The Memoirs

Clark was stewing. In fact, he'd go as far as saying he was positively swimming in morose guilt and anger and… well, no, more of the guilt, but he didn't care. He sniffled, crossing his arms across his chest, and glared at the fish tank, where enormous fish were swimming lazily, in the upstairs library across from Lionel and Dominic's rooms. Clark had come to check on Dominic, who had fallen asleep after rolling onto his belly, and he had plunked in the first available room.

And brooded.

Downstairs, Lex could match his aushna' brood for brood. Sulk for sulk, actually, and if one cared to be petty, pout for pout.

Or would have, if he could have thought around the mind-numbing ache in his balls. The orgasm of before had done very little to soothe the ache, and if Lex were very very still and very very quiet, he would swear that he could hear them distendening every second, growing heavier, larger, and more painful.

And he was very, very much not in the mood right now.

Neither was Clark. But his stomach was grumbling, loudly, the gnawing hunger in it making him rub at it painfully, and sniffle, a little. He and Lex had had their petty little argument, and now… well. Clark rose to his feet, swallowing down his pride like a particularly hurt little bird and shuffled his feet all the way down the steps, where the call of his belly was making his feet move.

Lex hadn't moved from the couch, actually. He just held out his hand, and before he could barely formulate the thought, the bottle of scotch flew from the bar and into his grip, and he poured it down his throat.

Not that it made much of a difference, but the eye-watering, gut-churning sudden-alcohol overload was a slight distraction from his aching balls.

He could feel his skin prickling as Clark came down the stairs and drew closer, and really contemplated leaving through the staircase.

But he didn't.

Just like Clark repeatedly backward away from the door. But he didn't. Finally, finally, he opened the door and swallowed, slipping through and staying in the shadows of the wood. "Lex?"

"Yes, Clark?" Calm voice from the couch as he drank.

"I'm sorry."

Lex considered his answer a moment, and sat the bottle down on the floor by the couch. "I know you are."

Not the answer Clark had been looking for, and he flinched, shrinking back against the door. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You didn't." Another measured pause. "I shouldn't have said the things I did either."

"I only want what's best for you. I should have explained what I did...it just seems we never got the chance." His stomach clenched, almost sensing that nourishment was so close, but so far away.

Lex paused again, his balls jerking painfully as he heard Clark's stomach gurgling, and he sighed. "We never get the chance, Clark. There's always something in the way, something that comes up. It's not your fault."

"You aren't mad?" Clark asked, in a tiny voice, as he took a step forward.

"No, Clark, I'm not mad." Lex picked up the crystal decanter by the couch, and took another long drink of amber liquor.

Not the invitation he was looking for, and he stayed still. "I'm glad. I didn't want you to be." He swallowed. "I checked on Dominic… he's okay. Asleep, probably for the rest of the night."

Lex gave a dry laugh into the liquor bottle before taking it away from his mouth. "That's... good to know."

"What's wrong?"

Another dry chuckle. "Wrong, Clark? Why should anything be wrong? I just got yelled at like a five year child by my lover in front of my father. Nothing should be wrong, should it?"

Clark flinched again. "I didn't mean to. I was just angry. I'm sorry, Lex," Clark said, quietly, and looked down at the floor. "I had to make you understand, so you'd be aware of it, and you could...stop."

Lex just waved his hand as he took another drink, and tried to ignore the throbbing of what felt like his entire lower body. "It's all right, Clark. I'm sure my father got quite a kick out of it, seeing as how it's the way he used to treat me. He's rubbing off on you." He looked down at the bottle, then held it out to Clark. "I've been rude. Have a drink. Have a few drinks, actually." He held his hand out again, and the vodka flew into his outstretched fingers. "There's enough to go around."

Clark caught the bottle, but rather than drink of it, he set it beside him on the table. "I didn't mean to. I was just angry. Please believe me, Lex, okay?" Clark asked, very softly, without coming closer. "I'm sorry."

"You said that already, Clark. And I told you I know you're sorry." He closed his fingers around the slender neck of the vodka bottle and tipped it back.

"But that doesn't matter?" Clark asked, softly.

Lex waited until he'd taken another drink and swallowed it before answering. "It matters."

Clark pushed his fingers through his hair, and looked around the office once, before back to Lex. "I'm going back upstairs. Victoria's asleep, my dad got her to bed."

A little smack of his lips as Lex pulled the bottle away. "What's his secret? Hammer to the head?"

Clark shook his head, quietly. "Reading to her. I don't like it when you're like this, though, Lex. I'm going to go."

"We may make your father our official babysitter." He snorted. "Don't like it when I'm like what, exactly?"

"Half drunk and trying to piss me off."

"Half drunk? I'm not even close, Clark. I don't think I could get drunk anymore. Between my spiked up metabolism and the... whatever I've inherited from you, it's like drinking water. So believe me when I say, Clark, I'm not nearly as drunk as I'd like to be, and probably never will be again."

"No, you probably won't be. You're not normal anymore, Lex, I'm sad to say--take me as a lover and your life gets fucked up--that's the price you pay for loving an alien. Sucks, doesn't it? My parents seemed to think so, too," Clark said, in a very quiet, very calm voice.

"I was never normal," Lex pointed out. "Even before the meteor shower. I've never been normal a day in my life, and I don't expect to be now. I just occasionally miss getting drunk. And while we're on the subject, your father is a dickwad, Clark, if you'll pardon the expression, because he's yet to realize what a gift you were to him."

"Its not about that, or my dad. Its about you and me. I'm not going to apologize anymore, Lex--I'm trying to do the right things by you, and I fuck it up," Clark answered, his belly twisting and vicing and begging for him to pay attention to it.

"I'd say we both do our own fair shares of fucking up. And, if it's not about your father, then don't bring him into the conversation," Lex added as an afterthought.

"You're hurting me," Clark said, quietly. "Stop it. I said I was sorry, what more do you want from me?"

"I don't mean to hurt you," is all Lex said before taking another drink from the bottle.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Ask me one I can answer then."

"I'm not playing these games with you. I'm going to bed," Clark hissed, and turned, stalking towards the door.

"Toss me the box of tissue by the door when you leave," Lex said casually.

Oh, God. Clark almost whimpered, his belly vicing, and he lifted the cardboard box in question, ripped it to shreds, and let the heap of tissue fall before the library door slammed behind him.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Lex let out the moan that had been burning his chest for the last few minutes, and he dragged the blanket off his lap because the barest thought of having anything but air touch his balls was torture of the worst kind.

Clark heard the moan from behind the door and whimpered as he staggered towards the staircase, whimpering all the way up them and almost crying with hunger when he reached their bedroom. He stripped down to nothing and crawled into bed, desperately hoping some of the pain left if he went to sleep.

Lex stayed on the leather couch in his office, trying to find a position that was comfortable with his balls hanging like grapefruits between his legs. Every time he touched himself trying to rearrange into a better position he cried out, the pain of shifting places almost worse than the ache of not being able to empty himself.

Clark could feel his own lovers pain through the link, but his own pride, what little of it he had, was not going to be sacrificed for Lex. it seemed that whenever Lex got into one of his snits it was Clark apologizing, Clark making amends, Clark trying to make things right again, and he was tired of it. He hadn't done anything--perhaps he'd been a little too sharp, but he'd had to make Lex understand so Dominic wouldn't be hurt.

He didn't care if his belly hurt like hell. He was going to sleep, dammit.

Lex finally swallowed hard and bit down on his tongue as he turned onto his side. He had to choke down a scream as his balls rubbed not only against each other but against his legs as well, and his stomach turned nauseatingly as the shift in position caused them to dangle from his body and pull downwards with their weight. He curled up fetally, cradling the huge orbs in his hands as best he could as he tried not to be sick with the agony that wracked through him.

Clark felt his lovers pain, again and again with each shift, and he mewled softly as his own screamed to meet it. He rolled over onto his belly, then onto his side again, then burrowed tightly under blankets so the heat would calm his rampaging belly. He was starved, famished, so hungry he was dizzy with it, and he moaned, in a tiny voice.

The tiny moan did it for Lex, because it sounded like a loud, keening wail through their link. He struggled to sit up, choking down another scream as he did, and from sitting up, got to his feet.

He was surprised not to keel over flatly when he got up, because he half expected his balls to pull him down. Instead, they just hung from his body like the oversized painful weights they were, and it was a test of every shred of willpower Lex possessed to get to the staircase without crying out.

He clenched his fists on the oak paneling as he pushed it aside and stumbled into the secret staircase, barely remembering to make sure his blanket didn't get caught in the opening and closing mechanism.

He looked up the flight of stairs with a whimper, and definitely did not want to think about climbing up them in his condition. He made it up three stairs, and halfway up a fourth before he lost his balance and hit the stairs on his hands and knees.

Clark had long since lost the ability to tell. He was half asleep, the hunger gnawing a hole through his poor tummy as he curled around Lex's pillow and cried, silently, tears running down the sides of his face as he held onto the blankets and sniffled.

Lex could hear the crying in his head, and it was killing him. He pulled himself up from the fall, his hand squeezing the railing so tightly his knuckles were white as he pulled himself up step by excruciating step.

With each impact of his foot on stone, it sent a shockwave through his body that made him grit his teeth and choke back a cry as it caused his lower body to jiggle painfully. But it didn't matter. He focused on getting to Clark, and kept pulling himself up step by step.

He sagged against the wall, panting, breathless and blurry-eyed as he got to the top of the steps, and he had to think for a long minute which direction he was going in. But as soon as he did, he pushed off the wall, using the wainscoting as a handrail as he propelled himself up and down hallways, and banged his fist on their closed bedroom door.

Clark looked up, giving a soft, mewled sound that was half sob and half cry, and he reached for the door, but there was no way on God's earth he could move. His stomach hurt so badly that he was in a fetal position and he wasn't moving. So instead he whimpered, begging Lex to come in wordlessly.

Lex gave a little cry back through the thick oak door, and twisted the doorknob violently until it finally gave and he spilled into the room. He'd been leaning his weight against the door, and when it opened he stumbled forward, but pulled himself up until he got to the bed, and all but collapsed beside Clark, licking his tears and kissing his face, his cheeks, his lips and his eyes.

Clark openly sobbed as Lex fell on the bed beside him, grasping his lovers waist, his back, hugging him close as his lover kissed him. He was shaking as his fingers moved to his lovers slacks, but even through the mind dulling pain, he stopped, waiting for permission, waiting to know if it was okay, even as his stomach growled loudly.

Lex cried out as Clark hugged him and shifted him, but he pulled his legs close to Clark's, pressing his body as tightly to his aushna's as he could get as he nodded, not able to formulate words as he pushed Clark's hand lower, down to where it hurt.

Clark scooted down the bed, tugging Lex up at the same time as he literally tore through slacks and boxers and felt the heat coming up off of the overfilled, agonized balls. He covered his mouth over his lovers half-erect cock, sucking it in deep down his throat and keeping it there as he began to suckle softly but firmly at it, not ever once thrusting, just doing it like this because this is what his body craved, and this is what Lex needed.

God, it tasted so good, and his tummy clenched.

Lex keened sharply, his fingers stroking through Clark's hair as the cry turned to relieved sobbing, his balls thrumming in an entirely different way as Clark's mouth engulfed his cock. His entire body was tense, his cock hardening in moments as Clark's throat worked around him, and he couldn't move, but encouraged Clark in every other way he could think of.

And what Clark did, what was totally abnormal from what he usually did, was settle in against his lover, twining his thighs around Lex's lower legs, and wound his arms around his lovers butt, hugging it close as he suckled. He closed his eyes sleepily as the first tastes of his lovers flesh seemed to calm him, and he snuggled in close, sucking quietly.

Lex's mind, at least, quieted before his body did, because his thoughts listened to the contentment and calm that was coming from Clark's end of the link, and his body relaxed just a bit into Clark's arms. His legs embraced his lover tightly as he couldn't, not with Clark all the way down there, and he didn't even whimper when Clark's chin nudged against his balls.

Clark was very quiet, no whimpers, no pleas, just slowly doing what he knew he had to do. He hugged his lover close, breathing shallowly through his nose as he suckled softly at his lover, swallowing around the hard erection in his throat when he had to and making him mewl softly in pleasure as he continued. As soon as he felt his lovers body loosening he slowly stroked a thumb up to gently touch the very, very heavy, full balls, stroking the heated sack of them.

Lex panted softly, whimpering just a little and jerking as Clark's thumb stroked over his balls, his hips pushing his cock deeper into Clark's throat, but despite the fire roiling in his balls, he couldn't come and his little whines took on a deeper desperation as he tightened his legs around Clark in panic.

Clark stroked his lovers skin, carefully, gently, and slowly began to suck. Hard. He rose up and then pushed Lex back down his throat, hard and fast as his tongue began to stroke all the sensitive parts and he began to suck, hard, at the tip of his lovers erection on each thrust upward. His thumb, moistened by the spit on his lovers cock, came down and around his lovers hips, thumb stroking into the tight entrance Clark had used and abused just a short while ago, finding it still loose and easy to slip his thumb inside.

Lex cried out softly, clamping down on his lover's thumb as he rocked his hips, balls shifting and throbbing as Clark's tongue rubbed across the head of his cock.

The throbbing grew stronger, as did the fiery heat, and Lex tugged on Clark's hair in warning.

Clark pushed his lover back down his throat, coaxing him as deeply as he would go, and swallowed heavily around him, constricting his throat around him and swallowing hard to keep him deep. His thumb stroked deep, pressing against sensitive walls as Clarks fingers, free fingers, slid up to give Lex's more sensitive nipple a pinch.

Lex's fingers gave Clark's hair another vicious tug, and then he exploded with a scream.

Everything around him whited out as he came; all he could see was bright white nothingness as the ache in his balls finally, finally started subside as they emptied their overflowing load. it felt like he came forever, pouring pulse after pulse of semen into Clark's throat.

And Clark accepted each and every drop.

He didn't have a chance to make any pleased noises, he just wrapped his arm tightly around Lex's butt and kept him close as he swallowed each pulse, the hunger in his stomach turning to elation as his lover finally gave him what he needed. He swallowed and swallowed, breathing noisily through his nose as he did, but he didn't stop until Lex's balls, which he gently stroked, were empty and he had every single bit of it in his stomach.

He let his lover go with a wet pop, panting as he mewled in pleasure, his back arching softly as he pressed his face against Lex's lower belly.

Lex gave quiet little sobs of relief as he felt Clark sucking him dry, shuddering as Clark let him go. He squirmed down, just a little, so that Clark's face rested not against his belly but his chest, and he wrapped his arms around his lover as tightly as he could, holding him close.

Clark hugged him just as close, wrapping his arms tightly around his lover as he panted, his lips feeling swollen, his eyes heavy as he closed them and snuggled against Lex's deliciously warm, scented skin, and whimpered softly as he led his lover's hands down to his very hard, very erect, cock.

Lex's hands wrapped around the long length and stroked gently, rubbing his thumb over the slit, his fist stroking rapidly down the shaft. "I want to suck you," he croaked softly, unaware of how raw his throat felt until he tried to speak. "I miss the taste of you," he continued, stroking faster and harder.

Clark mewled softly, his hips thrusting into his lovers hands as he closed his eyes, hugging Lex tighter as he mouthed the skin under his cheek and grunted. It was good, so good, so very--

Oh, he came. He erupted, feeling his balls contract and the evidence of his pleasure spill between them, before his body reacted to the pleasure and had him crying out softly, writhing in Lex's arms and against the hot blankets.

Lex used the first jets of come to lube his lover's cock with, so he could stroke the trembling shaft all the faster to milk out the rest of his lover's orgasm. He wiped his hand on the sheets, not caring, and wrapped himself back around his lover, nosing Clark's earlobe gently and keeping his legs and arms tightly twined around his lover's body.

"Mad at me, still?" Clark whispered, in a broken, exhausted voice against his lovers shoulder, snuggling in as close as Lex was snuggling him and holding him close.

"No," Lex answered honestly. His anger had left the first time he'd heard Clark's keening cry. Because nothing else mattered in the face of his aushna's needs. "Angry with me?"

"Was never mad in the first place," Clark whispered against his lovers skin. "I love you. I was trying… to make you understand. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset, to make… you feel like… like I don't appreciate my aushna'."

Lex just clung to Clark tighter, at that. "Wasn't that. Just... you talked to me the way Dad used to. I didn't like it." He stroked his hands through Clark's hair, over his skin.

"I'm sorry," Clark whispered again, very, very softly. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Lex said, holding his aushna'. "It's okay. I'm sorry."

Clark nodded, sniffled, and then smacked his lover on the rump, hard enough to sting but not hard enough to leave any kind of mark. "The next time you sit there and argue with me about something I know for a fact is true just because you don't want to deal with the truth that yes--sometimes you are wrong, I will be forced to do thoroughly unpleasant things to you, Mr. Luthor."

Lex didn't yelp, just squirmed pleasantly against his lover, and kept his face buried in Clark's neck. "Yes, sir, Mr. Kent," he said sheepishly.

Clark grinned at the words, and nuzzled Lex's cheek back. "Good. Now, let me go to sleep. I feel so full."

Lex chuckled softly. "I feel empty. and tired." He thought. "And my knees hurt."

"Good. You need a shock to your system once in a while. Spice of life and all that," Clark muttered from somewhere beside his lovers collar bone, as he tugged the blankets up over their partially naked bodies but he was too tired to make them totally naked.

"Bite me," Lex muttered, curling up next to Clark and keeping his arms locked around his shoulders.

Clark nipped gently at the skin under his mouth, but yawned mid-way through and ruined the effect. "Mmm. Tomorrow, work to do, school to go to."

"Can't we fast forward through this year, get you your diploma, and keep you tied up to the bed to service my whims?" Lex whined.

Clark giggled. "You could, but we'd have to move to Chile."

A warm silence fell between them, sleepy, sated, with only their breaths in the air, and Clark said, "Huh."

"I've always heard Chile is great this time of year, and they don't frown on sex-slavery. Neither does Amsterdam, and you get the bonus of being able to smoke or shoot whatever you want while you're there." He paused. "Huh, what?"

Clark tipped his head, as if listening for something, and looked up at Lex. "Chloe went into labor."

"Oh, that's nice."

Then Lex did a double-take.

"WHAT????????????????????"

-fin-

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