The Memoirs

Psionics were not an exact science, by any stretch. It was barely even considered a valid course of research, and it was not surprising that Lex had no idea as to what was happening to him.

He was so focused on Clark, when the psionic explosion happened, that he didn't know that the other threads of his consciousness, the threads that attached him to the other, important people in his life, were also being affected, just as his lover was.

The first, most visceral surge of pure emotion went to the deepest core of his being. His mother, Martha Kent, though he didn't know, received every surge of sorrow he felt over the loss of his son's life.

Close after it, his father, Lionel Luthor. Anger, burning rage, ferocity and frustration surged through Lionel in seconds.

Then out further, when they were overwhelmed, to the people he loved. Dominic, who had tried through everything to be his friend, stabbed through the brain with a virtual spike of hate and jealousy.

Chloe, who he loved above all others after Clark, shaken with hate and envy of the child growing inside her. Whitney the same, bound to them by the thread of sha'nauch, poured everything into both of them.

Finally, Bruce, oldest and most dearest friend, his through the bond of shared secrets and a companionship that would never die, was flooded with loneliness and solitude that Lex felt every day at being separated from his friend.

Then the lid was clapped on, the dam shut, and Lex had not a clue as to what he'd done.

Martha had been making pies, just as she did every Friday afternoon, for the surge of patrons by nightfall at the Talon. Had been rolling pies, of all things, pies, when something... she didn't understand what, but something went through her, and the sadness was so fierce, so overwhelming, that she could do nothing but scream for her husband, and fall to the kitchen floor in a dead faint.

Dominic was asleep. Sleeping in his lovers arms, naked between cool sheets, they were cuddled up close as a heavy spring rain fell outside of the window. Or he had been sleeping, anyway, because something seized in his head, something painful and fierce, full of hate and jealousy that no verbal words could muster. Instead twin tears fell from the corners of his eyes, gazing up at the ceiling of his old bedroom, as he pressed a hand to his heart and wept.

Chloe screamed. She screamed, and screamed, and the car veered by her startled boyfriend's hands, as the sound, almost inhuman, broke from her. She screamed because she felt the seizing in her belly, the agonizing clench, and wailed in horror, deep, extreme horror, as she clenched her hands to her head.

Bruce was punching the punching bag in the basement when he was overwhelmed with such a melancholy, such a sadness, that he had to stop for a moment and close his eyes. So lonely, so sad, so alone. But he supposed he'd always be alone, no matter what, and he just... shut his eyes and kept right on hitting.

Lionel jerked awake, heart and chest welling up in deep anger such that he'd never felt before. His hands were clenched in fists, and as soon as he heard his lover sobbing, he knew the source of it, and wrapped Dominic in his arms, pulling him against a broad chest, rubbing his shoulders and back, soothing him softly, even as his heart still burned furiously.

Shayla screamed in the back seat as she saw the car spinning out of control, but instead of sitting back in the seat she leaned forward, and wrapped her arms around Chloe, rocking her friend's head in her lap and rubbing her shoulders. "Baby, please, what's wrong, is it the baby? You're scaring Whitney, please..."

Whitney's foot was standing on the brake pedal, pushing it through the floor as the SUV rolled to a stop. His hands were trembling on the wheel, and he shoved Shayla back into the seat as he pulled Chloe against him. "Fuck. Shayla, get out. Come on. Get behind the wheel, and give me the fucking phone." He cradled Chloe against him. "Come on, Chloe, don't you dare. Don't you leave me."

=-=-=

Dick was standing in the doorway, watching Bruce vent on the punching bag, when Wally came in. "S'up, man?"

Wally held the CD up. "You guys really should hear this." The jewel box waggled slightly, catching the light and casting prisms over Bruce. "What's with the big man?"

Dick let his face fall, slightly saddened. "Nothin' I can fix," he said softly, watching the rippling shoulders and pounding fists.

Dominic wrapped his arms around his lover and wept. As soon as they came to him he held him, tightly, not understanding why he was feeling such pain and misery, only that it was horrible. His lover was furious... he could hear it in the beating of his heart, the tense hands gripping his back. And he cried. Oh, Christ, and he cried. He hadn't felt this horrible in a long time, because the hate and fury and jealousy had immediately turned to a mind crushing sadness that he couldn't describe. Rather than deal with pain, as he had done most of his life, he turned it into a deep sadness, a horrible sadness, and he wept, softly, in his sorrow.

The seizing was agonizing. Chloe screamed again, sobbing uncontrollably. Lightening quick and lightening hard, it speared through her like a hot, deep fire. She felt a sickening warmth spreading from the valley of her thighs and she knew, at once, that it was blood. She cried, heavily, not understanding, not understanding at all what was going on, and she wept in pain as she leaned back against her friend. "Help...help me, help me, please." So much joy this day, all the baby things in the trunk, and she was going to lose her baby in the middle of the street.

Another agonized seizing, and she screamed.

Bruce looked up, sweat dripping down his back, at Wally. Ignored his lovers words, and instead held his hand out. "What happened?"

Lionel just held his lover tightly, rocking him, soothing him with quiet words and soft whispers, with no clue as to what had actually happened.

"Fuck!" Whitney swore as soon as he saw the blood darkening the jeans his lover had worn, and the seat under her. "Goddammit no!" He threw the cell phone at Shayla. "Call 9-1-1. And then call Lex." Hard swallow, as he cradled Chloe against him. "Tell them that Chloe's miscarrying the baby." He pressed his cheek to her temple, and kissed her softly. "It's okay, baby. We're calling help right now. Calm down. It's... it's going to be okay. I promise. It's going to be okay. I'm not going to lose you." He rocked her in his lap even as he started crying.

Dick straightened up and followed Wally into the gym, running his fingers over Bruce's before lacing them together.

Wally held out the CD. "You, uh... you really need to hear this, Bruce."

Shayla bounced in the back seat and caught the phone as Whitney gave it to her, but instead of calling 9-1-1 first, she called Lex. Waited for him to answer.

The Murcielago was silent, except for the ringing of his cell phone, and Lex nearly didn't answer it. Clark hadn't spoken, wouldn't even look at him, and he felt as though his heart was going to break. "Luthor," he answered softly.

"Thank God. Lex, please... you've got to do something. Chloe's losing her baby."

Lex's heart seized, and his belly clenched. "She can't. Call the hospital. Have them send an ambulance for her." He hung up the phone, and slammed on the brakes. Car spun out across the breakdown lane, but he didn't care, coming to a halt on the shoulder and he got out of the car. "It's not going to happen!" Lex yelled, and he got down on his knees, closing his eyes. His nails dug into his thighs, and he reached out. As hard as he could, with every bit of his power harnessed. Chloe. Chloe, please. If you can... answer me. Please... I won't let this happen to you. Please... answer me, help me find you. Please.

Clark just stared. He had hardly spoken a word, and when Lex veered the car off the highway he'd held on.

And it was only now, that he felt the pain his ashikana was in, and his heart broke, even more so than it already was. "Oh, no."

Chloe was crying too, sobbing, as the pain overtook her. It was horrible, wrenching, and she felt her growing tummy contract and heave and the pain was unbelievable. She screamed again, the smell of blood horrid, and cried into her lovers shoulder even as she screamed.

Bruce took his lovers hand, quietly and softly, and took the CD, carefully. "What is it?"

Clark went through them, the link that joined them as sha'nauch, and it was like it was happening again. All over again, and like a nightmare he felt the new life, a life he hadn't even realized he could already feel, slip away. His throat closed, his chest heaved, and he closed his eyes. If he wished, really hard, this could be a nightmare. Had to be a nightmare. Had to be, couldn't be real, had to be a nightmare, HAD TO BE A NIGHTMARE. This couldn't be real, this couldn't be happening, this couldn't be true.

Whitney was helpless to do anything. Tears were sliding down his face, and he stroked Chloe's belly, trying to calm her down, and he could feel the contractions and the death throes of his baby inside her, and all he could concentrate on was not losing her. "Chloe, please... stay with me. Stay with me, baby, don't go." He thought that, in a second, maybe he knew what Lex had felt.

Lex followed the thread, backtracking it through Clark until he could feel Chloe, and he gave it a yank. A hard yank, pulled it into himself, and his body went rigid.

Goddammit to all to Sh'roth's lowest hell, this is not going to happen! Lex forced his way into Chloe's consciousness. Ashikana... beautiful ashikana, this is not going to happen. He took a deep breath, felt it fill Chloe's lungs too. Calm, my beautiful. Calm. Lex clutched her thread tightly, forced it to calm. Ssssh. There. He could feel her body in upheaval around him, as though he was the one feeling this pain and he forced it down. This is not happening, he told her body quietly. He followed the trail of her blood down to her contracting womb, and soothed it, invisible hands stroking over the flesh. This isn't happening; calm yourself. This too shall pass; it's only a cramp. More soothing touches.

Wally surrendered the CD to Bruce. "I put the transmitter on Lex like you said; lucky break I met him at the comic place." Little sigh. "He and Clark had a bit of a fight; the rest of it you need to hear yourself."

Clark felt his lover enter his mind and heart, where he didn't want him, but he allowed him to pull on the thread, even as he helped. He soothed his ashimel where he could, realizing suddenly that they had to be close because it wasn't a struggle, and he grasped his ashimels heart tightly in his hands and soothed him. We won't let her die.

The pain, bright, hot, like a seething blade, began to soothe. She sucked in the breaths, begging for air into starving lungs that she hadn't even known she'd needed, inhaling and exhaling stiffly. She shook, deeply, as she felt the pain subside, the contractions and her baby's shaking and moving slowly stop and soothe. She was still crying, heavily, and there was blood everywhere. She felt faint with it, as she wept, begging God not to take her baby as she stayed leaning against her lover.

Bruce rose a brow, carefully, at his young friend, and let go of Dick's hand to cross the gym and out. He walked up the hall, towards his office, his towel over his shoulder as he walked. Dried his face and neck slightly as he slid behind his desk into his chair, and put the CD into the computer tower beside him.

That's right. That's right. It was just a cramp, this isn't happening. Lex's hands moved and stroked, further up along her womb to calm the twitching and jerking. This isn't happening. He could feel the hot, thick blood on his hands and went on despite it. He pushed calmness onto her, though he was no longer, in any way, calm. Breathe, my ashikana. Breathe. Things are going to be all right.

Sweat was pouring off Lex's body, soaking the white shirt he was wearing, jeans sodden and clinging to him as he pushed his mind and his body to the limit to ensure that what happened to him and Clark didn't happen to Chloe. There. There. Breathe, my darling girl, breathe.

Whitney felt the calming touch of Clark in his thoughts, and he shuddered, pulling in deep breaths as he cradled Chloe against him, slowing when her body stopped the frantic jerking, and he could feel her belly stilling under his hand. "Chloe, baby, are you all right, please?" God, don't take her. Take the baby if you have to, but please, Dear God, don't take her too.

Shayla was trembling in the back seat, hands clutching the phone. The ambulance siren was wailing as it flew towards them, and she had her arms crossed across her chest, rocking and crying softly as she watched her friend suffering, unable to do anything to help.

Dick followed to the office, curious as to what he was going to hear, and then his eyebrows shot up.

"It wasn't thoughtlessness! It hurts me worse when you feel like you have to watch what you say, like I'm some tender hearted female. I can take it, Lex. You don't have to think before you open your mouth."

"You're not a tender hearted female, Clark, you're my aushna'. And for all that, you do have the tenderest heart of anyone I've met before, and you've entrusted it to my keeping! And I'm going to protect it, and you, and if you don't like it... trenk'ha'nashana!"

"I do NOT! I do not have a tender heart at all! I am not a weeping mess! I have trusted myself to you, and you to me, and fuck you too!"

"You're not a weeping mess, but you feel things, Clark, you feel things deeper than anyone else I've ever known! When you hurt, the world hurts, the skies cry when you cry. When you are in pain, the earth howls."

"Yes I feel, but that doesn't mean my own aushna' can't tell me things! That he will keep things from me, that he will not be a hundred percent honest with his heart and his mind when he's with me because he's scared of what I'll do! I won't have my aushna' feeling like that, goddammit!"

"And I won't have you hurting because of me!"

"You can't KEEP things from me because you think I'll hurt! Fuck you, for thinking I'm some tender little wimp! I'll have you know I AM EL, who can control the earth and the skies with his mind, who has powers that are unlike any mortal mans! I AM NOT A WIMP!"

"I am El too, chosen of Kal and given the blessing of Jor! It is my right, and my duty, to protect my aushna' and keep him safe from harm, this is my privilege of El and my honor of aushna'!"

Her body stopped jerking. Stopped jerking, finally, and Chloe lay limp against Whitney's body, because she was going to faint. She was covered in blood, her body ached with the effort the outside force was keeping from happening. Lex, Lex was keeping her from dying, keeping her baby from coming out too early, keeping him from dying, and she wept softly as she listened to him, in her heart, and followed his directions. She took shaking, heavy breaths, weak fingers coming up to touch Whitney's face, looking for his hand.

Clark helped. He helped where he could, aching in pain and suffering, hardly able to believe this was real, this was happening, this wasn't some sick disgusting dream. He calmed Whitney as much as he could, directed his hands where to go, where to rub her back so the pain would relieve a little bit, and sat, in the passenger chair, watching his lover sweat with exertion. No ones' taking her. She's going to be okay, ashimel. I promise.

Bruce listened to the whole, sickening thing. From them yelling at each other, to the tears and screams, the fight that ended abruptly for no reason. A dull thump... then Lex sobbing, and Clark gasping, and Bruce's eyes narrowed, temper flaring as he listened, quietly.

Lex's shoulders were shaking as he held his body tense, held the concentration that he had to have to keep his hold on her. Ssssh. There. We're going to be okay. Lex was gritting his teeth, and soft little moans were coming out of his throat as he held himself still, pouring everything he had, every bit of control, every ounce of his being, into this. That's right. Take his hand. Hold Whitney's hand. Tell him that everything is going to be okay. He held the baby in his hands, felt the circulation through him, sensed just barely, through his lover, that the life force was still there. Say that your baby is going to be fine. I can't hold you for much longer, Chloe. The ambulance is almost there, they will take care of you from here. Please... you're going to be okay.

Whitney was gasping softly, rocking Chloe against him, rubbing where Clark instructed, so that he could ease some of her pain. "Ssssh. We're going to be all right," he whispered. "They're taking care of us.

Dick moved to stand behind his lover, rubbing broad, strong shoulders that were tense again with anger, and he didn't say anything as his thumbs pressed down at the base of Bruce's neck, rubbing gently.

Wally was carefully not looking, because a pissed-off Batman was never a good thing.

Fuck. The last thing Clark wanted to do was touch Lex, but even though this was hard, he loved his lover very much. So he gently, ever so gently, touched his hand, and shared his strength and energy with him, as he whispered soft, meaningless words to both his ashimel and his aushna'.

"Its... g-gonna be okay, baby... baby is fine." She whispered to her lover, knowing he understood how, and whimpered as he touched her back. It helped, a little, even as she saw the ambulance stop in front of her. The pain was unreal, but it could have been a million times worse. Lex soothed that pain, even as she wept softly, and watched as the paramedics jumped down with their cart.

Bruce was furious. He'd never been more angry in his life. Anger turned to hate, fueled by his sadness, and he growled, deep in his throat, as Dick touched him. "That son of a bitch."

Lex was shaking. Hard. The addition of Clark's strength bolstered him at the same time it weakened his emotional resolve, and he trembled. There they are. They're going to take care of you now. We'll be there as soon as we can. I have... I have to go now. You're going to be fine. With that, he collapsed, unconscious from the exertion.

Shayla was sobbing in the back seat, scared, afraid, and everything else as she watched, because she didn't know what was going on, didn't know what was happening with her friend, and she was afraid.

Whitney nodded, and kicked the door open for the paramedics. He didn't relinquish his grip on Chloe until he had to, until the paramedics pulled her out of his arms to check her over. They were asking him questions that he answered as best he could, still shivering.

Dick wasn't afraid of the growl. "We don't know everything," Dick reminded him. "Why don't you call Lex and see? Right now? Ask how he's doing. Make sure everything's okay?"

- = - = -

There was no mercy. Of that, Clark was certain. No mercy, at all, on this earth. For the last fifteen years of his life on this earth, he'd done nothing but fuck up, and fuck over, and ruin everyone's lives.

His lover, his beautiful Lex, was laying unconscious in their bed. He'd had Ms. Toni come over, to check him over, excusing it for a bump on the noggin, though there was no bump to be had. Ms. Toni, being Ms. Toni, didn't pry, and he was left to care over his lover for the night.

He lay there, limp, wearing a t-shirt and boxers, under thick quilts and atop fluffy pillows. He hadn't woken up, at all, and Clark rubbed the tears from his cheeks, streaks of them, with the heel of his hand.

He had felt, in a great flood, the pain inside of Lex's heart and head over what Clark had done to him, over Mar, the pain and suffering. And there was nothing, on this earth, he could do.

Lex hadn't moved since he'd collapsed. Stuck, right where he was, and his head was completely dark. Closed and quiet, is eyes were shut, his head was shut off, and he couldn't feel. Didn't even think, and he was exhausted. Couldn't even reach out enough to activate their link and reassure his lover he was okay.

Instead, he just... laid there. Resting. Recharging his batteries, trying to get up the energy to even open his eyes, and he couldn't. The blackness was so calm. So silent. So comforting, and he sighed, soaking it in, relaxing.

Clark shifted, at the quiet, shaky sigh, and rubbed his eyes clear. He was exhausted, so exhausted. Everything had been going so well up till now, and he closed his throat off, biting his lip.

Chloe had been taken to Smallville General... Clark had called her cell phone and gotten Shayla. She was doing alright... resting, on medication. Whitney was a wreck, Clark could feel it, but right now they each had their lovers to watch over. Clark knew the gift Lex had given to Chloe and Whitney today, and it drowned out some of the guilt and turned it into pride, at what his lover had done for their sha'nauch.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Way." Bruce bellowed it, as Enrique tried to bar the way. "I'm going to break your Spanish ass in half if you don't get the hell out of my way and let me see Lex." He had just gotten off the plane and had come straight here; Dick was right behind him, trying to calm Bruce down as Enrique tried to stop them. "Get out of the way now. This is the last time I'll ask."

"Chu...are no' eenvited!" But Enrique valued his life and stepped out of the way, glaring at him. "Mees Bird! Chu call nine vun vun!"

Bruce pulled back his fist. He was in no mood for this, and then Enrique stepped out of the way. He just snarled at the Spanish man as he passed, and when he found the door to Lex's bedroom closed, he kicked the door open. Didn't even bother trying it, didn't care if it was locked or not.

Clark had been so deep in his own world that he hadn't heard the pounding, and when the door slammed in, he jumped to his feet, in front of his lover. His eyes widened... when he realized it was Bruce of all people, and he blinked, twice. "You owe me a door."

"Bill me for it." His eyes fell on Lex, and he snarled again. "What did you do to him?"

"What?" Confusion littered his mind. "What are you talking about?"

"What did you do to my Lex?" Snarled again as he stalked forward.

"I didn't do anything to him." But the hackles rose. My Lex? No. Not Bruce's, not at all. "What the fuck are you talking about? He was hurt today, I already had the doctor come check him over."

"Then why is he laying there like that?"

"Because he's hurt. I already told you that." Grit. Teeth. "You have no right barging in like this." He looked over Bruce's shoulder at Dick, disappointment in his heart. "Either of you."

"Don't look at me, Clark, I'm just here to keep him from killing anybody." He shrugged. "Don't even think I can control him."

"He was hurt? You mean, you hurt him." Bruce's huge hands clenched as he closed in on the door. "What doctor? What did they say?"

Pain. "I didn't hurt him. He hurt himself, saving our friend. And you know what, Bruce? I don't have to tell you anything. Please leave."

"Oh. Yes. You do have to tell me something. Because if you don't, I'm packing that young man up and he's leaving with me. Where I can protect him from himself, and apparently, from you too. Now, you decide, Clark. Do I go through you to get to him, or do you tell me?"

Okay. The FUCK? "Alright, Bruce, I don't know what crack you smoked before coming over here, but first of all, I really don't have to tell you any goddamn thing. You aren't taking Lex anywhere, because I protect him, and you are not going to talk to me like a four year old child!"

"Have it your way." Bruce cracked his knuckles and stalked towards the bed.

Dick threw a pleading glance at Clark. "I love him, Clark... don't hurt him, please," he asked softly.

Bruce wasn't Batman for nothing, without having a few tricks up his sleeve. But he just walked forward, intending to pick Lex up and walk out with him.

Clark blocked his way. Of course. His anger elevated and his body began to contort to its ready to kick some ASS mode. "YOU are not taking my love ANYWHERE." He snarled, and pushed Bruce backwards, glaring darkly. "You are not taking him anywhere! He is mine, you stay AWAY! I knew this day would come, when you came to claim him, and I will not let our dishonor go unavenged!"

Bruce stumbled backwards, and flicked a button on his belt. The same kind of armor that plated the Batmobile clicked into place over his chest, his arms, and his legs, leaving only his face and hands unprotected. "You're wrong, Clark. I'm taking Lex out of here, and I'm not going to let you stop me. Because I'm not going to let you hurt him any longer. Telling him that he doesn't have the right to worry about you, that he doesn't have the right to love you... no. That's not going to happen." Hydraulics gave Bruce a little extra strength, but he knew it was nothing like Clark's. "I'm going to take him and keep him safe."

"I do not hurt him!" But the words caught something in his mind, something that was strangely familiar, even as he snarled and pushed him back again. "Stay AWAY! He is mine, you cannot have him! I keep him safe, I keep him warm, I AM HIS AUSHNA', and I will be DAMNED if you're going to TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME!"

"I don't care what he is to you," Bruce said stubbornly. "You can't take care of him. Therefore, it's my responsibility to do it."

"Yes, I CAN!" Bright shock of pain, horror, because no. He couldn't take care of him. He couldn't take care of his lover, not when there had been so much pain inside of him. He wouldn't run away, as much as it ached him to keep himself here. Too much pain today, too much pain, and he couldn't deal with it on his own. He was nineteen, not thirty nine. He didn't know how to deal with what he was feeling, at all. Which, as Bruce himself had said once, is what separated him from being human.

Because he wasn't human. And because he wasn't, he had brought pain and suffering to those who had dared love him.

Discordance. That was what woke him, pulled him from the island of quiet blackness where he was recovering. Terror, fear, anger, possession. Harsh emotions that rubbed rawly at his open psyche, and he forced his eyes open.

He was shocked to find that Clark wasn't sitting by his bedside. Instead, Clark was circling... Bruce? The hell?

Couldn't sit up. Didn't have enough strength for it. But he did it anyway, pushing himself up straight and glaring. "What... the hell?" A blink. "Clark... Clark?" A little note of terror that rang in his voice. "Clark, where are you?"

"I'm here. I'm here, baby." His body deflated. Lex... Lex was alive. Awake, okay, alive, and cursing. Oh, God. He completely forgot about Bruce as he sank down on the sheets, carefully, softly, bringing Lex in close so his weak body wouldn't have to over work itself. "Baby. I'm here."

Lex arms wrapped around his lover, holding him as tightly as he could, which wasn't much. "What's going on?" Fervent little kiss to Clark's cheek, holding on. Glaring at Bruce.

Bruce was glaring. "Lex. I'm glad you're awake. Get packed."

"YOU are not taking my aushna' ANYWHERE!"

The blood was rushing through Bruce's head. He didn't care how, or what, or when, all he knew was that he was acting insane, yes, but also protecting his dearest friend. "I said NOW! I'm not leaving you with this lunatic anymore! Jesus Christ, Lex, think for a minute!"

No. What Bruce hadn't done was think. He'd almost blown his cover. He had to keep Wally here, in Smallville, and he couldn't do it if he told Lex how he knew something had been wrong. Instead he snarled at Clark, got a snarl back, and glared as he took a step back. The hot, deep rage cooled to a boiling fury, and he let himself inhale, stiffly.

Dick stepped forward, and slid his arms around Bruce's waist, and in the process, turned off the armor. "Ssssh. Step back, Bruce. Come on. Step back. Think... don't say a fucking word more than you have already." He was pulling, but knew Bruce wouldn't budge unless he wanted to budge.

Cold spear of fear in his gut, and Lex clung to Clark. "I know I was bad," Lex whispered softly, "but don't let him take me."

"Calm down, Aushna'." Clark answered, as he stroked his lovers head. "No one is taking you, if you don't want to go. I don't want you to go. He can't take you away from me."

"Bullshit I can't." Bruce snarled, but Dicks gentle fingers had him backing up and sitting in the chair beside the door. "Fuck. Fuck you, Clark. I saw the thing with Chloe on the television and I knew the both of you were involved. Miracle, they said, she didn't die. Bullshit."

Lex's arms tightened around Clark's waist as he looked at Bruce. "I don't want to go. I'm not going."

Dick physically sat on Bruce's lap, figuring that the worst Bruce'd do was throw him off on his ass, and at best, it'd be a barrier to keep Bruce in his seat. His arms went around Bruce's neck and he kept kneading softly, whispering softly.

Lex took a deep breath. "It was a miracle she didn't die. It was a miracle she's all right, and I'm glad she is."

"Bull, Lex. Clark did something." Alright. the anger was sliding out of him, and he lay his head, shakily, on his lovers arm. "I was worried. I'm sorry."

Yeah, he'd better be. Clark had been ready to stand up and kick his ass, but when he apologized to his aushna'... it was enough.

"I worry about you. You're sleeping with an alien, who has no idea what he's doing, or what he's doing to you."

Alright. Alright, so, that was it. "Bruce, if you do not fucking shut up about the alien crap I'm going to kick your sorry ass back to Gotham. You think you know me? You think you know all about me, because you and Lex are close? Let me give you a little bit of a heads up--you don't know me. You don't know ME, or my kind, or my lover, and you most certainly don't understand who or what we are--"

"Save it, Clark. All that fucking mumbo jumbo? Save it. I really don't care, to tell you the honest truth. I don't care if I understand or not. All I care about is Lex, and his well being. If YOU, your alien highness, aren't going to provide that safety for him, than I. Will."

"SHUT UP!!!" Lex yelled it, at the top of his lungs.

Clark's jaw shut with an almost audible click, and he swallowed, looking down.

"You know I'm right." Was all Bruce said.

"Bruce, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm kicking you out of my house as soon as I can get out of this bed." He pulled harder on Clark, making Clark lay down beside him so he could clearly curl up, safely and comfortably against his lover. "It wasn't Clark, all right? It was me, this time. It was me, not Clark. I was the freak this time. Yes, I'm sleeping with an alien. I'm also sleeping with a man who loves me, and who hurts when I hurt, and who is, when it comes down to it, probably more human than you are." Lex's eyes didn't flinch. "I'm sorry to say that, Bruce. Because you are my friend, and I love you. You know that. But Clark is my all."

"Fine." He'd never tell anyone, not even his lover, not even his priest, how much that hurt. Justification of how inhuman he truly was, no matter what, and it speared into deep, dark places of his heart without so much as a flinch from him. "I was trying to take care of you."

"I know you were." Lex sighed. "Bruce... look at me."

"Fuck you, Lex." He climbed to his feet, carefully depositing his lover on his feet. "Lets go, Dick."

Dick shook his head. "Bruce, sit down."

He glared. Deeply. "You want to stay here? Fine."

"Bruce, sit the fuck down, right now." Dick put his hands on his hips. "You know, I'm tired of this. You drag me all this way, and then when Lex tells you to sit down and shut up, you're going to drag me back. Not happenin'." He got in his lover's face. "I don't like what he said either. In fact, it's pissin' me off. But the man's known you longer'n I have, and if he's tryin' to piss you off, then he's doin' with a reason, and you should fucking well be able to see it. Now sit the fuck down."

Pride. Pride was deep, and he glared at Dick... then at Lex, and Clark. All against him. All of them. Fine. He didn't need anyone.

But because he was full of pride, he sat down, rather than push past Dick.

"Thank you." Dick turned his glare on Lex next. "Now, you wanna explain to me why you just insulted my man and your best friend?"

Lex sighed as he held tight to Clark. "I was trying to before he stalked out." A third sigh. "Bruce... listen. I know that hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry. And I didn't mean it the way you think. You're not unfeeling. You really aren't, as much as you'd like to be. You try to be a robot, but things hit you DEEP. And then you hide them. And it grows. Clark's not like that. Clark's human. If you say something that hurts him, you see it. And you regret it, because you see that it's caused somebody pain. Clark's not like you. Clark's never going to be like you. Clark's never going to be like anyone else on this planet, and you know what? I don't care. The absolute bottom line is this; he's mine. And I'm his."

"It didn't hurt my fucking feelings." He answered, glaring over at him without looking at him. "I came here to help you. And you know what? As much as you hate it, I'm always going to be here to help you, even if you hate it. And the honest truth is--Clark is a good kid, but he is a special kid who has no clue yet what he's capable of that. I just don't want you, as a human being, caught in the crossfire and killed because he doesn't know anything."

Clark was listening, silently. Bruce had a valid point, even as much as Clark hated it. But hearing his lover say he was human meant more to Clark than he could ever explain, and he squeezed Lex's hand, tightly, holding his hand gently in his. Hah, Bruce, you fucker. Hah.

"You know, Bruce," Lex said calmly, lying back. "You really should check your facts." He closed his eyes, breathed out softly. "I'm the one who's almost killed Clark. When I first met him, when I've peeled him down from the ceiling, today. If you want to protect someone, Bruce? Protect Clark." He tightened his hand around Clark's as much as he could, squeezing.

Dick brushed his lips over Bruce's neck. "Ssssh," he whispered softly. "It's okay; he's just making Clark feel better. You're a better human being than all of us." Softly spoken as his hand stroked calmingly over Bruce's shoulder.

Bruce didn't, in any way, want to deal with it. He didn't believe Dick... Dick had fucking left him because he was so horrible. He just didn't care anymore. At all. So he just nodded at Lex, and looked up at his lover. "We should go. Our plane is waiting for us."

"Stay," Dick said softly. "If you're not sure? Stay. I'm sure Lex won't mind." Daggers shot towards the billionaire at that. "Stay. Make sure you're content." More soft, calming strokes. He refrained from mentioning Wally in the radius of super-hearing."

"He'll be fine. He's got Clark to take care of him." He rose to his feet, and just shook his head. "Good luck, Lex." was all he said, as he opened the bedroom door, jaw clenched.

Lex didn't say anything. He just burrowed closer to Clark, miserable because he felt like he was having to make choice between his best friend and his aushna'. There was no choice, because Clark was it, but he was still miserable.

Clark hated it more. He hated hurting his aushna', hated seeing him hurt, hated feeling like he'd just ruined something, again, and he looked up as Clark walked out with Dick, wincing. "Lex... Lex. You have to make it right… don't let him leave."

Lex shook his head. "I can't. If he won't accept you, then I can't make it right. Because you're my aushna', Clark, you're everything. I can't not have you over everything else." Tighter press to Clark's side.

"But he's been your friend for years." Clark whispered, as he looked down at his lover and gently stroked his face. "Baby, you can't let him get away like this. If he leaves, he isn't ever going to talk to you again."

"But that doesn't matter," Lex said softly. "I don't want to lose Bruce, but... I can't lose you. You... you're necessary to my existence. And if he is going to take me away from you, if he isn't going to understand I need you... then I have to let him go, Clark, because when it comes down to it, it's you. I can't take the risk of not waking up beside you in the morning."

"But I'm here, Lex." Clark whispered, softly, as he stroked over pale, sallow cheeks, gently kissing him once, twice, three times. "I'm here. I won't let anyone take you away from me… he couldn't even if he tried. No one can keep us apart. I love you, Lex. But he is your friend. You shouldn't have to chose, even if I hate him, we can coexist, because he is this… integral part of you."

Out in the hallway, Dick was feeling incredibly guilty as he walked behind his lover, keeping up with the furious pace. On the one hand, he was happy to see that Bruce was leaving Lex behind.

But the biggest part of him? Was guilty because of that, because he knew how much Lex's friendship meant to Bruce. "Bruce... man, you can't walk out like this." And he was going to hate himself in the morning for saying it, but hell. This was his Bruce that was suffering, and he had a LOT of making up to do.

Lex returned Clark's kisses as much as he could, nibbling and holding his lover close. "Please... promise me that you won't let him take me away."

"You want to bet?" Lex had made his choice. Bruce had bent over backwards for him, and this is how Lex repaid that love. "Dick, lets go." He didn't need friends like that. Bruce had tried to help him, and it was thrown back at him You know what? Fine. Let him rot, with his alien boyfriend. He really doesn't give a flying fuck anymore. He didn't stop as he walked down the hall and down the stairs, shoes clunking hollowly through the stairs.

"Bruce, stop." Dick was about two seconds away from digging his heels in. "I'm serious. You can't. Lex is your friend, and yeah, maybe he is being a little piss-headed about all of this, but he's still your friend. And if you walk out on him, you are going to regret it. God knows you are. Please... don't have another regret in your life. For me. Please." Dick skipped a step and got in front of Bruce, walking backwards so they were face to face. "Every time you have a regret, you take away from what we have, because that's another part of you hurt, shut down, closed off, and beyond my reach. And believe me, I'm cool with that, because that's just how you are. But Bruce, please... this one you can fix. Please, for my sake."

Fuck. FUCK. "Don't… beg me, Dick. Don't beg me, not for this. Alright? I'm not going to regret it. He is my one friend in this world, my one true friend without strings attached. I tell him everything, Dick, almost as much as I tell you. And did you just fucking hear him call me inhuman? After he knows everything..." Everything I've BEEN through. "Everything about you and me? Everything about our night life? He's a twenty two year old ignorant fool. He knows nothing of life. He lives, secluded, in this little town. I'd like for him to see what I've been through, live through my experiences, and then have the nerve to call me inhuman." And because what Dick had said was true, about closing off, it struck him. Christ, what a piece of work he was. "I can't, Dick. What I did is wrong, but I was trying to help. I should have never come here. Its my fault, for caring too much."

"Then don't fucking tell me that, tell him that!" Dick stopped, and pushed his lover back towards the bedroom. "I know why you did it, and I'm pretty sure he does too, but please... okay. Think. If Lex came in, threatening to take me away from you? How the hell would you react? Would you offer him a cup of tea? Or would you tell him anything to make him go away and leave you alone?" He sighed. Christ, he really hated himself for this.

He didn't want to talk about this. So he just shut off, clenched his jaw and pushed past his lover. He wasn't going to swallow his pride, and say he was sorry, for something he didn't do. He'd be damned. He had pride, a lot of pride, all he had was pride. And he wouldn't let Lex call him something that he'd never expected his dearest friend in the world, someone he loved endlessly, to call him, not without knowing the pain it would inflict. Lex knew just what he'd been doing when he'd called him those words, and he wouldn't sit there and listen to him try and fix it. Lex had said what he'd needed to say, and that was it.

Something hollow, and heavy, was sitting in his throat, that he hid with the expertise of someone who lived their life hiding things.

Dick sighed. He'd tried. He put his hands in his pockets and followed Bruce silently, without saying another word. There went another piece of his lover that he'd never be able to reach again, and he just stayed silent. There was no way that he couldn't mourn, though, because he knew exactly what Lex meant to Bruce.

Bruce glanced behind him, and his lover, and the face he had tore into him. So he offered his hand, quietly, as they stepped off the stairs and headed for the front door.

Dick laced his fingers tightly through his lover's and tugged him back, so they fell into step together. "I'm only gonna say it one more time, Bruce... I think you're makin' a mistake leavin', and I think Lex is makin' a mistake not askin' you to stay."

"You… are the love of my life." Was all he said, quietly, as he squeezed his fingers tightly. "I can't swallow my pride, Dick, and go beg his forgiveness. I can't do it."

"I know you can't." He looked up at Bruce. "It ain't who you are. And I love you for it, even though I think it's gonna hurt ya more in the long run."

He stopped him, at the threshold of the door, and ran his fingers over his lovers short cropped hair. "I did it for you. I was in the fault, and I knew it. But this time... its still my fault, yeah." He closed his eyes for a moment. "He's my best friend. He was the first person to make me feel again. But I can't... trade my personal honor and integrity, what I've got left of it, for him. Because that honor, and that integrity, is what's keeping the man you love together. Do you understand?"

"What you've got left it? Bruce... you don't get it. You got more of it oozin' outta you than I got style, man." Little grin. "You're like, the poster child for honor and integrity. Look it up in the dictionary, and it's got your picture there. You are what Boy Scouts want to grow up to be, minus the rodent issues. But seriously, Bruce... Christ. I understand. Better'n you think, maybe, even if I can't say it for shit. But you... you keep treatin' Lex like he's your property, and not your friend. Why the hell you think I get so jealous about it? Your Lex, you said, like he's still your lover or whatever. I know how much you love him, and it kills me knowin' that the part of you that loves him is gonna shrivel up and die, because part of that is the part that lets you love me."

"I don't treat him like--"

He stopped, for a moment.

Fuck.

"Dick... I treat him like... my property...because his brain cells don't work. He drank them out of his head when he was a teenager. He has no sense. I just... I don't want Clark to hurt him, because Lex is everything I try to be. He's honest, and a good man, and he's got shit for fucking brains. But you... have nothing to be jealous of. Nothing. The love I have for Lex isn't anywhere near like the love I have for you. You're everything to me. Nothing will ever let that die, Dick."

"They didn't all die, Bruce," Lex said softly. He was standing at the top of the stairs, half propped on the banister and half propped against his lover. "I think the insult you're trying for, is I have no common sense. Which is probably true." His grip tightened on Clark's shoulder a moment. "Come back upstairs."

Bruce looked up, and he was horrified, utterly, that Lex had heard him. Not because of the insult, but because he didn't give a better one. He glared, darkly, at him, and squeezed Dicks fingers tightly. "I have nothing to talk to you about."

"Fine," Lex said shortly. "Then come upstairs and listen." Most of his weight leaned against the banister. "And could you hurry, I've had a bit of a tiring day."

Clark had wanted to lift him up, though his lover had told him no. So he just glared at Bruce, arm around his lovers waist, and when Lex finally turned away, he lifted him up and disappeared back with him into the hall.

Bruce stood, frozen, for a moment. He didn't want to go. At all. He didn't want to ruin one of the longest relationships he'd ever had, but he hated bending his pride and going up there.

So he looked to his lover, for guidance.

Dick just held Bruce's hand tightly. "You know what I think, Bruce." The very lightest nudge possible back towards the stairway. "But you also know... I'm on your side, whatever you want to do."

"Alright." He leaned down, and pressed a kiss to his lovers cheek bone. "Get the alien out of here, alright? So I can talk to him alone."

Dick gave a little grin. "The alien has a name, you know, and is no more likely to leave you alone with Lex than I would leave you alone with Clark."

He snarled, darkly, and nodded. "Get the car running." He turned and snapped at the little gay Cuban house boy and stalked back up the stairs. He hated feeling like this, completely, but he followed the sounds and the light at the end of the hall.

"Please?" Dick added as he sprinted up the stairs behind Bruce. When he noticed Bruce hesitating at the threshold, Dick pushed the door open.

Lex looked up at his lover, rubbing his thumb over Clark's wrist. "I'll be okay," he said softly. "Bruce isn't going to hurt me." He was sitting up in bed now, pillows behind his head and back. "Go ahead, start the bath. I'll be in there soon, and if I need you, you'll be just through the door."

Clark nodded, gently tugging the blanket over his lap, and growled at Bruce's face before sliding through into the bathroom.

Not hurt you? I should throttle you, you mother fucker. Bruce thought darkly.

I wouldn't think such things if I were you, Lex inserted smoothly in Bruce's head.

Bruce looked up, at that. To his credit, the blood stayed in his face. "What?"

"Don't worry, I can only read it when you're this close to me," he said, indicating the short space between them. "Otherwise... I just get a general sense of where you are and what you're feeling." He closed his eyes, and brought his hand up to massage the bridge of his nose.

"What?" Repeated. He didn't come anymore into the room.

"Your mind, dipshit." Lex glared. "You think I'm talking about the fucking cookbook?" Even the glare hurt his head. "Come in and stop hovering, Christ."

His jaw clenched. Normally, he'd be alright with Lex calling him things, but not at the moment. He stepped in, hands crossed in front of him, and waited, expectantly. "Dick, go down to the car."

"You got it. Just please don't kill anybody, because there's already been enough blood shed in this house, okay?" With that last, pleading admonition tossed to his lover, he left.

He nodded, quietly after him, before looking back down at Lex. "You told me a little about your powers already." Noncommittally. Stoically.

"Yeah, I did. I didn't tell you more about them because I haven't had a chance to develop them yet." Wave of his hand towards the chair in the room. "Which today? Turned out to be a very, very bad thing."

He didn't want to sit. But Lex waved towards the chair, and he had to sit down. He slid into it, quietly, and crossed his arms without a word.

"Nice statue impression." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. It just... came out. I haven't been too careful lately with the things I say, and that nearly killed Clark today."

"Have you ever known me to give a fuck about what you did or didn't mean to say?"

"Yeah, I have."

Whatever. "What do you want, Lex."

"Generally, the fact that I've said I'm sorry would tend to illustrate the fact I'm attempting to apologize."

Bruce wasn't so sure an apology would cut it this time, but he didn't say anything. He was a gentlemen, and gentlemen always apologized. "I accept your apology."

Another glare from under half-closed lids. "And I'm Betsy fuckin' Ross."

He would have told a joke, if he didn't feel like shit.

Lex shifted slightly in bed. "Come here."

Bruce didn't want to. At all. But again. Gentlemen's code. Fuck his dear father for pounding it into him. He climbed up, and walked towards the bed, with class and poise.

Lex waited until Bruce was standing by the bed, and he reached out, and tugged weakly, knowing there was no way in hell he could move Bruce if he didn't want to be moved.

Bruce had figured that's what he'd do. And damn himself for never being able to resist, even when he'd been hurt deeper than he could remember. He sank down on the edge of the bed, swallowing, watching him, and didn't speak.

Lex just leaned across the bed and hugged his friend. Tightly as he could, chin resting on Bruce's shoulder. "I love you, Bruce. I love you for worrying, and I love you for being concerned, and I even love you for thinking I don't have good sense because it makes me feel better knowing I have a Dark Knight watching my back. But trust me, for once, to know that I've found the person I'm meant to be with. I'm sorry I said that Clark was more human than you; it was a mean thing to say, and I didn't mean it. At all. I just... wanted you to back off a little. Not this much. I'm sorry."

Bruce didn't say anything, as Lex hugged him. After a minute… maybe two, he brought his hands up, and hugged him back. "I do trust you. I just don't trust you as far as I could throw. What do you know about him, really, truly, Lex? I know you've been through a lot together, but you have to think for yourself, your well being."

"I know everything about him, Bruce. From his date of birth from the way he got here, to how he speaks. I've written a paper on his language--our language, now--and we've gone through testing to make sure that his biology isn't harmful to mine. He's had my child. I've met his father." He pointed to the corner of the room, where there was a tablecloth over what looked like a high table beside their dresser. "You have to realize, my well-being depends on Clark's. As long as he is happy, as long as he and I are together, we will both be well."

He nodded. Just… didn't say anything else other than that, as he let him go. "I don't trust him to keep you safe."

Little click in Lex's head. "Isn't that what Mr. West is here for?" he asked softly.

Fuuuu--UUUU--uuuck! "Walter West, the third."

"Mmmm." Lex leaned back against the pillows. "Interesting character, your Mr. West."

"The Flash." Nod.

Lex arched one brow. "And this means what to me, exactly?"

"You've been living in Smallville too long." Bruce answered, quietly. "The Flash. Fastest human alive."

"Sounds like I have." He took Bruce's hand in his. "You know that I'll tell Clark about Mr. West."

"I know." But that was all he said. And he was wishy-washy on Lex touching him, but he didn't pull away.

"Are we going to be okay?"

He nodded, slightly. "I hope so." Pause. "It was a really shitty thing, what you said."

"Yeah, it was." Lex looked down. "I was scared. I was afraid you would hurt Clark, afraid that you'd take me away no matter what I said. It's not an excuse... it's just why."

He didn't have to ask if Lex believed it or not, that he was inhuman. He knew the truth. "I wouldn't hurt Clark. He's just a kid. Id take you away, if he hurt you. I thought… he'd hurt you."

"I don't believe it," Lex clarified, squeezing Bruce's hand. "I know you too well to believe it." A tired sigh. "No... I was the one who hurt him, this time. We... we were fighting. Arguing. I had said something thoughtless, and we were fighting. He asked what had I lied to him about... I lost control. This ability, whatever it is, I lost control of it. I was just... I couldn't stop it, and it was shoving every feeling and every memory I ever had inside Clark's head."

Bruce couldn't find it in himself to feel empathy, so he just nodded. "What did you do, to get it to stop?"

"I don't... really know. I just... made it stop. I shoved it down in my mind, as hard as I could, when I saw what it was doing to him. He... he almost fainted. He couldn't talk."

"Is he alright now?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I think he's scared, too, and sad, and upset because of what he saw in my head. He wouldn't talk on the way home, but then I got the call about Chloe. And I... did whatever I did." Little shrug as he rubbed his temples. "Don't know how I did it. I just... told her body that it wasn't going to miscarry the baby, that it was just a cramp. I could feel her body twitching and seizing, and I just made it stop. After that... I think I passed out, and then woke up with you two bulling at each other."

A slight nod. "You saved her life. You should be proud of yourself." Quietly said.

"I am. I'm glad she's okay. I'm glad her baby's okay. No matter how much I envy her... I don't want anything to happen to her." He frowned. "What?"

"Nothing. I'm happy you and Chloe are doing okay. Your power seems to be a very useful tool." He nodded, and looked up at the door. "I should go. Your bath sounds ready."

"It's been ready for the last three minutes; Clark told me," he said softly. "I don't... I don't want you to go if... there's still something you want to say."

"You know me. I just need to brood for a while." He shrugged his shoulder, and climbed to his feet. "A lots been going on."

"Bruce..." Lex sighed. "Please. Don't go with unhealthy shit still here."

"Just been that kind of day, Lex." Bruce answered, quietly. "And right now isn't the time to talk about it."

Quiet sigh. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Saving babies and nearly blowing your boyfriend's head up kind of takes priority." He stood. "Take care of yourself."

"If you'll let me sound my age for a minute... this fucking sucks." Lex glared.

"Yeah. It does."

"So make it un-suck." Lex blinked. "I must be worse off than I thought if I just said that sentence."

"You were right. That's all." he shrugged a shoulder, slightly. "I am inhuman. I pushed everyone I love away. I made... my fucking lover leave me. I know you meant it when you said it… you wouldn't have said it, otherwise. I know you, so don't try and give me all that 'no its not' bullshit."

Lex patted the bed again. "Down. Let Dr. Luthor have a crack at that dark psyche of yours."

He didn't want to, but there came that damn politeness thing again. DAMNIT. He sat down, hating this feeling he was having right now, pride swallowed dark in his throat, and he only hated it more.

Lex leaned over, wrapped his arms around Bruce from behind and laid down, which meant either Bruce laid down or Lex sat back up. "Now. Lay down. And listen to me, when I say this for the umpteenth time. I. Didn't. Mean it. I was scared, I was trying to push you away to protect Clark and myself, and I knew that would be the thing to do it. No, it wasn't a conscious thought of, Oh, I'm going to set out and destroy my best friend kind of thing, but you get the general idea."

"It doesn't matter. You've thought it before. It wouldn't just pop out for no reason." He answered, quietly, because he found himself laying down, and hated it. Hated it. "If I weren't a gentlemen, I'd be out of here."

"And if I had the energy right now, I'd shake you for thinking that I, of all people, would think that of you."

"People surprise you. I shouldn't have let my guard down."

"And if I thought you meant that, I'd have nothing more to do with you. Ever." Lex tightened his arms around Bruce. "But I know you're hurt, and trying not to be. And I know you're saying this to rationalize it out, because that's you."

"Fuck you. You don't know me." Lies. All of it. No one, not even Dick, knew him better. It hurt, because this person who he loved so much... "You said what I never thought you'd ever tell me. Even for Dick I wouldn't have told you something like that."

Lex tightened his grip again, as much as he could. "Bruce... am I holding you, right now?"

"Yes." Quietly.

"And am I fighting you, every step of the way, to apologize and try to make you see that I didn't mean it, and that I love you?"

"Yes." Even more quietly.

"And after all this is taken into consideration, you still think I meant it, or believe it, something I said in anger and fear?"

"I don't know what to think. I love you beyond words." He didn't know if he could forgive and forget, just like that. The shock of the pain was too bright, and too new. "I never thought you would."

"I never thought you'd try, twice, to take me away from the person I love, and will spend the rest of my life with, either." Lex kissed Bruce's cheek softly.

He closed his eyes for a moment. "I didn't… want you to get hurt. I can't.." Live without you on this earth. "live knowing I can't help." But he just shook his head. "I should go. You need to bathe, and I need to go home."

Lex kissed him again. "I heard what you thought. I know, Bruce. I know. Why in God's name do you think I am fighting for you now?"

"I don't know." But he did. He just wasn't in the mood for this today. He was so far deep in his usual depression that it scared even him. "I just need to get home."

"Time was, you would have been home with me." Lex stroked his hand. "I know why you're not. But do you really have to run away?"

"Because this isn't my home, Lex. Not right now. Its not my home, at all. I need to go to mine, and I need to patrol, before the night is over." Was all he said. He wasn't letting tonight go easily, because he wasn't the type to do so, and he rose to his feet, straightening his coat slightly.

"You're going to hold this against me," Lex said softly. "But that's who you are," he said softly. "At least I can tell myself I tried." He blinked softly. "Clark?" he called out. "Can you help me into the bathroom?"

He couldn't explain the mood he was in, and he couldn't feel bad. At all. He couldn't feel anything, actually, he was numb with fatigue and emotional distress. Life sucked ass. He was just so fucking depressed. So much so that he didn't want to be alone, and he looked down at Lex, sadly.

Lex looked up at his friend. "Bruce... just tell me. I'll do anything I can, and despite the fact that yes, I am a mind reader, the fact is I don't pry past the surface. So you have to tell me. what do you need?"

"A new life. No problems, no guilt, no responsibility. I'm twenty seven, and I feel like I'm going on eighty seven."

Lex shook his head. "I can't give you that. I can understand you, because you and I have both had to grow up too fast, you even more than me. Bruce... whatever you're feeling guilty about... don't. I know it's easy for me to say, but I know what kind of a good man you are. you've got nothing to feel guilty about."

"I'm not a good man. I drove Dick away. I drove him away even today. I don't know why I try to have relationships. I'm better left off alone." It made him uncomfortable to talk so much when he was feeling this way, so he fell silent, quiet, and sat on the edge of the bed again.

"You told him to go wait in the car."

He looked up, without understanding... then when he realized his friend was telling a joke, he did something he hadn't, in all of his damn twenty seven years done.

He burst into tears.

Lex just leaned forward again and wrapped Bruce up in his arms and laid him down on the bed. Took all his energy to drag Bruce onto his side but got it done, and he let Bruce's face hide against his shoulder as he rocked him quietly, stroking through his hair, and kissing his temple softly. "Jesus, Bruce. You should have come to me before this."

He didn't know what the FUCK was wrong with him. He just wept, hard, bitter tears that felt like abrasives ripping out of his throat, and wrapped his arms around Lex's shoulders and waist, hugging him close. Didn't understand. Didn't even want to understand. He was Bruce fuckin WAYNE. He didn't CRY! And yet.

He tried to stop, but with each hiccupping sob it brought on more, blurring his vision and making him grasp Lex all the tighter. He didn't understand, not since that afternoon, when everything had dulled. It still felt dull and numb, even now, and he didn't understand why.

"It's okay. I've got you, Bruce. I'm not going to let you do this alone." He rested his chin on Bruce's head gently. "I'm here." Took a lot to rock a man of Bruce's bulk but he did it, and reassured Clark quietly that they were fine. "You want me to have Dick come up?"

He just shook his head. He didn't want anyone, not even Lex, witnessing this utter shame, but he didn't have a choice, because every time he tried to pull away… he found himself wrapping tighter around Lex's slender frame, and holding on tightly. "I w-wish, I wish I were a better man, I wish… I were a better man."

"No... no." Lex held his friend tightly. "You are a better man. You're a better man than a lot of people in this world, Bruce. You're a better man than me. Don't be so down on yourself. You are a good man; you love. You feel. You fight for what's good, and what's right."

Bruce just looked away, silently. He was quiet, unspeaking, unfeeling, in Lex's arms. The tears dried up after a few minutes, and he just lay there, sighs shaking his frame, his big frame, quietly.

When he spoke, his voice was quiet, and normal, not the terrified cries of a helpless man. "Will you let Wally work for you, Lex? For my state of mind."

"Yeah. I will. I'll make him my assistant; I needed to hire one anyway, and Wally seems... interesting enough. And if him being here is going to make you feel better, then I might as well get some use out of him." Tight squeeze. "Bruce... I worry about you."

He shook his head, just a little, and didn't say anything else as he sat up. "I'm sorry, about all of this, Lex."

"No... don't be. Okay... actually, check that. Yeah. We both have things to be sorry for tonight."

He nodded, quietly, and rose to his feet. His eyes were rimmed with read, though the streaks on his face had dulled, and he closed his eyes for a moment. "I'll see you."

"Bruce... please. You know... you know what you mean to me." Lex held his hand out for a minute. "Don't... don't be afraid. Don't hold this against me, because I was stupid and tried to back you off."

Bruce took the held out hand, quietly, and squeezed softly before letting go. "I should, but I can't. But I do need to go, I have to go into the office early tomorrow."

Lex smiled softly at that. "If you don't call me tomorrow, I'm calling you."

"I'll expect your call." Bruce answered, quietly, as he pulled his jacket back on. "Tell your dads I said hello."

"I will, when I talk to them. They're due to check in... at some point." Soft snicker. "Dom's gone home, so Christ only knows when he'll get away. You've met his family, you know what I mean." Lex moved to sit up on the edge of the bed. "Bruce... I mean it. I love you. You are my closest friend... ever."

"I love you too." He answered, softly. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." And with that he swept out of the room, and was gone.

Lex just flopped back across the bed, and stared at the ceiling. "Clark?" he called out softly. "I ever tell you how glad I am you're not stubborn?"

"Am stubborn, as a mule." Clark called back, and finally emerged from the bathroom, standing in the doorway for a minute. "How are you feeling?"

Lex gestured to the now-empty doorway. "You're not half as stubborn as that old bastard, and I'm glad of it." He looked at his lover from his upside down perspective. "I'd feel better if I knew you were okay."

"I am." Clark said quietly, gently, as he walked across the room to his plopped lover. "I'm alright. We should talk about what happened today. I have the bath waiting... can I join it with you?"

"I was hoping you would." Lex reached out for Clark. "We should talk. I'm sorry."

"Its okay. I shouldn't... have blown up. I was just still so upset over Mar-El." Clark gently, ever so gently, lifted his lover into his arms. "I shouldn't have blown up. I love it that you take care of me, and protect me. I just wish... you wouldn't feel like you have to keep things from me."

Lex's arms slid around Clark's neck, and he held on tightly. "I shouldn't... I don't know what happened to me that I exploded like that." He rubbed his face against Clark's neck. "I don't keep things from you... I just... don't like hurting you with them. I try... I try to find the easiest way to say things."

"You don't always have to. Be honest with me… you can't go wrong with honesty." Clark whispered, softly, and gently, lovingly, kissed his lovers cheek. He set him down in front of the bathtub that smelled like pine and lavender, and quickly, gently, undressed both himself and Lex. And when the last stitch had been removed, Clark lifted his lover into the tub, and slid in, in front of him, and swallowed quietly. "It scared me. I didn't know... know why you were so angry at me. Why you were so angry period. Like you hate, hate everything so much. It made me… very sad."

Lex sighed softly in pleasure as he was eased into the warm water, and realized just how tired he'd been. "It wasn't... it wasn't you. I just... I hated the world for a while there, that would give me, give us a gift like that, and then take it away so brutally while giving it to everyone else." He wrapped his arms and legs around Clark and plastered himself against Clark's back. "I'm not angry at you, baby. At all."

His throat tightened as he swallowed, and he nodded, quietly. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Be honest with me. Please."

"Don't freak out, and take this the wrong way, and go off the handle, Lex."

"I have a feeling I'm not going to like this," Lex said softly. "But I won't. I won't go off the handle, or anything else."

"You scared me." Clark said it, quietly, into his lovers skin gently, as he tugged him a little closer, to make sure he didn't bolt. "You scared me, and not just a little. I didn't know… you could do that, and... it scared me. But... at the same time it scared me...it made me so proud of you, because you can defend yourself, take care of yourself. And I love you."

Lex's body sagged slightly. "That's all?" His voice was a little hysterical. "I thought you were going to say something like, no matter how much you loved me, it wasn't going to work." Soft pant of relief. "I scared me, too." He dropped his head on Clark's shoulder. "I didn't know I could do that, and it scared the hell out of me cause I thought it hurt you."

"Lex... let me make something clear to you." Clark whispered, quietly. "You're the father of my dead son, you are my aushna', and our souls are so intertwined now that I don't know where you end and I begin. I love you. I love you, I adore you, I worship the ground you stand on, and if I could pull it, I'd make sure you lived a life of luxury and laziness for the rest of your life. I love you, Lex. I won't leave you. Leaving you is leaving me." Quiet, for a moment, as he kissed Lex's throat, tenderly. "You didn't hurt me. But I think you hurt your dad, and Dominic, and Bruce and our sha'nauch. They're connected to you, and through you, they were blown away."

Lex froze. Cold wash of dread and horror slid over his body, as though he'd just been doused in ice. "W--what do you mean?"

Clark felt it, but it had to be said, and he winced for his lover as he held him close. "I felt it, Lex. When I was back in my own senses... Dominic and your dad, they were.... Dominic was crying, and your dad, he was so angry, angry at nothing. Bruce... isn't it strange, that he came to you so distressed, and he let something you say, something that wouldn't normally get to him, upset him so much?"

"Ch--Chloe," Lex choked out.

Clark just... closed his eyes. The pain his lover was feeling was extreme, and Clark hated it, hated that it was his fault. But he nodded, softly, biting his lip tightly as he held his lover closer. "Baby, I'm sorry. I know how you feel, exactly how you feel. I'm so sorry."

"Oh my God. Oh my God, what have I done? What have I done to her, what did I do?" He shuddered against Clark's back, against his chest. "What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything, baby." Clark answered, quietly, as his thumb gently stroked over tender fingertips and warm hands. "You have powers now, Lex. They're hard to control... I understand what it is, to have powers. You make mistakes... all you can do is fix them, baby."

"But I did. I did. I... Chloe. Bruce. My dad, Dominic... I don't... oh my God. I could... I almost killed Chloe's baby. I almost killed Chloe." His body was icy cold with shock, and he was shivering.

"You didn't. You didn't hurt them, Lex." But as soon as the shakes started to go through him, Clark rose out of the tub. A soak was all they were getting tonight, which would do. He climbed up out of the bath and wrapped his lover in a thick cloth towel. Clark, above everyone else, understood, understood perfectly, and he carefully, gently, kept his lover cozy in the cotton as he walked out into their bedroom. The puppies were asleep in the room joining theirs, but he could see through a crack he'd left open in the door, a big soulful eye looking at him. He just winced, at whichever puppy it was, and lay his lover out on the bed. Didn't bother to do more than dry him, he tucked him under blankets and sheets, carefully cozying him in.

And spoke, only a few words.

"My first time was my mom. I lost control... I hit her, trying to keep her away, and broke her jaw."

Samson padded quietly into the room, and jumped up on the bed. He wasn't rambunctious, like he usually was, and instead, just flopped down and put his head on Lex's knee, looking up.

Lex was still shaking as he curled up close to his lover. "I don't want this. I don't want it, Clark. Take it. It's yours. I don't want it in me anymore!" His hands started scratching at his arms, then up towards his head. "Take it OUT!"

"Baby." the word was full of meaning as Clark gently pulled his lovers hands from his head, and instead put them on Clarks own chest, gently holding him close. "Its not mine, Lex. Its yours, all you."

"I don't want it, Clark." He clung. "I took your powers, you can take mine. Please. I shouldn't have this!!"

"Yes. You should." Clark whispered, very softly, and gently, gently, stroked his lovers back and head, as he closed his eyes. "Yes you should, Lex. You're the love of my life. You're strong. You can control it… you're just so new. Think of it... a baby, taking its first steps. You're bound to fail, make mistakes, and hit your head. But when you've got it… you've got it for life. Same thing, baby, the exact same thing. Please believe me."

Lex shuddered. "I don't care. I don't want it, Clark. I don't. I don't want to use it. I'm not going to use it, not when it hurts people I care about it. Just... take it, please. Get rid of it."

"I can't, Lex... and even if I could, I wouldn't want to. They're a gift, Lex. One you don't understand yet, but you will. You gotta give it time." Clark answered, quietly.

"I don't want to give it time." Lex's voice was a little desperate. "Dammit, I don't. I don't want it, don't you get it? Not now!"

His heart fell, quietly. "I can't take them away, Lex. They're an integral part of who you are, and I won't destroy it, or you."

"You'd rather me destroy other people then?" He tightened his grip on Clark. "I'm scared of myself, Clark," he said again. "I'm scared of what I can do."

"Don't be." he whispered. "Don't be scared. I don't want you to destroy other people... but you have gifts now, Lex. You can't let yourself get down by one moment of weakness, no matter what."

"Yes, I can." He didn't look up. "I won't... I won't be a danger to the people I care about."

"Am I a danger to the people I care about?" Clark whispered, in counterpoint, as he gently stroked over silky skin.

"No. Because you're meant to have these things. You're strong enough to control them. I, obviously, am not."

"It's not about being strong. Its about conditioning your mind, Lex. And you're on the right track... you're a fast learner. You just deviated, baby." Clark stroked the rougher skin on his lovers jaw line. "Please, believe me."

"I wish I could." Lex shuddered. "But I almost killed two people today."

Clark closed his eyes. "I can't take them from you. I didn't give them to you... they came from within you. Don't... look at it like a curse. Its a gift, Lex."

Lex kept his face buried in Clark's shoulder. "I took yours, for a while. You can take mine."

"I won't." He whispered, and kissed his lovers shoulder and cheek. "I won't. I love you, Lex." He just… turned and put the light out, cuddling Lex, and Samson, in closer. "Go to sleep, baby."

"I love you, Clark." Lex barely let go of his lover enough to let him turn the light out, and then he crawled in closer and clung to him. "Please... make this go away."

"It will go away. Go to sleep now, Lex." Murmured with a kiss. "Go to sleep now, and everything will be okay when you wake up."

Lex was slightly relieved. "Good." He let his body relax, just a little. Because Clark said it was going to be okay. And it would be, because Clark didn't lie to him. He relaxed, as much as he could--not much, and tried to sleep.

"I love you, aushna'. I'm so sorry for this burden." Kisses gently peppered a naked face. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," Lex whispered softly. "You didn't give this to me."

"Its my fault because I love you for having it." Clark answered, just as quietly, fingertips gently moving over and over a naked skull. "Sleep."

"That's not your fault." A little yawn. "You're not to blame for loving me." Little forehead wrinkle, but it was smoothed by Clark's stroking fingertips. "S'not your fault... Ima freak." Nearly incomprehensible mutter.

"If you're a freak, than I must be Ripley's Tent, bearded lady and all." Clark answered, as he pressed his lips to his Lex's. "Sleep. Sleep baby… rest."

"Not... freak. My baby." Another huge yawn, and his body, already exhausted from his earlier expenditure with Chloe, and then just talking to Bruce, shut down, and Lex was deeply asleep, bordering on unconscious.

One hand reached down for the warm mass sitting on his leg, and he dragged the little puppy up in his sleep, cuddling it it beside his cheek, and tucking him between their bodies.

Clark's lips curved, the smallest bit, with a smile he didn't feel. "Lucky, Samson." A kiss to a fluffy puppy head...then a kiss to Lex's forehead, and after making positive he was asleep, he carefully rolled from the sheets.

He slipped, walking quietly as he could into the closet, where he tugged on floppy jeans, t-shirt, and running shoes. His wallet was pressed into his back pocket, wild hair marginally combed, and after another look at his lover, carefully slipped out of the room.

He was down and out of the mansion in seconds, running at full tilt towards the hospital.

=-=-=

Whitney was sitting in the hospital bed beside his girlfriend. When they'd brought her in she'd been mildly sedated, and after everyone had left, they'd given it to her again, but now, it was wearing off, and he was holding her hand tightly in his, rubbing her fingers between his hands and kissing her wrist softly, silently urging her to wake up.

Chloe was awake. Had been awake for a while, but now, in this blissful lull where no one was expecting her to respond, she could think. She… had almost lost her baby, of that she was sure. She had been bloody, though most of the trip and the hospital examination was a blur.

They had filled her with gauze, which not only hurt, but it gave her the most uncomfortable full feeling. And she was Chloe, she liked being full. She was on medicine, she had an IV, and her ashimel had saved her life.

She didn't know how. Didn't know what. All she knew was that she'd felt him, touching her, holding her baby close, convincing him not to come out, not to die. He had saved her baby's life, and he had saved her life.

And she couldn't wrap her brain around HOW he'd done it.

Whitney leaned over the beside and kissed her temple. "You awake, baby?" His fingers were laced tightly through hers, rubbing her hand gently as he held it, needing the contact. He... was terrified. That he was going to lose her, going to lose her and the baby both, and he just... was so, so scared.

She nodded, just a little, and opened her eyes. Things were a little blurry for a minute, as she focused, but then...Whitney. "Heey." She murmured, quietly, and swallowed as she felt his hand in hers.

"Hey, baby girl." Wide smile that he absolutely didn't feel. "How you feeling? Want me to call somebody for you? Doctor, nurse?"

"My dad?" She whispered, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again. Alright. The gauze inside her had to go. "And... doctor. How... how's the baby?"

"The baby's just fine," Whitney answered back, reaching over to hit the call button. "Doc... Billy, I think his name was, couldn't hope to hit his last name, but he came in and took a look, and the baby's just fine. Still safe inside, and everything, right where he should be."

"Oh...oh, that's good." Her voice cracked on the last word, in her joy, and her hand with the IV came up to press against her lips. Her baby was okay. Her baby was okay. This? this was very good, and she felt her eyes fill up even as she tried not to. "Oh, thank God."

"You're okay too; the doctors have taken a look at you, and they said you're okay, too." He squeezed her hand. "They're not sure yet why. It happened. They want you to stay here, in case it happens again, because all the blood..." His voice trailed off. "They said you should have lost the baby."

"Lex." But it was all she managed to get out before the doctor came in.

Billy smiled, gently, at the very young parents sitting in front of him, even as he nodded for his nurse to get the things he needed. "Hi, there, Ms. Sullivan, Mr. Fordman. How are we feeling?"

She swallowed, softly, as she looked up at the doctor. "Like a bed sheet got caught where it shouldn't have."

A little wince. "I know. Sorry about that… we wanted to keep the uterine walls as stable as possible, and keep any fluids from leaking all over the place. I'm going to do an examination and see how you are... would you like Mr. Fordman to stay, as I presume he's the father?"

"He is." Chloe answered, and shifted slightly. "I'd like him to stay, please. My dad...?"

"Sitting right outside. Would you like him in here, too?"

"Please." She whispered.

"I'll get him." Whitney jumped out of his seat and went to the door. "Mr. Sullivan?"

Gabe had been leaning against the wall, not sure what to expect. "Whitney!"

"It's okay. She's awake, and the doctor's having a look now. She wants you to come in, and be here. Come on." He nodded. "She's asking for you."

Gabe nodded, and pushed off the wall, crossing the hall in a few steps. He'd been slightly worried, given the distance between himself and his daughter lately, that Chloe wouldn't want him around, and he went to the other side of the bed from where the doctor was standing. "Hey, baby," he said softly, pushing the hair off her forehead. She looked... so pale, and so tired, and he was still so scared for his baby girl, his daughter.

Whitney followed Mr. Sullivan in, and he took his place on the other side of the bed, up near Chloe's head so he didn't get in the doctor's way. "We're here, baby."

She reached for his hand, tightly, and squeezed it as hard as she could. She had seen him, a little worried of what to expect almost, and with her squeezing his hand she hoped he knew it was okay. Yeah, they'd hated one another recently, but, she loved him, and he was her dad. She squeezed, all the harder, and hoped to god he'd stay. "Hi."

"Alright... Abigail, close the door and draw she shades, please." Dr. Billy asked of his nurse, as he snapped on new gloves, his little tray with what he needed beside him, and a bio hazard bag beside him, tucked into a trash can. "Okay, Chloe. I'm going to take a look see, alright? I just want you to breathe, honey."

"Hey, baby girl." Gabe kissed her hand. "How you feeling, honey?" He was squeezing her hand back just as hard, but shushed when the doctor started talking.

Whitney held her other hand. "There we are. He's not going to hurt you, you're going to be okay, baby. I promise."

"It'll be alright. We're just going to take everything out, okay?" He paused. "Are you sure you want both of them here?"

Chloe just nodded, tightly. Yes. Yes, she wanted both men who she loved, dearly, right here.

"Alright." Dr. Billy carefully warmed the stirrups with hot towels his nurse brought, and lifted each of Chloe's legs, after tucking the blanket back, into them. He spread them, just enough, and slipped between them, stool coming with him. "Looks like the inflammation is down... that's good. You dilated, sweetie, to four inches, though it looks like everything's like normal again." He carefully, very carefully, began to remove the sterile gauze. It wasn't soaked with blood, as he'd expected… it was normal. "There's minimal bleeding, Chloe. That means that whatever triggered this wasn't you. Was there anything you took... anything you drank?"

Chloe shook her head, tightly. "I don't smoke, do drugs, or drink." A moment. "Or, I haven't drunk since I became pregnant."

He smiled, but it was only a little smile, as he continued his examination.

Didn't even care. Didn't care that she'd drank before, didn't care, just as long as she was okay. "She's going to be okay, isn't she, Doc?" Gabe's grip on her hand was tight. "Whatever it takes, I want her to be okay." He smiled softly down at her. "She's my baby girl."

Whitney nodded. "Yeah. She's been really good. No drinking, nothing like that, she's been eating right, taking the vitamins and things... nothing. I don't know what happened, but it's not her."

Dr. Billy nodded, as he carefully extracted piece by piece of gauze, inspecting it... keeping a few samples to be sent to the lab as he worked. "That's the strangest thing. She's in perfect health. The last time I saw her, there were no complications whatsoever, none at all. This is very strange, and very out of the blue, but that's baby-having for you." He carefully, carefully, took each piece of gauze out, and began to examination. "Alright Chloe, I'm going to slide my fingers inside of you, okay? I need to check for tears, and to see if everything is where its suppose to be. I'm going to press on your tummy at the same time... tell me if it feels strange, or hurts, okay?"

She nodded, throat bobbing. "Okay."

He began his examination, and prodded and poked at her stomach, in different areas, his mind working fast to fill in the mental questionnaire in his head. As everything checked out though he found it even more strange that she had almost bled to death not ten hours before, and frowned as he finally slipped his hands from her. "You seem to be alright, sweetie. No complications that I see, and your X-Rays have all come back normal." He tipped his head, as he snapped off the gloves. "We're going to keep you here, overnight. Tomorrow morning you'll be able to go home, but listen, carefully, all of you. Chloe needs to be off her feet as much as possible. Rest, relaxation. Bubble baths, naps, I'm talking the full on vacationing relaxation. Okay? I don't want you to jostle too much... if it feels strange, don't do it." His eyes shifted to Whitney... then to Gabe, with a slight wince. "Gabe, could you excuse us? Please? I'd like to go over some personal things with Whitney and Chloe, if I may."

Whitney tightened his grip on Chloe's hand. "It's okay. Mr. Sullivan, you can stay. I mean... you know everything anyway... not like we won't tell you ourselves later." He looked up at the doctor. "Please... it's okay with me if he stays."

A sigh, and when Chloe nodded at him, Dr. Billy nodded. "For the next few weeks to a month, I don't want either of you to have sexual intercourse. In fact, if you can try, don't even get her aroused, alright?" He nodded at Whitney. "We want her uterine walls, and womb, to heal from this. And after month is through, we'll see how she's doing, and you might be able to return to a normal sex life for the rest of the pregnancy."

Whitney nodded. "You didn't have to tell me that, Doc. Already knew that wasn't happening." He squeezed her hand firmly. "Not gonna do anything that might put my Chloe in danger."

Gabe nodded. "We can do the relaxation." He looked up at the doctor. "Are there any kinds of bubble bath and things that we should stay away from? Anything that'll irritate or damage any of her skin?" Credit being a father for the way he could ask that without blushing.

"Stick to water based soaps... Ivory, Caress, Dove." He nodded, as he carefully brought Chloe's legs down from the stirrups, and covered her up again. "Any questions you have for me?"

Chloe nodded, tightly, her throat tight and constricted. "Is he going to be born okay?"

"Yes, he is." Dr. Billy nodded, firmly. "The Cat-scan showed me he's just fine. Growing at the normal rate, and though the umbilical cord suffered a little bit of damage, its healing, and he's just fine. No blood, no nothing. In another six months you both will be parents to a bouncing baby boy. That I can guarantee." He looked at the three of them. "I suggest, though, we leave Chloe in peace, and let her get some rest. She's had a hard day."

Whitney nodded at the getting rest part, but he held her hand tightly. "I was... can I stay in here? Until she falls asleep? I'll be quiet, I promise."

Gabe almost nodded, and then he got up. "Whitney... come on. The doctor's right, and we'll be waiting outside, when she wakes up again. I'll take you down to the cafeteria, and get you something to eat, and then we'll talk about a shower, okay?"

Dr. Billy nodded, softly. "She needs her rest, son. Go on with her father...I have Abigail keeping an extra close eye on her, so don't worry. Alright?" He smiled at Chloe, gently, already seeing that the drugs he'd had Abigail give her were already working. Her eyes were drooping. "Do you both need directing towards the Cafeteria? The food isn't all that great, but there's some great coffee."

Gabe shook his head. "Thanks, but I think we can find the way." Gabe put his arm around Whitney's shoulder. "Come on, son. We need to get you cleaned up. You look like you've been hit by a bus."

Whitney didn't have it in him to be sarcastic. "Thanks, Mr. Sullivan." Being called "son" by this man, that would soon be his father-in-law, touched him, and he swallowed down hard. "Okay, baby. We're going to go, and we'll be right outside if you need us, okay?" Quick kiss to her cheek.

"Mm. Hallway. Check." Muttered, quietly. She'd been falling asleep for about fifteen minutes, but now that her legs were down, and she was all snuggly in the thick blanket the doctor had brought her... yeah. Definitely wanting to sleep.

Dr. Billy smiled and nodded, before sweeping out of the room. And was just out the door when he nearly ran into a tall young man. "I'm sorry, can I help you?"

"Hi, I--Whitney." Clark bit his lip, tightly, maneuvering past the doctor to wrap his arms around Whitney's shoulders and hug him, tightly.

"Clark!" Whitney wrapped his arms around Clark's waist and just breathed deeply. "I'm so glad you're here. She's going to be okay. The doctor said so. She's okay, the baby's okay, and they're going to let her go home in the morning." All of it, muffled against Clark's shoulder.

"Uh...hey. 'm still'ere, y'know." Chloe muttered, and her sleepy glare turned into a sleepy smile of delight when Clark let go and took her outstretched fingers. "Hiya, farmboy."

"Hey, Chloe." Clark answered, softly, gazing up at Mr. Sullivan for a moment before back down.

Still holding Whitney's hand.

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask. It really, really was.

And then, he didn't. Because... he just. didn't. Want to know. He knew too much as it was already. No. More. He just nodded. "I'm glad you're here, Clark. See if you can get Whitney down to the cafeteria, for something to eat while I head home for a shower, and some clean clothes for me and Chloe, okay?"

Yeah. Clark realized Gabe was staring, and let go of Whitney's hand immediately, flushing softly as he kissed Chloe's forehead. "You okay? Lex is worried sick."

"'m kay." She murmured, smiling groggily at him. "I love Lex. Tell him."

She knew. Oh, what a relief. "He loves you too, but I'll tell him. Go to sleep, we'll be here, watching over you, sweetheart."

"Sleep good."

Whitney nodded at Mr. Sullivan. "I'll go, Mr. Sullivan, don't worry. Go on home, and when you get back, I'll go home for my shower." He moved closer to Clark, and just smiled. "I'm glad you're here," he muttered softly.

"We'll be here, taking care of her." Clark assured the older man, and he wanted so badly to kiss Whitney... couldn't, because Gabe would flip out, but he wanted to. Extremely, even as he found Whitney's hand again, and squeezed.

Whitney squeezed back, hard as he could, and stayed standing there, by Chloe's bedside.

Gabe just sighed. "All right, boys. I'm leaving my baby in your hands. Be good to her." He squeezed Whitney's shoulder once, and left the room, closing the door behind him, out of habit.

Clark lost it. He burst into tears, that had Chloe opening her eyes again, and wrapped his arms around Whitney's shoulders tightly, hugging him, kissing him frantically. "Almost lost my sha'nauch, almost lost my sha'nauch," And he was nearly hysterical with it. He'd kept a hold on himself, for his aushna's sake, but as soon as he knew, for certain, Lex was okay, he'd broken down, and now it was coming out. "Almost lost, almost lost you, I love you so much, I love you, so, so much."

Whitney's arms tightened on Clark, squeezing his waist and kissing his neck. "It's okay. We're all right, Clark. We're all right." He pushed and steered until Clark was standing with his back against the bedrails, and Whitney brought one of Chloe's hands up to rest on Clark's back. "It's okay, we're all right. I don't know how, but we're all right." Soft, soothing kisses, because if Clark lost it, he was going to.

"its kay." Chloe murmured, watching, groggily, her fingers gently wrapping around Clark's wrist. "Its kay. Alive."

"Almost weren't, almost were killed, almost, can't live without you, my sha'nauch, I love you so, I love you so." But even as he shook in Whitney's arms, fingers wrapped around Chloe's, the fear that they'd die slowly began to lessen. "its our fault. Today, for everything, for hurting over Mar, for our argument, for Lex losing control, for Chloe almost losing the baby."

Whitney just shook his head. "You're babbling... sssh. It's okay. Chloe's alive, the baby's okay, we're all okay. Even Shayla's okay, she's home doing... fuck, I don't know what. But we're all okay. See? We're all here."

"I know." Clark swallowed, hard, and knocked his head gently against Whitney's. "Lex lost control. That's why it happened. He lost control because we were fighting. He's torn up... Chloe, he didn't mean to hurt you." Clark turned his eyes down at his precious ashikana. "He loves you so much. He did everything he could to save you, and the baby."

"I know." Chloe whispered, even as her eyes drooped. "Talk later. Sleep."

Whitney blinked. Didn't believe what he was hearing, and he ran his hands up Clark's back. "Come on. She needs to rest. Come on. We need to eat. Remember? Cafeteria, coffee? Come on." He started pulling Clark towards the door. "Let her rest, Clark, and you can tell me what happened."

He nodded, quietly, and with one soft kiss for Chloe's head, left with Whitney. He rubbed the tear streaks from his face, his heart still shuddering with each beat, because today, in all honesty, had sucked some truly royal ass. He closed his eyes, calming himself as much as he could, and opened them to find Whitney's hand.

Whitney gripped Clark's hand as tightly as he could, not giving a fuck about public places and glaring harshly at the one orderly who'd dared to whisper as they'd passed until he cringed. Down three hallways, two staircases, and another right, and they were on the cafeteria floor. "Come on, here we go." Whitney kept a tight grip on Clark, as though afraid he'd melt away. "Don't lose it, baby, because if you lose it, I'm going to, and we're going to make one hell of a scene."

He knew. That's why he wasn't sobbing, or screaming, or kissing Whitney breathless. So he just squeezed and held on as tightly as he could to Whitney's hand, until they made it to the Cafeteria. He couldn't eat, or drink, anything, because puking was not on the agenda today, thank you. He'd done everything but barf, and he'd be damned if he would.

Whitney bought two cups of coffee from the machine in the corner, and then dropped in more change and bought a candy bar and a sticky cinnamon bun, and handed a coffee and the candy bar to Clark, and kept the bun for himself. "Let's sit outside." Mainly because nobody else was on the small, bricked in terrace, and it was, at best, semi-private.

Clark took it, automatically, and reminded himself in the back of his mind to pay Whitney back for it as they stepped out. It was cool, but not cold by any regard, and Clark pointed at a quiet table lit with bright lights in the back... not knowing this was where Lionel and Dominic had fought not so many months before.

"Yeah." Whitney nodded and beelined for the furthest table, the bright light throwing a bit of shadow in the corner where the table was settled, and the cool, fresh air was a welcome change from the stale re-circulated air from the hospital vents.

Clark sat down, carefully, his back facing the cafeteria, and grasped his ashimels hand even tighter, bringing it to his lips. "I love you. Christ. Whitney, Jesus."

"I know." Whitney's hand was white-knuckled as he held Clark's hand tightly, and he sighed. "I was so scared. Scared I was going to lose her, that I was going to lose them both."

Clark nodded, tightly, his throat burning with the tense hold he had on it. "I'm so glad you're okay. You don't even know." He brought Whitney's fingers to his lips again, kissing softly, softly, then kissing him, and all he wanted to do was hold him close and have him, so he'd know he was loved. "I love you. I love you, and I love Chloe, and I love your baby. You're my family, and I almost lost you."

"You didn't lose us." Whitney leaned forward and kissed Clark over the table, softly, carefully, hands sliding through his hair. "We're here, baby. You're not going to lose us; you're always going to have us around. We are your family."

"I know. I know." Clark kissed back, softly, but because he'd lose control of himself, pulled away before he could kiss him too much, too deeply. "What did the doctor say?"

"That they're amazed she's back to normal, what with all the blood that she lost, but that she and the baby are fine. They think it's stress, and she gets the full-out Queen treatment for the next month or so, and that they don't want her to have sex."

"No sex, queen treatment. Sounds just like what we'd do anyway." Clark answered, as he squeezed Whitney's hand. "Do you want to come stay with Lex and I, you and Chloe?"

Whitney blinked. "Me? Yes. I'm not sure about Chloe, I don't know if her dad would let her." He squeezed Clark's hand back. "What... what were you saying, in the room? About Lex?"

"Lex..." he bit hit lip for a moment, as he fought for a way to explain. "Lex lost control of his powers. He... he has some mind powers I helped wake up. Levitation, mind reading, stuff like that. He... lost control of himself, and everyone he's linked to got hit with a wave of emotion that nearly made me pass out. That's... that's why Chloe might have gone into false labor."

Whitney blinked. "He... he did this to her?"

"I don't know. I think she was already starting to lose the baby... and it only... made it worse." Fuck! FUCK!

"You... think? You think she was already starting?" Whitney had very carefully let go of the flimsy cup before he burned himself as he crumpled it. "Lex... Lex did this?" Couldn't wrap his mind around it, but he was angry.

"No." Clarks voice was hoarse and heavy. "He saved her life, Whitney, he saved her."

"After putting it in danger!" Took everything he had not to yell it.

"Its not...like that, its not like that at all." Clark whispered, horrified by what was happening. "We were fighting, and he lost control, Whitney."

"Lost... lost control." Hands flat on the table now, both of them. "Fucking lost control and nearly killed my girlfriend and our baby!!" Gritted teeth.

"Its not… its not like that, Whitney, he lost control, he couldn't help it! He's only had them for a month, please, please you can't..." Get angry? Yes, he could, and Clark looked at him, helpless. "He loves you both as much as I do. Please, you have to know, it was an accident."

"An accident that never should have happened!" Whitney hissed. "He should never have lost control that much! He should know that, fuck! You don't! He should fucking know what it could cost!"

Oh, God. "He didn't know he could even do it, Whitney, he didn't know what it would do, didn't even know we were connected to all of you in that way. Please, don't be angry, he didn't mean to do it."

"Do I look like I give a shit?" he growled. "I don't care if he meant to do it or not, he almost killed my baby, and he almost killed Chloe."

Clark looked away, down at the table. "I know he did. He's sorry, and I'm sorry. We should have never... connected to you both, like this, its what hurt you and almost cost Chloe her life. I'm sorry, Whitney. There's nothing else I can say. We should have never argued, never anything. I'm just… I'm so sorry."

Whitney sighed. "It's not your fault, Clark. You didn't have anything to do with this. People fight. That's normal. But special people like you? They can't afford to have a little temper tantrum like this, not when it means someone else's LIFE is at stake. You understand that; it's about fucking time your boyfriend does too." Little growl. "I don't want to see him around Chloe."

The words struck at his heart, and he looked down. "He didn't know, Whitney. He's new at it, and he didn't know. I know that means jack shit to you right now, but he couldn't have known, nothing like this has ever happened before." A moment. "Lex is my aushna', Whitney. Watch where you step. You are our sha'nauch, and he will see her if he chooses to."

"Only if he goes through me. I know who and what he is to you, I know what he is to me, and right now, I don't want the man who almost killed my girlfriend anywhere near her."

His throat tightened uncontrollably. So he climbed to his feet, and just swallowed. "Give Chloe my regards."

"I will." He stood up too, and tossed the untouched coffee into the trash, and left the snacks sitting on the table. No way he wanted anything to eat, not after that.

Clark just turned and walked out of the small terrace, through the Cafeteria, and out into the hall. He felt like he'd just been punched in the gut, because this was as much his fault as it was Lex's. Whitney... Clark loved his ashimel, very deeply, but he had treated Chloe like shit for almost two months, when Lex had been there. And Clark didn't know if it was right, that Whitney was doing this, but he couldn't change his mind. So he just rubbed his face with his fingers softly, feeling like a part of him was estranged to him, and got into the elevator, to bring him back to the bottom floor.

Whitney watched Clark leave, growing sadness and pain inside him because his friend and his ashimel was walking away angry, but he wasn't going to budge. He might not have been able to protect Chloe before, but now he could, and he would.

The anger was hard, and he wanted to hit something. Wanted to pound it into submission, but didn't. Just threw the rest of the snacks into the trash after squashing the bun into goo with an angry twist of his wrist. He took a second elevator back up, to his girlfriend's room.

 

-fin-

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