calls into him about procuring AOL.

SweetJiminyC : Is he?

AlexTheFab2003 : But I'm oh so good at it.

LovelyOne58 : Yes, he is.

SweetJiminyC : Ahhh. Now that would be quite an investment.

SweetJiminyC : Lex?

LovelyOne58 : And I'd like to compete with AOL, not destroy it, but if I have to buy the company out and replace the 

current servers with LuthorCorp upgrades, then I will.

SweetJiminyC : Karate chop the innuendos.

AlexTheFab2003 : *innocent*

SweetJiminyC : That would be quite an interesting venture.

AlexTheFab2003 : You wound me, Dominic.

Salumkana : To say the least. Geez, Lionel.

SweetJiminyC : Do I? Really?

LovelyOne58 : yes, it would be, and that's why we're waiting for the call back.

AlexTheFab2003 : *snort* Of course not.

SweetJiminyC : Me, 5 nothing, barely over a hundred and thirty pounds?

SweetJiminyC : See? I figured. :-)

LovelyOne58 : Doesn't stop you from doing other things quite well.

Salumkana : Think he'll give up AOL without a fight?

LovelyOne58 : Don't complain about your size.
SweetJiminyC : HAH! I don't.

LovelyOne58 : And Clark, it's not so much a fight as, will he give it up when he sees the competition, or will he work with me.

SweetJiminyC : I've nothing to complain about.

Salumkana : You're evil, Lionel. I dig that.

LovelyOne58 : Because I am actually quite willing to work with AOL, replace their servers, and market the new wireless unit as a partnership.

Salumkana : They don't just need new servers.

Salumkana : They need new customer service reps.

Salumkana : Everytime I've called AOL to complain, they've bitched at me.

LovelyOne58 : However, if he keeps screwing around, if you'll pardon the roughness of the phrase, I'll over market the new unit, drop AOL into the basement, buy it lock stock and server, and refit it.

AlexTheFab2003 : They have?

AlexTheFab2003 : Clark, you should have told me.

Salumkana : Oooh, Lionel. I'm sure people would appreciate that.

Salumkana : And yeah, they have. Some bitch got stupid with me, because someone hacked into my home server and was screwing around.

LovelyOne58 : I'm sure they will to.

Salumkana : I had to have it out with her.

Salumkana : That was about...a year ago.

Salumkana : And Lex, you're not my ATM and Law firm, baby. I didn't want to go to you and complain.

AlexTheFab2003 : You still should have told me. I'd have had it take care of that moment

SweetJiminyC : They've done something similar to me, as well. They're not at all supportive.
SweetJiminyC : And if I have to hear about the "new" 8.0 one more time I'll scream.

AlexTheFab2003 : It's 9.0 now

SweetJiminyC : Fabulous.

AlexTheFab2003 : Everyone's upgraded to 8.-

AlexTheFab2003 : So now it's 9.0 in beta testing

Salumkana : Not me. I stuck with 7.0.

Salumkana : Though I might do it soon.

LovelyOne58 : Remind me, Dominic, to add the customer service issue to the list of things I'm discussing with Mr. Case.

Salumkana : I'm still hungry.

AlexTheFab2003 : You should; 8.0 is what I am using, and it's quite nice.

SweetJiminyC : Indeed. Customer service, and their shoddy dial up service. Christ.

AlexTheFab2003 : Even though it is occasionally a pain in the ass

SweetJiminyC : Oh! I know what I meant to ask.

SweetJiminyC : How is my darling Fredrick?

Salumkana : The eviliest cat from the lowest reaches from hell.

AlexTheFab2003 : Sweet as sugar and sleeping with the puppies.

AlexTheFab2003 : He is not!

Salumkana : That's cause he LIKES you.

AlexTheFab2003 : Yes, he does.

SweetJiminyC : Hah! That's my baby. Don't fret Clark, he doesn't like me either.

AlexTheFab2003 : I wouldn't like you either if you dropped me headfirst into the pool.

LovelyOne58 : Lex, don't forget to pack the tranquilizing kit from the vet, please.

AlexTheFab2003 : I won't. Are we bringing Freddie?

LovelyOne58 : No, no Frederick. Just the kit, please.

SweetJiminyC : I didn't DROP him. He sort of...jumped. And I lost hold of him.

AlexTheFab2003 : I was there.

SweetJiminyC : Though he's an evil creature, I adore him, and I'm glad he and the puppies are getting along.

AlexTheFab2003 : You dropped him.

SweetJiminyC : OOO!

SweetJiminyC : Clark!

SweetJiminyC : http://www.cfq.com/pages/august_articles/buf fy-epitaphs.html

AlexTheFab2003 : Dad, Dominic, before *I* forget... you have a very unhappy Ellie on your hands.

Salumkana : AHH! Yes! I already read that!

Salumkana : I love the stuff they said on Giles.

AlexTheFab2003 : I haven't.
SweetJiminyC : Ellie? Is she alright?

AlexTheFab2003 : Oh, she's all right.

AlexTheFab2003 : She's just quite upset that Uncle Ommie and Uncle Mufasa aren't going to be home.

LovelyOne58 : The poor dear.

SweetJiminyC : I miss my darling little Ellie. But we're bringing her home something she's going to enjoy.

LovelyOne58 : She did want me to help set a trap for the Easter Bunny.

LovelyOne58 : Lex, you will show Ms. Bird where her basket is, won't you?

AlexTheFab2003 : Of course, Dad.

SweetJiminyC : Lionel, you're horrible.

SweetJiminyC : Mushy peep.

LovelyOne58 : I am not

SweetJiminyC : How's Ms. Bird? Tell her I miss her, a great deal.

AlexTheFab2003 : She's become the Kitchen Nazi.

Salumkana : She misses you too. Yesterday? Totally going off, cause someone had eaten her pumpkin cake, and she was saving it for when you got home.

Salumkana : She put a piece in the freezer.

AlexTheFab2003 : Yes, well, after the chocolate mousse incident, I think she had a right.

AlexTheFab2003 : What with the *cough* mess we made of her apron.

SweetJiminyC : Have any of you read that article about Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?

SweetJiminyC : I'm not listening to innuendo.

AlexTheFab2003 : Not only have I read it, I have watched it.

SweetJiminyC : I think that the writer had a valid point. Its like a mockery to the gay man

AlexTheFab2003 : Which, by the way, Dominic? Did you get that email I sent you from the Charity Board?

SweetJiminyC : Because I'm not a flouncy ponce.

SweetJiminyC : I didn't, darling.

AlexTheFab2003 : I defy you to tell me that Rico wouldn't be right at home side by side with Kieran and the Fab 5.

SweetJiminyC : Very true.

AlexTheFab2003 : Well, check your email, and then don't let Dad see it until you've read it.

SweetJiminyC : But I don't know if I'm okay with this show.

LovelyOne58 : Lex? What are you talking about?

AlexTheFab2003 : You don't want to know, Dad.

LovelyOne58 : There's a lot of things I don't want to know lately, isn't there?

SweetJiminyC : Oh....my god.

AlexTheFab2003 : Not now, Dad, please.

SweetJiminyC : Oh. MY. GOD.

AlexTheFab2003 : Did you get it, Dom?

SweetJiminyC : yes.

SweetJiminyC : ...

AlexTheFab2003 : You got me.

SweetJiminyC : I....

SweetJiminyC : I'm speechless.

SweetJiminyC : He doesn't dress badly.

AlexTheFab2003 : I turned them down on both mine and Dad's behalf, but you had to see it.

LovelyOne58 : No, I don't dress badly.

LovelyOne58 : But I am feeling left out of this conversation.

AlexTheFab2003 : Should we tell him?

AlexTheFab2003 : Or, rather, should *you* tell him?

SweetJiminyC : This is just making me more and more unhappy.

SweetJiminyC : Lionel, they want you to be on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

LovelyOne58 : I'm sorry?

LovelyOne58 : First off, it's a well known fact I don't fit the main criterion.

LovelyOne58 : Mainly, I am not straight.

SweetJiminyC : True.

AlexTheFab2003 : Don't get bent, guys. It's for a charity thing.

SweetJiminyC : And I think the show is a mockery to all that I, as a gay man, stand for.

AlexTheFab2003 : And, I told them no. Both for you and me.

SweetJiminyC : And it shows gay men in a disgustingly stereotypical light.

SweetJiminyC : Because gay men, right now, are not accepted. At all.

SweetJiminyC : And I wont have you on a show where they're going to make a mockery of who you are.

LovelyOne58 : Stereotypical, yes, offensive, no, I find it more amusing. I find it amusing that the world, in general, thinks 

that these five men are representative of the gay population, when the three--four of us, you too, Clark--stand as very

Salumkana : Amen, Dominic. Sorry...I've just been listening.

LovelyOne58 : public contrast to that.

LovelyOne58 : I think in this case, it's not the show I find amusing, but the general intelligence of those beneath me.

Salumkana : Yeah, but at the same time, Dominic's got a point. I mean, me, being a recent addition to the gay population, I can see what he's talking about. I mean, people are okay with watching shows like that, and having their friends be gay

Salumkana : or whatever, but like...the whole marriage thing.

Salumkana : People draw a line.

Salumkana : And it just makes a joke of who we are.

Salumkana : Because like...we're treated like things, not people.

SweetJiminyC : With a label, which just says "gay".

Salumkana : Exactly.

AlexTheFab2003 : I've never seen it that way, Clark. I think I'm too much my father's son on that, to be offended by it. I'm more amused by people's stupidity to be offended or upset about it.

Salumkana : I think its all whack, personally. I don't get why being gay is such a weird thing to be.

Salumkana : I dunno. I've been treated differently since I came out.

Salumkana : And I don't get why. I'm still Clark Kent, I'm still the same guy everyone's known since I was like, 3. So I just don't understand why people look at me differently now.

AlexTheFab2003 : I also realize that it's because I am likely above the rest of the population in not giving a fuck what anyone thinks of me, and also in having enough money, power, and influence to if not overcome, then at least shut people up.

SweetJiminyC : It is, Lex.

SweetJiminyC : And I'm on the cusp. I'm either or.

SweetJiminyC : And I see it from both angles.

SweetJiminyC : For the common man to be gay is like something out of a horror flick for some people.

LovelyOne58 : I think, Lex, that for once, I've done you a disservice to raise you the way I did.

SweetJiminyC : Its all about being able to tolerate people different than you, and you want to know something? Its a problem that only the United States has.

LovelyOne58 : I don't think that either of us is able to see, or think, like a normal person.

SweetJiminyC : I've been walking around Ireland with my husband on my arm and haven't heard a word, or 

gotten an odd look, from anyone.

LovelyOne58 : Except from that wrinkled bitch of a great aunt

Salumkana : Its not that you or Lex are abnormal, Lionel...its just kinda like, you're in a position of power.

AlexTheFab2003 : Dad!!

Salumkana : I heard about her. Crystabel was pissed.

LovelyOne58 : Yes, she was, and so was I.

SweetJiminyC : She is wrinkled, isn't she? She's got jowls like a hound dog.

Salumkana : Dominic!!!!

LovelyOne58 : And Clark... it's not just that we're in a position of power. We are in a position that literally puts us above most of the population, including most celebrities and politicians.

SweetJiminyC : What? May god strike me down if its a lie.

Salumkana : I think so too, Lionel.

Salumkana : People don't dare give you looks.

Salumkana : But people give me looks all the time.

LovelyOne58 : We are in the utmost echelon of the societal layers in this country, and while it does give us insulation from a lot, it blinds us to more

Salumkana : Like I've moved into a position beneath the rest of the heterosexuals.

Salumkana : Why should I be different, just because I take it up the ass?

LovelyOne58 : That was part of the reasoning behind sending Lex to Smallville, though I don't believe it worked exactly as I intended.

SweetJiminyC : Here here.

SweetJiminyC : Hah. No, Lionel.

SweetJiminyC : Not quite.

AlexTheFab2003 : And this is where I feel the most helpless, Clark.

Salumkana : You sending him here was what changed my life, Lionel, and I'll always thank you for it.

AlexTheFab2003 : Because while I know it's happening, I can't do anything to stop it.

AlexTheFab2003 : Because I can't change the world all at once.

AlexTheFab2003 : Dad? how would you feel about having a President for a son in about ten years?

Salumkana : But that's okay. I mean, I deal just fine. My problem is the intolerance other people have for being different.

Salumkana : We're such a huge minority group, but we don't have *any* of the same rights as many others do.

LovelyOne58 : I'd be proud of you, son, if you could make it.
SweetJiminyC : Me too.

AlexTheFab2003 : When. Not if.

Salumkana : I'm just cranky. Ignore me.

Salumkana : I think I need a cookie.

Salumkana : .....s.

SweetJiminyC : Mmm. That sounds good.

SweetJiminyC : My gran made Lionel and me some pastries that would make normal people die.

SweetJiminyC : But Lex, as for presidency...it would be an awesome achievement I'd like for you to have.

AlexTheFab2003 : You're not cranky, Clark.

AlexTheFab2003 : And it's one I intend to have.

AlexTheFab2003 : Clark and I talked about it, a little bit, months ago.

AlexTheFab2003 : I didn't think it had taken serious root until recently.

Salumkana : Yes, we sure did.

Salumkana : I think..our futures, the four of us together, are going to be very different than what we ever imagined.

AlexTheFab2003 : I think you're right about that.

SweetJiminyC : I think so, as well.

LovelyOne58 : I agree.
SweetJiminyC : The both of you are going to be amazing.

LovelyOne58 : Together especially.

SweetJiminyC : Clark, with the powers you have, and Lex, with your mind. The both of you will make 

advancements and achievements in this world that wont soon be forgotten.

LovelyOne58 : You both have so much potential.

SweetJiminyC : Indeed, you do.

SweetJiminyC : Lionel and I both see it in you.

Salumkana : Shh. I'm blushing.

SweetJiminyC : Well? its the truth.

AlexTheFab2003 : About that potential, Dominic... you might want to know that it's going to be shut down for quite a while.

AlexTheFab2003 : And yes it is the truth, Clark.

SweetJiminyC : Yes, I....I figured that.

AlexTheFab2003 : Unavoidable.

LovelyOne58 : And here we go with the coded conversations again.

SweetJiminyC : Don't be confused, ducks. I'll explain it to you later, when you wont get angry and smush the computer.

LovelyOne58 : It's going to be that bad?

AlexTheFab2003 : No, Dad, just that surprising

SweetJiminyC : Indeed.

SweetJiminyC : If I hadn't been in the middle of the new Potter book at the time, I would have fallen on my ass.

Salumkana : Yeah, I kinda agree.

Salumkana : Hey, when are you guys coming home, by the way?

LovelyOne58 : We're going to be coming home with you and Lex, on Monday

Salumkana : Oh, good. I kinda...miss you guys. A lot. The house is empty and weird without you.

SweetJiminyC : See? Someone misses us, over the age of five, Lionel. :-)

LovelyOne58 : That's quite good to know.

LovelyOne58 : But Clark, you have to know that if you need us, we're only a phone call away.

LovelyOne58 : Our cell phones are global satellite phones, and you can contact us whenever you need to.

Salumkana : I know, but still. A phone isn't the same as you guys.

LovelyOne58 : Are things all right with you?

Salumkana : Sort of.

LovelyOne58 : Sort of?

Salumkana : Yeah. My mom..she's having twins. My dads all excited.

SweetJiminyC : He would be, that disgusting shit licking cow fucking bastard. Who knew after Bessy he could ever have kids?

Salumkana : *choke*

SweetJiminyC : O:-)

LovelyOne58 : Dominic.

LovelyOne58 : This is not the time.

Salumkana : Its okay. :-) It was actually a good way to lighten my mood.

Salumkana : Eh. I just...well, Lex and I...we kinda fell apart a little. I mean...not bad, but...we're just kinda *sad*.

LovelyOne58 : I take it that news did not sit well with either of you.

LovelyOne58 : I thought not

LovelyOne58 : Do you need for us to cut short the trip?

Salumkana : No, it didn't. It really sucked, actually. So we were down with ourselves, and arguing...and Lex...well, okay, Lionel? Lex? He's got these...powers. Mind powers. Mind reading, levitation.

Salumkana : And he....when we argued, he kinda lost his it. And everything he was feeling poured into everyone he loves.

LovelyOne58 : Of course he does.

Salumkana : You guys, Chloe and Whitney, k:Aa0id m

Salumkana : Huh?!

Salumkana : You know?

SweetJiminyC : Huh?!

SweetJiminyC : You KNOW?

LovelyOne58 : He would hardly be my son if he didn't. You all know that Lex is special, and yet, when he proves it, you're shocked beyond belief.

SweetJiminyC : Do you have any such thing, Lionel?

Salumkana : In behalf of my pride, my mind is connected to his and not even *I* knew. Though you ARE his dad, so, points.

LovelyOne58 : No, I don't.

Salumkana : Are you sure?

LovelyOne58 : I have lived fifty-nine years in this body, Clark. I believe I am acquainted with it.

LovelyOne58 : I am also not surprised Lex has it.

Salumkana : Yeah, he does. But now he refuses to acknowledge them, cause he hurt you guys.

Salumkana : Chloe was mid way through having a serious miscarriage, and Lex saved her, only...he thinks he caused it.

Salumkana : So, guilt, that I cant convince him out of.

AlexTheFab2003 has left the room.

AlexTheFab2003 has entered the room.

AlexTheFab2003 : I'm sorry. Someone else IM'd me and I left the chat by mistake.

SweetJiminyC : Its alright love, welcome back.

AlexTheFab2003 : Thank you.

Salumkana : WB babe. Its okay, we were just talking about you.

AlexTheFab2003 : I know you were.

LovelyOne58 : Lex... you shouldn't let yourself go to waste like that.

SweetJiminyC : I agree, totally. Its a stunning gift, and if I had something like that, you wouldn't see me throwing it out for anything. If Clarks sure you did nothing wrong, trust that, love. Clark is usually correct.

AlexTheFab2003 : The only thing with that? Clark isn't the one inside my head. He is, but that's not what I mean. I didn't know I'd affected everyone until he told me, and I can't live like that. I can't live with him being my constant lookout

AlexTheFab2003 : because I can't control this thing.

Salumkana : Yes, you can. I learned how to control my powers, and you can control yours. It just takes *practice*.

SweetJiminyC : Indeed. None of us learned how to walk after the first try.

SweetJiminyC : Just get on with things, learn, and move on. Or so I should think.

LovelyOne58 : Lex did, actually.
SweetJiminyC : Lionel?

SweetJiminyC : I love you, but you're not helping.

SweetJiminyC : Eat a scone, baby.

LovelyOne58 : As you wish.

Salumkana : Mmm. Scones.

Salumkana : Lex, come back.

SweetJiminyC : They're toffee flavored.

AlexTheFab2003 : I haven't gone anywhere.

Salumkana : I love you, Lex. I wont talk about it anymore, cause I know it upsets you.

AlexTheFab2003 : I love you, Clark. And it's all right to talk about it; just don't expect me to change my mind about it.

SweetJiminyC : I'm going to change the conversation a bit, as I see you're both uncomfortable.

SweetJiminyC : Pat Robertson.

SweetJiminyC : The devil.

AlexTheFab2003 : Yes, he is.

SweetJiminyC : "[Homosexuals] want to come into churches and disrupt church services and throw blood all around and try to give people AIDS and spit in the face of ministers."

SweetJiminyC : ...

AlexTheFab2003 : Of course that's why they go. It couldn't possibly be to foster their beliefs.

AlexTheFab2003 : They're heathen, don't you know.

SweetJiminyC : I gathered. With all the blood throwing. Where do they get the blood from, anyhow?

SweetJiminyC : Oh, I know.

SweetJiminyC : They're junkies, as well.

SweetJiminyC : And alcoholics.

SweetJiminyC : And rapists.

AlexTheFab2003 : Of course, because that's the only reason homosexuals go into a public restroom.

AlexTheFab2003 : Couldn't possibly be to use the facilities.

AlexTheFab2003 : No, they go in there simply to stand by and rape unsuspecting men by the urinals.

SweetJiminyC : Hee!

SweetJiminyC : ..Sorry.

SweetJiminyC : *cough*

AlexTheFab2003 : Just a sentiment I've heard floating about.

SweetJiminyC : We poor gay men. If the church hated us any more we'd be the anti Christ.

AlexTheFab2003 : As the argument as to why gays should have a separate bathroom.

Salumkana : They wouldn't know the four of us were gay unless we were together.

Salumkana : I don't look gay. Lex, you don't. Lionel...nope. Dominic, you swish, but that's okay, cause a lot of straight men do.

AlexTheFab2003 : Of course they wouldn't.

SweetJiminyC : =-O

SweetJiminyC : I most certainly do NOT swish!

LovelyOne58 : No, of course you don't

Salumkana : Lionel's lying through his teeth, cause he likes the swishing.

SweetJiminyC : I! don't! Swish!

SweetJiminyC : Swishing is reserved for gay pirates!

SweetJiminyC : I AM NOT A GAY PIRATE!

LovelyOne58 : Lionel is lying through his teeth because he would, in fact, like to have sex tonight.

SweetJiminyC : AHHH!

SweetJiminyC : *hides*

Salumkana : Heeeeheehhe. I thought so.

AlexTheFab2003 : Don't worry, Dominic. I swish too, but mine's a little more deliberate than yours.

AlexTheFab2003 : Mine's more of a light sashay

SweetJiminyC : I DO NOT SWISH!

Salumkana : Yeah, definitely, sashay. Your wares are *always* on the block.

AlexTheFab2003 : Thank you, Clark.

AlexTheFab2003 : "You have given some thought to a different lifestyle." Does that really qualify as a fortune?

SweetJiminyC : In seriousness.

SweetJiminyC : Though...I hate to say it...but I didn't think about it.

SweetJiminyC : I just..was.

SweetJiminyC : I never even considered dating a woman until I experimented in college.

AlexTheFab2003 : Define different lifestyle.

SweetJiminyC : That's the kicker. I don't think being gay *is* having a different lifestyle.

SweetJiminyC : My life has always been the same,

SweetJiminyC : *.

Salumkana : You're lucky, Dominic.

Salumkana : I went through a phase.

LovelyOne58 : Dominic, will you look on your laptop and email Lex the files on the Summerholt Institute? I just finished checking and they're not on mine.

SweetJiminyC : Indeed I will, ducks. I think I've got them.

LovelyOne58 : Thank you.

LovelyOne58 : Lex, when you read these, keep in mind I'm not suggesting you go there. I'm merely giving you some 

supplemental information that you might find helpful.

AlexTheFab2003 : All right, I'll remember that.

SweetJiminyC : No, Lionel, you're not at all a doting father. Ahh! Alright, Lex, they're on the way.

AlexTheFab2003 : Thanks, Dom.

SweetJiminyC : You're quite welcome.

AlexTheFab2003 : That fortune cookie was ghastly.

SweetJiminyC : Liar. You know you love them.

AlexTheFab2003 : I do.

AlexTheFab2003 : But they still taste like cardboard.

Salumkana : I gave him mine, too :-)

Salumkana : Hee! Of course they do.

Salumkana : They're processed Jehovah Witness leaflets, baby.

SweetJiminyC : Clark! Bad boy!

AlexTheFab2003 : Then that would explain the taste.

SweetJiminyC : You're both straight for hell.

AlexTheFab2003 : of course we are.

AlexTheFab2003 : That's where all the fun people are.

SweetJiminyC : Not me. I'll be in happy, pearly heaven.

AlexTheFab2003 : Then you're not a fun person.

SweetJiminyC : Yes, I am. I am damn fun.

SweetJiminyC : I'll have you know.

SweetJiminyC : I'm the funnest person ever so fuck you.

AlexTheFab2003 : That's Clark's job.

AlexTheFab2003 : And you're not a fun person unless you end up in hell with the rest of us party people

SweetJiminyC : Nooo. People like Pat Robertson, AL Gore, and Carrot Top are going to hell.

SweetJiminyC : I am not like them.

AlexTheFab2003 : Carrot Top?

SweetJiminyC : ....Don't ask.

AlexTheFab2003 : I just did.

LovelyOne58 : He means, don't insist upon an answer

Salumkana : Ewwww, Dominic, have you been seeing the commercials where he's like, hitting on those girls? Its like watching a dog hump a light post.

AlexTheFab2003 : Well, where's the fun in that?

SweetJiminyC : Christ. Rico's not as effeminate as he is.

SweetJiminyC : With the blouses.

SweetJiminyC : And the teased hair.

Salumkana : Ewwww. "And we made sweet, sweet calls ALL night long." Gag me.

AlexTheFab2003 : Hang on... I've got a call from... Christ, what the hell does she want?

LovelyOne58 : Who would be the she in question?

SweetJiminyC : ...?

LovelyOne58 : Lex's phone call from hell?

LovelyOne58 : Nevermind, I assume he'll tell us when he gets back

Salumkana : I dunno who he's talking to, but he just got all sweet and sugary and kinda evil.

LovelyOne58 : that doesn't bode well.

Salumkana : Oh. OH.

Salumkana : HEEEEEE

Salumkana : I know who it i-ii--iiss.

LovelyOne58 : Clark?

Salumkana : I wish you guys could hear this.

LovelyOne58 : Who is it?

Salumkana : Dominic's sister.

SweetJiminyC : Shayla? Is she alright

SweetJiminyC : ?

Salumkana : ...You could say that.

LovelyOne58 : Which one, he's got three.

SweetJiminyC : What does she want?

Salumkana : .... :-D

LovelyOne58 : I don't like the look of that smile.

LovelyOne58 : Furthermore, I'm guessing it's something her brother doesn't need to know about.

LovelyOne58 : Any of them

AlexTheFab2003 : I'm back. And yes, Dad, you're exactly right.

AlexTheFab2003 : Shayla's fine, Dominic.

AlexTheFab2003 : She just needed some advice.

SweetJiminyC : Advice?

SweetJiminyC : What has she been doing?!

AlexTheFab2003 : That's all.

AlexTheFab2003 : She needs wardrobe advice, Dominic.

AlexTheFab2003 : Apparently, I have a better *cough* fashion sense.\

SweetJiminyC : But she's a--

SweetJiminyC : ..oh.

SweetJiminyC : Never mind.

SweetJiminyC : I do not want to know.

SweetJiminyC : Don't tell me.

AlexTheFab2003 : But she's a what?

SweetJiminyC : A girl.

SweetJiminyC : But...just don't.

AlexTheFab2003 : Yes, she is.

SweetJiminyC : I don't want to know.

SweetJiminyC : I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

AlexTheFab2003 : I just happen to have what she needs in my closet.

SweetJiminyC : GRAHH! SHUT UP!

LovelyOne58 : Dominic, calm yourself.

LovelyOne58 : He's referring to the half-closet of Alexandra's wardrobe.

SweetJiminyC : LIONEL!

SweetJiminyC : SHUT UP!

Salumkana : Heeeeeeeee

SweetJiminyC : SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

AlexTheFab2003 : He's right, actually.

SweetJiminyC : I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!

SweetJiminyC : SHUT UP!

SweetJiminyC : I am not hearing this! LALALALLALA!

Salumkana : What about my half, Lionel?

Salumkana : I've got my clothes too, you know.

SweetJiminyC : *thud*

LovelyOne58 : I believe that your half is a little large for Shayla.

LovelyOne58 : Lex's will be too, especially in the chest area.

LovelyOne58 : But the rest can be taken care of with a belt and a side tie.

Salumkana : I think so too. I think, though, she's looking for something for Pete/.

LovelyOne58 : Oh, then Lex can supply that.

AlexTheFab2003 : Dad? How do you know, exactly, what I can and can't supply?

LovelyOne58 : Because, Lex, I helped to move your closet.

AlexTheFab2003 : Oh.

Salumkana : Yep. He knows what we've got, Lex.

AlexTheFab2003 : Well, except for what was behind the paneling.

Salumkana : Lionel, the holes in those wooden boxes are from me, by the way, in case you were wondering.

AlexTheFab2003 : Because I had to move them myself.

Salumkana : Lionel's got a room just like that, too.

LovelyOne58 : I did wonder, actually.

Salumkana : ...I think we killed Dominic,

AlexTheFab2003 : What?

Salumkana : *.

Salumkana : Hmm?

AlexTheFab2003 : Clark, is there something I should know about you and my father?

Salumkana : Yes, Lex.

Salumkana : We're havign a wild, passionate affair.

LovelyOne58 : During the fencing lessons.

Salumkana : Of course.

Salumkana : Nothing gets me hotter than a foil.

LovelyOne58 : That's the only time we can indulge ourselves.

Salumkana : And getting my eye poked out.

LovelyOne58 : Clark gives me quite the workout.

Salumkana : Just something so....arousing about falling flat on my back.

LovelyOne58 : A fact that I take advantage of as often as I can.

Salumkana : Of course. Its all very hush hush.

SweetJiminyC : I'm going to throw up.

LovelyOne58 : Nobody knows, not even Ms. Bird.

Salumkana : Nope. Enrique might have a clue, though.

LovelyOne58 : He usually does know everything that's going on.

LovelyOne58 : Especially having had to clean up after us.

Salumkana : Nothing some Lysol cant clean.

LovelyOne58 : And a little elbow action.

Salumkana : Heee!

Salumkana : Lionel, you crack me up.

AlexTheFab2003 : Are you both quite finished?

Salumkana : I think we killed Lex, now.

LovelyOne58 : I do try, my boy.

Salumkana : Lex, baby, I saw it with X-Ray vision.

SweetJiminyC : Speaking of, how did the condom work out, Clark?

AlexTheFab2003 : And you were what, checking out the bedroom for one of your secret trysts?

Salumkana : Very...very nice. He almost cried.

Salumkana : I was checking out the house looking for *you*.

AlexTheFab2003 : Of course you were.

LovelyOne58 : Lex, at the risk of sounding like an idiot, do get over yourself.

AlexTheFab2003 : I'm sorry. I don't have a sense of humor where Clark is concerned.

Salumkana : You should. That was actually pretty funny.

Salumkana : Considering Lionel's one of my three dads.

AlexTheFab2003 : No, that wasn't.

Salumkana : Baby...shh.

AlexTheFab2003 : I'm not going to share you, Clark.

Salumkana : We aren't going to share, don't worry. We were just teasing baby.

AlexTheFab2003 : Hmph.

Salumkana : Shhhh. Don't hmph. I love you, you know that.

AlexTheFab2003 : I know.

SweetJiminyC : Shh, Clark, stop placatating him. He'll be alright.

SweetJiminyC : I'm not dead. I refuse to consider my step son dressing in drag.

AlexTheFab2003 : Fuck you, Dominic.

SweetJiminyC : Lex, they were joking.

SweetJiminyC : You have a serious problem with jokes lately.

AlexTheFab2003 : I don't give a shit.

SweetJiminyC : No ones going to take Clark. No one would think of taking Clark.

Salumkana : Nope, no one would.

AlexTheFab2003 : *growl*

Salumkana : Cause they all know I'm with you, and you're with me, and we're happy.

SweetJiminyC : And lads, on that lovely note, your father and I are going to have to go soon.

SweetJiminyC : We're having tea with my aunts and my Gran

LovelyOne58 : Yes, we are, because Ms. Finn waits for no man

AlexTheFab2003 : Give her a kiss for me?

SweetJiminyC : Of course.

SweetJiminyC : *e

SweetJiminyC : And Lex?

AlexTheFab2003 : Yes?

SweetJiminyC : Loosen up. I don't mean it to be mean or anything, but ducks, go out.

SweetJiminyC : Have some fun, because I think you need it.

SweetJiminyC : Take Clark out to that drag club you always went to. Do something fun.

AlexTheFab2003 : I am loose enough as it is.

SweetJiminyC : No, you're not.

SweetJiminyC : You're wound tighter than Graham's legs.

SweetJiminyC : Go have some fun.

AlexTheFab2003 : I have fun all the time.

SweetJiminyC : Like when?

AlexTheFab2003 : Well, the last time we had fun ended up in my fighting with Clark and blowing all my crap into your brain.

AlexTheFab2003 : So, you know, fun isn't always on the priority list.

SweetJiminyC : Or more importantly..like what?

AlexTheFab2003 : We went out, had lunch, and went to the Palmetta Springs hotel, across from Rico's.

AlexTheFab2003 : You know the one.

SweetJiminyC : I do.

SweetJiminyC : But you didn't have fun.

SweetJiminyC : You fought and nearly beat one another senseless.

AlexTheFab2003 : We had a lot of fun, right up until we fought

SweetJiminyC : Lex...I mean like...putt putt, the movies, a romantic dinner.

SweetJiminyC : Have. Fun.

AlexTheFab2003 : Putt-putt?

SweetJiminyC : Yes.

AlexTheFab2003 : You've got to be kidding

Salumkana : *grins* Bye, guys. Have fun. I'll convince him to do something.

LovelyOne58 : Good luck, Clark.

SweetJiminyC : Good evening, lads. We do miss you terribly, and much love to you both.

AlexTheFab2003 : We miss you too.

AlexTheFab2003 : We'll see you when we get to Dublin.

Salumkana : Byee!

LovelyOne58 : Goodbye

-fin-

go on to the next part